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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Jay Shetty
Read between
January 7 - January 24, 2024
You find joy and satisfaction when a new bud appears and feel a thrill when it blossoms.
the greatest pursuit of human life is to love and to be loved.
Expecting love to last, but watching it fade.
experience the expansive love that you hope exists.
Greeks said there were seven basic types: Eros, which is sexual or passionate love; Philia, or friendship; Storge, or familial love; Agape, which is universal love; Ludus, which is casual or noncommittal love; Pragma, which is based on duty or other interests; and Philautia, which is self-love.
Movies idealize love, but we rarely find out what happens after happily ever after.
What they say is simple and accessible—an old lens that offers a new perspective.
The Practice of Love Nobody sits us down and teaches us how to love.
Everyone’s got advice for us: Love is all you need. When you meet your soul mate, you’ll know.
Relationships should feel easy. Opposites attract.
How to manage our emotions in connection to someone else’s.
I want to help you intentionally build love instead of wishing, wanting, and waiting for it to arrive fully formed.
I want you to create a love that grows every day, expanding and evolving rather than achieved and complete.
The four classrooms are: Brahmacharya ashram, Grhastha ashram, Vanaprastha ashram, and Sannyasa ashram.
ashram in a dictionary, you’ll find that it means “hermitage.”
ashram as a school of learning, growth, and support.
We are meant to be learning at every stage of life.
we prepare for love by learning how to love ourselves in solitude.
Grhastha, is when we extend our love to others while still loving ourselves.
define the deepest love as when you like someone’s personality, respect their values, and help them toward their goals in a long-term, committed relationship.
In Grhastha we will examine how to know if you’re in love (Rule 3), how to learn and grow with your partner (Rule 4), and how to set priorities and manage personal time and space within your relationship (Rule 5).
PROTECTING LOVE Vanaprastha, the third ashram, is a healing place where we retreat to seek peace. We find ourselves here either after a breakup, a loss,
Fourth Ashram: PERFECTING LOVE The fourth ashram, Sannyasa, is the epitome of love—when we’re extending our love to every person and every moment of our life. In this stage our love becomes boundless.
the cycle of relationships—from preparing for love, to practicing love, to protecting love, to perfecting love.
you must put your purpose before your partner’s.
Each of these rules helps you develop a mindset for love, whether you are single, in a relationship, or breaking up.
embracing your preferences and proclivities, so you don’t waste time on people who aren’t good for you.
Fairy tales, films, songs, and myths don’t tell us how to practice love every day.
Love is not about staging the perfect proposal or creating a perfect relationship. It’s about learning to navigate the imperfections that are intrinsic to ourselves, our partners, and life itself.
Alone, we learn to love ourselves, to understand ourselves, to heal our own pain, and to care for ourselves.
experience atma prema, self-love.
Let Yourself Be Alone I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.
When we learn to love ourselves, we develop compassion, empathy, and patience.
comfortable and confident in situations where we make our own choices, follow our own lead, and reflect on our own experience—is
track active solo pastimes, such as reading, walking, meditating, exercising, or pursuing an interest like cooking, going to museums, collecting, building, or creating.
when you attend by yourself, you practice developing your ideas and opinions without the influence of someone else’s taste.
set out with the goal of taking a photo you love (that you can keep for yourself or post to social media).
Solitude Is the Antidote to Loneliness
Paul Tillich said, “Language has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.”
During the time we spend without a sidekick, we move through the world differently, more alert to ourselves and the world.
When we pay attention to how we feel and what choices we’re making, we learn what we prioritize in life—our values.
It can be hard to be alone with your thoughts.
Do you have conversations in your head or is your internal experience quiet?
spend time pursuing our interests without needing the safety net of a companion.
Confidence is important in a relationship because it helps us talk to the person we like without seeking their approval or hinging our self-esteem on their reaction.
Sometimes a lack of confidence makes us think we’re not lovable.
five areas: Self, Financial, Mental/Emotional, Health, and Relationships.
Once you’re spending productive time in solitude, you begin to know your own personality, values, and goals.
Solitude allows us to understand our own complexity. We become students of ourselves.
When we’re alone we fully rely on ourselves, figure out what we care about, and learn who we are.
