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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Jay Shetty
Read between
January 7 - January 24, 2024
“Once the relationship is over, there’s a void in your life.… [T]here’s a loss and grief because the psychological attachment is broken.”
Another sign of waning interest is that you don’t instantly want to share good or bad news with your partner.
sure sign that interest has faded is that you no longer feel like you have anything to learn from each other.
When one or both partners are no longer putting effort into the relationship, either or both may have fallen out of love.
if you’re growing, you can help your partnership grow. Intimacy develops and thrives when we disclose more, when we try out ideas and let ourselves be vulnerable. This deepens our bond.
You open up your world by exploring with your partner. Intimacy is created through shared adventures: entertainment, experiences and experiments, and education, all of which are aimed at the same outcome.
A shared experience lets us reflect, share our opinions, and see if we’re in agreement. We learn about each other and with each other.
don’t multitask while you’re doing it. Stay off your laptop or phone so that you’re present with your partner as you watch together.
Traveling together is not just about going to a new place. Being in a place without distractions helps couples go deeper and become closer.
When you accomplish something new together, you bring that experience to all areas of your life.
Mental/emotional. What friends or resources can you turn to for mental health guidance and support?
Identifying your support system together will help you see where you’re best at supporting each other, and where you can turn to others without guilt or shame on either side.
emotions can intensify the sensation of a breakup.
with our exes, we harbor hurt feelings and dashed dreams, which can exacerbate and extend the pain.
It’s hard in a breakup to remember that we are still complete even though we’ve lost someone. This is where all that work you’ve done pays off.
You’ve taken all the steps to build your ability to be in solitude.
You know, intellectually at least, that you don’t need a relationship to feel complete. You know your tastes and ...
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Your expectations of your partner are breaking. What you thought you were building with them is breaking. What you had together is breaking. That’s where the hurt comes from.
There are no perfect words to tell someone the relationship is over.
I know plenty of people who manage to be friends with their exes, but I think it’s complicated.
If your partner breaks up with you, remember that the person who hurt you can’t help you heal.
Don’t wait for an apology. Closure is something you give yourself.
The river that flows in you also flows in me. —KABIR DAS
the more people you help, the more you expand your capacity for love.”
The more we can give, the better, but we start small and over time grow our capacity to give love.
Having a partner isn’t the end goal. It’s practice for something bigger, something life-changing, a form of love that is even more expansive and rewarding than romantic love.
Sannyasa, the goal is simply this: to look beyond the self to how we can serve others.
To create more loving connections with every person we meet. To feel love for all humanity.
We are connected, and when we serve others, we are serving ourselves.
When Kabir Das, the fifteenth-century Indian poet and saint, wrote, “The river that flows in you also flows in me,” he was suggesting that we’re connected to all humanity through our actions, words, behaviors, and breath.
Anne Frank said, “No one has ever become poor by giving.”
The joy we feel from serving others has been labeled the “helper’s high” or “giver’s glow,”
helper’s high doesn’t just feel good in our brains; it’s accompanied by lower levels of stress hormones and improved immune system function.
We are wired to love and be loving.
the soul is sat, chit, ananda: eternal, full of knowledge, full of bliss.
You’ve been a student of love, and now you’re a steward of love.
Understanding. All of us want to be understood.
Acceptance. Our friends and family want to be accepted and loved just the way they are, for who they are, with all their flaws and differences.
Appreciation. We give love through appreciating the little and big things our friends and family do, the struggles they face, the efforts and changes they make, the energy they bring to the relationship.
Robin Dunbar hypothesized that brains can only handle a certain sized social group, and
he and his colleagues determined that number to be about 150.
the tightest circle has just five people—loved ones. That’s followed by successive layers of 15 (good friends), 50 (friends), 150 (meaningful contacts), 500 (acquai...
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Love in the work world looks different. It’s not deep. It’s often not emotional.
Blueboard is a company that takes the idea of appreciating employees to heart.
We love our peers through support, encouragement, collaboration, cooperation, and appreciation.
Connection. Whether online or in person, start your day or a meeting by checking in with your colleague.
Appreciation. Every day choose one person from your professional life to send a brief message, by voice mail, text, or email, commending them or thanking them specifically for something they did at work.
If you love unconditionally in a professional context, it may take people off guard. They’re used to being motivated by fear or results but not love.
If you can’t be the sannyasi you want to be at work, make sure that you strive to give love in your personal life.
The easiest (and safest) way for us to give love to the people who cross our path is to smile.
