When We Were

by Diana Elliot Graham

REID?????????? NOO

I am in hell

The phrasing man the fucking phrasing gets me every damn time like what was really said during this scene? Not what she heard vs what he heard but what was said????

this is when you shouldve stopped her and just pulled her into a hug or something

Reid???????

she missed YOU she loves YOU

alexa play vienna

The phrasing man. The phrasing.

But the walls of ice we spent months thawing, melting down, and evaporating away, are now refrozen.

This is hell for me

arden arden arden it will get better for you I promise

I know regardless of what just happened, maybe even because of what just happened, he’d be mad that I’m walking around by myself this late at night.

this is literally what he was thinking in his pov tell me how they're not soulmates????

He probably thinks I’ll just go back to my dorm and maybe contact him about picking up my things another time.

THIS TOO

I just need him to pack one more I love you in the box with the rest of my things. Even as he walked away from me.

he didn't say it he didn't say it

I'm about to end it here

because you were not

He says, though his face for once betrays nothing. He’s flipped a switch and stills himself, regaining control over the emotions he so easily gave me before.

reid it's okay to show your emotions this is the girl you love the love of YOUR life

crying again. The phrasing difference in his vs her pov is killing me BTW

is late. But I couldn’t care less about my books. I’m here because I miss him already. That doesn’t stop me from moving. I walked through his apartment, first to the desk where I had a couple of textbooks.

I miss you both already

But I wasn’t going to come back tomorrow. In daylight when my shredded dignity and fractured heart would be a lot more visible.

this. If she'd come back the next day, they both would've cooled down. Maybe even talked

“And that’s why you’re here at 2 a.m., to pick up your stuff because we broke up?”

this part is just a formality, Reid.” He had said it. Called it. Told me he wasn’t interested in this anymore. That he wouldn’t do this anymore. And I wondered how long he had felt like this. That it would be so easy to cut the tether between us. Snap the thread of love that he tugged on constantly. The thread he used to unravel me.

Yeah a knife to the heart will hurt less

Closure is such bullshit. I don’t even know what that really means. I need just a bit more of him before I close the chapter altogether. I need to know it wasn’t always this. I don’t want the book to end, but if it has to, I at least want an epilogue.

you deserve so much more

can feel the memory of them in this room. But the taste of him in my mouth is different now. Not the dark chocolate that coated our lips, but the saltiness of my tears as we take what we need from each other.

As his tongue moved against mine, he kissed me with the desperate desire of a goodbye, and I know it’s only building to one thing: An ending.

i'm OK

put it in a frame, and it sat atop the piano since then. Until now. When she took it back. She dropped the items from her hands, and with it, the frame shattered, and glass flew across the floor.

the frame breaking apart just like their relationship

But if I don’t know her, how does every atom in my body recognize her? She’s familiar in my arms, and her breathing synced with mine so immediately. I know her but I don’t understand her.

I KNOW HER BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND HER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I’ll deal with it when you leave.” There was no part of that sentence that sounded the way I meant it to. Yet, I have no energy to try and clarify. It doesn’t matter. That much is clear.

reid??????!!!!!

“I’d rather you didn’t, but I’ll walk you back.”

Her elbows on her knees, she drops her face into her hands. Hiding physically what she is already working so hard to wall off emotionally.

I want her longer. But, I won’t have that. Not if she doesn’t want it. This will be the end.

:)))))))

molten. He leans his mouth to my ear, “I love you.” It’s a whisper, one I think would have preferred to contain.

their last I love you

alexa play daylight by maroon five

I would black out every window here and barricade us in the darkness if it meant I didn’t have to go.

THIS IS KILLING ME

He didn’t exist in things that weren’t real. Except maybe, after tomorrow, only in my memory.

the reread doesn't hurt less

“It doesn’t have to be–” perhaps the smallest smile begins to pull at his lips.

HE TRIED HE TRIED but not hard enough

To say I woke up would imply that I slept.

I’m not in the habit of begging for things, not attention, not relationships, and if she had decided that this was over beyond this ‘closure’, then so be it.

this is why you didn't get the girl

But I’m not going to chase someone who doesn’t want to be chased.

:)))))))

She made it clear it was over. So, it’s over.

DID SHE??????

You would think, for all the reading we’ve done. We would be able to borrow some words from the greats before us.

second this

the living room. As much as it breaks my fucking heart, looking at her like this, I think she made the right decision.

SHE DIDNT

looks at me tells me she thinks she did. Who am I to question that? Who am I to question her? Question what she wants. I always wanted her honesty, and last night she gave it to me, even in the moments I didn’t want to believe

He’s not taking anything from me this time. His lips don’t pull secrets or thoughts from my head. Now, he’s returning them back to me.

I cant do this I really cant do this

He pulls away from our last kiss, planting one more quick kiss to my lips like he always did. Like a period at the end of the sentence.

LIKE A PERIOD NOT A COMMA A PERIOD

There is nothing to do but understand that there is nothing to do. Knowing that, I watch her walk out the front door. The softness of her lips fading from memory as the door closes behind her. The door closes on us.

alexa play the one that got away by katy perry

Wanting to leave a void where I had been, even though he seemed to easily accept that, not accept, want. He seemed to want that. At least that’s what I had thought.

crying again

I was too caught up in my own pride to acknowledge that you needed something from me.”

:)))))))))))

You were asking, telling me, literally screaming at me, and I let you down. I let you go. Worse, I let you think I wanted you to go. Turns out I could have given you anything you wanted except the things I didn’t know how to give.”

alexa play you're losing me by taylor swift

“Baby, look at me.” The term unintentionally falls from his lips as his resolve cracks and I pull my hands from my face and look up at him.

THE NICKNAME. YOU CANT CONVINCE ME HE DOESNT HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER

“Not better than this,” He gestures with his free hand between us, the acknowledgement of our friendship. “And not better than this.” His thumb rubbing across the back of my knuckles, catching on my wedding rings. His approval and gratitude for my happiness.

arden is happy in the present that's the only thing that matters actually