Ashes (The Boys of Chapel Crest, #2)

by K.G. Reuss

Then the pain came. Blinding white light. Searing agony ricocheting through my body. Seth screamed. “Sirena!” A hiss. A cry. “Sirena!” He was hurting too. He was hurting so much.

Except the heavy breathing of the evil wizard as he leaned down and spoke into my ear, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Or we will beat him out of you. . .”

I didn’t hear the rest. The pain took over, and the darkness grew heavier until it was all I was. All I’d ever be.

I’d woken up several hours ago, still alive and in even more misery.

It didn’t matter. Nothing did. Angel was gone. Church gave her away. Asylum had her now. My poor, sweet angel. I had nothing without her. It was extreme, but ever since I’d met her, I couldn’t get her

out of my damn head. I’d wanted her so much it had hurt, and when I’d had her. . .I was so fucking close to getting everything I’d ever wanted then she’d been torn from me.

In retrospect, I’d overreacted. I should’ve waited until everyone was sleeping then done it. Of course, the other side of that was the pain I knew I’d leave behind whenever they would’ve found my cold body. I winced at that. Hearing Church calling for me broke my heart. Seeing the look on Ashes’s and Sin’s faces had made the reality of my poor decision set in. I’d fucked up. Plain and simple.

A midnight death would’ve been better planned. Then I wouldn’t have these shitty thoughts in my head.

If I had a way right now, I’d finish the fucking job. I didn’t want to be in a world where I couldn’t have Sirena. I’d lived a life without her before meeting her. There was no way I was going back to that cold, harsh existenc...

My baby looked awful. “Sirena! Angel!” Fuck.

His icy blue gaze locked on mine. There was so much pain in them it made me sick to my stomach. What the fuck was going on? Had he touched her? Did he get caught? Did he finally fucking snap? Did Church lose it on him?

Sirena. Angel. Fuck. I should be sane. I should be helping. What do I do? What do I do? Nothing. There was nothing I could do.

The pinch of the needle in my vein made me realize that they feared me. It was just as well. I scared me too.

When the first wave of the medicine washed over me, everything dulled, even the pain in my heart for Sirena.

I was restrained. Flat on my back on an ice cold slab. Fuck. God. Help.

Warm lips brushed against my ear. “It’s either you or her. Take this nightmare and cradle it close or she will.”

Another tear slid past my lashes as he touched me. As someone else came into the room. A voice I recognized. My brain couldn’t put the pieces together though. Darkness descended. And then silence.

All I knew was that God must have stepped away from his desk when it came to getting my messages. I was on my own here.

I was ready to explode. Too much stress was building within me. It was like each bit of bad shit was a piece of kindling.

“I don’t try to burn the damn house down either,” he shot back, his gray eyes flashing at me. “What the fuck? You’re supposed to be the strong one. You’re the one we count on to hold your shit together. Don’t fucking slip, man. Not right now.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he stared at me. “Come on. Please.” I tore my gaze away from the now dead, waterlogged fire and sighed.

If I let myself feel, I’d burn up like the fucking shit you set on fire in there. It would kill me.” He pounded his fist on his chest. “I can’t let this shit consume me because it would end me. You need to understand that. I’m already struggling.” His voice cracked, and he quickly looked away from me. “I just. . . I just want to forget. Float away. Be someone else for a fucking change. I-I wish I’d died when my father shot me.”

“So I didn’t have to hurt. Be afraid. Feel.”

“What happens if he tries again? Because it’s fucking Malachi, man. You know how he is when he falls. He tumbles in an endless, black abyss. What if he can’t come back this time? What if he feels how I feel and just doesn’t fucking want to keep going?” My heart constricted.

I frowned. “What does that have to do with me and the guys leaving? We’re in this together. You know that. We’re not going anywhere. We love you, Sinclair. I know you think you’re not worthy of love, but you are. If we, by some miracle, get her back, that doesn’t change our group. We’re still in this together.” I studied him as he continued to look at the floor. “Let a little love in.” “Look where love got me last time.”

“Right here,” I said gently. “Right on the cusp of falling in love with someone wonderful and perfect for us. It wasn’t a mistake to love Isabella, Sin. She was a light guiding you to these moments.”

“We’re monsters, Ashes.” He peered at me, his eyes filled with sorrow. “It doesn’t matter if we’re capable of feeling love. At the end of the day, a monster loves his meal. He loves to feast, and Sirena is a fucking del...

But even monsters deserved to be loved. Maybe Sirena was a different kind of monster, one who could save us. A good monster. “The best kind of monster,” I murmured. I’d cling to that thought.

Church had named her well. She was a fucking specter. A ghost who wouldn’t stop haunting me because everywhere I went, she was there. In my head. My heart. In fucking conversations. Every-fucking-where.

Why the fuck did I want to be close to her? Fuck. What was happening to me? I was letting her go. Wouldn’t I have had to have had her first though?

I’d meant what I’d said when I’d told Ashes that I wished I’d died with my old man. Life would be a fuck of a lot easier if I wasn’t around to dick everything up.

“She cared about you, you know? I could tell. It was in her eyes when she’d watch you. So, um, if you’re feeling upset or something, just know that she cared. Figured I should tell you.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I didn’t want her to care.

I wanted to get out of this fucking nightmare. Church wasn’t going to let this go. He was going to dig until he unearthed my skeletons. Ashes would help. I’d seen the looks on their faces. And Stitches. He’d nearly killed himself because of me. Because of some fucking shit I’d done. My demons were feasting on my black soul. The guilt was becoming too much to take.

Fuck. I couldn’t. I couldn’t lose them. They were all I had in this world. They’d never forgive me. . .

Church didn’t say anything, but then again, he didn’t have to. It was really only a matter of time. That was how Dante Church worked. He’d watch. Wait. Then he’d fucking attack. I’d take it. I’d take it all. I knew it was coming for me. For now though, I needed to try to fix things. But fucking how?

I sighed. “He’s struggling.” “Aren’t we all?” Church muttered.

“We’ll find out who the fuck did this to you, specter,” I murmured. “And I’ll teach them what happens when you fuck with what belongs to us. Promise, baby.”

I wanted to crawl out of my fucking skin. It didn’t feel like mine anymore. It felt tainted and used. Wasted. Broken. Not my fucking body. I wasn’t Stitches. I was something else I didn’t quite understand.

Please, no. Don’t take me. Don’t fucking take me. I don’t want to go. Mama, please. Help me.

Fuck this. Fuck THIS. I strained so hard to sit up that my guts ached. But I had nothing left. I couldn’t move.

Fuck, help me. Whoever me is. “Spread his legs,” the voice said. My body was jostled, my legs spread. Dizziness swept over me. I was dying. I was fucking dying. I hoped they remembered me. Whoever they were.

Who was I? Help me. God? Was there a god? There was a devil. Demons. I was a demon. No. I was the devil. I was scared. Mama. . . please. . . Pain. So much pain. I couldn’t scream. I couldn’t fucking scream! Please, Mama. Help me. Help me! I was being torn in two. The ring of fire burned my center as the silent scream lodged in my throat. Mania. Tears. Was I crying? I hurt so much. Mama, please help me. Sirena. . . Do I know you, angel? I love you. I fucking love you. Darkness. Cold. Thank fuck.

Fear didn’t adequately explain the feelings I had. Dante and the guys were my best friends. My family. They were everything to me. Losing them was unacceptable. I just couldn’t.

We must hold on. Don’t let go. For Rinny. We suffer in silence for our forever girl.

Retribution will come once she’s ours again. . .

Teach them a painful lesson before we kill them all.

We do what we must to protect what’s ours. They’ll be punished. We owe it to her. Say it. Say what we must do.

“We’ll kill them all,”

“We will kill them all,” I repeated fiercely, Rinny’s face flashing in my mind’s eye. No survivors.

He’s using her to break into your mind. He wants to use her to get to you. Kill him. Kill him. KILL HIM. We can’t kill him. We must wait until the time is right. WAIT.