More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
I’d hurt her. I’d treaded where I didn’t have permission. I’d never done anything like that to anyone before. I may have been a prick, but I wasn’t a fucking rapist. I fell to my knees and wept, my body quaking with my sins. Get it together. Fucking get it together!
Fix it. Fucking fix this.
“I want to go home,” I whispered, clinging to her. “I want us both to go home, baby. Together. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. . .” But I did. I fucking knew I did. I’d wanted her, and under the influence, I’d taken a small bit of her. I’d let the drugs control me. I’d stolen it. Like a thief. Like a disgusting piece of shit. I breathed out, trembling as I held her. “I-I promise, angel. I promise I’ll make this better.” I kissed her forehead again and closed my eyes, listening to her soft, sad song as I cradled her against me. I wanted to die.
I wanted to hang in a closet. Throw myself out of my window and break on impact. Slit my wrists until I’d drained the monster from my body. I twined my fingers through hers, sobbing softly. And maybe it was my desperation, but I could’ve sworn she gave my hand a tiny squeeze, her quaking body relaxing against mine. “You’re still here,” I whispered, my voice wobbling and hoarse. A tiny blossom of hope bloomed in my chest. I breathed out. It hurt. This life hurt so fucking much. And the pain was growing. But. . . I had her. We still had her. For that, I’d fight until my body broke.
“I’ll stay too, baby. I’ll...
This highlight has been truncated due to consecutive passage length restrictions.
I brushed my lips against hers again, and she still didn’t react. “I fucked up. I fucked up bad.” She didn’t seem to care. Anger surged through me. Snarling, I tightened my hand around her throat, giving it a squeeze. She gasped against my lips, her fingers digging painfully into my chest through my t-shirt. Flashes of Isabella went through my head as she’d cried out for me to stop. To not hurt her. I was a repeat fucking offender it would seem.
“Love me,” I choked out, fucking deep into her. “Please, fucking love me.”
“I hate you. I fucking hate you, siren. You’re ruining my fucking life.” I rasped as she sobbed silently.
My mind raced from Stitches, hanging in his closet to siren silent as a tomb in her bed. The devastation on Church’s face. The pain flickering in Ashes’s eyes whenever they met mine. Everything was fucked-up because of me. I always ruined things. Always. I couldn’t handle what Bells had done to me, so I took it out on my poor, sweet, innocent siren. Fuck, I was a monster. A villain. A demon.
And she was a perfect angel I knew I didn’t deserve, but fuck me, because I wanted her. I wanted her so badly I was willing to come clean with the guys if it meant it brought her back to us. Us.
Like she’d ever want me. But it struck me hard in that moment. It didn’t matter if she never wanted me. I’d leave for her. I’d let the guys take her and find their happiness. Mine didn’t matter. I deserved punishment. And a fitting one would be for me to forever be without her and my brothers by my side. It was a fate that was all too kind after the shit I’d done. “I’ll make it right,” I whispered into the spray. “I swear I will. And then I’ll take my punishment. I’ll kill myself if it’ll stop the pain I created for my family. For siren.” And I would. I couldn’t live with this secret. I
...more
This highlight has been truncated due to consecutive passage length restrictions.
Love did fucked-up shit to men. At least that was what I was diagnosing myself with. A case of love. I loved my specter, and not having her with me was tearing me apart. I was close to losing my damn mind.
I was quiet for a moment, contemplating my next words. “Do you. . . see the future or some shit?” He looked to his right, his gaze darting around. I wasn’t even sure he was going to answer until he snapped his attention back on me. “No.” “No?” I raised my brows at him. “Then what is it? You really just get lucky?” His forehead crinkled. “No.” I sighed. He was difficult to talk to. “I’m really not,” he said, studying me. “Not what?” “Difficult to talk to.” I gaped at him for a moment. “You’re in my head right now, aren’t you?” I wanted to get to the bottom of whatever the fuck he was.
“No. You’re in mine,” he whispered. His words sent chills up my spine. I wasn’t easily unnerved, but Seth Cain had a way about him. Maybe it was the same way I had about me that set people on edge whenever I was too close. I let my thoughts flow, testing him, wondering if he’d pick up on anything. I could kill him out here and bury his body. No one would know. No one would miss him. I watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed, and his bottom lip wobbled. “That’s the hardest part,” he finally said. “What’s that?” I took the rabbit off the spit and tore a chunk of meat off, popping it into my mouth.
...more
“Rinny was the only one, and I fucked that up,” he continued. “Don't hate me for trying to find someone to give a damn about me. I know it’s easy to hate someone like me after all my crimes, but I’m human too. Or at least I think I am.”
“And if it’s not, we’ll break them out and kill the fuckers.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.
I licked at the bit of blood still beading out from the wound I’d given her. She flinched beneath my tongue. Fuck, she tasted like my kind of hell.
I sighed and ran my fingers up her bare thigh, relishing in her smooth, warm skin. My mind wasn’t working the way it usually did. Everything seemed cloudy. You’re going crazy. Gone crazy. Cuckoo. Why not just fuck her? Why wait? You want it. I bet her pussy is tight. Hot. Wet. Made for us. She’ll never know. Just do it. End this. Then kill him. Give Stitches back to the watchers. Take Rinny. No. No. Retribution is best had once the suffering permits it. Why is everything so foggy? I hate it. She will have a baby someday. Fuck. “I want it to be mine,” I whispered. Not mine. Yes? Mine. Can it be
...more
I clenched my teeth and shook the voices away, my chest aching. Nothing was fucking working like it should. Who the fuck am I? What am I? Who are we? I closed my eyes and hugged my forever girl closer to me. “Tomorrow, Rinny,” I said softly. “We’ll make progress. If we don’t, we die. And Malachi will die with us. It’s that simple.” And it really was.
“We’re never done with Sirena,” Church snarled. “Ever.”
“Enough,” I said softly. “We love Sirena. We’ll do what we can for her, but Asylum has her right now. We need to just. . . back off. We’ll focus on Stitches.” Church stepped away from Sin and nodded. “Ashes is right. Stitches needs us.”
He was angry and frustrated. I couldn’t blame him. I was drowning in it too. All I wanted to do was rush back to Sirena’s room and hold her in my arms. To tell her I was so sorry and promise I’d fix it all.
“Let’s just get out of here before we have to deal with Sully again,” I said, interrupting the growing tension. “She seems fine. Asylum is with her.” And I hated it. I really, truly did, but there wasn’t anything we could do about it. At least, not yet anyway. We’d fight for her once we were on even ground. We’d go to war if it came down to it.
“Soon, Malachi. I’ll get you out of here. I love you. Stay strong. Fuck, stay strong.” Church stayed at the window for a long time before I moved forward to see Stitches’s dark eyes peering back at me. A look of pure, heart-wrenching sadness was on his face, a bandage covering the side of his head yet. He appeared thinner. Gaunt. Sick. His eyes were bloodshot, and his dark hair hung limply. He mouthed my name, a tear snaking down his cheek. And a sentence I could make out plain as day. I’m sorry.
I felt so weird inside my head. Inside my own body. It was like a prison I couldn’t escape. In the darkness, I could hear Seth calling to me. Reminding me. Begging me.
And Stitches. He’d been lost in the dark too. He’d made me feel good once he’d found me. He’d made me want to wake up. He’d hurt me though. All of the watchers had. If I woke up, I’d just be hurt again.
“You have to come back. We’re running out of time. We’re a fucking experiment. I may be destined to be a lab rat, but you’re not. Come on, Rinny! It’ll be scary, but I promise we’ll be OK. Just. . . trust me, OK?” Trust him. Seth. “You can trust me,” he called out. The pressure on my hand moved to my face. He was cradling my face. I wanted to pull away as much as I wanted to lean into him. I missed him. My best friend. “Let me save you. I owe this to you.” His warmth radiated through me as his body touched mine.
I twined my fingers with Seth’s, the light infiltrating my dark prison. He’d saved me then. He promised to save me now. I blinked rapidly, the light from the flames in the fireplace hurting my eyes. Seth’s blue eyes greeted me. “Rinny,” he breathed out. “Hey.” I crinkled my brows, ready to retreat as fear gripped my heart. “No. No! Don’t go. Stay. Fuck. You have to stay. Just. . . listen. Sully has Stitches. He’s here. He’s experimenting on him. We need to get out of here, but we can’t because you’re not well enough to leave. If you stay here in the moment, you save us all. You save Stitches,
...more
Malachi. Stitches. I was his angel. I stared at Seth. He seemed different. Darker. Tired. Worried. Asylum. He was crazy. He hurt me. . . I retreated from his stare, but he was quick to squeeze my hand. “I’m not as crazy as you think I am,” he whispered. “I’m not him. I’m not Asylum. You should fear us, but you should fear Sully more. Right now, I’m not your enemy. Stay. Save Stitches if not yourself.” I parted my lips. I was scared.
“My head hurts, Rinny,” he said, his voice choked. “So much. I think they’re drugging me through my food or something. I really need you to stay. Can you do that for me?” For him. Seth. He wanted me to stay. The light felt nice. But I was scared. I was so scared. I didn’t want to get put into another box. “The next time you’re in a box with me, I’ll be buried deep inside you,” he said fiercely. “And you won’t be screaming out of fear, I can promise you that, Rinny.” He shifted closer so his nose was nearly touching mine. “Stay. I need you.” You need me? Where were you when I needed you? I
...more
“Things are going to get really scary, Rinny. OK? When you’re with me, stay. When Sully comes and it scares you, hide. I’ll protect you from him. You can shimmer in and out and be whoever you need to be to stay safe. My sweet pirate princess or. . .” He cocked his head at me. Your vicious little monster. “My monster,” he murmured. “Yes, you’re the monster we created, aren’t you?” He winced and shook his head before he looked back at me. “Sometimes it’s loud in my head,” he said, grimacing. “Sometimes it’s hard to. . . hear you.”
We stared at one another for a minute. I willed myself to hold his gaze rather than retreat back into my mind like I was tempted to do.
I contemplated his words. I wanted to go home too. Being here was hurting me. My body was so sore now that I was in the light. As much as I wanted to dart back to my safe spot, I knew I couldn’t. Not if Stitches needed me. Not if. . . Not if Seth did. My killer. Or attempted murderer. Was that what he was to me now? “I’m your Seth,” he said thickly. “That isn’t going to change. And you’re my Rinny. Our forever girl. You belong to us.”
And you belong to me. . . “Always,” he said, resting his forehead against mine. “Now let’s get the fuck out of here, so I can give you a proper rescuing. You ready, Rinny?” No. But definitely yes.
I needed to get out of here. I needed to be away from it all so I could breathe. So I could think. So I could. . . “Live,” he finished. “Good. Because I don’t plan on doing it alone.” Funny he should say that considering he’d tried to kill me before. He pulled away and gave me a smile I hadn’t seen in years. My heart raced as I stared at the boy I’d once loved with every ounce of my being. “Love,” he whispered. “Still love. There is no past tense with us, Rinny.” No past tense. So the fates seemed to have decided. I squeezed his hand. He’d rescued me. He was inside my head somehow. Just. .
...more
This highlight has been truncated due to consecutive passage length restrictions.
“Nope.” I pushed off the railing. “I’m a prick who doesn’t deserve happiness.”
“I know you hate yourself. That you run. That you’re a grouchy prick. That maybe you know what really happened to my sister.”
“Don’t fucking come at me with that shit. You’ll find yourself dead.” “Don’t threaten me with a good time,” she grumbled back, poking her finger hard into my chest. “Fuck with me, and I’ll fuck with you right back. And fuck with my sister? You’ll be the one who fucking wakes up dead. I’m going to find out who did this to her. So if it was you, I’d start running. This is me giving you a head start.”
“I’m fast as fuck, Sinclair,” she said softly. Dangerously. “I promise that you don’t want to find out just how fast. If I catch you, you’re a dead man.”
The memories or whatever the fuck was happening were so fucking cloudy in my mind that there was no way in hell to tell what was real and what wasn’t. I wasn’t even sure if I’d really spent a day with my angel or not.
Nothing was real, and yet it all was. It was fucked-up. I was fucked-up. This life was fucked-up. I wanted out. Still. I wanted out.
I paced the short length of my room, counting the steps. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Turn. One. Two. Three. Four. . . Breathe. Angel. Help me, Mama. Fuck. I feel nuts. Church, man. Come on. Ashes. Burn this motherfucker down. Sin. . . prick. I’m still pissed, but I miss you.
I was a wicked guy with a soul made of pitch, but Everett Church? That man was the face of pure evil. Hands down. Tag, I’m out. Fuck him and his shit.
Church and I had promised one another we’d never fall prey to Everett’s evil ways. So far we’d done a great job, but as I stared back at the monster in front of me, I realized all good things must come to an end.
I hate you. I fucking hate you. Evil, worthless prick.
I hated it. Fuck, I hated it, but I had to promise. I had to save her. I owed her this. I owed Dante and the watchers. Screwing up had led me to this moment. So to hell with it.
Something told me I’d just made a deal with the devil.
You can’t keep running out like that. I do what I fucking want. Not when it comes to her. I ground my teeth. It was the truth. I’d been slacking. In my defense, I’d been busy doing other things to help pave the way. Deep in my mind was a terrifying place. It was where all my demons hid. Where plans were made. Where plots were sorted. Where I decided who lived and who died. Usually, I let them live just because I had a hard-on for making people scream. Was that a kink? Fuck it. It was mine.
I’ll try harder. Fucking BE better.
I shook my head and cleared the noise. I blew out a breath as I stared up at my ceiling in the shitty hospital room I was in. Ah, poor boy. So sad. Many tears this one cries. No, many tears she’ll cry. Here comes the deep wound and the remedy. Stitches. Stitches is coming. “Shut the fuck up,” I snarled, panting as I glared to my left before I shook my head again. Malachi Wolfe. The predator himself was coming.
