Ashes (The Boys of Chapel Crest, #2)

by K.G. Reuss

I gave my head a slight shake and breathed out, hoping to quiet the noise inside.

I didn’t need to hear the words to know what they were saying about her. But I was good like that. Knowing things no one else did. I called it my superpower, if monsters like me possessed such things.

She rounded the science building, unaware I was following her. I was always following her. To classes. To her dorm. To the fucking watchers’ house. I made it my business to invade every facet of her life, whether she knew it or not. I was sure I still haunted her dreams even after all these years.

She was supposed to be dead. Safe. Far away from any fucker who could harm her. She was our Rinny. My forever girl. My everything. I was supposed to meet her in the afterlife after I’d killed all the wicked. We were meant to ...

Always her pretty eyes. It was where she hid her secrets. I always knew to look at her eyes if I wanted the truth from her without her saying a word.

I knew her demons though. They played with mine. A game we’d been part of since our souls had collided all those long years ago.

My greatest failure. My greatest weakness. My greatest love.

The kill wasn’t where my triumph lay. Not even close. In fact, I found the entire act of death to be bittersweet and sad. Disappointing, really. It was in the torture and fear where my pleasure was. In the screams. Because there were worse things than death. Carving out an eye. Tearing fingernails from fingers, one by one. Forcing them to watch as I sliced deep into their flesh. Their fear. Fuck, I loved the fear. Ah, fuck. Glorious. Screams. Screams were the cherry on top of a big fucking sundae of agony.

It was amazing what I was willing to do all in the name of love. And obsession. But my forever girl deserved it all, and I’d make sure she got it.

Church’s words as he had held her in his arms. “He broke her. He broke my specter. Fuck, baby. Come back to me.”

“It’s not good. She’s. . . not here right now. Her mind. The doctor thinks she’s catatonic. They have her in bed and medicated. They’re doing some other shit to her. Testing and whatever. S-she won’t even look at me. Her eyes. . .” His voice cracked. “Fuck,” Stitches choked out, tugging at his hair as he rocked in his seat. “Fuck!” I closed my eyes briefly. This couldn’t be happening! We’d just gotten everything sorted with her. She was getting better. Fucking Seth Cain. . .

“Fuck the meds. They won’t fix what’s wrong,” he said, his voice hoarse.

“We don’t need anything else shitty happening. We need to be strong for her right now. When she comes back to us, she’ll need us to be ready. OK?”

“She’s lost her mind,” I whispered, flicking the lighter opened and closed five more times. Stop. Again. Five times. Faster. Fuck, I was going nuts thinking about her terrified in that box.

By the time we got the lid off and Church pulled her out, she was. . . gone. She was humming. Then she went stiff and hasn’t reacted since.” The words were hard to choke out.

“He won’t leave her side. He held her. I watched him beg her to come back to him. He fucking cried.” I turned to Sin finally. “Church never begs or cries. If she doesn’t come back, we’re going to lose him and Stitches.”

“She’d break you.” I snarled, rising and facing him down, pissed off he refused to feel anything. “You’re so fucking scared of getting hurt that you’re hurting your own damn feelings. If anyone is going to break us apart, it’s you!”

Walk the fuck away from her. It’s over. Ashes said she screamed for Seth. She’s his. Not yours. Not Ashes’s. Not fucking Church’s. We aren’t good for her. She’s not good for us. Game over.”

But he was onto something. I wouldn’t stop either. I wanted answers too. I’d do whatever I had to just to get them. No one fucked with my heaven and got away with it. No one.

And Sirena Lawrence belonged to me. I’d do whatever I had to do to prove it.

Her soft, warm lips. Her silky skin. Her smell. Lavender. Coconuts. Something distinctly angel. Her eyes. Blue. Green. Bursts of gold. Beautiful eyes. Perfect, sweet girl. My angel. My fucking angel. She was gone. Gone. Gone. She wasn’t coming back to us. Asylum had broken her. Shattered her. Shattered me.

It was killing me. Breaking me apart.

Fuck, I missed my angel.

“Slipping now won’t be good for any of us. Stay focused, Malachi. Stay here, not inside your head. I want to escape too, but it’s not fair that you’re the only one who gets to. Come back, OK? Don’t keep falling. Come back f-for angel.” “Angel,” I murmured.

I buried my face in my hands and let out a soft sob I tried to choke down. I wasn’t a crier. But fuck. Angel. I knew she was alive, but my baby was hurting. Sick. Lost. We had to figure out how to get her back. What if she didn’t come back?

Focus, Malachi. Focus. Keep your head in the game. Angel. Stay for my angel. No spiraling allowed. Not yet.

I hated myself in that moment for being so fucking weak when she needed me.

This was angel though. I’d struggle through it for my girl.

I hated myself. Fuck, I did. I’d even contemplated ending my life just to escape the agony of what I’d done to her.

nodded. I needed him to keep my secret. I was on the brink of losing everything. “I’ll do it.” I hated the words. I hated them so much. I just kept digging a deeper fucking hole, but this was me. It was who I was. I sabotaged everything in my life and always would. Because who could ever love a piece of shit like me? Not Sirena Lawrence, the girl I’d broken, that was for sure.

How I’d wished I were a better man and had run back to save her. She’d trusted me, and I’d betrayed her. I’d betrayed my family.

It was over now though. All of it. She’d never be mine. Never be ours. Asylum would make sure of it. That much I knew.

“She’s not mine,” I said softly. “She never was and never will be.”

She was a siren, screaming my sins. They just didn’t know it yet.

Sinful. That was me. A disgusting fucking sinner. She’d named me well. The man who’d tricked her and locked her up with the devil. I was truly sinful. It just made me hate myself even more. I deserved this hell. Sinners got punished, and I wouldn’t be an exception.

I knew he was fighting his own demons, and the last thing we needed was to be angry with one another.

“She doesn’t get a choice. It wasn’t part of the original agreement,” Seth interjected. “The deal was whoever could make her scream. We did. It was us. I won. I’m not going to argue the fact though. I’m simply giving you the courtesy of knowing that I’m claiming my prize.”

OMG makes me so angry!!!

What the fuck is the matter with you? Why do you hate being happy?” Stitches was shouting now.

“Fine. Tomorrow night—” I started, ready to give him further instructions. “At seven. You’ll text me if anything changes. Meet you on the back patio,” he finished for me, making me crinkle my brows. “Uh, yeah,” I said, confused about how he knew exactly what I was going to say. Maybe it was a coincidence.

“Why are you like this? You know you’re fucked in your feelings over this shit, and yet you continue to deny it. Let fucking go so you can feel something besides anger,” Church said.

“So I can be broken like you three? I told you it was a bad idea. I wasn’t wrong. I don’t want to hurt the way you guys are. I-I refuse. Not after what Isabella did—”

“You have a chance to try again with someone new. Someone better. And you’re fucking it up like you always do. Get your shit together or get fucking lost.” Church stormed past him without another word.

He was quiet for so long I didn’t think he’d say anything. When he finally spoke, it took me by surprise. “I only wanted to save you guys from this. That’s all. It’s killing me inside to see you all barely hanging on. I tried to. . . fix it. But I fucked everything up.” I frowned. “What are you talking about? Just relax, man.” He shook his head. “I can’t. I don’t know how to make this right. It’s killing me inside. And siren. . .fuck.” His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. “I’m sorry, man. I truly am.” He didn’t elaborate past that. Instead, he strode in the direction of our place, his head down.

Sirena was what my soul needed. She came into my life at the right time.

“Sin has trouble forming relationships. He’s desperate to, but he’s also scared. His illness and his past experiences can create many issues for him. He’s getting better though.”

Her words were so fierce they sent shivers through my body.

I’d kill the son of a bitch if he touched my heaven. I wouldn’t hesitate. Violence wasn’t my thing. It was reserved more for the other watchers, but when it came to my heaven, I’d burn the fucking world down in her name.

“I’d die to save her,” I said immediately. “We all would.”

We all did crazy things to protect those we loved. Cadence Lawrence would be no exception when it came to Sirena. I knew it right down to my bones.

“How do you do that?” he asked, crinkling his dark brows at me. “Do what?” I slid my feet into my shoes. “Know what I’m going to say?” “You always ask me that,” I pointed out. “And my answer is?” I strode to my door with him following. We stepped into the hall, and the door clicked and locked behind us. “That you just do what the voices tell you to.” He rolled his eyes, making me smirk.