Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

by Nedra Glover Tawwab

weight issues are often a symptom of the mental and emotional health issues they

poor self-care is an issue with boundaries.

If children receive the message “I cannot say no,” then they will struggle with saying it.

are all equal to communicating that saying no is not okay.

We can be traumatized by what we observe someone else experience. For

When people are unaware that this type of treatment is wrong, they may view abuse as an expected part of a relationship.

meeting the emotional needs of a parent is not a job for a child.

To figure things out without emotional support. To be responsible for bills when you were a kid.

Kids’ boundaries are violated when kids are placed into adult roles

you’re proactive about it, you won’t have to reach a breaking point.

Not being liked by everyone is a small consequence when you consider the overall reward of healthier relationships.

inviting.

their worst fear is being disliked, on top of the fear of being mean or rude.

You can’t control how your request is received,

but you can choose to behave in a healthy way afterward.

Staying consistent is essential if you want others to adhere to your boundaries.

being told no is healthy. It’s likely an indication that the other person has healthy boundaries.

Allow people to have a response before you presume how they will feel.

hard doesn’t equal impossible. The hardest thing can be overcoming your belief that the process is complicated.

When you try to push through a painful experience without feeling your emotions, you prolong the journey of recovery.

no. Coping with discomfort is a part of the process of establishing a boundary.

reframe the way you think

Don’t betray yourself to please others.

when you get into the rhythm of consistently setting them.

Alex’s friends were overwhelmed by her constant need for connection and feedback about her

violating other people’s boundaries.

To her, relationships meant closeness, and to be close, you had to talk often, disclose everything, and ...

She had to learn how to relay the details of her life appropriately and at a reasonable pace.

Holding someone’s hand in public when they’ve made it clear they’re

uncomfortable with public displays of affection

“I’m not comfortable with public displays of affection/PDAs.

As your needs in life change, your expectations in your relationships will shift as well.

“Your comments about my appearance make me feel uncomfortable.”

“Your comment isn’t funny; it’s sexually inappropriate.”

You’re free to have an opinion about anything you want.

when you express your opinion, your words shouldn’t be dismissed, belittled, or ridiculed.

staying mindful of what topics are appropriate versus inappropriate i...

Although the information was truthful, it wasn’t appropriate

Demeaning a child’s mother/father in front of a child

“You can disagree without being mean or rude.”

“I won’t talk to you if you keep raising your voice.” “That was a mean joke; I’m offended.” “I just said something, and you dismissed me. Why?”

when someone belittles your emotions or invalidates your feelings, they are violating your emotional boundaries.

Seeking validation,

Because her emotional boundaries had been violated,

She didn’t trust herself without feedback fro...

you express your feelings and personal information to...

not all a...

This also means you share only when it’s appropriate, and you choose your...

Pushing someone to share information they aren’t comfortable sharing

Telling people how to feel, such as “You shouldn’t be sad about that”