If We Were Us

by K.L. Walther

His eyes darted around behind tortoiseshell glasses.

So literally James Potter

“You and Charlie freak people out,” Nick once told me. “You guys are like sunshine on steroids.”

“Yeah, okay,” I sighed. “Love you.” “I’m aware,” he chirped, already starting to walk away.

“And I love you, Sagey Baby!”

Sometimes I studied, sometimes I watched Netflix, and sometimes I took naps.

Me in school fr

Not in a super noticeable way, but just slightly—and it was kind of adorable.

I did my best to ignore the flicker I felt every time he took a step. It wasn’t working.

“Ah, I see,” Luke said. “Rapunzel is indeed a princess, but”—he looked up from his phone and caught my eye—“she is not Prince Charming’s love interest.”

We have a tight schedule.” “Do I get any clues?” The girls and I shook our heads. “Carmichael?” he asked, turning toward Charlie. “Just go with it, Morrissey,” Charlie advised. “It’s best to just go with it.”

was Nicholas Carmichael. Once again, I felt that ripple. New, a little strange, but full of excitement.

And if you look over there, you can see Andromeda.”

His finger traced out the constellation. I smiled in the darkness. Nick considered himself an astronomer of sorts, reading books and obsessed with some stargazing app on his phone.

OMG CUTIE

I’d downloaded the same app.

But then my ice broke, that first crack rippling through me. Because somehow the other half could imagine it—kissing him. Just once, I’d told myself. Just once, to see what it’s like.

Nick suddenly taking my face in his hands and kissing me. And just like that, it felt like back at the bonfire.

all-consuming.

I loved that dimple.

“Because I think we could be really good.” He squeezed my hand. “You know, good together. I’ve always thought so, but I’ve never had the nerve to say it…”

“We’d need to keep it a secret,”

Noooo

“A secret?” Nick gave me a look, eyebrows furrowed. “Why?”

I kissed Nick and Nick kissed me, kissed me so senseless that I had to cling to his arm when we headed back toward main campus. All around me there were stars, but I didn’t think half of them could be seen by anyone else.

and outsiders only gained inside access if they knew the password. This week’s was “Andromeda.”

Then I’d stared at my screen until Luke finally buzzed in, a text just to me: You’re an IDIOT. Mission accomplished.

Awwww

but only one I wanted to read.

“Guy stuff,” I answered as Nina slipped her legs off Luke’s lap. “Something to get—” He was wearing my clothes. I hadn’t noticed it at first, with Nina draped all over him, but Luke was wearing my clothes. I’d recognize the T-shirt anywhere:

I suddenly wished I hadn’t turned the lights on; it was a thousand degrees and I felt sort of dizzy. Get it together, I blinked. Ignore it.

pray tell?”

Pray tell is crazy

Luke laughed, and our shoulders brushed—I hadn’t realized how close we were walking.

and we brushed shoulders again, having somehow moved back together. My legs went a little weak, so I couldn’t step away this time.

“I’m assuming you mean the ramekins?” I smirked at him, but sort of shuddered inside. “Sure.”

I like the glasses better, I wanted to tell him.

No such luck—there was never any such luck.

“No, I don’t have acrophobia,”

Nerd alert

I smiled. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re kind of a smart-ass?” “Not today.”

“Family friend.” I turned my head so I could look at him, and a chill ran up my spine when I did—he was already looking at me.

“It’s fine. I’ve actually”—I bit the inside of my cheek—“never brought anyone up here before.”

Now I cleared my throat and said, “I love her madly, but not in that way.” “Well,” Luke murmured, “you might want to tell people that.”

“So you kissed him,” he said. “You kissed Nicky.”

“I mean, man…” Charlie went on, slugging more whiskey. “You’ve got him hooked now. I know when Knickknack’s hooked.” He waved a frenetic hand toward Nick, who was watching us from across the fire, and then Charlie stepped closer, so drunk his blue eyes were crossed. But his voice was so low and dark that it was like he was staring straight at me. “Don’t hurt him, Sage. Don’t hurt my brother. Don’t touch his heart.”

DAYUMM

“Oh, Morrissey!” he called back. “Counting the seconds until you see me, are you?” He wavered. Charlie never wavered.

I was suddenly very aware that I hadn’t let go of his arm yet.

Because the Buck Building was for history, and I had French. French was in Knowles Hall. Eight minutes in the opposite direction. And class started in three.

Because I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

I felt him take half a step closer to me, the backs of his fingers brushing against mine.

It didn’t matter, though. Because deep down, buried beneath all the better as friends and it’s not you, it’s me bullshit, I knew the truth…or at least suspected.

My heart was trying to make a break from my chest. Relax, I told myself.

Two seconds later, his legs were draped across my lap. I situated my MacBook on his shins and then tried to seem really interested in my Twitter feed to disguise the fact that I was sneaking way too many peeks at him, to figure out if he was as on edge as I was.

This is criminal

but not before putting my hand on his knee. When he didn’t wake up, I left it there.

“Legit,” I said, a lesser-known synonym for super cute.

Sage. I knew he was really talking about Sage.