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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
David Deida
The nature of nature is polarity, from the magnetism that flows between the North and South Poles of the Earth, to the attraction that flows between your masculine core and the feminine radiance of a woman.
If you feel uncomfortable with your attraction to women, you are probably uncomfortable with your own masculine essence.
Eventually you will recognize that all desire is an aspect of your native impulse to give love. From beginning to end, your attraction to women can be seen as the essential gesture of your heart, your desire for love and unity.
Remember, the desire she arouses in you is a blessing in itself. Acting on that desire and pursuing her is another matter entirely, dependent on whether such an action would truly serve both of you or not.
Learn to magnify and sustain your desire, so your whole body and breath open and deepen by its force. As you behold her, receive her vision as a blessing.
This is the beauty of the feminine; to her, the masculine grid of words and events is less relevant than the fluidity of relationship and feeling.
Feminine women may seem wild, untrustable, or even irresponsible from a man’s perspective, but such women are simply free of the masculine need to live in a world governed by reason and control.
Feminine women are free to feel flows of natural livingness that you are unable to feel. They are free to be moved by currents of energy of which most men are unaware.
However, in cultures that admit a greater degree of spiritual revelation, women’s bodies are viewed with the same masculine awe, but for a different kind of expression: not merely for their capacity to express sexual ecstasy in a way that is foreign, and unbelievably attractive, but also for their capacity to express spiritual ecstasy.
Whether in a strip joint or a sacred temple, men have been attracted for thousands of years to witness the feminine embodiment of ecstasy.
Men leave such an event transformed and inspired by the blessing power of free feminine embodiment. This is one of the unique gifts of the feminine form, of woman.
You will only be happy in intimacy if you choose a woman who is your sexual reciprocal as a partner.
And you will only be able to survive such an intimacy if her dark and light sides are equally embraceable to you.
Your woman has the capacity to awaken your heart and fill your body with life. You, however, must give her the opportunity—as well as the fullness of your masculine transmission of love.
Your desire for other women is not a reflection of any lack in your intimacy, it is a reflection of your nature as a masculine sexual being.
Desire springs from many sources, such as your addictions, your biological heritage, your childhood conditioning, and your open heart. To live a life of impeccable integrity, you must discriminate the source of your desire, so you know when to discipline your behavior for everyone’s benefit, including yours.
Self-discipline is when your highest desires rule your lesser desires, not through resistance, but through loving action grounded in understanding and compassion.
If sexual desire arises, fine. Circulate it through your body. Learn to conduct the magnification of desire without needing to throw it off in a spasm of release.
major part of mastering sexuality is learning to sustain greater and greater degrees of pleasure and desire in the body, without needing to rid yourself of the force because you can’t handle it.
The priority of the masculine core is mission, purpose, or direction in life. The priority of the feminine core is the flow of love in intimacy.
A somewhat quiet and sensitive man was learning sexual yoga. In this yoga it is important to learn to bypass ejaculation, circulating the stimulated energy through the body and heart in a kind of whole body orgasm, rather than losing energy in a spasm of ejaculative release.
When she complains about financial issues, she is usually feeling a lack in your masculine capacity to direct your life with clarity, purpose, integrity, and wisdom.
If you were poor but totally conscious, happy, full of integrity, fearless, humorous, loving, and giving your fullest gift to the world and to your woman, she wouldn’t complain about lack of money.
Your word is a demonstration of your purpose, of your masculine core.
Over time, she will begin to build up her own masculine protection against your lack of integrity.
At the level of polarity, you are attracted to and enlivened by her feminine radiance. Likewise, at the level of polarity, she is attracted to and relaxed by your masculine clarity, direction, integrity, and presence.
She is revealing your unconscious habits that prevent your fullest awakening in consciousness. Your unconsciousness causes her pain. She won’t say it that way, but that’s what she is indicating.
Hear her complaint as the universe giving you signs about your life. Is watching TV right now the best way to use the moment? Sometimes you need the recreation, but sometimes you are just being lazy, trying to forget the responsibilities you have created in your life.
Try to do your best to determine which of her “problems” are actually exquisitely sensitive bodily feedback to the way you are living your life. You know the amount of bullshit you are kidding yourself with. So does she. It just hurts her more than it does you.
A woman really wants her man to be totally dedicated to his highest purpose—and also to love her fully.
Although she would never admit it, she wants to feel that her man would be willing to sacrifice their relationship for the sake of his highest purpose.
Although your woman seems to want to be the most important thing in your life, she actually can trust and love you more if she is not.
If a woman has become the point of your life, you are lost. You have a gift to give, a purpose to fulfill, a deep heart-impulse that moves you. If you have lost touch with this impulse, then you will begin to feel ambiguous in your life.
If you are always watching TV, reading magazines, or gambling, your woman will feel your trivialization of life. She will feel you settling for less, and will resent the frivolity of your will.
But, for the feminine, the past is entirely irrelevant. One wrong word in the midst of a five hour lovemaking session that was otherwise perfect could collapse your woman as completely as if you had spent two hours making mistakes.
If you want your woman to be able to relax into her feminine and shine her natural radiance, then you must relieve her of the necessity to be in charge.
The more ambiguous you seem, financially and spiritually, the more she will need to pour her energy and attention into her own masculine direction and goals.
You become more responsible by knowing your deepest purpose, and then arranging your finances and spiritual life from that knowingness.
It doesn’t matter if your woman earns more or less money than you—or even if she earns all the money in the relationship. What matters is if she can feel your loving clarity, wisdom, and certainty of direction.
The post-orgasmic state is one of death-like peace, an emptiness akin to a blissful oblivion. The masculine is always seeking this release in one way or another.
This breakthrough into freedom, however it occurs, is the main motive of the masculine.
All masculine goals—at work, on the meditation cushion, or on the football field—are directed toward more freedom.
The same capacity to face death is necessary for spiritual freedom. To live free in spirit, you must be willing to face your fears and let go of anything that limits your love.
Then, you can enjoy the lesser forms of masculine ecstasy, but dedicate yourself to its highest form: transcendence of the fear of death by facing the limiting stress of your own self-sense, and relaxing through it, into the absolute freedom you have always intuited at your core, but sought through only temporary means.
The feminine seeks fullness and abhors emptiness. She will fill her empty shelves with knickknacks, seashells, and pebbles collected from special places.
In the end, the feminine search for love and the masculine search for freedom reach the same destination: the unbounded and infinite ground of being who you are, which is both absolute love and freedom.
The desire to ravish is the sexual aspect of the same masculine desire that wants to break through opponents on a basketball court, break through philosophical barriers to intellectual insight, or break through the fear of death into spiritual freedom.
Sexual energy is at the root of your bodily force of life, and your relationship to ravishment reveals your relationship to life altogether.
Feel through not only your boundaries, but also her boundaries, so that you are both dissolved in the immense force of your loving. Relax into the force of love so completely that only love remains.
In the midst of this self-yielding and giving of love, allow your entire masculine desire to manifest, dark and light. Do and be everything you ever wanted with her, in love, spontaneously, and with deep feeling into her and through her.
