The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
The mark of a true classic is that it becomes more relevant with the passage of time Twenty years ago, David Deida wrote The Way of the Superior Man share lessons on “how a man can grow spiritually while passionately tussling with the challenges of women, work, and sexual desire,” Today, men of all ages continue to struggle with these universal challenges, and the pract
There are so many lessons from this book. These are my top 3 takea ...more
First, let me say I completely understand why serious feminists get their panties in a bunch over this book: the language is definitely not politically correct (the constant use of "your woman" rubbed me the wrong way at first, and he uses words like "pussywhipped" every once in a while). It's also possible to interpret some of his statements as discouraging women to have a career, life goals, a ...more
As others have pointed out, Deida has no real professional credentials to fall back on, and his official bio is vague. From what I’ve gathered he has no PhD or PsyD or any other type of doct ...more
If you're curious about this book, read this book.
If you strongly dislike charismatic people and are slightly jealous that one man can summon so much energy through his research to write a book that doesn't degrade women, focuses on a man finding his passion, discusses the natural polarity of relationships and cuts to the core of one's self definition of manhood - then maybe this book would be more your style: The Game
This is a book for a man (or ...more
most men make the error of thinking that one day it will be done.
Do what you love to do, what you are waiting to do, what you've been born to do, NOW.
Live with an open heart even if it hurts
A free man is free to acknowledge his fears, without hiding them, or hiding from them.Live with your lips pressed against your fear, kissing your fears, neither pulling back nor aggressively violating them.
Never change your mind just to please a woman: you sho ...more
There are grains of truth. At the very least, Deida is offering a new set of models to work from, where our existing models are inadequate. Models which, for many couples, probably come close enough to the truth to be useful. Many men really are primarily driven by t ...more
As a strong, independent woman, I initially scoffed at it, but upon deeper examination I think this book offers a profound challenge to the man who reads it if he's willing to take the philosophy on. The first common misconception seems to be that Deida is calling f ...more
Also, women don't want to be "ravished," for God's sake! I think one of my favorite lines from the book was, "When was the last time you really ravished your woman? Or has it been so long that you are fascinated and even turned on by rape scenes on TV?" Are you kidding me?! This c ...more
At times a bit condescending, and there was some profanity I thought unnecessary, but overall an incredible book.
Giving men an opportunity to be heard, affirmed and admonished by one of their peers. Giving them the sort of challenge that only another man can pose.
His blunt simplicity in tackling the real issues men face when moving into their 'full man strength' - as my girlfriends and I call it - is as educational as it is entertaining.
And just when you are comfortable with this book as an Oprah-era self help tome, all neat and tidy for prime time, Mr ...more
Also, if women were as crazy as David Deida makes them seem I would join MGTOW. He makes relationships sound like an absolute nightmare.
This quote is basically all of chapter nine, but it’s amazing. (The third paragraph is the best one.) Also, ...more
I thought it was funny how the author basically makes it seem like most women are crazy and emotionally unstable. According to him, that's what makes them beautiful. Made me wonder if he knew some of the same girls that I've met.
Like m ...more
There were 5 moments during my reading of this book where I considered stopping. However, it was a short book and I feel that a book should be read entirely to justify a review.
The author sounds like a pubescent teen who is obsessed with sex. He tries to be direct and brash by using vulgar language and I find that immature.
There are some truths in this book but I feel the author read a whole bunch of books on spirituality and is reproducing them here with horrendous delivery ...more
An interesting book with interesting and, I imagine, provocative views on many a thing concerning the masculine and the feminine. But when all is said and done I think much of what the author says is, essentially, true. Not something I would have said two years ago but now, well, now I do;-)
My main problem with the book was the unnecessary ...more
In the constant pursuit of purpose, challenge, and growth, a man must be aware of the energy he constantly gives off.
The energy is directed at the purpose he must find, the challenges he will face, and the femininity of women he must discover an understanding of.
This can be through reading 'The Male Brain' and 'The Female Brain' to understand biological mechanisms of men and women.
Or by fully immersing in 'The Way of the Superior Man' to get a pseudo-spiritual, eastern-an ...more
Uhmm okay? This line is just one of many that represent what most of this book is - pure garble. David Deida tries too hard to sound deep and philosophical, but if you really use your brain and dig deep you'll find that most of it is just nonsense.
This book was a hard read, but I ...more
There are a lot of gems and insights provided by the author which really opened my eyes to intimate relationships.
Ladies, no guy with a ...more
If you take on these disciplines for a few weeks, as well as any other disciplines that may particularly cut through your unique habits of dullness, then your life will be stripped of routine distraction. All that will be left is the edge you have been avoiding by means of your daily routine. You will have to face the basic discomfort and dissatisfaction that is the hidden texture of your life. You will be alive with the challenge of living your truth, rather than hiding form it.
Unadorned suffering is the bedmate of masculine growth. Only by staying intimate with your personal suffering can you feel through it to its source. By putting all your attention into work, TV, sex, and reading, your suffering remains unpenetrated, and the source remains hidden. Your life becomes structured entirely by your favorite means of sidestepping the suffering you rarely allow yourself to feel. And when you do touch the surface of your suffering, perhaps in the form of boredom, you quickly pick up a magazine or the remote control.
Instead, feel your suffering, rest with it, embrace it, make love with it. Feel your suffering so deeply and thoroughly that you penetrate it, and realize its fearful foundation. Almost everything you do, you do because you are afraid to die. And yet dying is exactly what you are doing, from the moment you are born. Two hours of absorption in a good Super Bowl telecast may distract you temporarily, but the fact remains. You were born as a sacrifice. And you can either participate in the sacrifice, dissolving in the giving of your gift, or you can resist it, which is your suffering.
By eliminating the safety net of comforts in your life, you have the opportunity to free fall in this moment between birth and death, right through the hole of your fear, into the unthreatenable openness which is the source of your gifts. The superior man lives as this spontaneous sacrifice of love.”