Leave Me Behind

by K.M. Moronova

“No.” It doesn’t sound at all convincing. I haven’t caught feelings though. I really do hate him.

“And you two look at each other in this way I haven’t seen before. It’s different.”

Like a man I should be drawn to rather than the broken, murderous version of him.

“I’m curious to get to the bottom of you, though. I want to see the darkest things you’re hiding. I want to know why the monsters like you so much.”

“I’d have to bury you if you dug up one of my secrets.”

“You make him trust you, make him need you, and then you take it all away.”

You’re heartless, Gallows. That’s why I’m taking you under my wing. No one gets it quite like you and me.”

“You are a dangerous little thing. Beautiful, but dangerous.”

We were made for each other—molded by darkness itself.

As long as I’m by his side, I will follow him to the grave.

I want to run my thumb over her bottom lip and tell her she makes my chest ache when she looks at me so tenderly. I want to tell her that the nights I laid beside her were the only ones I slept peacefully in fucking years.

I want to tell her that I fucking missed her.

her and the smile has vanished. Why does she remind me of him so much? It makes me angry.

I want to sit with her for a long while. For as long as I can.

Why is she being nice to me? I cut her… I scarred her beautiful body.

I just want her to hold me and continue to brush my hair back from my face. It brings back distant memories of when I was a child, when, for a brief moment under the sun, I was loved.

we’re two wounded creatures, circling one another in our cage, curious about what will happen if we give in and collide.

And for the first time since I lost Abrahm, I feel distinct fear enter my soul. I cannot let her die like he did. I will not survive it.

Something has changed since we arrived. I can feel it even in his posture.

“But I saw raw vulnerability in him today.”

“Yes. He is the only one who doesn’t have the luxury of being human. He’s a heartless killing machine that we need on this next mission. You need to focus on your position on the squad, Bunny. No more messing around. Got it?”

Something is definitely wrong. “Say it,” he commands. “Yes, Sergeant.”

Is Eren keeping us apart on purpose?

The locations will not ping until our boots hit the ground.” There’s an uncomfortable shuffle of feet. We’re going into this almost completely blind. Why?

“Not your concern, Bun,” he whispers. I’ve missed him calling me that so fucking much.

“Bunny. You are to serve as Bones’ double in this mission,”

Something is gravely wrong.

“What’s really going on? Something changed the night we got back from the last training. Tell me. You can’t expect to keep us in the dark and have this plan go smoothly.”

The bullet he was hit with was unlike the rest in the raid. It was a bullet meant for Bones.” His fists curl with fury and he gives his brother a remorseful glance. “What kind of bullet?” I ask, brows pinching. A black one. Eren stares at me for a beat before answering, “A black one.”

Even if he doesn’t know which of his comrades has done this to him, he’s lost his faith in all of them… and with the black bullet knowledge, I think he’s even lost faith in me.

“Don’t talk back to your sergeant, Nell. You think I’d put my own brother in jeopardy?”

“Traitors can be put down in two ways. In prison, fifty years after the crime, or when they choose to betray their comrades.”

I guess I’m his shadow now. A living bullet proof vest like Abrahm was. Somehow, that doesn’t scare me. I welcome the noble death, but curiosity and revenge throb through my veins too.

Rats never seem to remember that snakes are hiding in the bird’s nest too.

It’s my fault. They were trying to shoot me, not him.

Was she the Riøt soldier that took the shot?

“This is the only way I can keep you safe. Just stick by her side and you’ll be fine, okay?” I know him too well. He’s keeping something from me.

She’s the insurance, Bradshaw.”

“Keep your enemies closer.”

“Is that why you had her stay so close and snug in your room?” “Why else?”

If you knew about the black bullet, you would’ve killed her the first night.” My chest fills with unease because he’s not wrong.

How could something so gentle and soft be as lethal as me?

My eyes shift down to her hands. They are small and scarred, but flesh colored—not a harrowing red like I’d expect to see when I look at the reaper’s hands.

She’s so lovely and the idea of ruining her in any capacity bothers me. Sleep my bunny, your next breath is not promised.

The voice belongs to Jobs this time. I stare at Bradshaw. Can he really not hear the two different voices?

The blood in my ears roars loudly and my gut tells me something awful is about to happen. “Those were two different peo⁠—”

“I don’t trust you, Bunny. Pull something like that again and I’ll cut your throat myself.”

“I think you’re trying to keep the squad split up, which is a dead ringer for a conspirator.”

found your rat.” She killed Ian? No. She’s fucking bluffing.

If I’m going to die today, it will only be at your hands.”