Leave Me Behind

by K.M. Moronova

That sometimes even I need a break from being a muzzled beast?

She’ll never know him like I did. She’ll never see how his smile was so like hers. How his stubbornness wore into me the way she does.

“He was…” I try to find the right words. “He was my peace.”

Irrationally, I feel jealous that she still loves a dead man. I don’t want her to feel that way for anyone… Though, I guess it’d be okay if she felt that way about me.

Riøt or not. I can’t deny that I care about her and that thought scares the shit out of me.

She’s too easy to talk to. If I’m not careful I’d tell her all my secrets, hopes, and dreams. I’d tell her everything.

She might think I broke her tonight, but it’s she who has broken me.

anything I once wanted to be seems so senseless now. My perception of the world has changed. But, yes, I suppose there was one thing that I dreamt of once.

Then I watched as they raped my mom. They put a bullet through her head when they were done and then I was next.”

“The second I was untied I tore a man’s throat open with my bare hands.

“I think the worst part was that I liked it,” I mutter to see what his features will betray. “Fuck… you really are like Bones. He’s a monster too.”

one normal and one insane.

“He’s never been this⁠—” “Unhinged?” I interrupt. “Cruel?” Eren glances down at me beneath those black lashes and his frown is replaced with amusement. “Yeah. He’s never been this interested with his second.”

I knew all his soft touches yesterday were empty, but his cruelness still hurts.

Abrahm. How is it that the death of one man can change the lives of so many? “What would your predicament have been?”

“Patagonia was our last mission before we were to earn our cards.”

“This next mission is more than earning our cards, Nell. It’s revenge. For Bones, especially. I can’t get into the details, but we both know it ties in with Patagonia.”

The monster that lurks beneath my betraying features.

reaper in me wants to break him as much as he’s sought to destroy me.

I like the way broken men grieve.

What could the sergeant of Malum possibly have weighing on his conscience?

He’s trying to push me back into society. He’s trying to nice-guy me into quitting. Does he feel guilty about it? My stomach sinks.

“Easy killer, it’s just your favorite fuck boy.”

“Because, have you ever had the chance to put a little rodent in the middle of the ocean and watch it squirm?”

Maybe if I hadn’t watched two children get eaten alive by sharks when I was a kid, I wouldn’t be so afraid of them.

but instead of anger or wrath, I only catch a glimpse of amusement before he disappears beneath the surface. Oh fuck, what have I done?

He’s going to drown me here, this is it for me. His words replay in my head. “The only good Riøt soldier is a dead one.”

Hes flirting

“Hey, hey. Calm down, Bun,” Bradshaw says gently, sounding genuinely concerned. He spins me in the water so our noses are pressed together.

“You’re really that scared?” His voice is thick with remorse.

“I come out here every chance I get. Eren knows that.” Of course Eren knows. Is this his way of trying to get us to make peace with each other?

“Are you upset because I didn’t show you affection both mornings after I fucked you? You’re delusional if you think you’re anything other than a good looking, average soldier. I just used you for what I wanted in the moment. That’s all.”

Rude

“I don’t hate you.”

“I want to dominate you. I want to break you into a million pieces and make you answer only to me. I want to keep you as far away from my squad as possible before I ruin what’s left of you. Because if you don’t leave, that’s what’s going to happen. I’ll break you, just like I break everything. Is that enough? Will you shut the fuck up now?”

I told you your fear was stupid. You haven’t thought about it once since I tipped us over.”

He did that on purpose… He’s fucking with my mind on a whole new level now. Taking my fears from me too?

Ah, wait. Eren isn’t into rodents… or lago-whatever-sluts.”

“Me? Jealous over a slut? Yeah, keep dreaming.”

“I’m incapable of feeling things as petty as hatred, but if I could, I’d loathe you most. I thought we already hashed this out in the water, baby.”

“Let me show you the kinky shit I’m into.”

“I think you’re the first woman to spit in my face and bite my lips in the same day,”

That’s also why we’re so drawn to each other, because we’re both toxic and cruel.

“Oh, Bunny, you sick little thing. Tell me you aren’t into this too. The pain kink was already catching my heartstrings, but this? This makes me want to brand you as mine.”

“Such a pretty mouth is wasted on you,”

“First you’re fighting, then hurting each other.”

“And now you two are… what the fuck even is this? Are you fucking now?”

“This. This is exactly what I’m talking about. What the fuck is wrong with you, Bradshaw? I’ve never seen you act this… this…” Eren’s voice trails off and pain spreads across his face. “Go ahead. Say it.” Bradshaw stares at him emptily. “Psychotic! You’re acting like a fucking animal.

Is this why I’m drawn to him? Because he’s… like me. A prolonged, shitty ending.

“Need help, or are you going to take care of it yourself?”

“You’re not going to be weird after?”

Wow ok maybe she is a sloot

“Aw, Nell. Did you catch feelings for my brother?”