Leave Me Behind

by K.M. Moronova

“The coffee shop, Bun. Tell me about it,” he whispers drowsily. I smile. “Well, it wouldn’t just be a coffee shop.” “Oh?” “Yeah, it would be a bookstore too. And my husband and I would live on the top floor.”

for family but fearing it because of the way I am. It’d be impossible. He chuckles sadly. “I wasn’t.” His voice has an implying lilt. Bradshaw shifts to his side so he’s facing me. “But after you… I feel lonely whenever you’re not around.”

“And I want you to punish me until you can forgive me for what I’ve done to you. For everything. I want you to make your mark on me, Bunny. Punish me so I can forgive me,”

“You are where my sanity starts,” he murmurs gravely, his jaw setting and brows knitting. He hates to admit these things to me—that much is obvious. But it warms my chest that he shares it with me anyway. “You are where mine ends,”

I love you. I shouldn’t, but I do.

Who is targeting the dark forces? Eren knows, yet he won’t even tell Bradshaw.

Fuck, Bunny, you make me so goddamn crazy.”

Maybe I’m no longer useful now that I’ve been captured. What use are weapons once dulled?

Why won’t he fucking look at me? It dawns on me finally. It’s guilt. He knows who’s in charge, he knows what’s going to happen to us.

It’s my fault we’re here.

I know who I’m looking for. The real question is if he’ll come out to play.

She stares at me, confused mostly, but her eyes tell me she knows I’ve had a hand in this. The betrayal in the set of her brow pierces straight through me. She slowly rises and walks to him.

The captain will never let us go. Never let her go.

His eyes widen as he recognizes me.

He taught me everything. His thoughts are my thoughts.

Jenkins is the leader of the Ghosts.

“Rescue the Hades Squad? They joined of their own volition. Why the fuck would they rather be imprisoned to the dark forces than be a part of something so much bigger?

He killed our squad. He planned for me to die there with them.

“I knew you couldn’t, even if you knew I was going to throw you away like trash. You were always foolishly loyal until the end.”

“But in the end, it was me who was the fool. I loved you more than I could stand. I still do.”

living. Looking at him now, I can’t remember why I cherished him so much. Maybe it’s because of Bradshaw… because I bonded with a new squad and felt what affection could be with someone else like me.

We get paid an ungodly amount of money.

But guess who ruined that for me? For all of us? Eren Bright. He wanted a bigger slice of the pie, selfish motherfucker.

I ordered his brother to be picked off. An eye for an eye.”

He wanted to use you as a body shield for his stupid brother.

As long as I kept you by my side, you didn’t care about anything.”

“All those ‘traitors’ that I killed, were any of them actually guilty?”

My own personal little reaper.

I don’t think Bradshaw will leave unless I break his heart. Unless I make Jenkins see the misery he’ll leave with.

“How could I refuse such a sweet request from my darling? Should we properly break his heart before we send him off? I know he thinks he loves you, but he doesn’t know the real you. The monster that I know.”

Deep down, I know I will always love Jenkins.

But I’m relieved he’ll spare them. I’ll stay here in hell with him—my evil one.

He’s going to be the last thought I have when I die.

I love him… I love him, and I’m never going to tell him that. He won’t stay away if I do.

“There is no life without you. There wasn’t one before, there sure as fuck won’t be one after,” he whispers. His eyes narrow with misery. “I love you, Bunny.”

“Leave me behind, Bradshaw.”

Bradshaw left without looking back, taking what was left of my heart with him.

“You’ve never looked at me the way you look at him. Not once.”

“My love is enough for the both of us. As long as you know you are my world, it is enough.”

Fuck him. He used her.

Deep down I think Jenkins knows I might entertain the idea of leaving if I had the opportunity. But I don’t mind my life with Jenkins. Our nights are warm and the days are peaceful.

Our love is old, harrowing and rotten to the core, but it is ours.

Funny how they’ve swapped places.

never left, Bun. My heart and every thought have been here with you all this time. If that makes me a fool, then I don’t give a fuck. There’s no me without you.” He pulls his

“It’s the monster in me,” I manage to say between hushed moans. His brow raises. “That craves the one in you.”

He leans into it and shuts his eyes. I feel like I need to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. But he’s really here.

I’ve moved mountains to rescue her.

“Was he good to you?” I can’t look her in the eyes as I ask. Guilt has been my friend for three terrible years. She kisses my cheek and forces my chin to face her. “He treated me like a queen. I never wanted for anything.” Oh. Am I too late… “Anything but for you. I could never love him like I do you, Bradshaw. He was good to me… but he isn’t you.”

“Are you sure? I don’t have these luxuries to offer you, Bun. I can’t fly you to London and Italy on a whim and drown you with expensive wines. In fact, I’m not even sure I can offer much more than a warm place to lie down at night.”

time. Sometimes from binoculars or across the room. Other times from surveillance. I’ve been with you. Each starlit walk you took with him, every small look over your shoulder waiting for someone. For me. I was there. I never left you behind.” Her eyes brim with tears and it’s enough to make me crumble.

I watched him fuck her many times.