Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender (Power vs. Force, #9)

by David R. Hawkins

There is a simple way to become conscious of the underlying emotional goal behind any activity through use of the question, “What for?” With each answer, “What for?” is asked again and again until the basic feeling is uncovered. An example would be the following.

“What do I want the Cadillac for?” “Well,” he says, “it is to achieve status, recognition, respect, and solid citizen success status.” Again: “What do I want status for?” “Respect and approval from others,” he might say, “and to ensure that respect.” Again: “What do I want respect and approval for?” “To have the feeling of security.” Again: “What do I want security for?” “To feel happy.” The continual question, “What for?,” reveals that basically there are feelings of insecurity, unhappiness, and lack of fulfillment. Every activity or desire will reveal that the basic goal is to achieve a certain feeling.

There are no other goals than to overcome fear and achieve happiness. Emotions are connected with what we believe will ensure our survival, not with what actually will. Emotions themselves are actually the cause of the basic fear that drives everyone to seek security constantly.

Power vs. Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior (Hawkins, [1995], 2012).

Briefly, everything emits energy, either positive or negative. Intuitively, we know the difference between a positive person (friendly, genuine, considerate) and a negative one (greedy, deceitful, hateful). The energy of Mother Teresa was obviously different from the energy of Adolf Hitler; most people’s energy is somewhere in between the two.

“Like goes to like.” The different energies constellate in “attractor patterns” or “levels of consciousness.” The Map of Consciousness (see Appendix A) provides a linear, logarithmic view of this nonlinear energetic terrain.

The level of Shame (20) is at the bottom, close to death, representing bare survival.

The level of Courage (200) is the critical point that marks the shift from negative to positive energy. It is the energy of integrity, being truthful, empowerment, and having the capacity to cope. The levels of consciousness below Courage are destructive, whereas the levels above it are life-supportive.

Here, we delineate the basic scale, starting from the higher energies down to the lower:

Peace (600): This is experienced as perfection, bliss, effortlessness, and oneness.

Joy (540): Love that is unconditional and unchanging, despite circumstances and actions of others.

Love (500): A way of being that is forgiving, nurturing, and supportive. It does not proceed from the mind; rather, it emanates from the heart.

Reason (400): This aspect differentiates humans from the animal world. There is the ability to see things in the abstract, to conceptualize, to be objective, and to make rapid and correct decisions.

Acceptance (350): This energy is easy-going, laid back, harmonious, flexible, inclusive, and free of inner resistance. “Life is good. You and I are good. I feel connected.”

Willingness (310): This energy subserves survival by virtue of a positive attitude that welcomes all expressions of life. It is friendly, helpful, wants to assist, and seeks to be of service. Neutrality (250): This is a way of life that is comfortable, pragmatic, and relatively free of emotionality. “It’s okay either way.” It is free of rigid positions, nonjudgmental, and noncompetitive. Courage (200): This energy says, “I can do it.” It is determined, excited about life, productive, independent, and self-empowered. Effective action is possible. Pride (175): “My way is the best way,” says this level. Its focus is achievement, desire for recognition, specialness, and perfectionism. It feels “better than … ” and superior to others.

Anger (150): This energy overcomes the source of fear by force, threats, and attack. It is irritable, explosive, bitter, volatile, and resentful. It likes to “get even,” as in “I’ll show you.” Desire (125): It is always seeking gain, acquisition, pleasure, and “getting” something outside oneself. It is insatiable, never satisfied, and craving. “I have to have it.” “Give me what I want, and give it to me now!” Fear (100): This energy sees “danger,” which is “everywhere.” It is avoidant, defensive, preoccupied with security, possessive of others, jealous, restless, anxious, and vigilant. Grief (75): There is helplessness, despair, loss, regret, and the feeling, “If only I had … ” Separation. Depression. Sadness. Being a “loser.” Mournful, as in “I can’t go on.”

Apathy (50): This energy is characterized by hopelessness, playing dead, being a “drain” to others, being immobilized, and the feelings: “I can’t” and “Who cares?” Poverty is common. Guilt (30): In this energy field, one wants to punish and be punished. It leads to self-rejection, masochism, remorse, “feeling bad,” and self-sabotage. “It’s all my fault.” Accident-proneness, suicidal behavior, and projection of self-hatred onto “evil” others are common. It is the basis of many psychosomatic illnesses. Shame (20): Characterized by humiliation, as in “hang...

As we let go of negative feelings, there is a progressive movement up the scale to Courage and then beyond, with increasing effectiveness, success, and more effortless abundance. We tend to seek out such people. We say they are “high.” They give off life energy to all living things around them. Animals are attracted to them.

At the level of Courage, the negative feelings have not all disappeared, but now we have sufficient energy to handle them because we’ve re-owned our

The energy levels are also traditionally associated with the body energy centers that are sometimes referred to as “chakras.” The chakras are energy centers through which “kundalini energy” is said to flow, once it is awakened at the level of Courage (200).

negative emotion throws off the energy balance of its associated acupuncture meridian and related organ. For instance, depression, despair, and melancholy are associated with the liver meridian, so these emotions tend to interfere with liver function. Every negative feeling impairs a body organ and, as the years go by, that organ becomes diseased and eventually fails to function.

All lower emotions are limitations and blind us to the reality of our true Self. As we surrender our way up the scale and near the top, a new type of experience begins to happen. At the very top of the scale, there occurs the realization of one’s true Self and the varying levels of Illumination.

According to scientific findings, all thoughts are filed in the mind’s memory bank under a filing system based upon the associated feeling and its finer gradations (Gray–LaViolette, 1982). They are filed according to feeling tone, not fact. Consequently, there is a scientific basis for the observation that self-awareness is increased much more rapidly by observing feelings rather than thoughts.

And then one begins to empty out the energy of the feeling directly by letting it be what it is until it runs out. Somewhat later, the former thoughts can now be looked at and their character will be observed to have changed. If the feeling has been totally surrendered and let go, usually all thoughts associated with it will have disappeared entirely and been replaced by a concluding thought which handles the matter quickly.

separated from someone he dearly loved. There was also an associated fear of loss of the relationship, or at least the weakening of it due to his absence. As he let go of the grief and the associated fear, he suddenly felt at peace about the matter. He also concluded that if the relationship couldn’t handle a two-week absence, it wasn’t worth all that much anyway; so, there was really nothing at risk. As soon as he felt at peace, he instantly remembered where the passport was. In fact, it was in a place so simple and obvious that only unconscious blocking could explain why he had not remembered it. Needless to say, all of the thousands of thoughts about the missing passport, the failed trip and the potential consequences instantly disappeared. His emotional state became one of gratitude and happiness instead of frustration.

Recall the usual mechanisms that the mind consciously uses to handle emotions, which are suppression (or repression), expression, and escape. These are deleterious only when they are used without conscious intent.

The emotion can be reduced in intensity by sharing the feeling with close friends or mentors. By merely expressing the feeling, some of the energy behind it is reduced. It is also alright in this circumstance consciously to utilize escape mechanisms, such as going out in a social situation to get some distance from the upset, playing with the dog, watching television, going to the movies, playing music, making love, or whatever one’s habit is under the circumstances.

To illustrate this point, let’s take the example of a man who loses his job after many years with a company, and is now in an overwhelm of despair. By utilizing the three mechanisms already described, some of the emotion can be reduced. What he can look at, then, are some of the small trivia about the job. For instance, could he let go of wanting to have lunch where he always had lunch with his business colleagues? Could he let go of wanting to park his car in the parking space he always had in the past? Could he let go of wanting to ride up in the same elevator? Could he let go of the attachment to his desk? Could he let go of the attachment to the secretary and her friendliness toward him? Could he let go of the attachment to his computer? Could he let go of seeing the same boss every day? Could he let go of his feeling of familiarity with the background noises in the office?

The purpose of surrendering these smaller aspects of losing a job, which may seem trivial, is that it gets the mind into the letting go mode.

that we have the courage to face the situation, recognize our feelings, and do something about them. As the trivia are surrendered, curiously, the main event becomes less and less oppressive. The reason for the phenomenon is that, when we use the mechanism of surrender on one emotion, we are surrendering on all emotions at the same time.

After utilizing the above four methods (suppression, expression, escape, surrender of smaller aspects), a fifth now becomes apparent. Every strong emotion is really a composite of a number of subsidiary emotions and the total emotional complex can be disassembled. Thus, for instance, the man who has lost his job initially has an overwhelming feeling of despair; but, as he begins to surrender around the periphery, and as he diminishes his overwhelm through consciously utilizing escape, suppression, and expression, he now realizes that there is also anger. He sees that the anger is associated with pride. There is a lot of anger in the form of resentment. There is self-invalidation, which is a form of anger

And, as he surrenders pride, he will quickly see that he is not faced with economic disaster, as he had thought. Thus, as the disassembled emotional complex is taken apart into its component parts, each component part now has less energy and can be surrendered individually.

for a period of time, even years; however, because they are now small fragments, each can be handled as it arises. At least the crisis situation will have been passed through safely and consciously.

Handling a crisis from the emotional rather than the intellectual level will shorten its duration dramatically. In the case of someone who loses a job, handling it from the intellectual level will produce thousands of thoughts and hypothetical scenarios. The person suffers through many sleepless nights due to the racing thoughts about the situation as the mind reviews it over and over again. All of this is fruitless. Until the underlying emotion is surrendered, the thoughts will be engendered endlessly.

There are numerous benefits to handling a life crisis successfully. For one thing, the amount of suppressed or repressed emotion is now much less. The crisis has forced it up to be relinquished and, therefore, the amount that is left in the reservoir is much less. There is a greater feeling of self-esteem and confidence because there is the awareness that one can survive and handle whatever life will bring. There is an overall reduction of the fear of life, a greater feeling of mastery, greater compassion for the suffering of others, and an increased ability to help them through similar circumstances.

The “dark night of the soul” frequently precedes states of heightened awareness.

One of the best-known examples of this paradox is illustrated by persons who have had near-death experiences. There are now many books on the subject that reveal a certain commonality. Once the worst of all possible fears—the dread and shock of death—has been faced, it is superseded by a profound sense of serenity, peace, oneness, and immunity from fear. Many such persons develop extraordinary abilities, become healers, develop psychic awareness, and advanced states of spiritual illumination. They experience major leaps in growth and the sudden appearance of new talents and capacities. Thus, every life crisis carries within it the kernels of a reversal, a renewal, an expansion, a leap in consciousness, and a letting go of the old and a birth of the new.

of so that a healing can take place. This brings us to another emotional healing technique that becomes powerful once the major event has passed. That is to place the event in a different context, to see it from a different perspective, and to hold it in a different paradigm with a different significance and meaning.

One of the most effective tools for handling the past is the creation of a different context. What this means is that we give it a different meaning. We take on a different attitude about the past difficulty or trauma, and we acknowledge the hidden gift in it.

“Logotherapy”—

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way” (Frankl, [1959] 2006). Frankl re-contextualized the horrific circumstances to hold profound meaning for the human spirit.

Every life experience, no matter how “tragic,” contains a hidden lesson. When we discover and acknowledge the hidden gift that is there, a healing takes place. In

example of the man who lost his job, after some time had passed, he looked back and saw that his former job was stunting, that he had been in a rut. Frankly, the job had given him an ulcer. Prior to losing the job, he had seen only the pleasures from it. Once outside of the situation, he began t...

Carl Jung, who concluded after a lifetime of study, that there is an inborn drive in the unconscious toward wholeness, completeness, and realization of the Self, and that the unconscious will devise the ways and means of bringing this about, even if they are traumatic to the conscious mind.

Jung also said that in the unconscious there was an aspect of ourselves called the “shadow.” The shadow is all the repressed thoughts, feelings and concepts about ourselves that we do not want to face. One benefit of a crisis is that it often brings us into familiarity with our shadow. It makes us more human and more whole to realize what we share with all of humanity. All the stuff that we thought “they” were guilty of is equally in ourselves. Thus, when it is brought up to conscious awareness, acknowledged, and surrendered, it no longer unconsciously runs us.

Passing through a life crisis, then, makes us more human, more compassionate, more accepting and understanding of ourselves and others. We no longer have to indulge in making others wrong or making ourselves wrong.

Thus, the man who successfully handles the crisis of losing a job will never again experience that same fear. He will, therefore, be more creative on the next job, willing to take the necessary risks to make it a success. He begins to see how that haunting fear of job loss had severely limited his performance in the past, made him fearful and cautious, and cost him his self-esteem due to his kowtowing and compliance with his superiors.

One benefit from a life crisis is greater self-awareness. The situation is overwhelming, and we are forced to stop all of our diversionary games, take a good look at our life situation, and re-evaluate our beliefs, goals, values, and life direction.

Every emotional experience is an opportunity to go up or down. Which do we choose? That is the confrontation.

The part of us that wants to cling to negative emotions is our smallness. It is the part of us that is mean, petty, selfish, competitive, cheap, conniving, mistrusting, vindictive, judgmental, diminished, weak, guilty, ashamed, and vain. It has little energy; it is depleting, demeaning, and leads to the lowering of self-respect.