Models: Attract Women Through Honesty

by Mark Manson

When you are talking to a woman, there are only two real subjects of conversation: her and you.

1) being open about yourself, 2) getting her to be open about herself, and 3) relating to each other’s experiences.

Be willing to share any part of yourself to anyone at any time and on any level. You have nothing to lose by sharing yourself.

Ideally, sharing these aspects of yourself will encourage her to share them in herself. You want to get her to talk about her passions, her ambitions, her best experiences and her most vulnerable experiences. These are the topics that define us as humans and make us unique — that is, different from the last 20 guys who talked to her.

A man who can laugh easily at the world and who isn’t afraid to laugh at himself conveys a sense of non-neediness.

When in doubt, be plain and to-the-point.

On our dates, we are doing things — lots of things. We’re going bowling, having drinks, dancing, checking out statues in the park and carriage riding — all in three hours.

These dates are designed to create as much mutual experience as possible in the least amount of time possible.

The underlying concept to have on a date is that you should try to constantly be leading.

Every decision should be yours and she should be expected to follow it. Remove, “What do you want to do now?” from your dating vocabulary. Never say it again.

There should be less teasing and playful banter and more conversations about your lives and what’s important to you. Learn about her past, her passions, her dreams, what her favorite things are.

Something as simple as taking a guy who usually stands there blabbering for hours about meteorology or something, if you take that same guy and have him put his arm around the woman he’s talking to or have him lightly touch her as if punctuating his points and jokes, this generates way more sexual tension.

getting physical with women, and getting physical quickly and comfortably, is ultimately the difference between having a lot of female friends, and having a lot of girlfriends and dates.

And the women loved it. They loved his physicality and his raw sexual energy. It made them feel beautiful and sexy and it was exciting.

Being physical with women is a necessary habit that most men who are poor with women never do.

From now on, you are a sexually assertive and dominant guy and you have no shame about it. We’ll also discover that women actually prefer you to be this way.

The first is polarization. You want to establish whether she’s sexually interested in you as soon as you possibly can. The second reason is that being physical is bold and, therefore, a highly attractive form of flirting.

Studies have shown that people being touched by somebody when they first meet them not only have a much higher probability of thinking favorably of them, but they also were shown to trust them quicker.

As you having a conversation with her, assuming she is Receptive, just lightly touch her on the arm, near the elbow. Don’t press hard or hold it, as that could startle her, but just a small brush or tap or light squeeze. Use your touching to punctuate the conversation, as if emphasizing a funny moment or the punchline of the joke. Think of touching as the exclamation marks or question marks of the dialogue.

For instance, let’s say you make a clever joke and she begins to laugh really hard, you should put your hand on her arm to punctuate the emotion of the moment.

As the conversation goes on, the better things are going, the more you want to be touching and the more personal you want your touches to be.

Your touching should happen in a progression. In general, you want to start on the outside of her body — her arms and legs — and slowly move closer into her body. Put your hand on her back as you move her to sit down with you, put your arm around her lower back as she leans against the bar next to you, etc. Later on, this progression will continue into intimacy: tickling, massages, and cuddling (or spooning). And from there it will continue on into kissing, petting, and becoming sexual.

If she’s looking at you even 10% more than the average stranger, then she’s at least somewhat curious/interested in you.

Smiling: If eye contact means she’s interested, this means “you better come talk to me!”

if you think you can kiss her, you probably could have ten minutes ago. We men are horrible at gauging a woman’s sexual desire and when she’s ready to move things forward.

Think of it this way: it’s much better to try and kiss her and get rejected than to go the whole night without making a move and never knowing what would have been.

Imagine you’re massaging her lips with yours.

A lot of kissing revolves around how you use your hands as well. Your hands should be roaming her body gently, caressing her back, gently holding her neck, pulling her hips into yours. One of my favorite things to do while making out with a girl is to grab her belt loops on her pants and pull her hips into mine.

Cool it. Kissing is simply the gateway to greater and deeper intimacy. Enjoy it, play with it, relax into it.

The important thing is to see sex as not something you are earning or taking from a woman, but rather something you two are participating in together. It’s a team effort. Because, believe it or not, women want sex too. They want wild, passionate, crazy sex, just like you do.

As you do the things talked about above, don’t just rush into them and devour her.

Instead of just giving her oral sex, start off slow by kissing the inside of her thighs, inching closer and closer. Create expectation. Make her yearn for whatever you’re about to do to her. Stuff like this drives girls crazy and makes them incredibly horny. If you do this well and repeatedly, you’ll often get girls pushing you down and forcing you to have sex. The expectation is too much. They have to have it. Right then and there.

When it comes to sex, more important than any physical technique — some cool angle or position or whatever — is being dominant.

Women like to feel like you have the power and the control in the bedroom. They want you to be assertive and strong with what you want.

Be loud. Make noise. Grunt. Breathe hard. Women love this because it makes them feel like they can be loud. And when they’re loud they get off easier and more often.

Talk dirty. Tell her how sexy she is. Tell her what you’re going to do to her before you do it. Call her a dirty girl and a horny slut. This may be outside of your comfort zone, but realize that in the bedroom the rules change and logic goes out the window.

Get physical. Spank her. Pull her hair. Hold her down with one hand. When you change positions, literally pic...

Don’t ever ask, “Is this OK? Do you want to do X?” Just do it and stop later if she doesn’t like it and apologize. Nothing turns a girl off faster than a guy who defers to her too much while having sex. Take cont...

This requires you to have a sense of humor in the bedroom. Goofy and weird moments are going to happen in the sack and most people are at their most insecure when they’re naked and lying under someone they just met a week ago. Have a sense of humor. Be understanding. Relax.

“They make it look so easy in the movies.” If you can get a girl to crack up, she’ll forget she’s naked, forget she’s in a strange position and forget that you just screwed up and just be with you, laughing with you.

Also, be honest. If you don’t like the way she gives a blowjob, tell her and then tell her how you do like it. But also, be honest with the compliments. Tell her she’s beautiful naked. Tell her you love how she rides you. Tell her she looks sexy in that position.

Be open and honest. Communicate. The most important factor for good sex is how comfortable the two people are around each other. (This is another argument...

Unfortunately, if you want to stay single, this will take a lot of time and effort. And you have to deal with a lot of demoralizing failures. Try taking it slow with the girl once you know you’re going to have sex with her.

This confidence and security arise from having a stronger identity and investment in oneself than in the perception of others. This sub-communicates that as a man, you’re dependable, confident and high status (or likely to become high status).

The way to cultivate a higher investment in oneself, the way to becoming more confident, is actually counterintuitive. We learned that showing vulnerability, both in emotion and action, actually leads to a higher investment in oneself and higher non-neediness.

This feeling of hopelessness may last for minutes, hours or days, but chances are if you push yourself, if you genuinely try to change yourself and re-orient how you interact with the world, then you will feel it at some point.

“What if it was a gift?”

avoiding the world and being afraid to engage it, is a second that I’m forfeiting the biggest gift of all: my time here in this life.

His death shocked me, depressed me and scared me, but it scared me into having the courage to take risks, to express myself, to invest in my self-perception more than the perceptions of others. Because after all, sooner or later this will all disappear, and none of it will matter. So you might as well make the most of it while you’re here.