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Rejection exists for a reason — it’s a means to keep people apart who are not good for each other.
And remember, if you leave her to her neutrality, she will usually become Unreceptive and not see you as dating material.
If you express your truth and demonstrate not only that you’re non-needy but also frictionless for her (similar interests, values, life situation, etc.), then she will become very Receptive. And when I say very Receptive, I mean very.
the highly needy “Nice Guy.” He’s afraid of eliciting an emotional response in anybody, especially women (and especially himself); therefore, he’ll play it safe and elicit Neutral reactions from woman after woman. And when women are Neutral for too long without being polarized, then they will make themselves Unreceptive.
At the bar, the first question out of my mouth is one of my favorites for Neutral situations: "What's your favorite thing in the world?"
Women who are not passionate or self-aware I drop very quickly and go meet someone else.
We're both better off not being together. And by me eliciting her religiosity early on, we find that out sooner rather than later.
My success was about expressing my identity, forcing her to make a decision about me and letting the chips fall where they may.
The two go together. You cannot be an attractive and life-changing presence to some women without being a joke or an embarrassment to others. You simply can’t. You have to be controversial. You have to polarize. It’s the name of the game.
Being hated by nobody usually means you’re not loved by anybody either.
These are never wrong moves, assuming that they are honest expressions of yourself and you are showing your vulnerability.
A man who is uninhibited about expressing his emotions and what he wants will demonstrate non-neediness, thereby attracting a woman and immediately forcing her to decide whether she’s Receptive or Unreceptive.
You’d be surprised how many women will respond with attraction to nothing other than a man who is bold and willing to stick his neck out.
They respect a man who is bold and honest.
“Your ability to deal with the failure will determine how much you get to deal with success.”
As with any type of failure, it’s not until you’ve been rejected a certain amount that you realize how insignificant it actually is, how you spent so much time worrying about nothing,
and how
you’re free to act however ...
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The reason men fear rejection is because they’re operating on other peoples’ truths, not their own. In fact, men who fear rejection tend to be oblivious to their own truth because if they were aware of their own desires, needs and values, what would they have to be afraid ...
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The best you can do is to let it go and remember: it’s not about you.
This is why we pursue women based on our truth. This is why we polarize women as soon as possible. This is why we approach women looking to see if she fits our values and needs and not the other way around.
Instead of thinking, “I wonder if she’ll like me,” think, “I wonder what she’s like?”
Instead of thinking, “I hope she doesn’t reject me,” think, “I hope I'll find out if she’s right for me.”
the point is that if she liked me enough, she’d be willing to work at making it happen with me. And if she doesn’t, then that just means it’s wrong person — or right person, wrong time. And that’s fine.
Remember, it’s “Fuck Yes!” or no. And if I’m not getting a “Fuck Yes!” then I’d much rather have a no than a “Meh, OK.”
Success = Maximizing happiness with whichever woman/women we prefer
our success is defined by screening through as many women as possible until we find the ones we enjoy and the ones who enjoy us.
Suddenly, rejection goes from hurting our success rate to often helping it. Having a great date with a woman who wants to wait to have sex with you can become a far greater success than that woman who bangs your brains out an hour after meeting you.
Open yourself up and find what makes you happy. Yes, that will mean you’ll probably get hurt. But so what? The best things in life don’t come easily.
There are three ways in which we are honest. And those three ways will make up the bulk of this book. The three ways are 1) living based on our values (lifestyle); 2) becoming comfortable with our intentions (boldness); and 3) by expressing our sexuality freely (communication).
The first way of expressing our truth involves developing a lifestyle that makes us happy. The second way of expressing truth is by being courageous and fighting through our fears and anxieties. And the third way of expressing truth is by communicating well and being uninhibited in our sexuality.
Lifestyle, Courage, and Communication: I refer to these as the Three Fundamentals.
Honest Living, or creating an attractive lifestyle involves really drilling down and understanding what you want as a man for your life and then working to make that a reality.
You are not living your life honestly, which means you are not investing in yourself, which means you are needy and unattractive.
If those things aren’t actually important to you, then you have a responsibility to yourself to change.
This is like baseline neediness, and until you straighten this out, you will be needy with every woman you meet, preventing you from meeting the truly amazing women that you could potentially be with one day.
All fear around your sexuality is a result of feeling
inferior or unworthy.
If you’re afraid to approach a woman, it’s because somewhere inside you are more invested in her opinion of you than you a...
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a good sense of humor, the ability to connect with people, telling stories, engaging people’s attention, having charisma, and expressing your sexuality openly.
A man who communicates poorly or is unable to express himself clearly will lose a lot of romantic opportunities to “lost in translation” situations — misunderstandings, vague communications, inaccurate assumptions, etc.
Which women do you want to meet and what kind of relationship do you want to have with them?
The theory of demographics is simple and easy to remember: like attracts like. You attract what you are.
The answer isn’t replacing your identity and passions; the answer is to expand your identity and passions. Expand it to include new and interesting activities, new modes of expression, and new ways of presenting yourself.
if you focus your time and energy on meeting women in situations where they are likely to share your values, interests, and needs — then you’re going to not only experience a much higher degree of success, but you’re going to meet women you enjoy a lot more.
But if you believe that women do enjoy sex, then the women who do enjoy sex will feel comfortable expressing their sexuality around you, while
but remember, rejections are a form of screening for demographics and in this case, it’s doing you a favor.
You’ll end up with a bunch of sexual and sensual women who enjoy being with you. Nothing wrong with that!
“The only thing all of the women you date have in common is you.”
You change your beliefs by simply accepting the fact that you don’t know what you’re talking about and then you open yourself to coming to other conclusions.
