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Because here’s the amazing thing about people, both men and women: people tend to conform to what we expect of them.
The more money/looks/success you have, the less attractive behavior you need. The less money/looks/success you have, the more attractive behavior you need.
Part of living the honest lifestyle is to pursue what you’re passionate about to the fullest extent.
Don’t just pursue your interests, become a leader in your interests.
it is far more powerful to be something attractive rather than to say something attractive.
Speak louder. Do it now, do it everywhere. Don’t scream. But speak loudly, from the diaphragm, from your chest voice. Research shows it commands more respect and attention.
this. For some reason, I think she’s trashy. I have to stop myself. What do I know? Nothing.
Let’s be honest, we all pass up dozens of situations like the above on a weekly basis, no matter how experienced or inexperienced we are.
That isn’t to say I’m some sort of badass. I put in my time. I paid my dues. A lot of it was fun and a lot of it sucked and was humiliating. But I did it. I grew. And I’m a better person for it now.
always, these judgments aren’t accurate portrayals of her. I don’t even know her. Yet I’m judging her. It’s a defense mechanism. My conscious fear has disappeared, but my subconscious resistance is still alive and kicking.
this is your subconscious resisting change. And your mind is inventing stories to explain that resistance.
We’re all full of shit — a lot. All of our stories are. And we listen to them most of the time. We believe them. I know mine’s dumb, just like yours probably is too. But that’s what pops into my head. That’s the excuse I have to fight through these days. And for me, this one is a constant battle.
It’s always something, isn’t it? There always seems to be something that you don’t have right this second, that if you had it, you’d be able to act in the exact way that you’d like. Right?
What’s important is that you move things forward without hesitation, without that resistance that you’re obeying right now by doing nothing, by remaining in the status quo — the same resistance I listened to today at the gym. That girl could have been the love of my life, the absolute perfect girl for me. Who knows? I never will.
The only important "skill" in dating is learning how to stop buying into your own bullshit, to stop believing your own stories.
look them in the eye and say, “You know what, I don’t care if she’s on her phone and her ass says ‘PINK’ on it, I want to meet her.” And then do it. Without hesitation. Without fear. And without apology.
you’ll have to flex your mental and emotional muscles, and build up your body of self-awareness, but here’s the good news: those are the muscles chicks actually dig.
The fact that you’re scared to death demonstrates a high level of investment in her opinion of you, and thus a high degree of neediness.
Blame Game — The Blame Game is where, when confronted with something he’s afraid of, a man blames someone or something else for his fear.
Blame Game will often result in men convincing themselves of stuff like, “Oh, she’s stuck up,” or “She’s just into guys who are good-looking,” or “She’s too stupid for me anyway,” or “This club is too loud to talk to people,” or “Women in Miami are just bitches, I need to find a new city.”
Intellectualizing — I guarantee that this is part of the reason you’re here: you have some sort of fear, anxiety or pain related to women, and instead of actually doing something about it, you got online and decided to look up an answer that you could study.
they aim to avoid the fear and they usually do it by convincing themselves of something that’s not necessarily true.
The key to overcoming your fears is first and foremost to break your patterned response to your fear. This requires a certain level of self-awareness and discipline.
Take a moment and think about what you’re most anxious about. Is it approaching? Is it showing sexual interest? Is it asking a woman out? Is it the first kiss? 2. Now write down your pattern with it. So for instance, “Calling women, pattern is apathy,” or “Approaching women, pattern is blame game.” 3. Now, create a goal for yourself, for instance, “Call every phone number I get, no matter how much I don’t care.” Write it down. 4. Tell a friend or a buddy what you plan on doing and ask him to keep you accountable.
That last item is important. Sharing your fears and having someone keep you accountable is integral to this whole process and makes it 10 times easier. Even the very act of sharing your fear with someone who can empathize and understand goes a long way towards relieving the pressure.
Men make negative assumptions and stereotypes about millions of women for no other reason than to shirk responsibility for their own shortcomings.
If we're blaming others, we're not learning. And if we're not learning, we're not improving.
But when you practice taking responsibility for everything that happens in your life, you stop blaming others.
It’s no longer their fault that you’re still single because they’re all cold bitches, but now it’s your fault and a question of whether you’re willing to sacrifice the extra effort or not to find a woman who isn’t a cold bitch.
Taking responsibility and morphing blame into sacrif...
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The recipe for a healthy and happy relationship is one where both partners take responsibility for their own emotions and their choice to commit to the other.
Challenge yourself to find the good and beautiful thing inside of everyone. It’s there. It’s your job to find it. Not their job to show you.
porn harms your motivation to pursue women in real life.
Often they would abstain from sex or masturbation for long periods of time and would, therefore, feel more energized.
She wants you to be that man. She’s secretly rooting for you. She doesn’t want to reject you. Every time a new man walks up to her, she’s secretly saying to herself, “Please, please, please be the man. Be the attractive man that I can’t say no to.”
And then he nervously stutters around buying her a drink and makes uncomfortable jokes about the weather and she’s back to that horribly uncomfortable position of having to reject him again.
It’s amazing how many second and third chances a woman will give you if she likes you. She’s rooting for you. She’s your biggest fan. She’s saying, “Oh, he chickened out on asking me out this time, but I’ll find an excuse to call him so maybe he’ll do it next time.” They’re begging for you to succeed. They want it just as bad as you do. That women at the party, in the coffee shop, on the dating site, they want you to be that unbelievably attractive man, that man who makes time stop for them and can make them feel things they’ve never felt before. They want you to be that. And when they reject
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You didn’t make her spin and fall and laugh and forget where she was or who she was with. That’s what she goes out looking for: the man who can make her feel more alive.
The next time you make your move, when she sees you coming — and trust me, she usually sees you coming — know that she’s already rooting for you. Secretly, she wants you to succeed as much ...
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And your role as a man is to take action. It’s all on you. It’s always on you. ...
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no matter how much you read, how much you study, how much you watch about dating and attracting women, if you’re unable to take action, you will get nowhere.
They feel like if they’re reading a 150-page book on attraction, then they’re accomplishing something right? And as long as they’re accomplishing something, then they don’t have to confront what they’re afraid of: going out and standing in front of a woman and expressing their truth, being vulnerable, subjecting themselves to rejection.
The trick isn't to eliminate it; it's simply to train yourself to behave despite it.
The actual way to deal with it is to accept it, embrace it, and harness it to make your performance better.
“What you resist will persist.”
the nervousness almost felt good. I was confident in my ability. It was a borderline excitement. I knew I was going to blow everybody away. I knew that they would love me. So even though I was nervous to get up there, I couldn’t wait.
what matters isn’t the anxiety itself, but the person’s confidence in their own ability to perform whatever action they’re anxious about.
So it’s less about the anxiety and more about how competent you feel you are. The less competent you feel, the more the anxiety will hinder you, the more confident you are in your ability, the more the anxiety will help you.
Attracting women is not complicated. And if you can have a conversation with a friend or family member, then you already possess the only “skill-set” required in attracting a woman. There’s nothing to learn, only things to do. And the fear doesn’t go away, you learn to hone it to help you.
And if you can have a conversation with a friend or family member, then you already possess the only “skill-set” required in attracting a woman.
