Models: Attract Women Through Honesty

by Mark Manson

Freud famously said at one point, “The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘what do women want?’”

One new conclusion in arousal research these days is that female arousal is somewhat narcissistic in nature. Women are turned on by being wanted, by being desired.

What they want is to be desired. An unhinged desire. A passionate and uncontrollable desire. They want to be desired to the point that a man completely loses awareness and self-control.

That is a point of difficulty for me. I have no desire to control the world around me, but I despise feeling like I'm not in control of myself.

I’m going to say this point-blank: getting physical with women, and getting physical quickly and comfortably, is ultimately the difference between having a lot of female friends, and having a lot of girlfriends and dates.

“signals” women give them when they’re interested. In the courtship process, it’s always the man’s responsibility to take action and make the moves, and the woman’s responsibility to give him signals, telling him when to proceed and when to stop.

It should be noted that many women are as bad at putting out singals as men are at reading them. It's a two-way street.

As men, we’re kind of stuck in a weird place. Because on the one hand, we’re always expected to initiate and make the first move. But on the other, we’re supposed to respect a woman’s desires and right to her own body.

Take it one step at a time, and remember, she always has the right to back out or change her mind at any moment.

Pre-Approach Signals - Non-Accidental Eye Contact: When in doubt, assume it’s not accidental. Humans are programmed to look at and focus on whatever they’re either curious about or what they find attractive. If she’s looking at you even 10% more than the average stranger, then she’s at least somewhat curious/interested in you. I make a point to approach every woman who makes non-accidental eye contact with me, and it serves me well. - Smiling: If eye contact means she’s interested, this means “you better come talk to me!” - She Approaches You: This goes without saying, although a lot of guys are so oblivious, they even miss this. If a woman approaches you, even if it’s to ask the time, about the weather, for directions, or whatever, chances are she has some interest in talking to you. - Proximity: This one is subtle, but the more you work on your lifestyle, body language, and style, the more of these you will get. It’s when a woman places herself conspicuously near you when she doesn’t have to. For instance, let’s say you’re sitting on a bus and an attractive woman gets on. The entire bus is empty, yet she comes over and sits across from you. This could mean she wants you to talk to her. Some other examples are when a woman comes and stands near you in a store or shop looking at nothing in particular for a long amount of time. Conversation Signals - Excessive Smiling/Laughing: This is subjective and will require some judgment, but sometimes you will notice one girl smiling...

A stunning woman I once worked with came up and asked me if I wanted to grab a cup of coffee. My response? I held up the half drunk cup of coffe I already had and said, "No thanks," shook the cup, "I'm good." Didn't realize my mistake until I was half way home.

Some notes on kissing well: - Don’t slobber all over her face. - Don’t jam your tongue down her throat. Heavy tongue has its place, but it’s usually in the bedroom when you guys are naked. - Don’t peck her like she’s your grandmother. - Don’t shove your face into hers or apply too much pressure. Kisses are sensual. Imagine you’re massaging her lips with yours.

Cool it. Kissing is simply the gateway to greater and deeper intimacy. Enjoy it, play with it, relax into it.

Just accept that these things are often fluid and both you and her can opt in or opt out at any time without shame or judgment.

While intimacy, romance, and intense emotional connection are fantastic and in many ways intoxicating, like a drug and even possibly addictive, true, long-lasting emotional connection can only come through submitting to long-term commitment.