Models: Attract Women Through Honesty

by Mark Manson

Ask yourself for which demographic of women are looks and money highly important? Women who tend to only value good looks tend to be women who only have good looks and little else to offer. Women who are highly interested in money are going to be women who don’t have other interests or opportunities in front of them.

The more money/looks/success you have, the less attractive behavior you need. The less money/looks/success you have, the more attractive behavior you need.

It’s all relative. The key is to 1) recognize your personal interests and strengths, and 2) build upon those personal interests and strengths to quickly attract women in your preferred demographic.

There are a few rules to dressing well: 1. Wear clothes that fit. 2. Wear clothes that match. 3. Dress to your personality

Matching is actually simple once you know what to look for: - Your belt should match your shoes and/or your accessories. - If you’re wearing dress pants, your socks should match your pants. - If you’re wearing jeans, your socks should match your shoes. - Your accessories must all be gold or all silver.

1. Assume everything has a form of value; it’s your job to find it.

2. When expanding your horizons; start with what’s generally considered the best.

Anyone who has read a lot can tell you that the best ideas you take from a certain book often have nothing to do with the book you read.

There’s a certain baseline level of independence and self-sufficiency that your lifestyle must give you for you to be able to move forward.

Over the years, anxiety morphs into apathy, which morphs into arrogance.

So here are some helpful ways to break your own pattern: 1. Take a moment and think about what you’re most anxious about. Is it approaching? Is it showing sexual interest? Is it asking a woman out? Is it the first kiss? 2. Now write down your pattern with it. So for instance, “Calling women, pattern is apathy,” or “Approaching women, pattern is blame game.” 3. Now, create a goal for yourself, for instance, “Call every phone number I get, no matter how much I don’t care.” Write it down. 4. Tell a friend or a buddy what you plan on doing and ask him to keep you accountable.

The recipe for a healthy and happy relationship is one where both partners take responsibility for their own emotions and their choice to commit to the other.

Challenge yourself to find the good and beautiful thing inside of everyone. It’s there. It’s your job to find it. Not their job to show you.

Chances are they aren't really sure what it is that is beautiful about themselves, and couldn't accurately tell you if they wanted to. We're all on the inside looking out, and there's no mirror for the soul.

Although there’s no absolute scientific proof (yet) for porn addiction, here’s something I can tell you that is absolutely true: porn harms your motivation to pursue women in real life.

Orgasms, or more accurately, ejaculation in men, actually causes a depletion of various hormones and endorphins which often lead to useful behaviors as well as motivation.

Men who have the perception of women as these ego-centric creatures who laugh at us from their sexual mountain-tops, doling out which man gets (a chance at) the divine pussy access and which man gets to squander away his time in solitude — it doesn’t work like that.

I love the wording employed here.

And your role as a man is to take action. It’s all on you. It’s always on you. You move things forward.

Courage is a habit. Courage is a form of discipline. It’s taking a certain action even though you feel like doing something else. The difference here is that courage involves acting against fear, whereas discipline involves acting against laziness or fatigue.

There’s no such thing as a man who is adored by women who isn’t also creepy some of the time.

As is often the case, women are terrible authorities on why they like/dislike something, all they know is that they like/dislike it.)

Creepiness is behaving in a way that makes a woman feel insecure sexually.

Flirting is expressing your sexuality to a woman in a way that makes her feel secure expressing her sexuality back towards you.

So how do you develop deep and lasting emotional connections with women, connections that will blow your mind and heart away as well as hers too? Connections that will give you some of the best nights and sex of your life? Glad you asked. Here’s the basic pattern, and you should recognize a lot of overlap here with Chapter 2: - Becoming aware of your own emotions, motivations, and life story. - Taking the lead by sharing those emotions, motivations, and life story first. - Sharing first creates trust and encourages her to open up and share herself in return. - Ideally, the more this goes on, the more personal the stories become and the deeper the emotions are by which you connect.

biggest misconception about generating a strong emotional connection is that it obligates you to some sort of commitment. It doesn’t.

Be careful though, some women will feel cheated if you get too close to them without following through on any sort of commitment. Our culture has hammered it into women’s head that emotion equals commitment equals happily-ever-after, but that’s just rarely the case.

When you see a beautiful woman, you should be motivated by nothing but your desire to get to know her. That’s it.

The topics that we’ll cover in this section are: - Using effective language - Questions versus statements - Creating endless conversation topics - Storytelling - Basics of emotional connection

There’s no failing with cold reading. With every cold read, one of three things will happen: 1. You’ll be wrong, and she’ll correct you. 2. You’ll be wrong, and she’ll ask you what made you think that. 3. You’ll be right, and she’ll freak out at how perceptive you are.

Endless Conversation Topics: In every topic of conversation, there are countless opportunities to jump off onto other topics — there are countless word associations to be made.

As you read through these examples, try to come up with a statement to relate to each jump off point. This will help teach you to be prepared to speak about any topic on the spot. 1. “I go to Harvard right now. But I want to move back out west. The weather’s too cold up here.” 2. “I’m here with my friends Steve and Carrie. They’ve been dating for six months, but they fight like a married couple.” 3. “We work together downtown in the district. It’s all right, but I’m looking to change careers.” 4. “We were at this party last night. It was crazy. The cops ended up busting it and some drunken kid got arrested.”

Storytelling: Human beings, by default, are enrapt by stories, or more specifically, a story arc. Politicians use them to campaign, teachers use them to explain important concepts, comedians use them to make us laugh, and we use them constantly in our day-to-day interactions.

Relating and Connecting: The final goal of a successful conversation is to actually make a personal connection with the woman you’re talking to.

Take out a sheet of paper and write down three things for each of the following: - Your passions and favorite things to do. - Your dreams, ambitions, life goals. - The best/worst things that have happened to you. - Your childhood, family life, and upbringing.

You want to get her to talk about her passions, her ambitions, her best experiences and her most vulnerable experiences.

Sarcastic women will like sarcastic men. Silly women will like silly men, and so on. Focus on what you find funny to you personally, and don’t be afraid to share that with the women you meet. If they laugh, then great! If they don’t, then chances are it wasn’t going to work anyway.

Generally, the older you are, the more I recommend avoiding dirty language. Use it sparingly and only use it when you have a specific reason to. The more you use it, the more attention-seeking and negative you will make yourself appear, both of which are unattractive traits.

Guys with a good sense of humor who habitually use it on themselves, I recommend turning those same jokes and thoughts onto the women you’re talking to. Instead of making fun of yourself, make fun of her. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but you’ll be surprised at how it will blow your interactions wide open and infuse more sexuality and playfulness into them.

The way to prevent flakes is to meet and attract women who are so interested in you that they would never consider flaking.

If she’s not finding a way to make it happen, then she probably doesn’t like you as much as you thought she did.

I always text within 24 hours of getting her number. I send a simple text: “Hey Sara, it was nice meeting you.” That’s it. Most girls who are interested in you will respond somewhat quickly. The ones who do not respond to this will usually flake on you.

I’ve found that the cuter or harder you try to win girls over by text, the bigger chance you have of looking needy and desperate and losing them.

Texting is, in general, an awful medium for communication. Often if you try to get too sarcastic or witty in your texts, they can be easily misinterpreted or come off with a completely different intention than you originally had. And remember, everything comes back to intention. So clear, blunt language. I tell guys that I only use texting to organize when she and I are going to see each other next. Literally, that’s what 90% of my texts consist of, things like, “Hey, what are you doing Thursday night?” or “I’m busy this weekend, but I want to see you again.”

Especially early into getting to know one another. Eventually, you each learn each other well enough to almost hear their normal tone and impart it to the text, but this takes time, and is still pretty unreliable.

One of the quickest ways to lose a girl is by texting her stuff that’s way too try-hard. When in doubt, be plain and to-the-point.

You’re not going to be texting Shakespearean Sonnets to her. Get her to agree to meet up as soon as possible and then do all of the heavy lifting in person, where you can interact physically, where she can see your intentions and your non-neediness, and where you’re not limited to 120 characters at a time or whatever.

Don’t do lunch dates, and never make an afternoon date the first date if possible. Just don’t do it. For whatever reason, nothing says, “let’s just be friends” more than having lunch together.

you want to allow yourself time for at least three one-hour activities (more on that later). So anywhere between 6 PM to 9 PM. Later than that, and you limit your time together. Earlier than that, and you get a daytime vibe and the date will usually run out of steam before she has to go home. You want to time the date so that you are peaking together at around 10 PM or 11 PM and she has the, “I need to go home, but I don’t want to yet,” feeling.

Good date locations are locations that are active, participatory, and allow for touching and flirting. Alcohol can be helpful as well if that’s your style. Some good examples include comedy clubs, dance classes, museum exhibits, walks in interesting places (plazas, parks, etc.), concerts, or just grabbing a drink somewhere.

Chances are if she wants to hang out with her friend with you, then it’s no longer a date.

There’s something strange in human psychology. Our level of intimacy with one another doesn’t just come from how much we talk about as much as it comes from the experiences we share.

Include dancing if at all possible, as it’s the most sexual date activity you can have. Also, if you two decide to drink, try to drink at the second or last venues/activities. You don't ever want to end up hammered on a date.