Models: Attract Women Through Honesty

by Mark Manson

“What you do speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you say.” Seduction is the interplay of emotions. Your movement, or lack of movement, reflects and alters emotions, not the words. Words are the side effect. Sex is the side effect. The game is emotions, emotions through movement. If you learn anything from this book, let that be it.

And if you promise to move, then I promise change. Slowly, your looks will change, your words will change, and your actions will change. And hopefully, maybe something amazing will happen. Your emotions will shift and move and vibrate with them, and the women of the world will feel your resonance and come calling.

The needier he is, the less attractive he will be to women on average. Neediness is when a man places a higher priority on others’ perceptions of him than his perception of himself. A

A non-needy man’s actions and words will therefore be primarily motivated by embodying his own values and desires.

man’s respect for differing opinions makes those around him want to agree with him more.

the non-needy man does them simply for the pleasure of doing.

you should not be willing to sacrifice your thoughts, feelings, and motivations for someone else more than

be the man who controls his own destiny, is unfazed by the threats others may pose to him and who shrugs it off if he pursues a woman and she has no interest in him?

The second man indicates a man of status.

It’s the gag reflex she has when a guy calls her twelve too many times. It’s the distaste she has when he seems to laugh a little too hard at her jokes. It’s the annoyance she has when he seems to make every decision for her rather than letting her fend for herself.

it’s not the complete deal breaker that it is for women.

To most women, a man with no neediness is like a woman with perfect tits and a gorgeously sculpted ass. To a woman, a man with a lot of neediness is like having the worst breath and missing teeth.

When you are attracted to a woman, you should be affected by her, you should be invested in her. That’s the whole fun of it! That’s

Narcissistic men, or men who only care about themselves, will end up in relationships sometimes, but only with narcissistic and shallow women. Both the narcissistic man and woman will view each other merely as ornaments to adorn their self-absorbed lives.

As a result, despite caring for him, James’s girlfriends rarely respect him.

Then there’s Jeff. Jeff has been successful with women for his entire life and has a very low level of investment in them until he’s gotten to know them well. Jeff enjoys going out with his friends and pays no attention to whether the women around him approve of him or not. At times, he says something weird or gets rejected, but it doesn’t bother him.

Jeff ends up sleeping with a lot of women. His phone is constantly ringing with texts from them, but he only answers them when he has time or feels like it. He’s never rude or nasty to them. But he only makes time for the ones he genuinely enjoys spending time with.

Jeff has a low level of investment. He’s content with his life and proud of who he is. He is confident and non-needy. If a woman doesn’t appreciate that, then he figures he’s better off without her.

Jeff is a high self-esteem individual who takes care of himself and is therefore able to be himself around others. James is not. Within moments of speaking to Jeff, and often even before speaking to him, women sense that not only does he have a strong sense of identity, he’s also unwilling to compromise that identity for her. This sub-communicates his high status to them and elicits attraction.

Men, on the other hand, have historically had fewer repercussions for promiscuity and, from a biological point of view, even gain some advantages by being promiscuous.

Women have evolved a sexuality that is more psychological than physical, and that psychological need is rooted in the need for security and connection.

This is why status is based on behavior and not simply assets. A man who is rich in assets has greater potential to make a woman feel secure and comfortable, but if his behavior implies that he won’t, then she won’t be attracted to him. A physically fit man will imply greater fitness for her children, but again, if his behavior implies he will be incapable or incompetent in raising them, then she will not be attracted to him.

Because men value sex more than women at the beginning of a relationship, and sexual opportunities are scarcer for men than women, women tend to be less invested and more confident early in on the interaction. When a man approaches her and induces her to become as invested in him as he is in her, this i...

Seduction is the process by which a man induces a woman to become as invested...

The second method (a man demonstrating less investment) is a passive process that he does within himself and that permeates every aspect of his behavior over the long-term. There’s nothing to learn or memorize. There is nothing to practice or study. It only requires one to move his yardstick for success from external goals (more dates, more sex) to internal goals (better relationships, more emotional fulfillment, overall happiness). This book will lay out how this internal process occurs and how to achieve it in yourself.

Little does Daniel realize that it wasn’t his lines and tricks that Stacy fell for, it was the endearing way he laughed at himself whenever he was self-conscious.

What used to be vibrant and hilarious bantering has now turned into Stacy showing up, saying whatever she wants and Daniel more or less agreeing with her until it’s time to have sex — which is now bad, uninteresting sex.

why it’s important to continue to invest in oneself even as life changes occur and the relationship goes on. It’s the only long-term

solution to keep long-term relationships stable and happy.

Ryan’s relationship with Jane failed because after he graduated from college, he lost and never regained the great aspects of his identity that made him so attractive to Jane in the first place — his social network, his...

But the irony here is that what attracted her the most was not Daniel’s lines, but the authenticity of him bumbling through them to impress her. Stacy

But as Daniel’s lines and techniques ran out, the true level of investment became more and more clear. Daniel’s behavior became erratic and it disgusted Stacy, causing her to cut him off in some ugly text exchanges.

Learning techniques and pick up lines without doing genuine, identity-level work in order to permanently decrease your neediness ends up only being a band-aid solution. It

Overcoming your neediness comes through a change in your mindset, your self-perception, and your self-respect. It's as simple as just changing your mind about women.

…That instead of feeling the need to impress her, you could wonder if she impresses you.

…That instead of sitting there silently wondering what to say next to make her like you, you could sit there silently wondering what she will say to make you like her.

…That instead of looking for a conversation she’ll enjoy, you could talk about something you enjoy and see if she takes interest.

…That instead of looking for her approval, you could decide whether or not to give yours. …That instead of getting upset about why she doesn’t want to be with you, you could decide that it means you probably wouldn’t want to be with her. This may all sound a bit selfish. But, in fact, it’s called having strong boundaries and high self-esteem. It’s called being non-needy and an attractive man.

Only making time for people who make time for you. Only being interested in dating people who are interested in dating you. Worrying about what will make you happy instead of what will make someone else happy. Looking for a person who meets your needs instead of trying to always meet...

women want you to be. Because, ironically, that is what women want you to be: a man who wants to be who he wants to be. Women are...

to a man they ca...

If you’re constantly looking for approval for what to say and how to feel, how could an...

The only real dating advice is self-improvement. Work on yourself. Conquer your anxieties. Resolve your shame. Take care of yourself and those who are important to you.

Love yourself. Otherwise no, one else will.

To become non-needy, a man must develop self-respect, a healthy sense of boundaries, social competence, and healthy life habits. It’s often a painful long-term process that entails quite a bit of introspection, questioning, doubt, anger, frustration, lifestyle changes, and so on.

Needy men only know how to care about what others want, even if it harms themselves. Non-needy men look for that intersection where they can get both their own needs and their partner’s needs met. Narcissistic men overcompensate and decide to only pursue getting their own needs met.

Men who go narcissistic act like they’re more important than anybody else. They are aggressive, insensitive, and demanding. They are self-serving and don’t handle rejection or loss well. Some of these men even end up becoming abusive.

Whereas a needy man will play at being meek and unimportant in order to get approval from others, the narcissist proclaims his own greatness to get approval from others.

Narcissism in a relationship is built on the idea of always being dominant or in control. It is a nebulous mixture of selfishness, assertiveness, and domination that is achieved not through investing more in oneself, but by minimizing the importance of others. This strategy is ultimately self-sabotaging then.

If the goal is to cultivate highly enriching relationships that add to one’s life, then minimizing the importance of those around you in order to attract them to you makes the resulting relationships unfulfilling and superficial.