Models: Attract Women Through Honesty

by Mark Manson

And again, similar to exercise, nutrition goes beyond making you look sexy. It makes you feel better, gives you higher energy, makes your sex better, increases your moods, and can even save you a lot of money.

Look people in the eye as they walk by — particularly attractive girls. You’ll catch people making eye contact with you. You’ll feel the urge to look away. Don’t. Always make other people break eye contact with you before you break it with them.

Vocal tonality is definitely overlooked by men. It’s not just having a sexy voice that’s important; it’s having an expressive and a loud voice.

If people are constantly asking you to repeat yourself, and it’s not loud in the room, you may speak too quickly.

Speak louder. Do it now, do it everywhere. Don’t scream. But speak loudly, from the diaphragm, from your chest voice. Research shows it commands more respect and attention.

good body language has also been shown to affect your moods positively.

Attractive men are polarizing and uninhibited. Attractive men make their opinions known. They’ve had unique experiences and ideas. They’ve tried things many people haven’t tried, done things many people haven’t done, and share their ideas openly and freely.

an attractive man with depth and character is a man who has opinions and openly expresses those opinions.

Watch every movie in IMDB’s list of top 20 movies of all time. Google critics’ top 10 movies of all time lists and watch everything on there. Watch every movie that’s ever won an Oscar for “Best Picture.” That’s a good start.

“You read literature because you can never meet enough people.”

If you were lined up next to 10 random, single men from your town, what would make you stand out from them?

What are your rough edges that people can’t find anywhere else? What have you done that will make you stand out in her mind?

Poor lifestyle choices reflect a lack of investment in yourself, which in turn causes you to be less confident around others for validation.

Get your life taken care of. Get healthy. Find a happy group of friends. Find a few hobbies that you love. Develop opinions. Start caring about what you spend your time doing. This increases your self-investment and will make you less needy around others. This, in turn, will give you the courage to take the correct action and the wherewithal to communicate effectively. This is honest living.

I start scanning in my mind for something to say to her.

Here are some other stories I’ve been telling myself lately: That I’m too good for these girls; it’s my subconscious’s favorite story right now. I tell myself, “I’ve been with dozens of women hotter/smarter/cooler than her, so why should I bother?”

What stories do you tell yourself? Because until you’re aware of your stories, you’re not going to be able to change your behavior.

Maybe you tell yourself that you need to have something really amazing to say for her to like you. So you stutter and stumble when talking to her, trying too hard and weirding her out. Here’s a story to try out: maybe you’re already amazing.

So what are your stories? What do you tell yourself to justify that internal resistance inside you? And what stories can you tell yourself instead to remove as much of that resistance as possible?

People talk a lot about the idea of “skill” in all of this stuff. “Pick up is a skill. It needs to be practiced,” blah, blah, blah. I think as the years go on, it’s being proven over and over that what you say isn’t so important, how you approach isn’t so important. What’s important is that you move things forward without hesitation, without that resistance that you’re obeying right now by doing nothing, by remaining in the status quo — the same resistance I listened to today at the gym. That girl could have been the love of my life, the absolute perfect girl for me. Who knows? I never will.

“You know what, I don’t care if she’s on her phone and her ass says ‘PINK’ on it, I want to meet her.” And then do it. Without hesitation. Without fear. And without apology.

Typically, the needier you are in a certain area, the more anxiety you’ll have in that area.

There comes a certain point where learning more about a subject is no longer beneficial and on the contrary, is just going to get you more mixed up and confused, since you have no experience to actually apply your knowledge to.

The key to overcoming your fears is first and foremost to break your patterned response to your fear.

Sharing your fears and having someone keep you accountable is integral to this whole process and makes it 10 times easier. Even the very act of sharing your fear with someone who can empathize and understand goes a long way towards relieving the pressure.

If we're blaming others, we're not learning. And if we're not learning, we're not improving.

Blame is yet another form of neediness. It’s prioritizing others over yourself. As long as it’s their fault, then you don’t have to make yourself vulnerable. But when you practice taking responsibility for everything that happens in your life, you stop blaming others.

Taking responsibility and morphing blame into sacrifice empowers you. It puts the ball in your court and returns you to the healthy reality that the only person in this world who determines your success and failure is you.

Challenge yourself to find the good and beautiful thing inside of everyone. It’s there. It’s your job to find it. Not their job to show you.

porn harms your motivation to pursue women in real life.

porn creates very, very unrealistic expectations about sex, about women, and about sexuality.

Actual sex with an actual woman often involves awkward moments of figuring out what she likes, what you like, who likes it which way. It also often involves ecstatic moments of emotional intimacy, something porn can never provide.

And as we all know, as men, the more we masturbate, the more interested we become in food and television, and the less we become in women and accomplishing something.

Orgasms, or more accurately, ejaculation in men, actually causes a depletion of various hormones and endorphins which often lead to useful behaviors as well as motivation.

Limit your masturbation to once a week. Schedule it. Pick a day.

And ultimately, no matter how much you read, how much you study, how much you watch about dating and attracting women, if you’re unable to take action, you will get nowhere.

Some men become self-help and dating advice junkies, reading and reading and reading and never taking action.

Fear is normal. Everyone has it in some form, and it's not going away anytime soon. The trick isn't to eliminate it; it's simply to train yourself to behave despite it.

to learn to adapt our negative emotions into positive behavior.

My inspiration for self-improvement began with revenge.

Neurobiology has shown us that attempting to avoid or shut out something we’re afraid of only serves to make that fear stronger.

The proper way to handle your fear and your anxiety is to accept it, recognize that it’s normal and a part of who you are, and to not even try to hide it from the woman you’re meeting.

In fact, what matters isn’t the anxiety itself, but the person’s confidence in their own ability to perform whatever action they’re anxious about.

The less competent you feel, the more the anxiety will hinder you, the more confident you are in your ability, the more the anxiety will help you.

But non-neediness simply means to feel the fear and not let it define you. Non-neediness is feeling the fear and deciding that something else is more important.

The way to attack anxieties is through incremental, consistent exposure. Not single, extreme exposure.

So for instance, you could take an afternoon or your lunch break each day and make a point to approach a few women just asking for the time. Nothing more is required, just ask what time it is. Find something easy, but repeat it regularly for a while, until it doesn’t feel difficult anymore.

It’s just a matter of knowing how to structure your exposure.

So if you want to be less nervous approaching women, don’t bother yourself worrying about how to get phone numbers or when to go for the kiss or what texts you should be writing. Just focus on approaching.

Feeling fear and acting despite it builds courage. Anytime you’re afraid to do something and feel some invisible force holding you back, yet you push through it anyway, you’re building courage within yourself.