Irony poisoning: an affliction of the mind, body, and spirit, in which the subject is disfigured, enfeebled, or otherwise harmed by chronic usage of and subsequent dependence on ironic detachment. Usually onset during adolescence (or whenever unrestricted internet access begins), the constant barrage of cynical, irony-based humor popular to contemporary times can,— without preventative measures— lead to depression, nihilism, apathy, misanthropy, despair, hopelessness, etc. in the subject, or exacerbate these symptoms if they were pre-existing.

Treatments for irony poisoning are numerous and widely accessible, as the capacity for sincerity (even at the expense of the ego) exists within us all. Common treatments include, but are not limited to: logging off, touching grass, purging the blackpill, caring about stuff, saying things that are true and beautiful, being vulnerable, unapologetically being cringe, hobbies, being /srs, believing something simply because it is a lovely idea, and more. Additionally, reading the books on this list is a great way to collapse the distance between yourself and whatever emotions you erroneously thought ironic detachment would protect you from.

Irony poisoning can be chronic and debilitating, and if left untreated: fatal (this is similar to how loneliness can kill). Luckily, it is manageable, and with treatment a full recovery is expected. Happy reading!