Justin’s Comments (group member since Mar 13, 2016)

Justin’s comments from the Science Fiction Microstory Contest group.

And I meant no criticism of your feline creation.

Yes! I totally forgot about them!!!!

Marianne conjured a Futar (or a Kzin)! Great story Marianne and I love the ending!

From the Dune universe:

Futars were a genetic human/feline hybrid created by members of the Bene Tleilax who had gone out into the Scattering, allegedly as a tool for hunting down and destroying Honored Matres during a protracted and vicious war between the two groups.

However, Futars were brought into the known universe by the Honored Matres, who kept the creatures as pets. Though dangerous and harboring only sub-human intelligence they could be controlled through intimidation, sex, and emotional imprinting, typically by their owners or designated handlers.

Yes, great work Sharon!

Chris, "do" a quick edit on your last paragraph. :) If you catch my meaning. :)

It was a tough prompt. Interesting angle you took Chris. Very different. I like it!

Tom wrote: "Critique by Tom Olbert of -- "Van Diemen’s Land" by Justin

A grim tale of a dark future of space colonies and cold deception.

The story is well-delivered in first person narrative by a free-lance..."

Hi Tom! Thanks for this good feedback. I had a hard time with this story, trying to avoid many of the usual - dare I say it - tropes.

One thing I will say, which I did not convey well was that his main drive and comm system did not just fail randomly. They were sabotaged by Colony Command so he could not return with the news that Earth was a polluted wasteland. Perhaps I could have had the Colony Command rep meet the pilot while getting off of his ship after planting explosives.

Of course, after reviewing this again I see many potential plot holes I could fly a starship through.

I did want his solitary nature to be a factor in his demise in that no one would really miss him.

Thanks again for taking the time to review my work!

Van Diemen’s Land

Now, before you go getting any bad ideas about me, I just want to state for the record that I am only a simple business man trying to make my way in the universe. So it was with a clear conscience and honorable intentions that I accepted a transport contract from Colony Command to haul a bunch of “Terran-wannabes” back to the Sol system.

They were your average mix of families, entrepreneurs, con artists and just downright homesick sad sacks who missed Mother Earth – even though they’d never set one foot on terra firma, myself included. Since many of the deep space city-states were dealing with extreme overcrowding, they were more than happy to see them go and never come back.

The cargo hauling business had been slow lately so I was more than happy to take…their money. You see, I’m mostly a loner and hauling freight fits the bill. It doesn’t talk to me and it simply listens when I talk to it. Kinda like my fembot Jennifer. What can I say? I’m not exactly a people person. But a contract is a contract and I’m one to always uphold my end of a business transaction. And that’s all this was to me, plain and simple.

My ship, the CCS Atlas, was, well, it wasn’t the newest cargo hauler out there, but it wasn’t the oldest either. After rotating out the bulk cargo modules for sleeper pods, I politely welcomed my passengers aboard.

Before we left, the Colony Command rep passed me a data wafer.

“What’s this?” I asked him.

“Advertising. Please run it while everyone’s asleep.”

“What’s it show?”

“None of your business. You’re getting paid to haul people, not get smart. Got it?”

The large sidearm in his thigh holster grew more menacing.

I held my hands up in a show of acquiescence. “You’re calling the shots bub. I just don’t want any nasty surprises.”

“There won’t be any. I suggest you get going. You don’t want to miss your launch window.”

“You got it slick. I’m off then.” I pivoted quickly and disappeared up the boarding ramp.

Once aboard I got my “guests” properly situated for the flight then promptly sealed myself off on the bridge. With everyone on ice for the sixty-day trip I could get back to my other “interests.” But now my curiosity was piqued. What was on that damn wafer?

***

Thirty-six days into the flight I finally gave in. I accessed the feed going into the sleeper pods and watched slack-jawed at where these people were headed. Beautiful new homes with the latest architecture, green, rolling hills all around, and precisely designed subdivisions nestled in perfectly cultured habitats under crisp blue skies.

Having never visited Earth, I was astounded by the amount of water on its surface. I seriously considered taking some shore leave. It had been awhile since I’d felt real planetary gravity. I could even bring Jennifer along to see the sights.

***

My first inkling of trouble began immediately after we exited hyperspace. Instead of a bright blue marble with wispy clouds, I was faced with a dingy brown ball covered in a patchy gray haze. Extensive lightning storms were visible on the dark side. Sensors still registered a high water content, but it was a putrescent green and full of pollutants.

I checked and re-checked my coordinates. It was Earth, but, but… for once in my life I was temporarily at a loss for what to do. It was 48 hours to disembarkation day and it wasn’t like I could just turn around and go back. Everyone coming aboard knew this was a one way trip and Colony Command would never let them repatriate. They’d probably shoot me down if I even attempted to dock with my sleeper pods full.

Well, the only thing I could do was head towards the new colony landing coordinates. My ship was buffeted by high winds and storms on the way down, but the Atlas was sturdy and made the descent without incident. Touching down, I surveyed the freshly minted Terrans new home. Everything from the data wafer was there, the rolling hills, the houses and neighborhoods, but they were covered in dust, dirt and debris. A nearby lake was clearly stagnant and dead.

As the cargo automates began unloading supplies, a small explosion erupted in the ship’s main drive coil and my entire communications array short circuited. One final message displayed on the monitor: “Enjoy your new life on Earth.”

(750 words in story) Justin Sewall © 2017
Reviews/critiques welcome

Tom wrote: "'Hope you feel better soon, Justin, and wish you success and pleasure with your upcoming projects.

Thanks Tom, much appreciated! Fortunately the author has extended the deadline for the first 15 minutes so I have a bit of a reprieve so I can heal up.

Marianne wrote: "Thanks for the info, Justin.. :)"

You bet!

Marianne wrote: "Justin: Congrast!

I did an audio version of my travel memoir that matched Audibles criteria, but I never followed through with it. What kind of home setup do you have? Just curious. :)"

Hi Marianne,

I have a professional sound booth in my garage - a 4' x 4' square that is 8' tall. It was given to me so I do not have to try and record audio in my coat closet. :) It is lined with acoustic foam, so it provides a perfectly quiet recording environment. I have a two channel mixing board that my microphone hooks into (the mic is on a boom arm), and the board hooks into my Microsoft Surface. I use Audacity for recording and editing. I have another microphone stand that holds my iPad mini at eye level so I can look right at it and read directly into the microphone.

I've been very pleased with the results. So I'm recording my own sci-fi novellas into audio editions and I'm on ACX and auditioning to read other books as well. I've gotten the two I mentioned and really have my hands full now.

Of course, I have a sore throat and head cold right now and can't record anything because I sound atrocious! Oh the humanity!!!

Thanks Paula!

Please let me add my congratulations to the pile. Great story Tom!!

Thanks Tom! My 16 y/o son is a high functioning autistic with some ADHD, so that's why I was interested in that title.

Thanks C!

Hello everyone!

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

As some of you may remember, I'm getting into audio book narration. Well, after being on ACX (Amazon's audio book subsidiary) for just a few short days, I've had two offers. Now I'm in the process of narrating/producing these two books:

Deceived (The Athanasian Realm Book 1)

Adult ADHD: The Complete Guide to Living with, Understanding, Improving, and Managing ADHD or ADD as an Adult

Anyway, I was just excited and wanted to share.

Best to all,

Justin

Thanks C! Much appreciated!!!!!

Confinement

We were perfect.

Or so we thought in the folly of our blinding hubris.

Having shed our corporeal limitations, we ascended into a plane of existence that opened the universe to exploration. No star, planet or galaxy was too far, and we roamed freely throughout the vast open spaces of the cosmos.

Yet there were those among us who clung to the old ways of thinking – of domination, conquest and war. They desired the sensuality of the flesh rather than the enlightened state we had striven to achieve throughout our people’s long history.

They were entreated to forego these vestigial and vulgar remnants of our bodily forms and to embrace the unity of our collective consciousness. A few were persuaded, but most were not. Those that refused set themselves up as gods or devils among the lessor forms we encountered. Thus did civil war come to our species, long after the clash of arms and sounds of weaponry had faded into our convenient amnesia.

The fallout was felt throughout the universe. Black holes, super novae and temporal rifts tore through the very fabric of space as a result of our warfare. Planets were stripped of their atmospheres, wiping out species after species – some of them sentient.

After millennia of conflict and casualties beyond counting, these heretics were defeated and captured. Their punishment: confinement for all eternity. They were expunged from our blessed union, confined within a hideous physical form and each one sealed inside a dark dungeon of stone. There, they were condemned to orbit an insignificant star of a small, lifeless planetary system – never again to terrorize and torment others.

A watch was set and I was given the responsibility to ensure they never escaped to harm anyone again.

I am so, so sorry.

I failed.

***
I.S.S Prospector mission log: July 27, 2256
Captain John Milton commanding

Today was a historic day! We simultaneously mined thousands of core samples throughout the asteroid belt. Incredibly, they all revealed the same unknown element in exactly the same layer. It’s a real head-scratcher, since the carbonaceous, S-type and M-type asteroids are all made up of completely different spectra. I’m not sure what this means for science, but we’re on the cutting edge of an amazing discovery. We plan to core deeper throughout the belt to see what else we find.

Medical note: Several members of the team have reported excruciating headaches and hallucinations bordering on waking nightmares. What concerns me is that these incidents are spread throughout the entire mining expedition with no common root cause.

***
I.S.S Prospector mission log: August 2, 2256
Captain John Milton commanding

In the wake of our first mission casualties, I am ordering all coring operations to stand down until we can conduct a full health and safety evaluation. Several teams reported drilling into large, hollow spaces within their target asteroid – then promptly dropped off the comm net.

I dispatched recon drones to each site, but only found destroyed landers and no visible signs of the crews. This is truly a sad day for man’s first joint mining mission to the asteroid belt.

Medical note: I’m afraid I’ve become symptomatic with whatever is affecting our teams. The darkness beyond seems to consume everything, despite the survey lights outside my lander. I must confess… it has become terrifying to me…

***
Christopher C. Kraft Jr. Mission Control Center – call sign “Houston”
Classified mission debrief: October 31, 2256

“Gentlemen, what you are about to see is classified at the highest level. None of this is to be discussed outside of this room under penalty of imprisonment at Luna Station.”

The grainy video from the I.S.S. Prospector black box flickered menacingly on the conference room screen.

“Houston Control this is Captain John Milton, I.S.S. Prospector. I’m declaring a bold face emergency. Mayday, mayday, mayday. It’s trying to get in and I cannot lift off….usters…malfunctioning. Good God it’s in the airlock…”

A horrific shriek filled and distorted the room’s speakers, sending a wave of fear through every engineer present. It was quickly replaced by the sound of tearing metal and venting atmosphere. Something blurred past the cabin camera followed swiftly by streams of floating viscera.

Suddenly, another engineer burst into the room – a dark figure backlit by the office light behind him.

“What is it!?” Snapped the chief engineer. “This is classified you idiot!”

“Sir! It’s the asteroids! They’re all moving!”

“Impossible! You mean one or two of them right?

“No sir, I mean all of them. Towards Earth!”

(750 words in story) Justin Sewall © 2017
Reviews/critiques welcome

Kalifer!

Oh the horror! The horror!

I may need therapy now...

C,

I chuckled. I chortled. I may have even guffawed.

Nice!