Andres’s Comments (group member since Jul 29, 2020)

Andres’s comments from the Gathering Of Dedicated Scribblers group.

Just completed my review. I'm going to add some notes at the end and send it to you.

https://www.bookleafpub.com/writeatho...

The charges for participation are $49.

The last date to register is 17 December, 2021.

The challenge will start from 18 December and will continue till 8 January 2021.

https://www.msn.com/en-in/money/news/...

Research says it takes 21 days to develop a new habit. And this maxim is what BookLeaf Publishing banks upon to initiate one to a new habit — writing. With its 21-Day Writing Challenge, BookLeaf Publishing hopes to spur the authors into writing their hearts out and to continue doing so even post this three week period, a habit that's meant to stay.

Once a participant registers for the challenge, they are supposed to submit a write-up — poems, diary entries, haiku, quotes, etc. — every day for 21 days. The team then compiles these write-ups into a draft and helps the author out with formatting, editing and illustrations, if the author so chooses, before proceeding with the book's publishing. A consultant gets assigned to the author right at the beginning to make the entire process seamless and one-stop.

The idea for the challenge was born of a short survey the company conducted amongst its team members and the authors who'd worked with it earlier. "We realized that although close to 80% of the respondents wrote in some form or the other, only about 15% of them wrote regularly as a habit. We wanted to change that," says Musavir Khurshid, CEO of BookLeaf Publishing.

But the challenge is about much more than developing a new habit, claims BookLeaf Publishing's co-founder Shivangi Verma. "People have used the platform in innumerable ways to express themselves. To talk about their broken hearts, to commemorate their failures and successes, to thank the beauty around them, to address the social wrongs around, to write notes to self meant to be read some years down the line, to publish a person's scribblings and gift them on their birthday, to record blessings and lessons for their infants. Writing does that to you, making you talk to a paper about things you normally won't to living and breathing people around you," she says.

Covid and the lockdowns have taken a huge toll on mental health. People have been and still are going through unfathomable agony, trying to come to terms with the loss of loved ones, the feeling of helplessness and the sense of emptiness. Letting it out allows a semblance of closure. "The challenge is also an attempt to encourage the authors to pen these thoughts down on paper in an effort to make sense of what one has been through and as a reminder that bad times will eventually pass," says Shivangi.

While writing down a book in itself is a task, getting it published seems to be more so. Especially for first-time authors who are just beginning to venture into the business of getting their books out there, the entire process can be quite tortuous. Besides, many of these authors at times are not even sure of their decision to take such a momentous step. At BookLeaf Publishing, we aim to make authors feel at home with the publishing process, says Musavir. "The challenge inspires confidence within the author who remains in control of each element of their book throughout. It's more about an experience worth remembering and an outcome worth cherishing."

It reminds me a lot of Arya from 'The game of Thrones' Her brother gave her Needle, it became her first sword and throughout all of her tragedy, much like what Sophia is going through, she becomes a fighter. Having a sword to her is like a child having a teddy bear. Suddenly they've dawned their cape and are ready to be the superhero the need to be.

Again, what i've read is enjoyable. Take the movie Braveheart where he loses the love of his life. The violence, the war, trauma of watching friends fall by his battle side. He has his bad dreams but he never really loses it until he knocks off Robert the Bruce's helmet. In that moment all of his fierceness, his armor crumbles and he falls into despair. He brakes down so viciously that it changes Robert the Bruce. To be that straw that breaks the back of someone you admire so much, its crushing.

Sophia could very well have that moment where your heart wrenches for her. Where she finally loses it in the shower sobbing uncontrollably.

Meanwhile, we are only on chapter 8. You have an entire story to still write. If you gave it to 20 different readers, you will get 20 different opinions. But, I would never dream of telling you how YOUR character should act/feel. Everyone has their own perspective. Keep doing what your doing, the story is going great. If you get 12 or 16 people giving you the same advice out of 20, then it might be time to listen and change some things. Until then, be thankful for the feedback and continue writing until your story is complete. Then you can go back and tweek or change things once you have your journey completed.

https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...

Remember to add a link to this topic at the bottom of your chapter submission. This way any reader can come and make contact with you. You might find another peer as well.

Uhm. If you want your character to have serious PTSD that's completely up to you, its your story, your character. Having read what I have, I would disagree with that reviewer only for the following reasons:

Every person reacts differently. Some are flight, some freeze in fright and some have fight.
Sophia is already alone, I feel her depression on not being able to make roots, to make friends, to have a home. This feels like PTSD already. I'm guessing she has a hard time sleeping the way she has a hard time trusting people which was very evident at the bar. She didn't even trust the bar tender that helped her. She didn't trust Adam who continuously saved her.
Her flashbacks make me feel like she relives the car accident with her father. This is also a symptom of PTSD.
As I reader, I feel Sophia starts becoming anxious due to PTSD and starts looking for a security blanket which usually happens to be a knife. First a plastic one which is hardly deadly, but the fact that she grabs it to make herself feel better speaks volumes about her thought process.

Again, this is your story and if you want to change it anyway, do it because you want to but I'll play devils advocate and say that you've been doing a great job so far. Doesn't mean you can't have her break down in a chapter in the future or you can't keep giving her flashbacks/hallucinations but I want you to remember that you don't have to suffer PTSD from trauma. This I am speaking on from personal experience.

Fantastic. I look forward to seeing how this story ends.

I just hit chapter 9. Are you still submitting these through the coursera coursework?

Wonderful, if my suggestions help at all I'm very fortunate to be of some assistance. I'm not sure where the story is going but its full of suspense. Right away I'm wondering, who is she hiding from, why is she on the run. Great start.

Also as I've stated before, your chapter breaks are very well done. Almost every chapter you end it by peering into a treasure chest and you find...
Keep going. I'm guessing right now that this is just a quick page turning adrenaline pumping read where your protagonist goes free at the end.

For information dumping, my protagonist will have been captured in prison and is currently being questioned by the 'law'. This will be equivalent to having captured Merlin or Gandalf and having them summarize their life story. Listening first hand to the adventure.

I will answer questions about my world building in my current 'questioning' present state and then recall the adventure when I take my reader back into the story. This will happen until the ending of my story places the protagonist into prison where the beginning of the book starts.

I've taken my world and simplified it by focusing on one city - Hamar on the planet Agria. My world names derive from a much larger background story although, the other names and items in my story will be brought in from the Bosnian language.

From the verb חמר (hamar), to begin to flow slowly.
Meaning: Red One, Rudiment
It expresses a slow progression or a tranquil flowing forth, emphasizes the beginning of such a process and is hence associated with the color red (the color of sun-rise, metal that starts to melt, grapes that start to ripen, and so on).

Agrios means "Wild" and is Inspired by the Greek Goddess Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt & All Things Wild.

This is my interpretation of the "Wild" violent city located on a planet with two suns.

https://www.writerswrite.com/how-many...

A frequently asked question is how many words are there in a short story, novel, thesis paper, etc. It is easy to get a quick word count for your own story or paper, but writers and students also understandably want to know how long a certain type of writing is.

There is not always a standard length but there are length parameters that different types of writing fit in. Below we have listed some standard word counts for different types of writing. We have also given explanations for these lengths below.

Tweet (original) - 140 characters
Tweet (2018) - 280 characters
Poem - 3 words to book length
Children's Picture Book - usually 32 pages
Chapter Length - varies greatly
Short Short Story - about 1,500 words
Short Story - up to 10,000 words
Dissertation - 100 to 200 pages (25,000 to 50,000 words)
Novelette - 7,500 to 17,500 words
Novella - 17,500 to 40,000 words
Novel - 60,000 to 100,000 words
War and Peace - 587,287 words
King James Bible - about 780,000
Longest Novel - over 3 million words
Tweets - The original Twitter length was 140 characters but Twitter upped it to 280 characters earlier this year. 280 characters is about 55 words if you use 5.1 words as the average word length. The 5.1 figure comes from a research paper that analyzed word lengths using Google Books.

Poetry Length - There are many different types of poems so length varies greatly from short haikus to epic poems, which can be book length. The shortest poem, "Lines on the Antiquity of Microbes," consists of just three words.

Picture Book Length - 32 pages is a standard picture book length in the industry as Darcy Pattison explains, but it can vary. The number of words will vary depending on the age of the reader the book is intended for.

Chapter Length: Chapter length varies greatly even within individual books. Some authors have short 2-5 page chapters while other authors may have novels with chapters that are over 10,000 words.

Short Story Length - With writing contests you will find word lengths that vary from up to 1,500 words for short shorts to up to 10,000 for short stories. Stories in the New Yorker range from 2,000 to 10,000 words according to the current fiction editor Deborah Treisman.

Dissertation Length: A study of dissertations at the University of Minnesota library system found they vary from 100 to 200 pages in length.

Novelette and Novella Length: The SFWA has a novelette ranging from 7,500 to 17,500 words and a novella ranging from 17,500 to 40,000 words in the rules for its Nebula Awards.

Novel Length: The Guide to Literary Agents puts 80,000 to 89,999 in the "totally cool" range for commercial fiction in this article. Some genres run shorter or longer than others.

Bible Length - Word Counter reports that the King James Bible is 783,137 words long.

Longest Novel: The longest novel is The Blah Story. The ridiculously long novel contains 3,277,227 words. You can find a list of more very long novels on Mental Floss.

Its a great start. If in your mind you have the inspirational idea of how everything would end, you could always write that last chapter. The happily ever after chapter or heartbreak whatever kind of ending you have in mind.

If you could write your last chapter, then you can 'blindly' write chapter to chapter knowing where your going to end up but making your way as you get there.

You're very welcome.

Fashion never makes sense. It could be something simple like taking the african tribe that wears metal rings around their necks to elongate it because they believe a longer neck defines beauty. In your world it could be fashion savvy like a diver wearing sinking stones in the ocean.

Those shoes with the skates built into them that kids wear could be the fashion and you could activate a magnetic switch which allows them to ride upside down or straight down walls. It's your world, make it up and who knows, the future might say you invented it before its time.

Two fish definitely make an instant bond between two characters. I haven't seen outlander but I've read the first book. I think the first 2/3rds of the book was really well done.

What's nice is that, if two opposites were pulled because of the time loop, ie, if your protagonist came back say, 300 years, your male could have been pulled forward 300 years. So if you enjoyed reading about New England settlements in 1853 +300, your writing in 2153 and your female is from +300 + 2453. She will of course understand how she wrongfully manipulated the device, why it was outlawed because the pull automatically changed history and the real reason it was outlawed or kept under military jurisdiction. Now she's in New England 2153, her future credits/funds have no value however, the 1853 bank notes that the male has is worth so much more which is a funny spin on things.

She's an advanced holographic security network officer who's education and experience is worth nothing however, her victim of collateral damage is an outdated 300 year old farmer that easily nails a job in the carpenters union. She constantly compares the intelligence between the two feeling superior to her good looking Neanderthal who continuously shows her the value of good morals and family ethics.

How's your novel starting? Have you got your first chapter down already?

What if your current fashion trend was to wear weighted clothing? Like the goth/punk boots were layered with iron, this is why they are platformed. This gives everyone a more balanced walk. Your advertisement would look like the shoes that firm your butt when walking but made to give a real man their 'strut'.

This could have started big in the criminal organizations because weighted clothing allowed them to fight the natural float between steps increasing the amount of inertia they accumulated from each step and outrunning law enforcement. Just like tattoos, kids started to wear the clothing because they wanted to be cool/bad and it became the fashion. Now 'float' became more sporty where roller bladers used the lesser gravity to increase their stunts. This gives you two factions between "floaters and stoners" which sounds like two drug separations but in your reality its only clothing preference.

Personally I like the idea of ramps in the future. I think everyone will be on board less skateboards, uni'wheels, electric scooters, seated segways, electric rollerblades etc. Now you don't need escalators or anything because the people are on their own personal movers. So the majority don't even notice the gravity because they stay on their moving devices. Now the gravity in your world only becomes important to your protagonist.

I'll stop after chapter 7 and wait for you to update chapter 8.

Just hit chapter 6. You're doing really well on your chapter breaks.

Just found this, if anyone is interested in Sci-Fi.

https://scitechdaily.com/xenobots-sci...

Xenobots, named after the African clawed frog, are synthetic lifeforms that are designed by computers to perform some desired function and built by combining together different biological tissues. Whether xenobots are robots, organisms, or something else entirely remains a subject of debate among scientists, with one of the researchers saying: "They're neither a traditional robot nor a known species of animal. It's a new class of artifact: a living, programmable organism."

Okay, it's a bit confusing to me but no worries.

Bleu Martini it is. I made several suggestions in chapter 1 just giving advice on writing style, after that I will simply go through the rest checking the overall story unless something specifically stands out to me.

Could you give me a name for this dance club? Whatever comes to mind, I'll write something and send it back to you.

Beata,

I'm just writing to clarify something as I begin. Sophia is called Sara in the story but referred to as Sophia by the author?