Cynthia Clara

“Since you cannot get them to change, you must change yourself so that their destructive patterns no longer work on you.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No

“However, if I do not “own” my life, my choices and options become very limited. Think how confusing it would be if someone told you to “guard this property diligently, because I will hold you responsible for what happens here,” and then did not tell you the boundaries of the property. Or they did not give you the means with which to protect the property. This would be not only confusing but also potentially dangerous.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Trauma is so arresting that traumatized people will focus on it compulsively. Unfortunately, the situation that defeated them once will defeat them again and again. Body sensations can serve as a guide to reflect where we are experiencing trauma, and to lead us to our instinctual resources. These resources give us the power to protect ourselves from predators and other hostile forces. Each of us possesses these instinctual resources. Once we learn how to access them we can create our own shields to reflect and heal our traumas.”
― Peter A. Levine, Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma

“The power of negative thinking” requires the removal of rose-coloured glasses. Not blame of others but owning responsibility for one’s relationships is the key.”
― Gabor Maté, When the Body Says No