Wow, I Really Can’t Live without My Cell Phone

So yesterday, my Samsung Galaxy S3 decided to stop charging.

At first, I was just annoyed. My phone tends to have problems charging, so it could just be a matter of my phone being a dick again and not connecting with the USB cable properly.

But after two hours, I started freaking out. Because no matter what I did, IT WOULDN’T FUCKING CHARGE.

I got a needle and toothpick and started cleaning the USB port on my phone (though, in hindsight, my inexpert hands digging around a tiny USB port with a sharp object might have been an extremely poor decision. Oh well, not like anything I was doing was working anyway!). Still, nada. Desperately, I even started watching Youtube videos on how to put a micro sim card in an old phone and how to charge a phone without a charger. Still, nothing because man, I lack so many materials.

UGGGGGH.

Then I wondered how I managed to survive without a cell phone throughout middle school and high school.

Then I realized…

Wow, I actually hang out with people my age now. OUTSIDE of classes.

(Yeah, I had a really sad, nonexistent social life in middle school and high school…)

Because I actually hang out with folks right now, I understand the convenience of texting and calling on a cell phone.

And especially because I don’t live with my parents during the school year anymore, I DEFINITELY understand the convenience.

My parents are overprotective and they tend to call me a lot. If I miss their calls, they freak out.

So when my phone decided to stop charging, I really started freaking out.

What if they call me and my phone is dead? Then they’ll fucking think I’m dead.

Then you might ask me why I can’t just tell my parents the truth. “Hey, my phone isn’t working, so uh, if I don’t answer your calls, it’s not because I’m dead.”

The answer:

I forwarded the calls from my dorm room’s landline to my cell phone.

Yeah, before, my parents used to call my landline to make sure I was in my room before 9 o’clock (thus enacting a quasi-curfew on me even though I live a few states away from them). I found ways to get around this (though I did get caught being out after 9 a couple of times and that resulted in a lot of aggravating arguments where I futilely tried to insist that I was an adult capable of making my own decisions and taking care of myself) before finally forwarding my calls without my parents’ knowledge.

So yeah, if they now decide to call my dorm room, I’m sooooo screwed.

I tried to find a solution to this problem today without much success. I walked to a local cell phone repair store only to ultimately have the nice guy there tell me he really couldn’t do anything for me. I could try to find another store to replace my USB port, but it would cost a lot of money and most stores would probably only do mail-in repairs, so I would have to be without my phone for a few days.

But then he said, “A cheaper option would probably be a wireless charger.”

Instead, I was like, WHAT?

A wireless charger? Those exist? Oh my God.

Then I Googled it and found out wireless chargers do exist.

PRAISE THE LORD!

Then I found out the price. $30.

PRAISE THE LORD!

Granted, it was $30 I would have preferred not spending, and with same day shipping from Amazon Prime, it was $36, but it was way cheaper than a repair would be. For a mail-in, it would be around $90-100 and that doesn’t include shipping & handling & the stress it would cause me to come up with excuses to my parents for a few days. And some stores would offer repairs for around $50, but that doesn’t include taxes, public transportation costs, and the stress it would cause me to go on public transportation alone (I’m a suburbs girl with a terrible sense of direction. It most likely wouldn’t have gone well).

So $36!

And yeah, the charger isn’t going to get here until tomorrow, but I can come up with excuses until then.

Seriously, though, Samsung, I love my Galaxy S3 like I love looking at hot guys, but…YOUR USB PORT IS SHADY AS FUCK.

Dudes, I looked at the reviews of the wireless charging pad I ordered, and most of them talked about how they had to buy it after their USB ports stopped working.

In a Kanye voice,

“WE WANT LIFETIME WARRANTY!”