Masquerade in Lodi spoiler discussion space
... and typo reportage zone. It is my ongoing goal to leave none for you to report, so far not met.
Anyway. As has become customary, I provide below in the comments section a place for folks who have already read the story to talk about it with each other, and for those who don't want to be exposed to spoilers to avoid.
Ta, L.
Anyway. As has become customary, I provide below in the comments section a place for folks who have already read the story to talk about it with each other, and for those who don't want to be exposed to spoilers to avoid.
Ta, L.
message 1:
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DebL
(new)
Oct 15, 2020 05:47PM
Space missing: “Orodd perception—fascinated by them?”
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When it says "... that hidden portal on infinite space she had tucked secretly about her." Was it meant to say "on"? Or was "of" perhaps intended? The meaning would change a bit if so.
I spotted that first one also, but I think there is a dash missing rather than a space: "Or--odd perception--fascinated by them?"
Sandy wrote: "When it says "... that hidden portal on infinite space she had tucked secretly about her." Was it meant to say "on"? Or was "of" perhaps intended? The meaning would change a bit if so.""on" was intended.
L.
DebL wrote: "Space missing: “Orodd perception—fascinated by them?”"Argh. Thanks.
And yes, missing dash.
L.
With Penric you told a story if a young sorcerer learning and coming into his own, in this story we see the story of a young saint in the same way. I liked her a lot! And was charmed by the whole story.
Thanks for the clarification. My mind went to the more clichè and therefore familiar 'of' initially. But as I thought about it both painted a bit different picture, and I thought the 'on' more interesting, so I am not surprised it was intended that way. I enjoyed the use of language immensely and even stopped to check the definition of a few words. Having a fairly extensive vocabulary it is a great pleasure to find the unfamiliar. Reading this story made my brain very happy as it got to wind through creative phrasings and word usages it doesn't encounter in the day to day. I will admit I figured out the villian more quickly than I typically do. Often surprise endings are a complete surprise, but I picked up on the clues easily and managed to see this one coming. Up until the introduction of Merin I had no foresight other than a feeling the lawyer would be playing a larger role later. But afterwards I felt I knew where things were going. There was still a twist or two, but Merin's actions and motivations I saw coming. In short, I loved the story! I really enjoyed the new characters, Penric and Chio's philosophical ponderings, and the use of language the most. I enjoyed the twists and unpredictability. Despite Merin being a bit transparent there was much to be surprised about. My favorite quote was " "My wits are fine, " snapped Iserne, "It's my world that's turned upside down." " because it got right to the heart and truth of so many misunderstandings. People who have not felt an earthquake to their world often mistake the shaking of those who have as being more about 'wits' and less about 'world'. Thank you for this wonderful story!
Sandy wrote: "Thanks for the clarification. My mind went to the more clichè and therefore familiar 'of' initially. But as I thought about it both painted a bit different picture, and I thought the 'on' more inte..."Thanks for the thoughtful reading!
One of the pleasures of writing the older Penric is getting to use his full vocabulary. Minus all our expressive modern locutions and metaphors, but still.
Interestingly, the stories where I gave my thesaurus the hardest workout were The Sharing Knife tales, where I was constantly checking for some simpler word to replace whatever precise polysyllable first fell out of my brain. Both worlds require about the same amount of vocabulary control for their different tech levels -- Tolkien's famous description of a flying dragon over Bywater being like an express train notwithstanding. But he was writing in British Omniscient, with a separate narrator's voice, and I am generally writing in third-person-personal, where the narrative voice is subsumed to that of the viewpoint characters and what they can know.
Ta, L.
“Wary footsteps resolved into two men in the tabards of the state shipyard—its lords administrative kept a full roster of watchmen in the area, even or perhaps especially on holiday nights, so Pen was less taken aback than they were. ”Should that be: "its lords' administration"? On second thought, I can see it as either.
Never fear your language efforts are certainly noticed, appreciated, and enjoyed! Language use and charcter development are my favorite aspects of all your novels. Perhaps the restriction you note of the narrative voice is one of the secrets to your success. I have certainly found that having to work within restrictions can make the results far more creative and productive. If I have fixed start and end points, and limited "travel methods", finding a creative path is easier than if I am starting with all possible directions to all possible things. That quickly overwhelms and stifles productivity and creativity. Sometimes people think creativity is supposed to mean bringing into being something entirely new, but I find it is really adding new to the existing piece by piece. Eventually you can end up with something entirely new, but it takes many effortful steps of creativity to get there. We have not yet invented teleportation. Notably, I often find myself using quotes and colloqualisms from your story worlds, the result of re-reading all the books enough over the years that they are just as familiar as any thing I grew up hearing verbally. It can sometimes be a great conversation starter, either of the philosophical kind, the 'you must read these books' kind, or both.
DebL wrote: "“Wary footsteps resolved into two men in the tabards of the state shipyard—its lords administrative kept a full roster of watchmen in the area, even or perhaps especially on holiday nights, so Pen ..."Nope, "lords administrative" is intended. Rather like "lords of the admiralty". A slightly archaic flavor, appropriate to the setting.
Ta, L.
Very much a spoiler for the end of the book.So, when Penric takes hold of the hands of the Saint, does he pull her into the water or allow her to help him out? Or is it intentionally left to the imagination of the reader?
Jerri, I'm pretty sure he contemplates it for half a second, and then just lets her help him up - he's coming up on 30 years old, and we all know that's when the warranty runs out.“So much food,” muttered Pen. “How many people was she expecting?”
“I believe it was a prayer,” Chio murmured from his other side.
Wow. An entire parable distilled into two lines of dialog.
Devoured it far too quickly, will love to read it again, and hear it when Grover has read the audio version.Orodd was the only typo I noticed, but the more the story consumes me the less attention I have to nitpick.
... "didn't pay much mind at he went by. Then I saw stars." -- "at" should be "as". (On the Kindle cloud reader, this was at location 1224 of 2001, or 61%.)Best of luck to Ree in convincing his parents of the value of a god as dowry...
Just finished reading a depressing book for a local book club when I saw this was out. Thanks! It was exactly what I needed!Typos: location 220ish, Their ensuing personalities are acquired from and though their succession of hosts. Through?
location 898ish: The entered the hallway. They?
I am dying to read Masquerade in Lodi! Is it going to be available for Nook? Nothing has shown up so far....
Susan wrote: "I am dying to read Masquerade in Lodi! Is it going to be available for Nook? Nothing has shown up so far...."It was supposedly uploaded at the same time as the other vendors, but may be caught up in the mess of the recent cyber-attack on Nook/B&N, which you can look up about online.
If it doesn't turn up in a few more days, we may try uploading again, but heaven knows if they're ready to receive it over there.
Last novella, Nook was first out of the gate...
Ta, L.
Lois wrote: "DebL wrote: "Space missing: “Orodd perception—fascinated by them?”"Argh. Thanks.
And yes, missing dash.
L."
This is the only thing I noticed. The whole novella is very clean, it seems.
Some general comments on the story. First, I really liked the similarity to Venice, having visited there while I was living in Europe and wandered its streets and alleyways. There are other cities that have similarities: Bruges, Amsterdam, Hamburg, but really Venice is closest to Lodi. Second, I'd have liked the Ruchia-remnant to have given a warning about the setup to Pen ahead of the disappearance; that could have happened and still the rest of the plot unfolded as written. It would have added a nice touch, I think, plus it would have allowed Pen and Des to argue about whose fault it was. Third, I have to say that Lois is getting very economical with her storytelling -- this in a positive way, using a minimum of words to paint vivid pictures of what is happening. In all, very well done. Thank you.
DebL wrote: "The cover art credit is missing."Ayup. Spotted that when I downloaded my own Kindle copy, which I do for every publication. It's part of the front and back matter my formatter puts in, so I wouldn't have seen (or not-seen) it earlier. It's on the errata list for the corrections pass, thanks!
L.
Lois wrote: "Susan wrote: "I am dying to read Masquerade in Lodi! Is it going to be available for Nook? Nothing has shown up so far...."It was supposedly uploaded at the same time as the other vendors, but ma..."
Thanks. Yes, I ran into the cyber attack problem when trying to order other e-books. It seems to be working now, and I was also able to order Penric's Travel (book) with no problem. I'll keep checking.
Loved it though doesn't feed my craving for more Pen, Nykis and the baby.Only spotted 2 of the typos and others have already mentioned them.
Thanks for a little ray of light during this hellish time.
Position 898: The entered the hallway to find it lit by dim wall sconces, and the brighter glow of a walking-lantern..Should be: They entered
Location 1695 of 2001: “He has been. Hasn’t he? You would know.”Should that be "Hasn't He?" as it's a reference to the Bastard?
I enjoyed the story and will read it again soon. I did guess Merin's part thoufh. Hopefully there will be an audio version some time next year.
We need more Chio and Riesta. The line about reclassifying Riesta from forbidding to beleaguered was possibly the line of the story.
James wrote: "We need more Chio and Riesta. The line about reclassifying Riesta from forbidding to beleaguered was possibly the line of the story."On my wishlist too. Chio and Ren will almost certainly end up together, but I want to see how Chio negotiates her compensation now that Pen has steered her in the right direction. And I hope the temple administrators who 'overlooked' this feel properly chagrined at their error. Possibly Riesta will benefit by this too
Kosigan wrote: "Location 1695 of 2001: “He has been. Hasn’t he? You would know.”Should that be "Hasn't He?" as it's a reference to the Bastard?
I enjoyed the story and will read it again soon. I did guess Merin'..."
It probably should be capped, but I'm told the corrected file just got uploaded tonight at Kindle and iBooks, so I don't think I'll make my ebooks wrangler circle back. She's still wrestling with B&N -- apparently getting stuff up there is a bit of a crap shoot even in the best of times. But we'll keep trying till we succeed. (For that special value of "we" meaning "her".)
The four reported typos and the missing art credit should be fixed in all units sold hereafter. If anyone finds any more errata... keep them a secret.
Ta, L.
(We've also tried moved the "books by" page/s to the front matter, as per some discussion under the following post, in the hopes that more people will actually see it.)
How do you pronounce Chio?Thank you for this gem of a story! I've been hoping for/anticipating the backstory on Learned Iserne since the Orphans of Raspay.
DebL wrote: "How do you pronounce Chio?Thank you for this gem of a story! I've been hoping for/anticipating the backstory on Learned Iserne since the Orphans of Raspay."
CHEE-oh.
Yep, I'd wanted to know more about Iserne, too.
I suspect Pen is the sort to leave a trail of friends wherever he goes. His correspondence is likely to get quite full and far-reaching over time.
Ta, L.
The two typos I saw are fixed in Kindle
Talli wrote: "The two typos I saw are fixed in Kindle"Excellent.
L.
I was really glad to read that Magal's demon was successfully transferred
Lois wrote: "DebL wrote: "The cover art credit is missing."Ayup. Spotted that when I downloaded my own Kindle copy, which I do for every publication. It's part of the front and back matter my formatter puts i..."
Just curious. Was it Ron Miller? Lovely cover; I love Chio's dress!
Chio reminds me of the Heyer feisty teen . . . but instead of being all fire and flight, she's got a certain steadiness to her because of being god-touched. (-: I mean, she still does silly teen things like not let Penric know where she's going, and thinking she can handle anything. But she's smart, and she's got the eye of a God on her (although, as we all know, that can be a mixed blessing. It certainly was for the poor guy who got his head bashed in and lost his doublet -- although the Bastard made things right for him, too, in the end).
Michaeline wrote: "Lois wrote: "DebL wrote: "The cover art credit is missing."Ayup. Spotted that when I downloaded my own Kindle copy, which I do for every publication. It's part of the front and back matter my for..."
Yep, that was Ron. He had to endure a lot of my fussing over details, but I hope the end result works for most readers.
Thanks for the review on Eight Ladies Writing! That's just the sort of outreach these self-pubbed works need. So I don't keep getting, months down the line, "What, there's a new Bujold out? How did I miss it?" (Or, worse, "Bujold? She's still alive...?")
Ta, L.
Hello I just read this yesterday, and greatly enjoyed it. I was very happy to find out that everything with the Fox Demon was happily resolved.I have a general question regarding Desdemona that I've been curious about for a long while. Is this a good place to ask?
The Vorkosigan series is one of my all-time favorites.
Yuliya wrote: "Hello I just read this yesterday...I have a general question regarding Desdemona that I've been curious about for a long while. Is this a good place to ask?..."
Sure.
L.
Regarding Desdemona. I'm really curious to know what she would do if transferred to an inappropriate person/If she was ascended. She knows that being ascended is bad. Like if someone murdered Penric, and there was no one else nearby. Would she possess the murder and go to a Temple? Given her knowledge, would she still be able to regulate the chaos she produces?Thanks!
Yuliya wrote: "Regarding Desdemona. I'm really curious to know what she would do if transferred to an inappropriate person/If she was ascended. She knows that being ascended is bad. Like if someone murdered Penri..."Well, I have no intention of ever letting Pen be murdered, so I have no way of writing my way to a definitive answer. There are lots of possibilities, open to fannish speculation. Feel free. For starters, I could point out that demons are carcinogenic; if Des were peeved enough with her new possessor, metastasis could happen very fast.
Ta, L.
Didn't Des imply some pretty nasty things she'd do to the brothers? And that was when she and Pen were newly acquainted.Anyway, my question is could you explain titles in Lodi? Mira was Sora but in this book we also have a Ser and Sera like on Komarr.
On my second read - not allowed to mention on page 76/102, "not allowed of run out of oil" - right?
Talli wrote: "On my second read - not allowed to mention on page 76/102, "not allowed of run out of oil" - right?"Arfg. You are right. We'll see about further corrections.
L
Talli wrote: "Didn't Des imply some pretty nasty things she'd do to the brothers? And that was when she and Pen were newly acquainted.Anyway, my question is could you explain titles in Lodi? Mira was Sora but i..."
Regional accents...?
Couldn't be author failing to look it up, oh no. (The honorifics all came from the Italianate Ser in the first place, so an easy lapse, actually.)
Not circling back to change that one, though.
L.
...Upon, consideration, the term Sor seems a bit too much like the English word sore, inviting confused or risible misreadings. Another reason to let well enough alone.
Well, it's been over a hundred years--long enough for the pronunciation to shift, as far as I'm concerned.
Lois wrote: "Michaeline wrote: "Lois wrote: "DebL wrote: "The cover art credit is missing."Ayup. Spotted that when I downloaded my own Kindle copy, which I do for every publication. It's part of the front and..."
Ron did such a super job with this! He always does a good job, but I love, love, love the dress. And the lanterns! The colors and everything! This may be one of my favorite covers so far.
“Not that he couldn’t just seize a small boat, if he was strong enough [to] drag it to the water by himself.”
DebL wrote: "“Not that he couldn’t just seize a small boat, if he was strong enough [to] drag it to the water by himself.”"I've been hunting for that. First time I saw it couldn't decide if it was intentional and forgot to mark it. Could also just be a missing comma
DebL wrote: "“Not that he couldn’t just seize a small boat, if he was strong enough [to] drag it to the water by himself.”"Grf...
Thanks?
L.
(Interestingly, a lot of these are missing words. Apparently my eye is bad at catching such, plus of course they don't show up on Spellcheck. Which I'm unconsciously trained to ignore anyway because it's so stupid about grammar.)
Authors are notoriously bad at proofreading their own stuff, particularly at finding missing or incorrect words, since their eyes see what they expect to see. Reading your writing out loud to yourself can help, but better is to have someone else read the draft out loud.
