H.A. Larson's Blog, page 21

A Plot Twist

Back in December, I did a cover reveal for my new book, Buried. While I still have every intention of finishing that book, it has taken a backseat to a different project. It isn't a new project...but it is. See, the whole time that I've been writing books, I've also been slowly but surely writing a collection of short stories. 
There are two reasons I write short stories: story ideas and thoughts of publication. Basically, I constantly have a stream of thoughts and ideas for stories and plots. Some of them can be told in less words than others, so my collection of short stories became a thing. I always figured that I'd submit them, after some polishing of course, to various magazines to see if I could get some published - something I've never actually done.
Not long ago, I was going through my writing files and noticed just how many short stories I had in various stages of completion. I thought about how I had dreams of getting them published, but realized that that might not be a reality. Getting short stories published in a competitive market is difficult. Not impossible, mind you, just difficult.
Instead, a new idea began to take shape in my thoughts: what if I published them as a compilation book? The more I thought about it, the more it sounded like a killer idea. So, I've been steadily working on them, and thoroughly enjoying it. I've even begun to release one as a series in my monthly newsletters, so if you'd like a sneak peak, sign up for that.
This compilation book is exactly what I needed to spark that burning desire to write again, something that wasn't fully there as I worked through deep personal struggles. Now that I've regained my foothold in life, my writer's drive is back. I mean, really back. 
As is my M.O., these short stories are all of the spooky and horror variety. I've even made the cover - of course - so there's no need to wait to reveal it. Take a look:



I hope you're ready to consume this book and the darkness contained within.

Have a great week!



http://www.halarsonauthor.com/2020/03...

Taking the Stairs

Walking has been my thing for a long time, but it has only been my passion for a couple of years. I walk the 0.85 miles to work and the 0.85 miles back as well as walking 2-3 miles on my lunch break. I thought all this walking would keep me hiking-ready for the trails. While it definitely has kept me in shape and has helped me be conditioned for hiking, it hasn't been the best way to train for hiking. A few really hard, difficult climbs gave me a greater awareness of that.
I pushed on anyway, but somewhere in January, I got tired of my lunch walk. Sure, it was colder, but I was used to that. What was it about my lunch walk, then, that I didn't like anymore? Well, mainly I was bored with it. There are only so many routes to take and after nearly a year, I've taken all of them. Also, that walk takes up a better part of my lunch break, and I do have other things I'd like to be doing on my lunch break besides walking - like reading, taking notes for story ideas, and watching videos on a variety of topics.
So, for about a month, I quit my lunch walks while I read a book that a friend lent to me. After I finished the book, I decided to go back to my lunch walks but ran into the same issues. Regardless, I pressed on until one super-cold, windy and bitter day. That day, while I wanted to get some exercise, I didn't want to deal with the extreme cold...after all, I don't bring all my cold-winter gear to work. Instead, I had a genius idea. I work on the second floor of a three-story building, so why not walk up and down the three flights of stairs a few times?
The first time, I walked up and down 5 times, and, man, was that a workout. I was breathing heavily and sweating pretty good. The next morning, my legs felt sore like I had done a decently inclined hike. I realized that I was on to something. I was getting a better workout - and one that was better hiking training - in a much shorter period of time. The next day, I decided to try a different stairwell as the one I used the day before was narrow and heavily trafficked. What I found was a set of stairs that went from the basement to the roof for a total of five floors! I walked up and down 3.5 times and I was exhausted. 
That week, I did 3.5 flights every lunch break, and the next week I bumped up a flight to 4.5. My plan is to do the stairs at a certain amount and then bump up an extra flight every two weeks. I can already tell the difference it has made in my life. What also makes stair-climbing on my lunch break so great is that it only takes around 12-13 minutes of my time so I can still go eat my lunch and read for a while. 
I've also kept it up on the weekends by going to the local park that has a long flight of stairs and making the rounds 8-9 times. Only my next major hike will tell how useful all this stair-climbing will be, but I'll make sure to share my results.
I hope you have a great weekend! The weather is going to be gorgeous here, so hiking is definitely on the agenda...and maybe a bit of stair-climbing.

Saying Goodbye is Never Easy

I need to write this post but I've struggled with the right words or how to deliver them. So, I'm just going to dive in, head first.
No one gets married with intentions of getting divorced, and I was no exception. When I got married, I was completely in love with my husband and expected to be married until one of us died. Sure, we had our problems but I was confident that we could weather any storm. 
I was wrong. 
Life changes, and so do we. The fluid nature of life sometimes causes the way we feel about things and the way we look at the world to change. And that's okay. Holding on to things that no longer suit us is detrimental.
But, saying goodbye is often hard, no matter how much you feel you're ready for that moment. I struggled with my goodbye for a long time, flip-flopping back and forth between hello and goodbye before I finally came to the utter realization that the latter was the right one. Still, it took a long time before I could finally let that goodbye float off into the wind to be freshened by the breeze. Truth be told, I half-heartedly said goodbye a handful of times before the final one.
There are a lot of emotions that come into play in a situation like this. It's never easy to just walk away from something that you've been a part of for the better part of twenty years and just pretend like it didn't matter. Because it did matter. I had all those years of memories, good and bad, and two children that we raised together. More than that, we started from a place of deep, strong emotions of love, friendship, and partnership.
Over the years, those emotions turned into different emotions. We both struggled internally with things, he more than I, and that had a lasting impact on our relationship. Because of this, he changed drastically. I changed as well, but in a different way. I blossomed into a different kind of person, and he, into the person he hid for so very long. When the dust settled, we weren't right for each other anymore. Add on to that layers of fights, deceit, and betrayal, and you had a lighted match at a powder keg. We were ready to explode...and we did.
While we said our goodbyes to what we were, we said hello to a new version of us. This new version sees us as friends, co-parents, and supporters of each other in times of trouble. It's a good version. In fact, it's much better than the old version. Change isn't always bad, but it can be difficult to get through.
Saying goodbye is never easy, but sometimes it's inevitable.
When one door closes another one opens.

Hiking Basics: How to Outfit your Backpack

One hiking item that I find essential is a hiking backpack. Whether you're a day-hiker or a multi-day trekker, having a pack is important. Hiking is a strenuous activity, and you should always take basic gear even on the simplest of treks. I learned this the hard way, trust me.

When hiking was but a twinkle in my eye and my kids were still quite little, I decided to start being more active. This led us to take what we thought would be a few-mile walk around a local man-made lake. It had paved trails and a couple of playground/picnic areas around it.

The idea was that we would spend the hour or so that we thought it would take to walk around the lake, then have a picnic when we returned to the car. Turns out, the path around the lake is 7 miles long and we didn't realize it until we were too far in to do anything other than to continue. We made it to one of the picnic areas and stopped to rest while we let the kids play on the playground equipment. My daughter fell off the jungle gym and got a nice bump on her forehead while my son cut his hand on a rock.

Here we were, without water, snacks, first aid supplies, or anything else that would've made this trek so much easier, bearable, and practical. I definitely learned my lesson on this trip, and when I got home, I found one of my son's old school backpacks and roughly outfitted it with some basic first aid supplies I had in my closet. Whenever we would go hiking after that, I'd fill it with some water bottles and whatever snacks I had around before we left, and we were somewhat prepared.

Over time, as my hiking prowess advanced and progressed, so too has my hiking pack. I am on my second actual hiking pack (school backpacks suck for real hiking) and I have it outfitted to my liking and for the level of hiking I do. Here's what I have and why:



This is my second actual hiking backpack. This one is different than my old one in that this one has a 3.5 L water bladder. My old pack didn't have one so I had a large water bottle instead. After taking longer and more challenging hikes, a water bottle isn't enough water and on top of that, water bottles take up a lot of room in your pack. 3.5 L of water is close to a gallon, and it has a tube that you can just unclip from your straps to take a drink from when you need it. I take it out of the pack for my regular hiking as just one water bottle is typically enough for those treks. Not having to take your pack off every time you want a drink is a lot nicer. This pack also has as much room to store stuff as my old one, but now that I don't have to carry a water bottle, I have room to store the layers I dress in for hikes.
Let's take a look at what's inside of my pack.



From upper left going clockwise: 
flashlight: for when you need more light or are on the trails after the sun goes downrain poncho: sometimes it rains without warning and this will keep you and your pack dryemergency tent: for dire emergencies when you need shelter and there is none aroundbug spray: no one likes to get bit on the trailpocket knife: useful for cutting but also for protection if needed utility tool: small and usefulemergency whistle/compass combo: if you get injured on the trail and aren't where you can easily be found, blowing the whistle constantly will alert someone to your position while the compass can help you right yourself if you get disorientedwaterproof matches: there are several inside this waterproof container and can light a fire under awful conditions. Fires are good for heat and cooking food in the case of an emergency.

While the chances of me needing the emergency tent, waterproof matches, and the emergency whistle are slim, they don't take much room in the pack (as you can see) and would be a lifesaver in the event of a true trail emergency. The utility tool was a clearance item I picked up at Walmart for $1.50 and has a knife-edge, a saw edge, a screwdriver corner, and a few other things on it that made it quite useful. Again, it doesn't take up much space and it has its own plastic sleeve. 



From upper left going clockwise: 
a few paper towels in a baggie: paper towels are so handy and can be used as napkins, to wipe off sweat, or a host of other thingsa travel pack of tissues: sometimes you need to blow your nose!a few feminine supplies in a baggie: as a woman, sometimes our periods aren't regular or we might forget to pack some on flow days, so I always carry two or three in my packtwo carabiners: helpful for hanging your pack or items off your packa travel-size hand sanitizer: after going to the bathroom, getting your hands covered in some unknown gunk, or if your hands get sticky after a trail snack, hand sanitizer is handy. I also use it for times when you get a small cut or scrape. Getting some sanitizer on and into the wound, while painful, will disinfect it right away.chapstick: lips get chapped, especially on hikes higher up or when it's dry or hota few hair ties and bobby pins: I have long hair and sometimes I won't think I want my hair up...until I'm sweating on the trail. I often use these for my daughter who likes her hair down.a few q-tips in a baggie: an item I threw in my bag because sometimes you just need one and can also be good for cleaning up small wounds

While I'm not a climber, I like to have at least one carabiner in my pack, but I have two. They're great for the regular hiker to hang your pack from a tree branch or the like when you don't want it to sit on the ground - which is great for muddy or snowy days - and they're also great for hanging cumbersome items off your pack as you hike. This last part is particularly true of hiking poles (sometimes you really don't need them and carrying them is a pain) as well as items of clothing that won't all fit in your pack (this is particularly true in the winter when you wear more layers but ultimately strip more off than will fit in your pack). 
I keep certain items in baggies for two reasons: to keep them protected, and to serve as small trash bags as there's no place to throw away items on the trail so you have to bring them back out with you.



From upper left going clockwise:
first aid kit with an emergency blanket: one of the most important items in a hiker's pack. This one has an emergency blanket and goes hand-in-hand with the emergency tent.a large baggie with trail maps of trails I hike often, a pencil, and a small pad of paper: trail maps are always useful as are pencil and paper for taking noteswipes: great for the bathroom breaks you hope you don't have to takea Clif bar: trail snacks help keep your energy up when you're burning calories

Having a compact yet comprehensive first aid kit is essential. I firmly believe everyone in your hiking party should carry their own. The ones we carry are soft but hold a lot of items. I also picked this particular kit because it has an emergency blanket inside. If it didn't, I definitely would have picked some up for each of our packs because, again, while the chances are slim that I'll never need one, it would be a lifesaver in a true trail emergency. I also pack each one with information about the person who's carrying it should you be found unconscious. This way, the emergency responders will know your name, address, phone number, doctor, and who to contact in an emergency. The emergency contact is always someone who doesn't hike with me in case that person is on the trail with me.
Wipes are great for those trail bathroom trips you hope you don't need to take but happen. These particular wipes were on clearance so I purchased them. If you use them on the trail, put them in a baggie and cart them back out with you!
Trail snacks are also essential, especially for harder hikes, so how many I carry on a hike depends on the hike. I never like to eat much on the trail, but Clif Bars are great to nibble on here and there for a bit of energy. Nuts and fruit are other items I'll pack the day of for longer hikes as well.


Now you know what items I carry in my pack. They don't take up a lot of room and I've learned to pack them compactly. The picture of my pack up top shows it fully packed and, even with the water bladder full, isn't terribly heavy. As you can see, I carry the bug spray in one of the outer side pockets. For regular, short hikes, I usually stick my water bottle on the one on the other side instead of using the big water bladder. 
Going from my personal experience over years of hiking, these are the items I believe are essential, practical, and useful. You, of course, might find other items that fit these criteria that I do not use. How you pack your pack is strictly up to you, but if you have the items I've detailed, you'll be in good shape for nearly every hike. 
As a note, I don't consider hikes that you have to use climbing gear as equal. I'm a hiker, not a climber. Climbers will have different kinds of items and gear that are essential. Also, multi-day hikes where overnight stops are required, or grueling hikes will require more and different kinds of gear. For practical purposes, what I carry in a pack and recommend for you, are day hikes - hikes you can do in the space of a day.
Happy hiking!

Why your 40s are Amazing

Me on my trek up Bear Butte

My 40s, in general, have been the best decade of my life. Does this mean I haven't had my share of struggles? Absolutely not, but there has been so much good that it outweighs the bad. For me, the decades between my youth and now have been highly transformative.

The 20s were all about figuring out the twisting, windy road that is adulthood. Making the transition from being a child to being an adult was a difficult one. Lots of mistakes were made, many dangerous situations were experienced, and a host of bad decisions were garnered. It's the nature of the beast.

The 30s were a little better in that I got a better grasp on this whole adult thing. I was a mom with two kids, working a low-paying job, and just starting to figure out finances. Mistakes were still made, but nowhere near to the same degree as in my 20s.

The 40s, by contrast, have been completely different. By the time my 40s dawned, I had motherhood down to an art, I realized the importance of my health and took control of it, I grasped finances in a skillful way, and I learned how to budget and plan for retirement.

But, by far, the greatest thing that happened in my 40s was my emotional transformation. I started figuring out who I was and what I wanted from my life. I learned that it was okay to say no and decided what it was I DIDN'T want from my life. I also gained a sense of self-worth and confidence that eluded me all the years up to that point. There's also 40-some years of wisdom that I've gained. This wisdom has helped me make better choices and smarter decisions.

The 40s are also great because I finally settled into a career path that pays decently and has decent benefits. I flitted around from job to job for years trying to find the right fit for me. Now that I have found that fit, it's nice to be grounded at a place that provides well and that I enjoy.

My kids are also nearly grown. This gives me a lot more freedom of movement. I can go out and enjoy time with friends or dates without having to worry about finding a sitter and when we do things together, I can take them to do more challenging activities. My kids being older means that I am closer to being an empty-nester and living out the next phase of my life, something I am looking forward to.

But, as my 40s wind down to a close, I know that there are so many great years ahead of me. The growth of my 40s will only serve me well in the decades to come. I know that those decades will be great ones as well, and I'm ready to see what they hold in store for me.

Have a great week my friends!

Cabin Dreamin'

Not my cabin, but oh, how I wish!

When I was in my 20s, I had a hearty obsession with cabins. I happened across a copy of a log home magazine somewhere, probably a doctor's office, and became instantly enthralled. After a few years, my obsession was replaced with whimsy and I haven't given it much of thought since that time. Recently, however, the dream revived itself and thoughts of cabin life have been swirling around in my brain.

When I think of future goals, moving away from Omaha is high on that list. Once I get both of my kids out and on their own, I'd like to hang my hat somewhere new. There are two scenarios that would be my ideal: living in a condo in the heart of Dubin, Ireland, or living in a quaint log cabin somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. The former has been a planted seed for a few years while the latter is partially another planted seed of where I'd live stateside combined with my renewed interest in cabins.

In looking at my predilection for cabin-living, it's not hard to imagine. I mean, I am a Nature Girl at heart. I love nothing better than being outdoors and living in a cabin in the woods would be the perfect complement to that. I can see myself sitting on the porch, staring at the gorgeous scenery around me, in the morning when I'm drinking my coffee, in the afternoons relaxing after a hike, and in the evenings with a hearty fire flickering in a pit nearby.

Will I make my dream a reality? We shall see.


Do you have a dream house? Tell me about it in the comments.

Ghost Cat

Photo courtesy of Adam Pomerinke: https://www.flickr.com/photos/adampomerinke/462305798
It all started one day, late last year when I was sitting on my daughter's bed with her talking one afternoon. She abruptly stopped mid-sentence, stared out into the hallway, and said, "Oh, I thought I saw Zuki." Zuki is the name she gave the cat that is kind of ours. I say "kind of" because the cat doesn't belong to us, rather she has adopted us and comes and goes as she pleases. While Zuki wasn't in the house during that time, my daughter thought she had seen her out in the hallway. She shrugged it off and so did I.
A month or so later, I was sitting at the dining room table, listening to music on my headphones, when out of the corner of my right eye, I saw a cat walk out from the kitchen and into the living room. I turned to look and saw...nothing. I had put Zuki outside earlier and knew she wasn't in the house, so my confusion was strong. Again, I shrugged it off but I couldn't shake the feeling that I had seen a dark-colored cat - for perspective, Zuki is mostly white.
A few more times between then and now, I have seen the cat, always out of the corner of my eye. I started mentally referring to it as "Ghost Cat" because this cat is definitely not a living, corporeal thing.
This past week, my daughter has been home for the majority of it sick, so I stayed home with her a few times to keep an eye on her fever. We were sitting on my bed talking when I suddenly thought about Ghost Cat and that time she mentioned she thought she had seen Zuki in the hallway. So, I asked her, "Do you ever see the ghost cat?" She answered, "All the time." 
We started talking about something else, not dwelling on the topic at all, which is weird on both our parts. Typically, I know one of us would've talked about it in more detail. It's almost like we don't want to talk about it. While Ghost Cat isn't scary, not in the least, it's still a bit odd. Odd in the sense that there's something in your house that you can't exactly see, but you know it's there. While it is odd to have a ghost cat, I have an instinctive desire to pet it. 
I have to wonder where Ghost Cat came from. We've lived in this house for a decade and it's only been a handful of months since Ghost Cat came to stay. Is it a neighbor's cat that has passed on? Is it the ghost of a cat that lived here years ago that is now just making its presence known? Or, is it a stray that had no home? I almost think it's the latter. After all, we love cats, especially my daughter, and she loves to make friends with strays. Like Zuki is attached largely to my daughter, so too seems to be Ghost Cat. 
Maybe we'll give it a name. 

You are who you Create

Life for me, as it is with most people, is a series of ups and downs, failures and successes, and trials and tribulations. It is these series of lows and highs that help us become the person that we're meant to be. After all, if we don't experience the good with the bad, how do we grow? How do we learn? How do we become wiser?
For years, I tried to figure out my place in the world...to figure out who I was. What I discovered was that there was nothing to figure out. You are who you create. In other words, what I am is a creation of my life experiences, the choices I've made, the people I've known, and the activities I engage in. More than that, this is not a static process, but rather a fluid one. Who we are evolves and changes as time goes on, and doesn't stop until the day we die. And if at any time, we decide we don't like who we are or where we're going, we can make the necessary changes to remedy that. There's no need to stay the same.

The realization that I create who I am was tremendous for me. Not only does it free me from this need to figure out who I am, but it also lets me plan and shape my future accordingly. What a novel idea, right? It's so simple that I'm actually a bit disappointed that I didn't figure this out sooner.

I have a new, refreshed purpose for my life now. I am no longer waiting for my "true form" to reveal itself, but rather I'm shaping my future by envisioning how I'd like that future to be. I'm embarking on a new quest for knowledge, something I had previously thought I had closed the door on permanently. This will take me on an entirely different path than the one I was on, and one I never would have envisioned just a few short months ago.

In essence, I am creating a new me. The core part of who I am will always be the same, but the rest of me is changing. It always was, honestly, I just couldn't see it for what it was. I am who I create and I am creating a me that I never could have envisioned.

To the future!

Coffee Talk: It's Been a While

I was having my morning cup of coffee the other day when it dawned on me that it's been a while since the last time we had a coffee talk. In fact, when I looked it up, it's been since September. Bearing that in mind, we definitely need to have some coffee and chat.
I was lax and didn't put up my usual weekly post, but I had a good reason: I've been quite busy this week. I work at a University and a few weeks ago, classes started up for the new semester. I have been swamped since then taking care of the myriad of things for our faculty and for the department that my days have been flying by. I actually enjoy being busy because time goes incredibly slow when you're bored and because the weekends come that much quicker. 
At home, I've been busy, too. Mainly, I've been working on some short stories for my newsletter and for a project (more on that to come later). I've also made a conscious effort to cut way back on my social media usage, so I've been reading a lot, both at home and on my lunch breaks at work, as well as watching documentaries on topics I have an interest in. 
Another thing I've been getting back into is preparing and making food. It seems so trivial, cooking food, but between depression and not wanting to do anything after getting home from work, my and my kids' diet had started to consist mainly of easy, processed junk. So, I restocked my pantry and now make a good, healthy meal every evening that I can also take to work for leftovers the next day for lunch. I won't go into a lot of detail about this as I'll make a post about it later.
The other week, I had lunch with a co-worker from my old position on campus. She knows about the class I'm planning to take and asked me if I knew about the SAC Fund. I had no clue what that was, so she filled me in. Apparently, the SAC - which is the Staff Advisory Council - had started a pilot program to offer staff a chance to take elective training or classes in the name of professional development. Since the class I'm taking does relate to my current position, I applied. I was thrilled to find out that I was awarded the funds to pay for that first class. It's not much in the scheme of things, but it's tremendous for me. Not only does it help me out financially, but it really helps to boost my morale, as well. 
I have to say that I'm really looking forward to the weekend. I have some fun, simple plans and the weather is supposed to be nice. January is the hardest month to get out and hike on the weekends, so I'm looking forward to getting out on the trails again. I haven't forgone the trails entirely this month, it's just been more of a challenge. The temperatures have been warm enough that hiking in the snow is akin to trudging through sand. It's difficult and not that much fun if I'm being honest.
My newsletter will be coming out in the next few days and it will include a new short story series. This means if you haven't already, that you should sign up for it. You can do so by clicking the menu button in the upper left-hand corner. 
Happy Friday!

The Crushing Weight of Grief

The last thing I expected to start off the first day of the New Year with was devastating news, yet, that's exactly what happened. Word came from one of the few people I keep in contact with from high school that one of our classmates had died in a terrible accident. Now, before I get more into that, I need to provide the backstory.
I grew up in a small, sleepy Iowa town during the 1970s and 80s. The population topped out at 350 and everyone knew everyone else. There was no such thing as strangers. There were, give or take a person here and there over the years, 18 people in my graduating class. Matt was one of them. 
I knew Matt since the first grade when Dad moved me from the city back to his tiny hometown. In third grade, he became my first boyfriend and delivered my first kiss in the lunch line one day. While our blossoming romance didn't last long, we remained classmates and friends. He was popular but he wasn't a jerk like many of the other popular kids, and his laugh was immediately recognizable. He was into Led Zeppelin, muscle cars, and was liked by everyone.
Inevitably, as time has a tendency to do, we all graduated and went our separate ways. Matt was one of the handfuls of people that never strayed far from home while I was one of those that did. While we both struggled and slogged through our respective lives, miles and states apart, we both had our roots in our quaint little town.
It was these roots that brought me home from time to time to visit my dad - who moved to the next town over after I graduated high school. On one of those visits, I found out where he lived and knocked on his door one winter night in 2002. At that time in our lives, we were both struggling. I had just come out of an abusive relationship with my son's dad and was trying to get a fresh start by staying with my dad for a brief time. Matt was living with a much younger girl, working for his dad fixing cars, and deep in the throes of meth addiction.
Even though I woke him up out of a dead sleep, he was genuinely happy to see me. We hugged and laughed like the old friends we were at the sight of one another. I sat on the battered couch in his tiny one-room dwelling and him on his bed while we talked for hours, bridging the divide between all the years. Before I left, I invited him to the birthday party I was having for myself. He did come, and we all had a fun time.
It wasn't long after that that I moved to Omaha and started a life here, but I still made frequent visits back to the town I grew up in. On one of those visits, I got directions to his house out in the country, where he had moved and married the much younger girl. Little did I know that this visit would be the last time I ever saw him.
It wasn't the last time I talked to him, however. Social media giant Facebook, with all its pitfalls and negative points, has been a great way to reconnect with people that, in the past, you'd probably never see nor hear from again. When Matt joined Facebook, I was already a seasoned veteran and quickly friended him. It wasn't long before we chatted over Messenger from time to time, but after his second divorce, we talked a lot more frequently and in-depth. 
The last time we talked through messages, we made plans to get together the next time I was in his area. Unfortunately, that never happened....and it never will.
On New Year's Eve of 2019, Matt was working on a car at his home and the car fell on him. He died later in the hospital, news that reached me via the only other person in my old class that I care for deeply. To say the news was shocking is an understatement. The devastation, palpable. The grief, unbearable. I have tears in my eyes as I type this, it hurts so much.
I grieve for many things: his family, his friends, the realization that life is short, and the loss of time. But, most of all, I grieve for my friend. I miss you. Even though our lives were so different and lived far apart, you were always a part of me. 
Requiescat in Pace, my friend.


"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." - found on an Irish tombstone