H.A. Larson's Blog, page 22

The Power of Experiences

Over the years, I've talked a lot on this blog about living a life of adventure. To me, life is meant to be lived to the fullest, regardless of the constraints that hold some people back: location, money, and time being the biggest factors. For years, I let these three things hold me back from doing much of anything until I changed my attitude. Slowly but surely, I learned to experience all that I could with what little time I have away from work (there's more than you think), with limited funds (it doesn't take much, if any, money to have adventures and envious experiences), and with where I lived (turns out, there's adventure to be had no matter where you are).
It started with a desire to not only live a life full of adventure and rewarding experiences for myself but, by default, my children as well. Now, years later and with more money at my disposal, I still live by the simplistic idea of gifting my children with experiences that money cannot buy.


My kids climbing the rocks at Devil's Tower in Wyoming.
They've learned to appreciate and love museums, day trips, picnics, festivals, hiking, and they have a tremendous love for the great outdoors - just like me. 


My daughter gazes into the Devil's Icebox at Rock Bridge Memorial State Park in Missouri.
When the kids were younger and I was flirting with the poverty line - something that plagued me for many years - I used to feel ashamed and guilty that I couldn't buy them all the things that their friends' parents did for their friends. Instead, I gave them what I could: experiences. 


My kids stop for a drink and a snack on our way back down from the top of Bear Butte in South Dakota.
Even though I can now afford to buy them things and take them to do things that cost money - and we do, do these things - we still strive to fill our lives with exciting and fun experiences done with a sense of adventure. Because you know what? A life filled with amazing experiences and adventure is infinitely a lot more fun. My kids look back on all those poor years as being fun and exciting because it was! 


My son walks on a trail in the forest of Neale Woods in Nebraska.
I give my children the gift of experiences whenever possible. Because of this, they love & respect nature, they think museums are cool, they love taking day trip adventures to explore where we live, and they think picnic sandwiches are the best sandwiches. 


My kids look out over the landscape from the top of the Loess Hills ridges in Waubonsie State Park in Iowa.

Life is short, and it isn't meant to be lived exclusively from a couch or a chair. You don't need to give your kids things. Things are material and don't last forever. Experiences, however, do last forever. My kids will never forget standing at the top of Black Elk Peak - the highest point in South Dakota and the highest point between the Rocky Mountains and the Pyrenees in France - and looking out over the world. For them, nothing I could ever give them would rival that amazing experience. Nothing.

Living Life in the Real World

Image courtesy of mpora.com

Recently, I've found that I am less and less interested in spending time on my phone perusing the various social media sites that I've made a large part of my life. When I look back on it, I've spent an inordinate amount of time over the years on social media. Most of that time has been spent on Facebook with Instagram, YouTube, and a game that I play taking up the rear. If it's not one of those, I'm just doing various things with other phone apps. It's like I almost couldn't bear to spend more than a few seconds away from my phone. Honestly, it was completely ridiculous and I dare say...an addiction.

I don't know if there was anything in particular that got me thinking I was done with it all, but it happened nonetheless. One day, I just didn't feel like wasting all of my free time staring and scrolling through status after status, story after story, meme after meme, and photo or video after photo or video. I deleted the Messenger app and my game and slowly moved away from using Facebook - although I have kept it, for now.

I do need to say a couple of things:

1. I'm not trying to make other people feel bad about using social media. These are just my personal reflections on myself, my life, and my own social media usage.

2. I feel that social media can be a great thing and, to that end, I still use it for all of my author-related things. I'm talking strictly my use as it pertains to my regular life.

Since I all but stopped using social media, I find myself spending my free time away from work actually getting things done that I need to get done. I'm enjoying hobbies that I haven't indulged in, in quite a long time, such as reading, watching documentaries and baking. I'm spending more quality time with my kids, making meals together, talking, and playing games.

What I've noticed most about cutting loose the strings that bound me to social media is just how present I feel in my own life now. I'm engaged, active, and free of the distractions that social media inadvertently give us. It's exactly the same effect that I experienced when I started uninstalling my social media apps during my vacations, but now I can live that way virtually all of the time. I do admit that it was kind of a weird thing to get used to, at first as I am so used to grabbing my phone to check social media that I still do it blindly. I'm sure that will pass with time.

Have a great weekend. I hope you do something fun and adventurous.

The Accidental Mentor

One of the resolutions I had for the new year was to really own my job and make it my own. For the first time in my working life, I feel like I have a career instead of a job, and I'm enjoying it. My boss is a busy man who can really frustrate me sometimes, but there are times when he really nails the whole boss thing. A moment recently drove that point home.
Unlike some bosses I've had in the past, he not only genuinely wants to see me succeed, he sees my potential and fully expects me to move upwards and outwards, if the case may be. We were having a conversation not long ago where I mentioned that there was a peer-led activity that I didn't go to (it wasn't mandatory) because I was busy and didn't want to take the time away from my tasks to attend. My boss, in his infinite wisdom, said, "Well, I'm not telling you what to do, but if I were you..." and then proceeded to list off some great reasons why I should've gone. I realized that all of his points were valid and made complete sense, so I proceeded to enter the next such meeting in my calendar.
Later that same day, he came out of his office to expand upon what he had said earlier. He told me that I should consider taking some courses in some things that he thought I displayed proficiency in and followed it with, "You should always strive to learn something new, especially in the modern career landscape." It was definitely fuel for thought. As I sat at home later that night, I digested all he told me earlier that day. I went to my computer and applied for entry to the local community college and was accepted the next day. When enrollment for the next quarter rolled around a few weeks later, I signed up for a course. 
When I finished my Bachelor's degree several years ago, I was also fresh out of three years of community college where I had been pursuing an associate degree in nursing. I figured out quickly that nursing was not the field for me and wrapped up the few things I needed to finish my B.A. in Religious Studies. When all was said and done, I was sick and tired of doing homework and my desire for higher education was squashed. I had young children and I was ready to just go back into the working realm. I was surprised, then, to find that at this point in my life, I am ready to learn again. I'm not even put off by the idea of doing homework. 
My boss has become my accidental mentor, inspiring me to do more...be more. I'm excited about a new direction in life, an unexpected one, and all the possibilities it holds. Thanks, Boss.
Class starts in March, wish me luck.

NYE Prix Fixe at Modern Love

Photo courtesy of Instagram/Modernloveomaha
Before we get too far away from the beginning of the new year, I want to share with you the fantastic NYE prix fixe meal I had at Modern Love. I follow Modern Love on a few social media sites, and when they announced this meal, I made reservations right away. I invited my friend, Rebecca, to join me and when NYE finally arrived, off we went to enjoy a much-anticipated dinner.



We started off by ordering a drink. We both got the Honee Ginger Wine Spritzer - a delightful concoction of apple honee, ginger juice, and prosecco - that we sipped on while we waited for our meals to come.



Here's the actual menu for the prix fixe dinner. Rebecca ordered the Eggplant & Olive Lasagna (which was fantastic in its own right) while I ordered this magnificent four-course meal.



I was excited for the first dish, Sausage Jambalaya, to arrive as I was ever so curious about the vegan egg. Just look at it! Isn't that amazing? The jambalaya itself was delicious, filled with fennel seitan sausage, topped with the vegan egg, and surrounded by cauliflower 'shrimp'.
On a side note, I ate just a few bites of the first courses then had them boxed up, or I wouldn't have had room for the main course.



Next up was the Dumpling Noodle Soup. Black-eyed peas and collard greens were perfectly balanced in a hearty broth filled with noodles. Nestled on the side were two delicious chive dumplings. Simply gorgeous and tasty.



The course that I saved my appetite for arrived looking exactly how I had hoped it would: crispy and mouth-watering. The Fried Tofu Chick'n batter was insanely crispy and the mashed potatoes with its simple White Pepper Gravy were a perfect complement to one another. On the side was Purple Coleslaw. While I'm not a coleslaw fan, as I hate soggy greens, this slaw was actually not soggy and the taste was right, so I ate a few bites. Rebecca loved it and took the rest home with her leftovers.



Originally, when I saw the menu online, they were going to serve Death by Chocolate Cheesecake, but I wasn't disappointed to see they were instead serving Raspberry Champagne Tiramisu. Delicate layers of champagne-soaked spongecake, coconut mascarpone, and raspberry coulis made for a heavenly dessert that I ate every last bite of.



After the meal was over, I took my glass of prosecco (which you could get before or after the meal) and languished in the euphoria that only comes from eating a divine and exquisite meal. Afterward, Rebecca and I made our way to our respective homes. I enjoyed a quiet evening, as both my children were gone, where I watched a movie, had a few drinks and rang in the new year feeling happy, thankful, and relaxed.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend, my friends. 

An Overdue Trip to the Lone Star State

Welcome to Texas. ( ThinkStock / Getty )
Growing up, I was a product of divorce, my parents splitting up when I was four years old. I lived with my Dad in small-town Iowa where I had a typical, stable, happy life. My Mom moved around until she landed in Texas around forty years ago and has remained ever since. Her job did take her to Arkansas for a few years, but she kept her home in Texas and returned there when her stint in Arkansas was over.
While I did visit her a few times in Arkansas, I hadn't been to see her at her home in Texas since 2013 so I figured it was high time I go home to Texas for a visit. Since I have a nice long break from work every holiday season, I planned a five-day solo visit before the new year.



I arrived at the Austin airport on Thursday before noon. After a quick stop at the liquor store for Reunite and Irish Cream, we headed to Bastrop where my mom lives.



No trip to Mom's house would be complete without her homemade pizza. She makes the BEST crust and sauce. She made two crusts so I could make a veggie with no cheese. Just look at that beauty! It was so delicious. After supper, I walked next door where my grandma and my uncle live. While I had seen my mom and my grandma this summer in Missouri, I hadn't seen my uncle in twenty years, so it was nice to catch up.



The next day Mom had to work. Originally I was going to make the trip into Austin with her and just do some solo sightseeing while she worked, but since my uncle is retired, he offered to take me into Austin. He went to the gym while I did a bit of shopping, and then we went out for lunch. We made the drive over to Counter Culture where I had the Southern Baked Seitan with Classic Potato Salad and Jalapeno Cornbread.



After lunch we drove over to Mount Bonnell, one of two stops I wanted to make.



I walked the long flight of stone stairs to see this view of Austin and the Colorado River. 



After that, we drove over to McKinney Falls State Park. It wasn't the most exciting park I've ever been to, but it was something to do.
Mom and I were both tired that night and fell asleep early. The next day we took a long walk around the neighborhood, went to a family gathering with Mom's boyfriend's family, and did some karaoke at a Texas VFW where everyone can still smoke. I hadn't been in a bar you can smoke in for years and it kinda sucked.



The next day, we slept in then headed over to McKinney Roughs Nature Park, a small park outside of Bastrop. They had some really nice trails with great scenery. When we reached the top of this hill, we were treated to this view! Another gorgeous view of the Colorado River.



The walk in the valley next to the river was an Autumn dream.



Standing on large rocks in the Colorado River.


The next day Mom worked from home while I spent time with Grandma. I took her to her doctor's appointment, out to eat lunch, and then to pick up her medicine before heading back home. I visited with my mom after her workday was done before we both headed to bed early since we had to get up at one in the morning to get me to the airport in time to catch my 5 a.m. flight.
This was the first time since before I became a mom myself that I haven't been to visit my mom without at least one of my children. I enjoyed getting to spend some alone time with my mom, something I appreciate after getting to do the same with my dad over the last couple of years. Hopefully, I can get both kids down there this year sometime to visit. Until then, thanks for the memories, Texas. 

You Say you want some Resolutions?

Resolutions? Ha! The last thing I was going to do in the New Year was to make some resolutions. I mean, everyone makes resolutions this time of year. I should be making goals and sticking to them all year, right? Well, while I'm not wrong, I also decided that there is something renewing about the new year and that making a few goals wasn't a bad idea in the least. So, without further ado, here are the resolutions (i.e. goals) I want to accomplish or make headway with in the year 2020.
1. I want to faithfully write in my travel log. 
My travel log is a diary where I write about the trips and adventures I take. It's a fantastic way to relive the experiences I've had and to remember details and events about those experiences I might have otherwise forgotten.
2. I want to get back into a regular writing routine . 
When I was in my long depressive state, I didn't really write anything, including in my blog, and I'm eager to get back into my writing. I have a great book planned out, as well as some short stories, and I'll never finish them if I don't work on them. It took a long time to fully get back to myself and part of me is a writer.
3. I want to expand upon my health goals and make some big progress . 
There's a lot to unpack here. First, I want to be an ultra walker, with a goal of walking a marathon. I also want to climb my first 14er. In addition to these items, I want to: maintain my 100-miles-a-month goal, relegate drinking to a once in a while thing, and lose some weight. Last year was a net-zero weight loss and it's a bit frustrating. It's my fault, and it's not undoable, but I'm not letting another year of this go by. 
4. I want to really own my job and make it mine . 
You all know how I entered into a new position with my employer back in February of 2019. Well, it didn't come without some struggles. I took on a harder job with a whole bunch of new things to learn and some tears were shed and frustration was had. I had moments where I took things too personally. Well, I need to let more things fall off my shoulders and learn to conquer this job. It will make my life easier and show that I am right where I need to be. It's the first time I've really felt like I have an actual career and I want that feeling to stay.
5. I want to pay off most of my debts . 
Now, I don't have tons of debt, but enough that I seriously addressed it in 2019. My goal this year is to get everything but my student loans paid off. I'm already a good way there, but I still have a ways to go. Once I get those paid off, I'll be ready to move on to the next phase of my life.

Those are my main five goals for 2020. They are reasonable and easy to accomplish, so, wish me luck! What are your goals for this year? Let me know in the comments.

Out with the Old and in with the New

It's hard to believe it, yet here we are, firmly in the grasp of another new year. When 2019 began, I couldn't have been in a lower nor more miserable place. 2018 was harrowing and I felt hopelessness so deep and so pervasive, that I wasn't sure if things would ever turn around. I couldn't see a light at the end of that miserable tunnel and it was devastating. While I tried to see the positive in 2018, inside I was horribly depressed. Fortunately for me, the end of February was a turning point and in March, I slowly started bringing my life back together, albeit in a new way. Basically, the good came back to my life and I came out of the darkness shiny and new. I had grown, nee blossomed, into something greater than the sum of my parts.
Now, as 2020 dawns, I start it with a new sense of self, a new direction in my life, and with feelings of hope, contentment, happiness, confidence, and direction. 2020 will surely be my year, I can feel it. It's amazing to see how much difference a year makes. I started the year in the worst place and ended it in the best place, and, for that, I am eternally grateful. While the year started off horribly, so many great things happened:
1. I interviewed and was hired for a different position with my employer. I got a significant pay increase and my own office. If that wasn't great enough, I was fortunate to have another wonderful set of people to work with. I loved my crew in my old position and worried that I might not have that luck in the new position, but it all worked out well. Sure, I had a lot of new stuff to learn, but six months in and I really got the hang of it. 
2. I finally realized what the issues were that had plagued me all of 2018 and into the first few months of 2019. This was significant as knowing is half the battle. The other half was learning to deal with it all and bringing myself back to a better place. I did that but, to my surprise, I had learned a lot from the negativity and turned it all into positives. I'm a stronger, more patient, and more confident person who knows where they're going, and I wouldn't trade that for anything.
3. I got to take some great trips this year: I took my yearly vacation out to South Dakota with my Dad, my kids, and my stepmom, and we had a wonderful time. We hiked up Bear Butte and Black Elk Peak, saw Devil's Tower and the Badlands, and generally had a fantastic trip. I flew out to Portland for what is my now yearly trip to see my best friend Lisa. We hiked, we ate, and we visited. It was wonderful.I flew down to Texas the day after Christmas and stayed until New Year's Eve morning. I got to spend time with my Mom, my Grandma, and my Uncle. Of course, good plant-based food and hiking were involved, because that's how all my trips go.I took some smaller trips, near and far, as well: Columbia, MO, to visit family; Missouri to go to the Kansas City Renaissance Festival; to Iowa for a quick visit with family; Lake Okoboji and Hawkeye Point; and some day trips to my beloved Iowa Mountains.4. I kept up with my 100-miles-a-month goal, making it 100 miles a month or better every month except for January and February. I ended up putting 1,247.89 miles on these feet, and a combined total of 2,085.97 miles since I started keeping track in April of 2018. 
5. I joined the Highpointers Club, making it a goal to climb the high point in each of the lower 48 states. I had already climbed South Dakota's high point (Black Elk Peak) by then and later made a day trip to Hawkeye Point to get Iowa's. I'm three-deep now, having climbed Arkansas's high point back in 2017.
6. I also decided to become an Ultra Walker and made a goal of walking a marathon.
7. I ended the year by having a fancy prix fixe meal at my favorite restaurant, Modern Love - I'll have a post dedicated to that later. Afterward, I came home to have some drinks and relax. When midnight struck, I opened my front door and let the new year in. It was a wonderful, peaceful way to ring in 2020. 
8. I finished my patch vest and started going to metal shows again, something I dearly missed. I also met Brian and through that connection embarked on another chapter in The Write Life: writing pieces for the local metal magazine, Slime&Grime.
9. Last, but not least, I really started writing again in earnest. I'm finally working on a new book, Buried, and revealed the cover for that recently.

2019 ended up being a great year and I'm excited about what 2020 has in store for me. Now, to work on those pesky resolutions! I'll be posting about that soon as well. Have a great New Year's Day and a great New Year. I hope 2020 will be the year that brings you closer to your hopes and dreams.
Much love, 
H.A. 

Reflections on Being Another Year Older

It was my birthday this past weekend and it was amazing. Every year, my employer shuts down for 10-12 days over the holidays, and my birthday almost always falls during this time. This is great because I can do pretty much whatever I want for my birthday, depending on my budget. Last year I rented a cabin in a state park for three nights and it was simply wonderful. The weather was beautiful and I had purchased the rental in the summer when I had a few extra bucks. I am eternally grateful that I did that because I was so broke during 2017-2018 that if I hadn't of gotten the cabin, nothing fun would've happened for either my birthday or for the time off of work.
I've always held birthdays to be sacred in my house, making it a special occasion for myself and the kids. Unlike some people, I genuinely enjoy getting older and love celebrating my birthday. As always, my Dad called to sing me "Happy Birthday" which officially kicks it off. Afterward, I took a five-mile walk, went out for lunch and did some shopping with the kids, took them to see Zombieland: Double Tap (I highly recommend this fun movie, and you don't need to watch the first one to enjoy it.), and made it home in time to get ready for the birthday party I had planned with my friends. We all brought a shareable snack, drinks, sang some karaoke, played a rousing game of Cards Against Humanity, and exchanged White Elephant gifts. A great time was had by all, and everyone shuffled out around 1:30 a.m., tipsy, full, and happy. 
Today, as I look forward to another 10 days off of work, I reflect on the great weekend I had celebrating my birthday. It was everything you could hope for in a birthday. However, I also reflect on the year since my last one. It was a hard year, emotionally, for me. The first part of the past year was one of the darkest times I've ever been through. I feared, for awhile, that I might never come out of it all. Eventually, I did and when I did, I came out stronger than I ever have been in my entire life. I reclaimed who I was, but, more importantly, I gained a lot. I gained insight, patience, and the type of wisdom that comes from experience and growth. 
It's a far cry from where I was this exact moment one year ago when the world was a dark place. I was miserable and I felt so hopeless. I self-medicated and withdrew. Now, I'm present, not only for myself but for the people I care about the most. I had lost all my creative fire, but it's back, and I feel positive about it for the first time in a long time. 
There's a saying that we all know: Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. While I've always gotten the gist of what that means it wasn't until recently that I really and truly was able to relate to it. Why? Because it's true. The strength I have now wouldn't have been possible had I not gone through the toughest period of my adult life. I'm now ready to embrace my future and I'm bursting into the next year with fervor. 
Welcome to 48.


I hope you have the Merriest of Christmases. I'm looking forward to the rest of my break - including a trip that I'll be posting about later. I've also decided to still post twice a week, but on whatever days I get to posting. I've decided that structure isn't always the best or necessary thing. 
With love, H.A.

The Return of Winter Hiking

I took this photo this past weekend on a solo hike at Neale Woods. A dusting of snow was on the ground while more snow lightly fell from the sky. The temperature was in the 20s with no wind, and, overall, it was quite lovely. 



I relished the opportunity to hike this morning as it was a welcome return to winter hiking. I love hiking any time of the year, but winter holds its own special place in my heart. The trees are bare, giving me a range of visibility that I can't get in other seasons.



Winter in nature is absolutely beautiful, covering everything in a white, powdery layer.



So lovely and calm.



But, my favorite part of winter hiking? The quiet solitude. Only the die-hards hike in earnest this time of the year, making for a chance to commune with nature in a way that I can't other times of the year. You don't hear animals, you don't hear or see other people (very often), and the snow insulates all other sounds. What you're left with are your thoughts and the sound of your own footsteps as they crunch ever-so-lightly in the snow. Nothing rejuvenates me in quite the same way. 




I recently revealed the cover for my latest book - to be released late Spring or early Summer 2020 - in this post. Also, my latest piece on Helmet is up on the Slime&Grime site, so go check that out!

The Miles

Those of you who've been reading this blog for any length of time, already know my obsession with walking and hiking. My goal for the past year and a half has been to walk/hike at least 100 miles a month. Lately, however, my walking goals have started to change. 
When I started making walking a daily thing, it was me walking back and forth to work with weekend hiking here and there. A year later, and with a big hike looming, I started walking on my lunch break as well - still with the weekend hiking here and there. This prompted me to join the Highpointers Club with a goal of hiking my first 14er (a mountain higher than 14,000 feet). 
Then, about a month or so ago, I was reading some articles on the internet and ran across one about a woman who was an ultra walker. Now, I had heard of ultra running before, but never ultra walking. Ultra runners run long distances of 50 miles or more, with many running 100 miles. Ultra walking is exactly the same thing, but instead of running, they walk. I found the article fascinating and started a tiny fire inside. So, ultra walking became another goal to achieve.
As of right now, I don't have any plans to walk 50 miles or more, but I do have a goal of walking a marathon. So, I've been adding long-distance walking on the weekends to my routine. Right now I'm walking six miles or better at one stretch and my shorter goal is to walk a half-marathon early next year. Of course, all this long-distance walking has made me realize that I need to find yet another pair of appropriate shoes. haha Walking long distances require a quality walking shoe with good cushioning and support. I haven't found my perfect pair yet but I'm open to suggestions if you have any!
I've also realized that I need to beef up my walking regimen with some cardio, so I'm looking into starting something akin to CrossFit, but something I can do at home and doesn't require equipment. I'm also open to suggestions for this as well!  
Wish me luck and I'll make sure to update you as my training progresses.