Michele Knight's Blog, page 186
April 14, 2014
What’s Your Gut Telling Your About Your Friend’s Relationship?
There’s probably not one person amongst us who hasn’t speculated on the state of a particular friend’s relationship at one time or another. Whether we’ve sat at a wedding and thought ‘I’ll give it a year’ or wondered why two people who argue so much stay together, chances are we spend more time analysing what’s going on with our friend’s relationships than we do our own. Obviously for most of us, wondering what may be going on with a friend’s relationships stems from caring about them and just wanting them to be happy. If you’re developing your psychic skills then obviously, what you pick up around relationships that isn’t being said is an important part of developing your skills.
Recent studies reveal that what we pick up about a friend’s relationship is usually more accurate than we think as there are certain signs that tell us when a couple is not as happy as they may be letting on. So, if you’ve got that nagging doubt about what’s happening with your friend and his or her significant other – check out the first signs psychologists have identified as possible indicators for stormy weather ahead.
1: Your friend is critical of their partner. Happy couples tend to view their partner through rose-tinted spectacles in some respect no matter how long they have been together. They gloss over their partner’s faults or down-play them. Maintaining a few illusions about our partner is, according to psychologists, a good indicator of a happy relationship whereas criticism or absence of illusions can indicate trouble ahead.
2: Your friend’s friends are splitting up. Divorce or breaking up can be like a cold – it can spread. A 32-year study published in 2013 showed that an individual’s likelihood of divorce increases 75% if a close friend gets divorced, and 33% if a friend’s friends get divorced. While this is not a given, the researchers concluded people may be more likely to consider separating if they have friends who have also done so.
3: Your friend makes a lot more or less money than their partner. Believe it or not, this is still the major source of inequality or dissatisfaction in a relationship. We all know this shouldn’t matter but studies in Sweden show that inequality in earnings can affect relationship stability and the greater the difference between this, the more susceptible the relationship may be to break-up or divorce. Of course, much depends on how both parties view money and whether they believe the person who earns the most calls the shots in the relationship. But when we consider that after adultery, arguments over money is the second highest reason couples divorce, it’s easy to see the link here.
4: Your friend or their partner is defensive. We’d rather not have to witness arguments between our friend and their other half, but sometimes this happens or our friend may confide in us about a recent argument they’ve had. While arguing is not necessarily a sign of an unhealthy relationship, defensive behaviour can be. Psychologists Lannin, Bittner and Lorenz have identified a trait known as Defensive denial, a type of defensiveness which involves making excuses for one’s behaviour and refusing to own responsibility in a problem. They discovered that engaging in this form of defensiveness is toxic to relationship wellbeing which in turn, fuels other issues in the relationship.
5: An absence of public displays of affection. You’ve noticed your friend and their partner don’t hold hands, touch or kiss in public – ever. No matter how long you’ve been together, little touches and hand holding are indicators of the level of intimacy in the relationship.
6: You just don’t think the relationship will last. Strangely enough it’s been proved that an outsider’s gut feeling about the ultimate fate of a relationship is usually more accurate than that of the participants – as proved by the study published by psychologists Agnew, Drigotas and the aptly named Loving back in 2001. Therefore your gut assessment is usually the right one.
Obviously what we see or what a friend may tell us is only part of the picture as relationships are very complex. Our gut feelings however are usually right and are alerting us not only to potential problems but ensuring we are able to provide support to our friend should they need it. As with any intuitive exercise however, we should tap into its wisdom in our own lives too – so take a step back and see what you gut tells you about your own partnership – hopefully that’s a healthy message.
Psychic Development 101: First Impressions Count!
You’re on the path to working not only with your Tarot cards, but also with your intuition. So what’s the next step? Especially if you want to make that all-so-important step to working with real-life clients as opposed to just friends or family members.
While the Tarot cards convey a wealth of information we need to hone our own intuitive skills in order to validate what the cards are telling us. When we are starting out as readers or even when we have graduated to reading professionally, we all need to continually develop our abilities. So, if we’re short of volunteers, how do we go about this? Well, the answer is we usually all have a ready made pool of people to practice on – whether they volunteer for an actual reading or not.
If we are going to develop our psychic skills we will usually end up reading for total strangers and will be relying on the first impression we capture from their energy. These impressions count and often turn out to be incredibly accurate. Of course, we can’t walk up to a total stranger and ask them if they want a reading – or blurt out what we’re picking up from them for that matter either! But reading for people we don’t know as opposed to those we do is part and parcel of being a psychic and in fact, is often easier than reading for family and friends because when we are starting out it is easy to project what we know they are wishing and hoping for onto the reading – even if our intuition is telling us something else entirely.
We can start to make the transition from reading for people we know to strangers by recording our impressions about people and situations we don’t know that well but who are not total strangers. I’m talking about co-workers, clients, neighbours, people you interact with on a regular basis and converse with, who you don’t know that well but who give you certain amounts of information on their lives from which you can make a prediction.
It works like this. Say a co-worker tells you they are applying for a different job for example. They may tell you something about the new role, the day they are attending the interview, where the job is etc or you can ask them. Now, take this information and when you have a moment ‘tune in’ to their energy. Make a note of what you are picking up about them and the possible outcome. If you have your journal handy then make a note about how you think things will play out for them. Will they be successful or not? If not, when do you think they will find another job? Perhaps you have just connected with a new client who is saying they would like to do business with you. After the meeting write down all that your intuition is telling you about this person. If they have not volunteered any personal information write down anything that comes to mind about them – are they married or single? Are they happy in their current job? Will they go ahead and do business with you and if they do, what will they be like to deal with? Write down everything you pick up about them and don’t be afraid if it seems off the wall or irrelevant as very often these are the things that turn out to be the most accurate insights in the long run! Don’t forget – nobody is going to see this except you!
Time and time again you will amazed at the amount of accurate information you pick up – not just about the person but about outcomes to situations.
So, if you are looking to expand your skills by reading for strangers before taking that step to becoming a professional psychic and want to know where you can find test subjects to practice on – the answer is they are all around you and yes, those first impressions not only count – but can be profoundly accurate as well.
April 7, 2014
April 1, 2014
March 23, 2014
March 19, 2014
Does Quantum Theory Prove We Are All Immortal?
Biocentrism. Just what is that? Well, simply put biocentrism is a fusion of the study of life, physics, astrophysics and quantum mechanics. Pioneered by Dr. Robert Lanza who the New York Times rated as the 3rd most important scientist alive, biocentrism teaches that life and consciousness are fundamental to the universe. It is consciousness that creates the material universe, not the other way around. In other words, the Big Bang happened when the multiverse – not just the universe, became self-aware.
Dr. Lanza claims that space and time or more to the point, our idea of what these are, are something we carry around with us ‘like turtles with shells’ – meaning that when the shell comes off – or to put it another way, when our physical bodies die and are no longer bound by space and time, we still exist. Furthermore, that our consciousness can be in more than one point in space at time – in other words, although your physical body may be ‘dead’ in this universe it can be very much alive in other parallel one! The idea of these parallel universes was developed back in the 80’s by Stanford professor Andrei Linde and physics now tells us that variations in the background cosmic radiation that telescopes such as the orbiting Planck telescope pick up, is actually generated by other universes close by!
So, we have all these universes existing next to ours that we can say our consciousness may either already be ‘alive’ in or could migrate to after the death of our body in this one. But how does quantum theory prove this? According to Dr. Stuart Hameroff and British physicist Sir Roger Penrose, the microtubules in our brain are processors of quantum information. When the body dies, this information is released from your body – meaning your consciousness departs with it. Our experience of consciousness is actually the result of quantum gravity effects on these microtubules and we’ve just seen the big announcement from scientists on the discovery of the primordial gravitational wave from the Big Bang itself – the rush of consciousness into this universe!
Dr. Hameroff says this also explains ‘near death’ experiences. “Let’s say the heart stops beating, the blood stops flowing, the microtubules lose their quantum state. The quantum information within the microtubules is not destroyed, it can’t be destroyed, it just distributes and dissipates to the universe at large.” If the patient is resuscitated, revived, this quantum information can go back into the microtubules and the patient says “I had a near death experience”
So, what all this seems to say is that not only are we immortal, we may exist simultaneously in several universes but it is highly likely that at some point our quantum selves get recycled and end up back here in another body! It can also perhaps explain why when some people have past life regressions they report memories of lives in very different environments to what we encounter here on Earth.
But the most exciting part of this for all of us is that as our understanding of the universe and consciousness expands, it seems merely to prove what the great mystics and teachers of the ages have always said: we truly are immortal, universal beings and death merely is a doorway – perhaps to reconnecting to our true and limitless potential.
March 18, 2014
The Journey Is The Destination!
The process of setting goals and then taking action towards them puts us in touch with our power. When we seriously commit to changing something about our lives and creating something better for ourselves we become conduits for unlimited potential. Notice I said ‘Unlimited Potential’. And that is where we can fall down. Once we are tapped into all this unlimited potential we forget that the universe can come up with something even more amazing for us that we can ever possibly imagine for ourselves. Which is why when we set and commit to a goal(s) we have to see the big picture in order to avoid cutting off the flow of truly amazing things that the universe in its vast creativity wants to send us. And we can do this simply by seeing the journey we have created ourselves as our goal.
It works like this. Say you decide your goal is a specific job in a specific company or field. So, you state your intention and you undertake whatever things you can do right now to work towards that goal. This can be anything from reading up about the company or the field you want to work in, to apply for the position or looking into further training you might need in order to do that. You can probably see all the logical steps you need to take to get from A to B – your goal. As you do this you change your energy and this opens up that conduit of unlimited potential I was talking about. Unknown to you perhaps the universe can see an easier way for you to get there or else there is a far better role out there for you – one that fulfils your soul path a lot better. The universe may now present you with an opportunity to head down that path but this is the moment that many people fall down in their Quantum Creating process: because this opportunity doesn’t look exactly like the end result they imagined, or conform to one of the steps in their manifestation plan, they turn it down. getting too attached to the process and the outcome can actually derail us.
One example is a friend of mine whose goal was to make it in film production but despite fabulous skills and her applying for jobs on the next step up on the ladder, she kept getting turned down. A ‘chance’ meeting (but not really when it comes to Quantum Creating) with someone who worked with a lot of West End theatres led to her being offered a role in theatrical production – which she turned down because she saw this as a step away from her goal. Years later she admitted it was a mistake and would probably have opened up far more doors for her both creatively and professionally and as she did in fact end up working in theatre later admitted that she loved live performances perhaps even more than film! The universe had in fact known what was best for her.
Sometimes we can get so fixated on our goal we forget we are on a soul journey and we miss all the scenery and opportunities to take ‘excursions’ on our journey because of it. Another friend whose goal was to be a writer was surprised when a similar ‘chance’ encounter led to her being offered the opportunity to be the marketing manager of a new luxury resort overseas. While she had a marketing background she had no experience in the hospitality industry and also was keen to get out of marketing roles. Years later and she regretted turning down the role simply because not only would it have given her the experience of living and working in five-star luxury somewhere sunny and exotic, she realised that the experiences and people she would have encountered would have provided her with unimaginable inspiration for a dozen novels -and she would have had an experience of a lifetime while doing so.
It’s very important that we tap into our power by setting and committing to our goals. But once we’ve done that it’s just as important to stay alert and open for different ways to achieve them or even a better version of what we can dream up for ourselves. So once your goals are set, let go of your outcome and trust the universe to deliver exactly what you need. Which is why the journey really should be our destination!
March 16, 2014
Is Sex-ess the Best Revenge? Love on the Rebound
You’ve been dumped and your mojo is at an all-time low. So, is sex the best revenge? (Yes!!! I can hear all the Scorpios out there clamour collectively). After all, nothing like a hot new lover to show your ex they have made the biggest mistake of their life and simultaneously soothe that wounded ego, right? Revenge and rebound sex is also something that is often sanctioned by concerned loved ones who while they may not put it in those kind of terms, nonetheless encourage us to ‘get back on the horse’ like a rodeo rider. Plus there’s always the possibility (at least in our minds) that once our misguided ex sees us with someone new they will see the error of their ways and return – result!
Most of us have at least fantasised about revenge sex (to get back at your ex) or rebound sex (to make you feel better) after a break up even if we haven’t actually gone ahead and followed the impulse. So, surprisingly there is actually very little psychological research out there on the effects of revenge and rebound sex. Realising this, Doctors Barber and Cooper commissioned a study of 170 college students who had experienced relationship break-ups in the past year and had them complete a weekly questionnaire as to their moods and their reasons for having sex if this occurred – ‘rebound motives’ and ‘revenge motives’. More than one-third reported having rebound sex (35%), and almost one-quarter had revenge sex (23%) in the month following their break-ups but these behaviours diminished over time. In other words, the fresher the break-up, the more likely people are to have rebound or revenge sex. But as time passes they no longer choose partners for these reasons. However, those who did choose sex as a way of coping with their newly acquired single status did not lessen the overall feelings of rejection, low self-esteem, anger and depression that accompany being dumped than those who didn’t. In other words the researchers concluded it won’t make you feel better – but it won’t make you feel worse either.
Obviously we all have different ways of coping when someone we still care about tells us they no longer feel the same way. So, if you’re nursing a broken heart and are looking around the bar or the internet for someone to dull the pain what is the mindful soul perspective we should be aware of?
1: Be honest about where you are at. The fact that you’re even thinking about rebound or revenge sex says that you still have a load of emotions to work through around your ex. You’re therefore emotionally unavailable. Just remember there is another living, breathing human being on the other end of this equation who is every bit as capable of being hurt as you’ve just been. Be honest with them. You’re not in the market for anything long term right now.
2: Don’t think this will bring your ex back. It won’t and please re-read No.1 again. If it did bring back your ex there would usually be a sting in the tail. Many years ago a dear friend of mine was subjected to a whirlwind romance and marriage (from first ‘Hi’ to ding-dong bells in a month). What she didn’t know was this was her newly acquired husband’s way of trying to get his ex back. This actually worked as 10 days into the marriage he vanished to join his ex in Spain where she was now living. However, she in turn dumped him 18 months later. As for my poor friend – well, re-read No.1 yet again as nobody would want this kind of experience although I admit it is a very extreme example.
3: You are loveable and sexy whether you have a partner or not. You don’t need someone to ‘complete’ you – you are already complete. Someone can enhance your life, they can show you the love you already have inside you but they cannot make you feel more loveable. This comes from within. We all hate rejection and heartbreak and all the feelings of self-doubt it can stir up. But these are temporary.
Provided you are honest with yourself (and them) about why you are seeking someone new so soon after a break-up, that’s fine. But if it’s a long term connection you’re seeking then know this will probably take time and you need to first work through all the stuff you are feeling and not take it into a new relationship. In the interim – reconnect back to the things you love to do that don’t require a partner. You’ll not only start to feel good about yourself again you’ll emerge from this successfully. And success is after all the best revenge of all!
