Michele Knight's Blog, page 184
May 23, 2014
Michele’s Ultimate Love Answer Tarot Spread!
You asked for it and what could I do but answer! There’s no doubt the Tarot is our most powerful tool when it comes not only to predicting when love will arrive, but the outcome of a romance and even provide us with insights into what may be holding us back when it comes to finding and keeping that special connection. Over the years I’ve developed several spreads for looking specifically at love but this simple five-card spread remains one of the most insightful and comprehensive whether you want to know when love will appear, what to do in a current romance or whether the person is actually right for you.
As usual, have your Tarot journal to hand and you might want to unplug and/or turn off your phone to ensure you won’t be disturbed. Take out the card from the deck that you would usually use as your Significator. Then shuffle the cards until you feel they are ready to give you the information you need. There is no need to phrase a specific question with this spread. Just keep an open mind because this spread links directly to your heart so trust in the process. You can cut the deck and put it back together again in any way that feels best for you.
Deal five cards. Here is what they mean.
Card 1: Your Love Past. This card shows you what past issues are affecting you in the present. This could be baggage (yours or another’s), unresolved childhood issues that are stopping love from appearing, past relationships influencing the present, or your current concern about your love life.
Card 2: Who or what is influencing you right now. This can be your lover, your career, a rival, a situation, your thoughts and attitudes or even someone who can help or is hindering you.
Card 3: Your Love Present. How the situation is right now plus the actions you can take right now to move the situation forward. This card holds the key to the future of an existing relationship and shows you what you need to do next especially if you are looking to attract love into your life. If you have split up from your lover and want a reconciliation is will indicate what steps you may be able to take but pay attention if the card is telling you to do nothing. Heed the advice you are given.
Card 4: Inner Wisdom. This card will reveal alternatives. New ways of dealing with the situation, resources you may not realise you have available to you, additional courses of action and even reveal to you what the other person is thinking and feeling. It can indicate practical steps to take when making your next move.
Card 5: Your Love Destination. Based on what is going on now, this card indicates the potential outcome of your current relationship, possible solutions to problems, alternative courses of action and even the person you will fall in love with next as well as offer clues as to where and when you may meet them.
This spread is deceptive as it links into our subconscious and can show us where we may be holding ourselves back from receiving the love we deserve. Don’t forget to record your interpretations in your Tarot journal and follow the guidance the cards have for you.
I believe love is both the birthright and destiny of everyone. Hopefully this spread will have provided you with the insight you need to make love a reality in your life.
May 18, 2014
Tap into the Power of Your True Nature!
When we understand our true nature we are operating from within our power. We are completely authentic and the world and people around us respond to that. By understanding our true nature we are in the best position to attain our goals and become co-creators with the universe of our lives. Think about the sign above the entrance to the Oracle of Delphi. It read: Know thyself. Knowing who we are means we know what it is we need in all aspects of our lives – and this doesn’t just include the type of partner we may be searching for but also what it is we are here to experience, do and accomplish. In other words our soul path and purpose. When we know what this is we experience happiness and the ability to be happy begins with truly understanding who we are.
But we can so easily become disconnected from this – as any of our readers will tell you from the number of calls we receive from clients asking for assistance to re-connect to their dreams and soul purpose. Sometimes we arrive at a point where we have become someone else just to please others and then wonder why our lives seem passionless despite the fact others may see us as successful.
So, if you feel you have become disconnected from who you really are and your soul purpose, what can you do to start the process of rediscovery? Well, it’s not as difficult as you might think. Let’s for one moment think about the word nature. This can not only be used to describe our personalities but the living world around us. Nature is after all everywhere. Even if we live in a big city there are usually parks we can go to in order to ‘get back in touch’ with nature. Nature itself is a mirror and the types of environments we are drawn to and which resonate within us are usually those which reflects aspects of our own nature.
If you are feeling inauthentic and lost, the key to getting back in touch with your true self therefore lies in nature and this one simple exercise I’m going to share with you now.
Lucky for us we can visit nature anywhere on the planet without leaving our homes. So, do a Google search for images of nature than really resonate with you and draw you in. Perhaps your ideal place in nature is an Alpine meadow surrounded by snowy peaks. It could be the rich and rugged red rocks found in the American Southwest, a white sandy beach, a rain forest – what is important is the way you feel when you look at the images. You might feel peaceful, energised, free. Tap into your intuition now and your feelings. Listen to them. Imagine yourself as part of the landscape. What would you be feeling, hearing, seeing? Now, taking your journal write down adjectives to describe your ideal place in nature. Is there an element that comes to mind in your environment? It might be obvious if you are at the beach or at the side of a lake. If you are at the top of a mountain it could be air. Those red rocks of the southwest could have you thinking of fire. Write this down. If you are in a meadow you might write that your environment is ‘peaceful, rich, tranquil, sensual, warm, abundant, growing’. A mountain scene may evoke words such as ‘far-reaching, dynamic, soaring, well-grounded’. Write as many words as come into your mind. When you’ve done, re-read them. All these words will describe your true nature! This is who you are and all your qualities. Did you ever think of yourself in this way before? Chances are you didn’t but you are now attuned to the immensity of who you really are! Now start to live your life and base your decisions on expressing these words via who you are.
If you think about it, how many times do you use the word ‘nature’ to describe other people? ‘Well, that’s just her (or his) nature’. ‘S/he’s naturally talented’. When we talk about people in this way we are usually referring to something that comes effortlessly or naturally to them. This exercise puts you back in touch with the same kind of authenticity that lies within you – but which you may have lost or even been unaware of.
Even if you are a city dweller and don’t see yourself as the ‘outdoor’ type, this exercise will give you a new appreciate of nature and an appreciation that we are all part of the whole – but shine when we express our individuality. If you can spend time or visit your ‘natural’ environment then please do so as this is where you will feel most like your true self.
Deep down inside we all know the truth of who we are and our true nature. But often we stop living that truth. This exercise will reconnect you to the simple power of your true nature and set you back on your journey towards your authentic power and self.
Difficult Decision? Get Clarity with the Tarot!
Chances are if you are faced with a difficult decision or have an important choice to make that you already know the answer or what to do – even before you have made a list of pros and cons. Sometimes of course the pros and cons turn out to be the same number or like many of us, you are finding it hard to access your intuition or guidance from your higher self because of the overwhelming ‘busyness’ of life or the opinions of others have caused you to doubt your own decision-making process.
It’s times like these the Tarot really comes into its own – offering us an intuitive approach to looking at our problems and connecting us back to our subconscious which can in turn unlock alternatives we may be unaware of.
This simple spread uses six cards and can guide us towards making the right decision as well as seeing the ‘bigger picture’ – elements we may not be aware of and untapped potential within the situation. So, if you are faced with a difficult decision, turn off or disconnect your phone, have your Tarot journal to hand and take out your cards and shuffle asking that you be shown the best way to proceed. After you feel you’ve shuffled your cards enough, then cut them in the way that feels most comfortable for you and deal six cards.
Card 1: This card is the significator and represents you and how you are feeling faced with your decision. Take note of what it depicts. Is it a major or minor card? Is it a court card? What emotions are coming up as you look at it? Does it show someone moving towards their goal? Or are they stuck or going down the wrong path? What is happening in this card will provide you with real information as to what decision you should make.
Card 2: The Present. Tells you not only where you are right now but also your goals and vision for the future. What you are expecting to happen – or, are you being shown something unexpected?
Card 3: The Past. Who or what from your past that is affecting your decision and what you need to come to terms with, leave behind or process before you move forward. This is an important card and can even reveal patterns from the past that may be holding you back or keeping you stuck in your present dilemma.
Card 4: The Future. What is going to happen once your decision is made.
Card 5: Why you are really asking the question. This is what makes this spread unique as this card reveals your subconscious motivations – what you REALLY want as an outcome. Of all the card, take your time to really tune in and absorb the message of the card in this position especially if you feel a resistance to it or if it appears to be out-of-context with the reading. The more resistance you feel – the more important its message is for you so spend some time with this card.
Card 6: The potential within the situation. What you may not be able to see – benefits or even risks involved. This card brings clarity by opening up possibilities or showing you if you are heading down the wrong path for you.
This spread really can assist us when we have a difficult decision to make by allowing us to gain clarity and also see what else may be influencing our decision. It reconnects us to our intuition as we write down our interpretations of the cards and opens up outcomes we may not have considered or thought possible.
If you are still unsure you can always have a session with one of our readers who will be happy to guide you through the process and perhaps shed even more light on your interpretation of the cards but many of you will find this spread helps you make the decision that ultimately results in the best outcome for all concerned in the long term – even if it’s a tough one to make in the short term. Have courage and know your intuition and the Tarot are powerful tools to guide you.
Soulmate Nightmare: How to Stop the Defensive Spiral
We’ve all been there! Somebody says something to us which we perceive as an unjust criticism or attack and we react defensively. The problem is the moment we become defensive is when both parties get caught in a spiral of verbal volleys that quickly escalate into a full-blown argument (usually about something other than what the original comment was all about!). Now, we all know that some people we interact with can say things that can only be described as rude, uncalled for, insulting, bullying or unkind. I am not talking about these kinds of interactions where we are fully justified in going on the defensive in order to protect our boundaries. I am talking about reacting in a defensive manner in our closest personal relationships which is always counter-productive to both parties when this happens.
While we all accept on an intellectual level that arguments are self-defeating and shut down the lines of communication between us, we go on the defensive because on a subconscious level our ego hates to be in the wrong! When we see ourselves as the wronged party we are now shutting our ears to any other viewpoint – and that includes the one that the comment may not have been made in the way we have interpreted it! We all want to avoid confrontations but when we start to become defensive confrontation is the only outcome. So, what can we do to stop it before it escalates?
John Gottman, a well known relationship expert, tells us that “defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner.” So, first take a mental step back: try to put yourself into the other person’s shoes. Ask yourself what they are feeling and what might have made them feel this way? How would you then react in their place? Above all, ask yourself if they really meant what they said to be interpreted in the way you have. Then, tell them you understand the way they are feeling and if you have been unable to interpret their comment in any other way than the way you have, say something like ‘My initial reaction to what you said was to feel very defensive and I felt as if you were criticising me for no reason, but I can understand how you may have felt this way although it wasn’t my intention. Can we talk about this?’ This way you are opening up the doors to a discussion rather than an argument.
Gottman has identified seven defensive responses and asks us to look at whether we resort to any of them when we feel we are being attacked.
1: Making Excuses: Blaming something beyond your control for not keeping your word. An example of this is your partner (or child!) doesn’t come home by the agreed hour, doesn’t call, but then blames traffic/work/others – the list goes on.
2: Cross-Complaining: Your partner complains about something and you counter with a complaint of your own. An example of this would be you complaining that your partner is running late and them countering with the comment the kitchen is a mess. You then respond that it wouldn’t be if they got home in time to help you and – so it goes.
3: Yes – but . . .: This one is more subtle and can be harder to spot. It starts off with your partner agreeing with you but ends with them disagreeing. You may not even be aware it is happening. Example: ‘Why can’t you just pick up your dirty clothes and put them in the hamper rather than leave them on the floor for me?’ Reply: ‘I know you hate having to pick up after me. I’m just so frantic in the morning trying to get ready for work’. The responding partner is keen to point out they are not at fault – and in fact the sub-text here is that the complaining partner should be more understanding. This negates their feelings while effectively letting the other partner off-the-hook.
4: Table-turning: You show whoever is complaining that their criticism applies equally to them. This usually involves digging up a past infraction (perceived or real). Example: You: They’re expecting us in 10 minutes and it’s going to take 20 just to drive there. We need to leave . . . Partner: I had to wait half an hour for you last week because you were running late . . . So, your partner takes an implied criticism and then puts the blame back on you. You can’t change what happened in the past so why bring it up? If this is a recurring issue then you both need to talk about how you can create a strategy to prevent it continuing together – not blame one another.
5: Repeating yourself: You feel you’re in the right – so you keep on saying it. Partner: I’m really tired. Shall we call it a night? You: I just need to finish up a few more things. Partner: I hate to be the party-pooper, but I really am tired. You: I just need a few more minutes, okay? I won’t be long. Both parties want their own way and neither is seeing the other’s point of view – or giving the other party an alternative or offering a time frame. A better approach would be: Partner: ‘I’m really tired – do you think we can call it a night in 10 minutes?’ You: ‘I’m sorry. You should have said earlier. I’ll just finish up. 10 minutes is plenty.’
6: Denying responsibility: Insisting you are not to blame no matter whether your partner might be justified in flagging you on an issue. Partner: Where did you put the car keys? You: Why is it you automatically blame me every time you can’t find something? You’re the last person to have driven the car but you blame the other person for the fact you haven’t put the keys back in the usual place. Consider your partner didn’t mean to be critical and was just asking you a perfectly reasonable question – where are the keys? Do you think they will love you less if you say: ‘My bad! They’re in my handbag!’?
7: Body language: Rolling our eyes, smirking, crossing our arms over our chest, whining or stonewalling – ignoring our partner all together; all these demonstrate defensiveness and convey that we believe we are the aggrieved party and are intended to invalidate or dismiss our partner’s point-of-view. Usually body language defensiveness goes hand-in-hand with one or more of the above six tactics. Stonewalling is the most toxic and damaging to a relationship in the long term as it allows anger to fester and negates effective communication.
Whoever said relationships are hard work and if you’re not in one you’re not working had it right! But by looking at how we can avoid the defensive trap in ourselves and respond in a way that prevents defensive behaviour in others from escalating into a full-blown argument, we can not only enhance our love relationships but every other one we have as well! Remember: we all need boundaries but being too defensive only results in us having nothing left worth defending at the end of the day.
May 13, 2014
Soul SOS: I’m in a Love Sahara – How Do I Find My Way Out?
Sometimes no matter how much we would like to meet someone and no matter what we do to try to connect with them, nothing seems to work for us. We can join as many internet dating sites as we want, get out-and-about, join new groups and tell our friends and colleagues we are looking for someone if they have any suitable friends. While we may enjoy some dates – or even a fling or two, nothing seems to ‘gel’ permanently or more depressingly, we don’t even get that far! It’s as if we’re suddenly rendered invisible or we can’t seem to meet just one person that fits the bill for us no matter what we do or how hard we look.
If you are stuck in the love equivalent of the Gobi or the Sahara, then the first thing you need to understand is you’re not alone! Many, many people who have gone on to have real and lasting love connections have been exactly where you are right now before they met their partner. You need to understand that this is a cycle and like all cycles, once you have understood what the soul lesson is you will free yourself from it. First, ask yourself a few questions:
1: Am I looking for someone because I am afraid of being alone or think I am ‘less’ of a person if I am not partnered up? If you have answered ‘yes’ to either or both of these then you need to understand the universe is giving you a ‘time out’ from love relationships because you need to work on the most important relationship you will ever have in this lifetime – the one you have with yourself.
2: Am I being pressured to go out and find someone by well-meaning friends and relatives when really I don’t feel like it? If you’d rather stay home with a good book or movie – then do. Attracting the love we want starts with honouring our own needs. Plus, if you can’t stand being in your own company how do you expect someone else to? Be your own best friend and partner and you will pave the way for the person who reflects that.
3: Am I getting the results I want? If you’re trying internet dating or any other ways of meeting prospective mates, and you’re not meeting anyone you are interested in or you keep ending up in the same situation time after time, then you need to stop what you are doing. This is another sign the universe is saying you need a ‘time out’ to look at trying a new approach or else perhaps to re-evaluate what you need in a partner. Try not to think of yourself a being stuck in a love desert, however. Think of yourself as having reached an oasis of insight where you can stop, rest, recuperate and gain new insights into your love goals and how to achieve them. Above all, don’t be in a hurry to leave.
4: The biggie: What am I passionate about right now in my life? Passion is the path that leads us out of the Love Desert. And by that I’m actually not talking about the romantic kind. Being supposedly ‘stuck’ in the Love Sahara is actually an opportunity to re-connect to passion we might have lost. The thing is – you are not ‘stuck’ – you are moving forward. By getting back in touch with passion in your life you will move forward faster. So, what makes your heart beat faster? What would make you want to leap out of bed in the morning? Is it that dream career goal you’ve allowed to lapse? That hobby or activity you set aside because you thought it was ‘childish’ or you just got too busy? You have to make time for passion and taking the time to do whatever it is you are passionate about says you are willing to have more of it in your life! Join that class, find out what it takes to start that business or get that job and move towards it. Take up that activity, start writing, painting, dancing, taking those photos, baking those cupcakes – it doesn’t matter what it is, so long as you love it.
Passionate people who are excited about what they do make people automatically gravitate to them. You’ll also see that passion and love were inside of you all the time – and all around you. You then won’t have to do anything more to get yourself out of the Love Sahara – you were never lost in the first place. When we are ready – love always finds us.
May 3, 2014
Astral Tripping! Science Explains Out of Body Experiences
Out of Body Experiences – also known as astral projection, astral travelling and more scientifically ‘extra-corporeal experiences’ (ECE) may be more common that we think according to Canadian scientists who have been studying the brain activity of a woman who claims she can drift outside her own body at will. The woman in question says that during these experiences she can see herself floating and rotating horizontally in the air above her body and can sometimes even watch herself from above. By using a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) device the researchers were able to identify the areas of the brain involved when these experiences occurred and noted that while the areas in the left-hand side of the brain associated with kinaesthetic imagery were activated, the visual cortex was deactivated. So, is it more about what the feel as opposed to what we actually see? The woman in question – a psychology student has apparently been able to have these experiences at will since she was small leading the researchers to speculate that this ability may be more common than we think but goes unreported as many people assume it is something everyone can do!
However, scientists Blanke and Metzinger in their report state that: ‘During these illusions, the participants do not doubt that the shifted body perception is illusory’ – so they may only explain a certain type of ECE and that is the voluntary ones. But what about the other kinds? In his book Beyond the Quantum, Michael Talbot describes an involuntary ECE from his adolescence where he first became aware of looking at himself sleeping on his bed and then ‘floated’ out down through the house. At one point he was on a collision course with a large picture window but floated through it to hover outside over a neighbours back yard on which there was a book of short stories by Guy de Maupassant. Although Michael had heard of the author he did not know of this particular book and had never seen it before. After this he lost awareness of the event and fell into a deep sleep. The next day he was walking to school when he was joined by a girl he knew who told him she had lost her library book – a collection of stories by Guy de Maupassant. Stunned Michael told her of his experience the night before and they went and checked the neighbour’s lawn. There was the book by Guy de Maupassant – exactly where he had seen it during his ECE ‘excursion’ yet not visible from his house or from the street.
Then of course there are the numerous Near Death ECE’s where people report leaving their bodies and even details of what the surgical team or relatives were saying and doing at the time – despite them being unconscious, under anaesthesia or often clinically dead or very near to it. Unlike the voluntary ECE’s the involuntary kind -whether they just ‘happen’ or are a result of a Near Death Experience appear totally real and the participant certainly does not see them as an illusion. Following his experience as a teenager and subsequent career in Quantum physics, Talbot advanced the theory that our consciousness is not in fact resident within our bodies as we think but in fact linked to universal consciousness. What we think of as ‘us’ may in fact be more akin to a widget that has been uploaded into a human body. ‘We’ are in fact somewhere else on the other end of the link – hence having the ability to look down upon ourselves when the ECE occurs.
Obviously as our understanding of these events increases alongside our understanding of the human brain and universal consciousness, we may discover not only more about what parts of the brain are involved in ECE’s but that we can all voluntary astral travel at will.
Is Facebook the Latest Tool for Predicting Love?
Put away those Tarot cards, close your ephemeris and pack away your crystal ball. According to the latest data revealed by Facebook’s data science team and Jon Kleinberg of Cornell University, a couple’s Facebook activity can tell us a lot about which direction their relationship is heading. Obviously millions of couples have profiles on Facebook and unlike research in the past which has been mostly compiled by on-line dating sites, Facebook users are comprised not only of couples who have met online – but via every possible way we can think of. By analysing the data from status updates, Facebook and Kleinberg have been able to identify which couples are set for lasting love – and those who are heading for separate rooms in Heartbreak Hotel.
The most interesting fact to emerge from the study was that couples who shared the most common interests were the ones most likely to stay together – not having lots of friends in common. It was normal for most couples to have different friends in lots of social groups however that did not necessarily overlap. So, if you are worried that your squeeze is going to dump or de-friend you, suggesting they add your family, friends and co-workers isn’t going to slow down impending doom.
You don’t need to be psychic or a data scientist or even be surprised to hear that couples who appear in lots of pictures together or who check out each other’s activity scored higher (70%) than those who didn’t. But again, the researchers were keen to point out that taking loads of photos of your partner (with or without you) and posting them did nothing to stall a break-up from occurring if that was the direction the relationship was heading. But as far as predicting if a friend’s relationship (or even your own) is heading south, then the team found that couples stopping appearing in pictures together or commenting on each other’s status was a telling sign.
They also gathered data on whether any particular time of year was a busy one for break-ups and discovered that the summer months are the most likely period for changing your status to ‘single’. This of course could be due to the fact that many Facebook users are college or university students and with the freedom of the summer break looming, cut loose. However, they did note a drop in break-ups around Valentine’s Day so beleaguered couples may just last long enough to enjoy one last wine and roses day before calling it quits.
So, before you rush on-line checking out all your friend’s profiles – what did the study reveal about lasting love? Aside from having interests in common it really does appear time is on our side. The researchers found that the longer a couple has been together, the more likely they are to stay together. “About half of all Facebook relationships that have survived three months are likely to survive to four years or longer,” the team reported on their own Facebook blog post. This fits in with what psychology tells us about relationships in that it takes around 90 days for us to really get to know the person we are with properly. So, if we make it to that milestone we are more likely to be in for the long haul. Obviously, if you have been Facebook stalking your ex and she or he has been in their new relationship for 90 days now or more, you might want to bear this statistic in mind and move on!
Data is always interesting especially when it backs up psychology. But at the end of the day when it comes to predicting love, I always believe it is our own intuition which is the most accurate. When you think back over your past relationships, chances are you knew if it wasn’t going to last – even if you didn’t want to believe it and hoped it wasn’t true. All of us can face relationship issues but again, we usually know deep down inside whether we are going to survive them – or not. Data can back up our intuition and Facebook can provide us with yet another tool to gauge the health of our relationships and also hone our intuitive skills while doing so. Chances are next time you see a photo of a friend with their partner on your Facebook feed you’ll be able to tell exactly where the relationship is heading just by looking at it!
