Lara Van Hulzen's Blog, page 4
October 3, 2016
Why I Friend Zoned Social MediaI
My kids tease me that I blame everything on social media, even down to why it's still 95 degrees here - in the fall. (Don't even get me started.) And I have to admit, they aren't wrong. I'm grateful because my three teenagers have less of a relationship with social media than I do. My daughter is only on snapchat and my boys only on Instagram. They post nothing. One reads funny posts, the other chats with his friends and loves pages like Dude Perfect. The difference is...
I get emotionally involved in social media.
I read about something that has absolutely nothing to do with me and I'm a hot mess over it for hours. Half the time I don't even know why I feel angst until I think about it and go, "Yeah! It's been since I read about such and such that I feel so down, or crummy, or sad, or anxious. Theses are not good things.
However, as a writer, I sort of kind of need to be on social media.
Because of this fact, I can't totally break up with social media, but I did decide to Friend Zone it. It's mind boggling how much different life is for me. I know that sounds dramatic. Maybe it is, a little. But I'm not kidding. I've been reading a book called Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist. It's a game changer, people. Like, life changing. At least for me. I'll be the first to admit, although not proudly, that I have spent way too much time on social media when I'd truly rather be focused on my family, my writing, the world around me.
I tried an experiment last week. I took all social media apps off my phone. I only have them now on my iPad, which for the most part floats from my office to the kitchen at my house. It's not with me 24/7 the way my phone is. At first, I found myself going to check sites many, many, many times a day. Too many. But the habit stopped once I remembered they weren't there and it was too much of a pain to try and find my iPad or go online. As far as my author sites go, I can post from an app on my phone but that's it. I can't check 96 times a day.
Here's what I've gained from Friend Zoning social media:
1) I have a lot more time in my day
2) I'm more focused. My brain isn't full of stuff I don't need to know.
3) I'm more in the moment. I'm actually having conversations with my husband and kids without the distraction of my phone or a screen or anything else.
4) I'm getting a ton of writing done. For whatever reason, always checking social media gave me this mental stress that my To Do list was miles long. Turns out, it's not. It's totally doable. So I can shut my brain off from thinking there's a ton to do and just write.
5) I'm happier. No kidding. I'm enjoying meals more. I'm watching baseball - like actually watching the game. Not sort of, kind of, focused on it while looking at social media. I'm talking with friends after Crossfit because I have the time and I'm not thinking I need to get back to posting things for work. I'm literally in the moment that is happening, and I'm not thinking about posting it anywhere.
6) This might sound strange but I'm enjoying social media more. Now that we are just friends, I can sit down for a short amount of time per day, maybe every other day, and really look at pictures, chat with people. Be engaged. But then I walk away and live life. I think I have more to bring to the table because I'm not always there.
I've gotten social media brain before and like any other habit, I have to break myself of it. I was sitting outside the other day with Thing 2 looking at the sky and the trees. He commented on how cool the sunlight looked on the leaves, part of them in the shade, others lit up by the sun. I had a a thought of taking a picture I could maybe post later, but it was fleeting. My phone was nowhere around and the moment with my son was WAY more important than going to find it to take a photo. And I wanted that moment to stay ours. Not share it.
I think that's what's tough. We are a society now that shares everything. And that's not all bad. I like social media. I really do. But at a certain level. For me, I have to make boundaries, draw the line on how much I share and how much I'm taking in.
What does this mean for a writer, you ask? Well, see number four above. And not only am I getting my writing done, my writing is better. No joke. I'm reading more, journaling more, thinking about the clouds as they float by and how I would describe them in a story. My mind is clear of all the extras I used to fill it with. It has the space to toy with images and create.
And I wouldn't want it any other way.
I get emotionally involved in social media.
I read about something that has absolutely nothing to do with me and I'm a hot mess over it for hours. Half the time I don't even know why I feel angst until I think about it and go, "Yeah! It's been since I read about such and such that I feel so down, or crummy, or sad, or anxious. Theses are not good things.
However, as a writer, I sort of kind of need to be on social media.
Because of this fact, I can't totally break up with social media, but I did decide to Friend Zone it. It's mind boggling how much different life is for me. I know that sounds dramatic. Maybe it is, a little. But I'm not kidding. I've been reading a book called Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist. It's a game changer, people. Like, life changing. At least for me. I'll be the first to admit, although not proudly, that I have spent way too much time on social media when I'd truly rather be focused on my family, my writing, the world around me.
I tried an experiment last week. I took all social media apps off my phone. I only have them now on my iPad, which for the most part floats from my office to the kitchen at my house. It's not with me 24/7 the way my phone is. At first, I found myself going to check sites many, many, many times a day. Too many. But the habit stopped once I remembered they weren't there and it was too much of a pain to try and find my iPad or go online. As far as my author sites go, I can post from an app on my phone but that's it. I can't check 96 times a day.
Here's what I've gained from Friend Zoning social media:
1) I have a lot more time in my day
2) I'm more focused. My brain isn't full of stuff I don't need to know.
3) I'm more in the moment. I'm actually having conversations with my husband and kids without the distraction of my phone or a screen or anything else.
4) I'm getting a ton of writing done. For whatever reason, always checking social media gave me this mental stress that my To Do list was miles long. Turns out, it's not. It's totally doable. So I can shut my brain off from thinking there's a ton to do and just write.
5) I'm happier. No kidding. I'm enjoying meals more. I'm watching baseball - like actually watching the game. Not sort of, kind of, focused on it while looking at social media. I'm talking with friends after Crossfit because I have the time and I'm not thinking I need to get back to posting things for work. I'm literally in the moment that is happening, and I'm not thinking about posting it anywhere.
6) This might sound strange but I'm enjoying social media more. Now that we are just friends, I can sit down for a short amount of time per day, maybe every other day, and really look at pictures, chat with people. Be engaged. But then I walk away and live life. I think I have more to bring to the table because I'm not always there.
I've gotten social media brain before and like any other habit, I have to break myself of it. I was sitting outside the other day with Thing 2 looking at the sky and the trees. He commented on how cool the sunlight looked on the leaves, part of them in the shade, others lit up by the sun. I had a a thought of taking a picture I could maybe post later, but it was fleeting. My phone was nowhere around and the moment with my son was WAY more important than going to find it to take a photo. And I wanted that moment to stay ours. Not share it.
I think that's what's tough. We are a society now that shares everything. And that's not all bad. I like social media. I really do. But at a certain level. For me, I have to make boundaries, draw the line on how much I share and how much I'm taking in.
What does this mean for a writer, you ask? Well, see number four above. And not only am I getting my writing done, my writing is better. No joke. I'm reading more, journaling more, thinking about the clouds as they float by and how I would describe them in a story. My mind is clear of all the extras I used to fill it with. It has the space to toy with images and create.
And I wouldn't want it any other way.
September 26, 2016
Why I Don't Just Read Romance
I was a reader way before I was a writer. Well, sort of. I loved books as a kid and probably wrote in my first journal the minute I learned how to write. But I always see myself as a lover of books before I see myself as a writer of novels.
I write romance novels, but that isn't all I read.
I read anywhere from 80 to 100 books a year. I set a goal and work toward it each year, but it's not always a tough one to accomplish. Because I love to read and I do it all the time. I would say that 75% of those books are romances - they are my favorite. But they aren't ALL that I read.
Reading a lot of books in my genre makes me a better romance writer.
Reading books outside my genre makes me a better writer.
I have a degree in journalism. That's where I started. And I always saw myself as writing feature articles for a magazine someday. I did write for small newspapers out of college and loved it. But the magazine writing career never took off. I did, however, work as a book reviewer for about 16 years. Which was really cool. I was sent a book by a publishing company that had a catalog they sent out to readers. I would read the book, give a one page review, or report of sorts, that said where I thought the book should be placed in the catalog, among a few other things. It was a great way to read free books and get paid, albeit a small amount, to write a review and give my opinion.
And it taught me a lot. It taught me how to read an entire book and whittle down to one page not only a synopsis of the story, but what I thought of it as well. It also taught me to read outside the genres I tend to enjoy more than others.
I firmly believe that as a writer, you need to be a reader. A rabid reader. And most definitely within the genre you want to write. But I've noticed lately that when I step outside of my genre and read a mainstream fiction or a thriller or mystery or even a memoir or non-fiction book, my view of words shifts. I see sentences written in ways I don't always see them. Sights, sounds, tastes are described in new ways. And it expands how I create the words in my head and then put them on the page.
I'm mesmerized by the work of Erica Bauermeister, Anne Patchett, Ruth Reichl...just to name a few. And there are countless romance writers I love. RaeAnne Thayne, Susan Mallery, Julia Quinn... I just read a thriller by Blake Crouch called Dark Matter. Fascinating! All such different genres, all brilliant writing. All good for a writer to read.
What about you? Who are some of your favorite authors? Favorite genres?
I write romance novels, but that isn't all I read.
I read anywhere from 80 to 100 books a year. I set a goal and work toward it each year, but it's not always a tough one to accomplish. Because I love to read and I do it all the time. I would say that 75% of those books are romances - they are my favorite. But they aren't ALL that I read.
Reading a lot of books in my genre makes me a better romance writer.
Reading books outside my genre makes me a better writer.
I have a degree in journalism. That's where I started. And I always saw myself as writing feature articles for a magazine someday. I did write for small newspapers out of college and loved it. But the magazine writing career never took off. I did, however, work as a book reviewer for about 16 years. Which was really cool. I was sent a book by a publishing company that had a catalog they sent out to readers. I would read the book, give a one page review, or report of sorts, that said where I thought the book should be placed in the catalog, among a few other things. It was a great way to read free books and get paid, albeit a small amount, to write a review and give my opinion.
And it taught me a lot. It taught me how to read an entire book and whittle down to one page not only a synopsis of the story, but what I thought of it as well. It also taught me to read outside the genres I tend to enjoy more than others.
I firmly believe that as a writer, you need to be a reader. A rabid reader. And most definitely within the genre you want to write. But I've noticed lately that when I step outside of my genre and read a mainstream fiction or a thriller or mystery or even a memoir or non-fiction book, my view of words shifts. I see sentences written in ways I don't always see them. Sights, sounds, tastes are described in new ways. And it expands how I create the words in my head and then put them on the page.
I'm mesmerized by the work of Erica Bauermeister, Anne Patchett, Ruth Reichl...just to name a few. And there are countless romance writers I love. RaeAnne Thayne, Susan Mallery, Julia Quinn... I just read a thriller by Blake Crouch called Dark Matter. Fascinating! All such different genres, all brilliant writing. All good for a writer to read.
What about you? Who are some of your favorite authors? Favorite genres?
September 19, 2016
#momlife #writinglife
I blog here about writing, but before anything else in my life, I'm a wife and a mom. I have three kids (maybe I've said that already. If so, bear with me as I repeat myself.) The Girl Child is 18 and has been at college for about two weeks now. Yes, I'm still adjusting. (See The Almost Empty Nester for details) My twin boys are 16. I can them Thing 1 and Thing 2.
The boys played football when they were younger, but decided to pursue other things in high school. The Girl Child is in college now, so my days of going to volleyball games are over.
In a nutshell, life is mellow.
And as much as I love it, it takes some getting used to. Our society as a whole is over scheduled and crazy busy. There are countless books out now on simplifying life and learning to say no so we aren't overbooked.
Some days I feel ours is the only family not racing from one thing to the next. It's weird.
And yet, it's also pretty wonderful.
I don't live in the present well. I'm a forward thinker. When I write a book, I can obsess over the deadline date and stress myself to no end about the bigness of the project rather than live in each day, each moment and write. Chip away at it one word, one sentence at a time.
One would think with my life being more mellow, I'd have more writing time. And I do. But I have to be careful there too. Taking on too much and making my schedule overly busy in my work life because things are a big mellow doesn't do me any favors.
The #momlife and #writinglife are an interesting mix. An awesome one, to be sure. But one that takes intentional balance. And quieting the voices that tell you there's more to be done, more to accomplish, more to overcome - more, more more...
Me? I'm good with less. Less stress. Less busyness. Less of more.
Less, less, less works for me.
What about you? Are you feeling it's time to say less is more? The Almost Empty Nester
The boys played football when they were younger, but decided to pursue other things in high school. The Girl Child is in college now, so my days of going to volleyball games are over.
In a nutshell, life is mellow.
And as much as I love it, it takes some getting used to. Our society as a whole is over scheduled and crazy busy. There are countless books out now on simplifying life and learning to say no so we aren't overbooked.
Some days I feel ours is the only family not racing from one thing to the next. It's weird.
And yet, it's also pretty wonderful.
I don't live in the present well. I'm a forward thinker. When I write a book, I can obsess over the deadline date and stress myself to no end about the bigness of the project rather than live in each day, each moment and write. Chip away at it one word, one sentence at a time.
One would think with my life being more mellow, I'd have more writing time. And I do. But I have to be careful there too. Taking on too much and making my schedule overly busy in my work life because things are a big mellow doesn't do me any favors.
The #momlife and #writinglife are an interesting mix. An awesome one, to be sure. But one that takes intentional balance. And quieting the voices that tell you there's more to be done, more to accomplish, more to overcome - more, more more...
Me? I'm good with less. Less stress. Less busyness. Less of more.
Less, less, less works for me.
What about you? Are you feeling it's time to say less is more? The Almost Empty Nester
September 12, 2016
Keeping Social Media Social
I don't know about you but as an author, I'm a little confused.
I read in blogs and articles that social media doesn't sell books and then scroll to the next list of blogs and articles that say to authors they are dead in the water without a Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram (and the list goes on and on) presence.
So what gives?
Well, I wish I had a solid answer. But I'll say this- I have found both views to be right.
I'm no social media mogul or marketing guru by any stretch of the imagination, but I do read a ton on the subject and I am an author. And for me personally, the key is to remember that...
Social media is social...
I'm a pretty strong extrovert. I like people. I like talking to people. Hanging out. Which means I have to really reign in my time on social media sites. As an author, I can get caught up really fast in the ever continuing spiral of worrying about the number of followers, how many people liked a certain post, and the ever horrifying desire to look at who un-followed me at any point. (Word to the wise, don't put those apps on your phone that show you that stuff. It's a black hole of sadness and misery. Trust me.)
Being a reader is not the same as it used to be. I can say the same for being a writer. As a reader, I used to look the back of a book jacket and read the few sentences that talked about the author. That was it. That was all you got. Now, you can chat on twitter or Facebook with Susan Mallery or Nora Roberts. It's a whole new world.
I can sucked in pretty fast and before I know it, I've wasted precious time simply scrolling through sites, the little voice in the back of my head telling me I'm "working" or "marketing" or attempting to sell books. But I'm not. Because...
Social media is social...
Funny thing, when I get on my author sites and chat with people, spend some time having fun and connecting and then walk away, I enjoy it so much more. There's no stress. In the same way that I like to engage with an author on social media as a reader, I enjoy engaging with readers on my author sites. Will they buy my books because of it? Maybe. But I'd rather view it was my back porch where I get to know readers better and they get to know me.
I can sit and chat then go do what I do that gives us something to talk about - Write Books. Hope that my stories encourage women, make even a tiny difference in their world. Because that's what counts.
I read in blogs and articles that social media doesn't sell books and then scroll to the next list of blogs and articles that say to authors they are dead in the water without a Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram (and the list goes on and on) presence.
So what gives?
Well, I wish I had a solid answer. But I'll say this- I have found both views to be right.
I'm no social media mogul or marketing guru by any stretch of the imagination, but I do read a ton on the subject and I am an author. And for me personally, the key is to remember that...
Social media is social...
I'm a pretty strong extrovert. I like people. I like talking to people. Hanging out. Which means I have to really reign in my time on social media sites. As an author, I can get caught up really fast in the ever continuing spiral of worrying about the number of followers, how many people liked a certain post, and the ever horrifying desire to look at who un-followed me at any point. (Word to the wise, don't put those apps on your phone that show you that stuff. It's a black hole of sadness and misery. Trust me.)
Being a reader is not the same as it used to be. I can say the same for being a writer. As a reader, I used to look the back of a book jacket and read the few sentences that talked about the author. That was it. That was all you got. Now, you can chat on twitter or Facebook with Susan Mallery or Nora Roberts. It's a whole new world.
I can sucked in pretty fast and before I know it, I've wasted precious time simply scrolling through sites, the little voice in the back of my head telling me I'm "working" or "marketing" or attempting to sell books. But I'm not. Because...
Social media is social...
Funny thing, when I get on my author sites and chat with people, spend some time having fun and connecting and then walk away, I enjoy it so much more. There's no stress. In the same way that I like to engage with an author on social media as a reader, I enjoy engaging with readers on my author sites. Will they buy my books because of it? Maybe. But I'd rather view it was my back porch where I get to know readers better and they get to know me.
I can sit and chat then go do what I do that gives us something to talk about - Write Books. Hope that my stories encourage women, make even a tiny difference in their world. Because that's what counts.
August 29, 2016
Is Better Really What Is Best?
I was looking at my phone the other day and all the apps I have. I'm ashamed to admit the amount of ones I have that track things. I don't even want to think how much time in a day I spend typing in information all in an attempt to "better" myself.
Is better really what's best?
Don't get me wrong. It's good to have some self improvement going on in life, but if I'm always trying to improve am I ever enjoying what is? Am I ever able to say, "things are good. Who I am is good."
We are taking our oldest child (The Girl Child) to college next week. I'm a horrid mess, but that's another blog. (See http://thealmostemptynester.blogspot.com for details) I've battled guilt every day for the past week because I'm not working out as much as I normally do, not tracking how much water I'm having, not tracking my food (I like to keep my sugar consumption low), and basically ignoring all the things that don't have to do with her or her brothers, my husband and my home.
And I'm so freaking happy.
Will I be this way forever? No. I have work to do and things to get done. Will I continue to improve my writing as best I can? Of course. Will I get up each day and give all I can to care for myself, my family, and be productive in my work? Yes. Absolutely. But I can do all those things as I am. I don't need to keep looking towards some other me that's out there that some crazy voice in my head says is better. I'm pretty "best" as is, I think.
I think it's time we give ourselves some grace.
I read recently that we don't trust ourselves anymore. I love that. We don't trust ourselves to make healthy choices with food. We don't trust that we'll make the decisions we need to make in life that are positive. Why? When did we stop believing that who we are is enough?
And here's a funny side note - I'm still drinking water, I'm still going on walks so I'm not sedentary (with The Girl Child or The Hubby or the dog), I'm enjoying meals with her (we shared a lobster omelette the other day that was ridonkulous) and generally soaking it all in.
I'm loving life instead of tracking it.
Again, trying to better myself is not a bad thing. Keeping track of stuff helps me stay focused. But if I'm so dialed in to some person or way of life I want to be or have, am I ignoring who I am and what I actually do have? Because I don't want that. Who I am and what I have is pretty great.
Is better really what's best?
Don't get me wrong. It's good to have some self improvement going on in life, but if I'm always trying to improve am I ever enjoying what is? Am I ever able to say, "things are good. Who I am is good."
We are taking our oldest child (The Girl Child) to college next week. I'm a horrid mess, but that's another blog. (See http://thealmostemptynester.blogspot.com for details) I've battled guilt every day for the past week because I'm not working out as much as I normally do, not tracking how much water I'm having, not tracking my food (I like to keep my sugar consumption low), and basically ignoring all the things that don't have to do with her or her brothers, my husband and my home.
And I'm so freaking happy.
Will I be this way forever? No. I have work to do and things to get done. Will I continue to improve my writing as best I can? Of course. Will I get up each day and give all I can to care for myself, my family, and be productive in my work? Yes. Absolutely. But I can do all those things as I am. I don't need to keep looking towards some other me that's out there that some crazy voice in my head says is better. I'm pretty "best" as is, I think.
I think it's time we give ourselves some grace.
I read recently that we don't trust ourselves anymore. I love that. We don't trust ourselves to make healthy choices with food. We don't trust that we'll make the decisions we need to make in life that are positive. Why? When did we stop believing that who we are is enough?
And here's a funny side note - I'm still drinking water, I'm still going on walks so I'm not sedentary (with The Girl Child or The Hubby or the dog), I'm enjoying meals with her (we shared a lobster omelette the other day that was ridonkulous) and generally soaking it all in.
I'm loving life instead of tracking it.
Again, trying to better myself is not a bad thing. Keeping track of stuff helps me stay focused. But if I'm so dialed in to some person or way of life I want to be or have, am I ignoring who I am and what I actually do have? Because I don't want that. Who I am and what I have is pretty great.
August 19, 2016
Letting Go
I took my first golf lesson a few days ago. I tried to get into the sport years ago, but the kids were small and it was just too tough to get to the course to practice. And golf takes lots of practice. With the boys now sixteen and both wanting to play, along with a husband who is a fantastic golfer, I figured it was time to get back out there and give it another go.
My lesson went well. The young woman pro who teaches was precious. So sweet and patient with me. I have a grasp of the basics of a golf swing, but nothing to write home about. She watched me hit a few then made some suggestions.
In a nutshell, I'm tense and trying to control my swing too much.
Hmmm, that resonated with me on more levels that just golf.
My fifth book released last week and as cool as that is, as grateful as I am for my writing journey, I still tense up, stress, and try to control everything. I tell myself to not check for new reviews every hour, but I still find myself on the computer or my phone scouring for them. I bat away that voice in the back of my head that says I need to be on social media ALL DAY or I'll lose followers and readers. People have lives. They're not on it all day. Well, maybe some. But a precious few.
Instead of relaxing and letting the golf club do it's thing, I hold tight and swing hard thinking that's what will make my shot rocket down the fairway. In my writing life, I obsess over every detail and marketing report and number until I give myself a headache. Not good. Not good at all.
As I released my vice grip on my golf club and relaxed my swing, the ball went right where I wanted it to and had distance. Hmmmm, go figure.
Maybe if I relax my grip on trying to control everything in my writing life, the sales will come, and everything will move forward as it should. A nice bonus to me being relaxed is that my creativity flourishes. I get character ideas, story scenes, all kinds of good stuff. Because my brain isn't mucked up with all the business stuff I can't control.
My lesson went well. The young woman pro who teaches was precious. So sweet and patient with me. I have a grasp of the basics of a golf swing, but nothing to write home about. She watched me hit a few then made some suggestions.
In a nutshell, I'm tense and trying to control my swing too much.
Hmmm, that resonated with me on more levels that just golf.
My fifth book released last week and as cool as that is, as grateful as I am for my writing journey, I still tense up, stress, and try to control everything. I tell myself to not check for new reviews every hour, but I still find myself on the computer or my phone scouring for them. I bat away that voice in the back of my head that says I need to be on social media ALL DAY or I'll lose followers and readers. People have lives. They're not on it all day. Well, maybe some. But a precious few.
Instead of relaxing and letting the golf club do it's thing, I hold tight and swing hard thinking that's what will make my shot rocket down the fairway. In my writing life, I obsess over every detail and marketing report and number until I give myself a headache. Not good. Not good at all.
As I released my vice grip on my golf club and relaxed my swing, the ball went right where I wanted it to and had distance. Hmmmm, go figure.
Maybe if I relax my grip on trying to control everything in my writing life, the sales will come, and everything will move forward as it should. A nice bonus to me being relaxed is that my creativity flourishes. I get character ideas, story scenes, all kinds of good stuff. Because my brain isn't mucked up with all the business stuff I can't control.
August 15, 2016
It Never Gets Old
This Thursday is release day for my next book, Loving Kate!
And one thing I love about writing is,
It never gets old.
Every book is a fresh start with new characters, even if they're linked to previous books.
Every book has it's own set of fears and stress and deadlines.
Every book has it's moments of "Yes! That's it. That's the scene I wanted to write."
Every book is a journey with twists and turns that keep life exciting.
Every book has a release day with that moment where I get to hold a paperback in my hand for the first time and...
It never gets old.
I love this writing gig. I thank God every day I get to do it. And I'm beyond excited to share this book with everyone.
Happy Reading!! http://bit.ly/29WzO71
And one thing I love about writing is,
It never gets old.
Every book is a fresh start with new characters, even if they're linked to previous books.
Every book has it's own set of fears and stress and deadlines.
Every book has it's moments of "Yes! That's it. That's the scene I wanted to write."
Every book is a journey with twists and turns that keep life exciting.
Every book has a release day with that moment where I get to hold a paperback in my hand for the first time and...
It never gets old.
I love this writing gig. I thank God every day I get to do it. And I'm beyond excited to share this book with everyone.
Happy Reading!! http://bit.ly/29WzO71
August 8, 2016
Owning My Time
I start nesting when my kids go back to school. I get a little OCD nutty. As I've said before, I'm not that writer that sits with my butt in the chair 8-10 hours a day. Judge me if you will, but that's just not me.
I've been cleaning my office closet, helping the boys get their rooms organized and ready so their desks are clear for homework time, and honestly? Cleaning out drawers. It makes me happy. Again, don't judge.
It's easy to compare to other authors and their journeys. I was thinking the other night about an author saying she'd written 65 books. That's freaking awesome. And I'll admit, I felt bad for a few minutes. I did the stupid thing and compared my journey to hers. Then I thought, I may write 10 books, I may write 50. But I will own my time and my journey.
It frustrates me a little when successful authors say there's only one way to make it in this business. Or that if we have coffee dates or actual time with other human beings, we won't be successful. I work hard. I sit my butt in the chair and get it done. Just not the same way someone else does, or for the same amount of time. And that's fine. As I said, they'll probably write more books than me. I applaud them. But I don't want to place my writing life next to theirs and see how I measure up.
It's my time, and I will own it.
I won't justify that I like to go to Crossfit three to four times per week. Yes, that cuts into time I could be writing. But it also gets me moving, is something social for me, and frees my mind up for a bit. I've had some of my best story or character ideas during a workout.
I won't justify that it's summer and my kids are all home, my daughter leaving for college in a few weeks, and we spend quite a bit of time watching Disney movies and baking cookies. Could I be writing then? Yep. But I'm not. I'm soaking in this time with my kids that I will never get back. Nesting and preparing our home and them for the school year is important to me as well. It gets done.
I won't justify that I spent three hours the other day having coffee with my a heart friend who I haven't really seen or talked to in months. And it was awesome. No phones, no distractions. Just good, old fashioned conversation and connection. Loved it.
It's my time, and I will own it.
Will I meet my deadlines to my publisher? Yep. I have my writing time mapped out. I always do. It's all a part of my time. I own it and get my work done.
There's no finish line for writers. We are always writing, whether on paper or in our heads. But it doesn't mean it's all I ever do. I won't write my tenth book and go, Yep, that's it. Call it a day. I'll keep writing. How many books - who knows? But I own my time, all of it. I spend it on what I value, and the writing always comes....
I've been cleaning my office closet, helping the boys get their rooms organized and ready so their desks are clear for homework time, and honestly? Cleaning out drawers. It makes me happy. Again, don't judge.
It's easy to compare to other authors and their journeys. I was thinking the other night about an author saying she'd written 65 books. That's freaking awesome. And I'll admit, I felt bad for a few minutes. I did the stupid thing and compared my journey to hers. Then I thought, I may write 10 books, I may write 50. But I will own my time and my journey.
It frustrates me a little when successful authors say there's only one way to make it in this business. Or that if we have coffee dates or actual time with other human beings, we won't be successful. I work hard. I sit my butt in the chair and get it done. Just not the same way someone else does, or for the same amount of time. And that's fine. As I said, they'll probably write more books than me. I applaud them. But I don't want to place my writing life next to theirs and see how I measure up.
It's my time, and I will own it.
I won't justify that I like to go to Crossfit three to four times per week. Yes, that cuts into time I could be writing. But it also gets me moving, is something social for me, and frees my mind up for a bit. I've had some of my best story or character ideas during a workout.
I won't justify that it's summer and my kids are all home, my daughter leaving for college in a few weeks, and we spend quite a bit of time watching Disney movies and baking cookies. Could I be writing then? Yep. But I'm not. I'm soaking in this time with my kids that I will never get back. Nesting and preparing our home and them for the school year is important to me as well. It gets done.
I won't justify that I spent three hours the other day having coffee with my a heart friend who I haven't really seen or talked to in months. And it was awesome. No phones, no distractions. Just good, old fashioned conversation and connection. Loved it.
It's my time, and I will own it.
Will I meet my deadlines to my publisher? Yep. I have my writing time mapped out. I always do. It's all a part of my time. I own it and get my work done.
There's no finish line for writers. We are always writing, whether on paper or in our heads. But it doesn't mean it's all I ever do. I won't write my tenth book and go, Yep, that's it. Call it a day. I'll keep writing. How many books - who knows? But I own my time, all of it. I spend it on what I value, and the writing always comes....
August 1, 2016
Wasted Time
I went to see Keith Urban in concert with a close friend, my daughter and her bestie. We made it a girls trip up to Tahoe. I've seen him in concert before so I knew it would be a great show. And it was. If you haven't listened to his music before, do so, you can thank me later. Whether you are a country music fan or not is irrelevant. He's a brilliant storyteller in my humble opinion. The fact that he can sing, play the guitar like a mad man, is gorgeous, and has the smoldering Aussie thing going on? All just bonuses. His most recent hit is called Wasted Time. A new favorite for me.
The day of the concert we went to the lake. We rented paddle boards and enjoyed time on the water. Swimming, paddling, laying on our boards chit-chatting about everything and nothing. We sat at a lakeside Greek cafe and had amazing gyros and greek salad. Shopping for cowgirl hats rounded out the day before we headed to the concert.
The opening acts were great and I soaked in my daughter Snapchatting the music, us singing - I even Snapchatted some myself. (This is a big deal. I was proud.) Keith's portion of the show began and we danced the night away, raising our glasses and singing along. (This pic cracks me up - the Girl Child raising her water bottle.) I even woke up the next morning with less of a voice from the merriment.
As much as we posted things on Snapchat and recorded things on our phones, for the most part, we were in the moment. Really. Singing, dancing. It was awesome. As Keith crooned on about love, I got about six scenes in my head I can use for a book. When he sang about wasted time, I thought of my toes in the sand earlier that day or the cool water against my skin as I swam.
It's life. Life is filled with all these tremendous moments. And they can be as big as my daughter going to college in a few weeks, or laughing with friends while floating on paddle boards in the lake. I love the song Wasted Time because he talks of how the best times of life could be labeled wasted time. I think it's up to us to define wasted.
Me? I'm grateful for every "wasted" moment. It inspires me, fills my world, and gives me something to write about.
The day of the concert we went to the lake. We rented paddle boards and enjoyed time on the water. Swimming, paddling, laying on our boards chit-chatting about everything and nothing. We sat at a lakeside Greek cafe and had amazing gyros and greek salad. Shopping for cowgirl hats rounded out the day before we headed to the concert.
The opening acts were great and I soaked in my daughter Snapchatting the music, us singing - I even Snapchatted some myself. (This is a big deal. I was proud.) Keith's portion of the show began and we danced the night away, raising our glasses and singing along. (This pic cracks me up - the Girl Child raising her water bottle.) I even woke up the next morning with less of a voice from the merriment.
As much as we posted things on Snapchat and recorded things on our phones, for the most part, we were in the moment. Really. Singing, dancing. It was awesome. As Keith crooned on about love, I got about six scenes in my head I can use for a book. When he sang about wasted time, I thought of my toes in the sand earlier that day or the cool water against my skin as I swam.
It's life. Life is filled with all these tremendous moments. And they can be as big as my daughter going to college in a few weeks, or laughing with friends while floating on paddle boards in the lake. I love the song Wasted Time because he talks of how the best times of life could be labeled wasted time. I think it's up to us to define wasted.
Me? I'm grateful for every "wasted" moment. It inspires me, fills my world, and gives me something to write about.
July 25, 2016
Writing Advice? Do It Your Way
I spent all last week at the RWA conference in San Diego. As fun as it was to meet new friends, meet with editors, and dress up for the Rita Awards, there were a lot of sessions to attend and much to learn. This business is constantly changing. There is definitely not a finish line on information.
And there's a lot of writing advice out there. Which is not a bad thing. One session I attended taught by Tessa Dare was chock full of great advice for writing romance.
However, over the years I've learned that a lot of the writing process is personal.
Some writers write a gazillion words a sitting. Some work in one long string of weeks and months straight. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.
But that's not how I work. How do I work?
1) I map things out with chapters per writing session. My chapters are approximately 2500 words long. I can usually hit that in a two hour writing session. But then I'm out (see #3). Depending on my week, I get 3-5 chapters done.
2) I have 3 kids. My weekly schedule has some consistency but not always. I can't always say I'm going to write every day or every Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I have to look at each week and plan accordingly. (I do live and die by calendars though. It's somewhat of an addiction.)
3) I'm a mover. I can't sit for long periods of time. I may do a two hour writing session but in that two hours, I will switch a few loads of laundry, marinate dinner, or make beds. I'm always thinking of my writing. Sometimes I even move around talking to myself. It helps me get to the next scene of I'm stuck. Sitting there staring at a screen does nothing for me. Moving around does. I'll come back a few minutes later and words flow. My actual writing time adds up to two hours, but it's not always two straight hours of my butt in the chair. HOWEVER, the writing time happens and the work gets done.
If the way you write is working, then do it. Be open to other ideas and try new things if something isn't working. But take any advice as just that - advice. Which means you can take it or leave it.
And there's a lot of writing advice out there. Which is not a bad thing. One session I attended taught by Tessa Dare was chock full of great advice for writing romance.
However, over the years I've learned that a lot of the writing process is personal.
Some writers write a gazillion words a sitting. Some work in one long string of weeks and months straight. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.
But that's not how I work. How do I work?
1) I map things out with chapters per writing session. My chapters are approximately 2500 words long. I can usually hit that in a two hour writing session. But then I'm out (see #3). Depending on my week, I get 3-5 chapters done.
2) I have 3 kids. My weekly schedule has some consistency but not always. I can't always say I'm going to write every day or every Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I have to look at each week and plan accordingly. (I do live and die by calendars though. It's somewhat of an addiction.)
3) I'm a mover. I can't sit for long periods of time. I may do a two hour writing session but in that two hours, I will switch a few loads of laundry, marinate dinner, or make beds. I'm always thinking of my writing. Sometimes I even move around talking to myself. It helps me get to the next scene of I'm stuck. Sitting there staring at a screen does nothing for me. Moving around does. I'll come back a few minutes later and words flow. My actual writing time adds up to two hours, but it's not always two straight hours of my butt in the chair. HOWEVER, the writing time happens and the work gets done.
If the way you write is working, then do it. Be open to other ideas and try new things if something isn't working. But take any advice as just that - advice. Which means you can take it or leave it.
