Diana Pharaoh Francis's Blog

Gas fireplace and F bombs

 

I’m knitting again and I’m learning to make two socks at a time using the magic loop method. Actually, I will be starting next week because I’m taking a class. I know how to use magic loop with other things, and I know how to make socks, but I want to learn magic loop for socks and also new sock techniques. I like to be able to learn in person. I’m also doing a KAL (knit along) at the same shop (Shout out to Wild Knits) and it’s coming along. It’s a long sleeved sweater, but I”m making it in a more summer yarn with short sleeves. It’s kind of a lavender pink.

 

I also just finished two F bombs for a giveaway at the Rainforest Writers Village, which is a writers retreat I like to go to every year on Lake Quinault in Washington. It’s an amazing place and an amazing group of people. This is the first time they’ve offered four sessions and I’m in that fourth group. Hopefully I nail down a lot of words.

 

If you are a knitter, this is the F bomb pattern. I use I-my l-cord for the wick. I like the look better than crocheting it: https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/the-f-bomb

This is the sweater pattern on Ravelry: https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/tresse-2

 

Monday I plan to go to the Capitol and support and anti-book-banning bill. Today I’m also participating in the economic blackout. Hopefully enough people do to remind the orange maggot and his minions that We the People do exist and we’re pissed.

 

Learned yesterday that our gas fireplace is shot and cannot be fixed. Sigh. The top gets hot, warps, and separates from the seal and the fireplace shuts down. This last is good, because otherwise it would leak CO2 into the house. Yay for safety elements working. We do have a CO2 alarm in the room, but it doesn’t go off until there are dangerous levels in the room. The fireplace shut itself off before that.

 

It’s an older one, and not cost efficient to use, so we’ll be able to get one that is more efficient and environmentally friendly, so that will be a positive. But it’s expensive, and tariffs will make it more so. Fuck the orange maggot.In other news, it’s 62 degrees out and practically balmy. I was out in a tank top and wishing I’d put on shorts.

January of 2025

Oh boy. So much to look back on and so much to look forward to. Too much. Let me sum up. (Princess Bride references, y’all!)

Last years….moments of suck happened. Long days and weeks. Argh! The suck is real! And then there were many good days and good moments. Too much time spent paying attention to politics. It’s all important, but let’s face it: There is much in the world I have no control over. Worrying about it is useless unless and until I can do something.

Look! A lesson I’m trying to learn! Along with radical acceptance. I’m a work in progress. I published my book on writing characters last year, republished all the Path books, did the demon divorce novella and Hunger Pains, which is a romantic short story. I’ve been working on a book that I call Draig even though that’s not really a title and am about 80K words in and need to write the end. That should take me about 20K to 30K I think. Unless I write longer, and I have just that sort of tendency. Also in 2024, I learned to play disc golf better and I have so much fun. This is one of my favorite things to do. My favorite disc (currently) is a Diamond Opto Ice, but I do like my Gravity Saint. I also started doing yogalates, which is my version of trying mashing some yoga with some pilates to gain muscle, balance, and flexibility. Thought I have fallen slightly off the wagon and have to get back to more regularly doing it.

Now moving on to 2025. I have goals! And ideas! and hopes! And Dreams! LOL. I don’t do resolutions, but am determined to make a couple of changes to get myself back on track better. First, I plan to figure out a method of plotting that will work for me. I’ve already been working on the how to do it, and have some strategies. Now I have to buckle down and just do it, as Nike would say. The hard part is convincing my brain that in fact, it should do what I want it to do. *shakes fist at brain*

I’m hoping to get a new Everyday Disasters written this year, and a new Mission: Magic, plus a Horngate novella, and then re-release all my Horngate books as well as the novella. I also hope to publish Draig, which is full on romance fantasy. I fought it, but that’s what it wanted to be and so I’m bowing to its desires. I’m also trying to be a lot more organized and focused on work. I’m not yet feeling organized, but I am writing more, so that’s positive.

Devon Monk and I also started a kind of a podcast. We’ve got one video up and another coming this week. It’s called Between the Lines and we plan to release at least once a month, but would like to go more. We want to talk about writing, books, and the behind the scenes, and really, whatever feels right. Check it out and be sure to comment and let us know if there’s something specific you want to hear about or anything else. Subscribe! Yes!

I’ve been doing some horse painting, but not as much as I’d like. My house is a mess and really, I no longer really care that much. My toilets and showers are clean. So’s my kitchen.

I’m still having health issues. Adjusting meds and all that so hopefully it gets better. It might be some long covid shit, or just crappy health. I’m posting on my Patreon, too. Feel free to come over and have a visit. Putting up a variety of things, though I want to revamp a bit.

I’ll be at Seattle Worldcon this year! It’s going to be fun!

Hope you all are grand!

XOXO

Di

Book Sale for You!

I’m a member of the Bookview Café coop. Right now and until January 1st, you get 1/2 off ebooks from all the authors on the site, including me. There are some fabulous offerings there. I hope you can grab a bunch!

XOXO

Di

Things That I’m Thinking About

The image for this post is a horse I’m working on. It’s a test piece because I’m trying out some new stuff. And my airbrush is trying hard not to work like it supposed to. Which is to say, it doesn’t want to blow paint. I mean, that’s the whole reason for it’s existence. Hmm.

One thing I’m thinking about. Ever notice how much language gets passed down and we have no idea where we got it or what it really means? For instance, the one I was thinking about the other day, Ollie Ollie Oxen Free. I don’t remember where I got that. I know what it means, but don’t remember ever being told. Course only recently learned that Tag, as in the game of, stands for Touch and Go. What?  Do you have words that you know but have no idea how you came by them? They’ve been handed down?

I’m writing romance right now and letting myself go over the top with the emotional drama. May not stay there, but I feel like being all emotional and having it lead to a happily ever after. I need a whole lot more happily ever after in my life. Don’t we all.

I want to figure out how to do videos for TikTok or Insta. I’m absolutely clueless. But I want to. Might not last long, but for now, it’s what I want to do. Might be fun.

Thinking about my tribe/community and how I can be more supportive and involved and happy-helping.

Not thinking about the political world but vaguely wondering when the GOP will eat themselves.

Stil doing my ‘yogilates’ which is my made-up version of yoga with some pilates stirred in, all learned online and while I don’t know what i’m doing, I am getting more flexible and stronger. Go me!

I’ve not been painting a lot for awhile, so I’m happy that I’ve got a couple coming together. Oh, yes, doing a holiday horse. Let me dig up a pic. It’s red! And there’s more work to be done. Posting some more stuff on Patreon.

And that is all for today.

XOXO

Di

What Happens Now. My Post-Election Thoughts

I’ve not responded to the election news until now because frankly I feel so betrayed by my fellow Americans and so disappointed in people who would choose Nazis and fascists, who would elect men who have and want to rob women of their rights, who don’t care about people who are struggling, who want to get rid of Obamacare and social security…. Those Americans who voted for them chose evil, and now we all have to live with it.

I’ve also not responded because I’ve been floundering with how to live through the next four years and praying to who and whatever might be listening that it’s only two that the GOP has full power. The thing that is not changing is that the world will turn and we must go on.

But how? I feel helpless in so many ways. But here’s what I’ve decided. For now, I will avoid news. I can’t handle it. I have to prioritize my mental health. That will include The Daily Show and Stephen Cobert and John Oliver for now. And yes, part of me plans to live with my head in the sand and my fingers in my ears while I ignore the outer world. Because I can do precious little.

That said, what I can do is resist whenever possible. I don’t know what that will look like, but I will do it. The next thing I can do is concentrated on my friends and family and look after them as best I can. Trouble is coming for many and I’m relatively protected despite being a woman. So when I can I will do what I can. I think this is something we all need to do. Maybe it’s something as little as connecting people to resources. Or sending a little money when I can. Or offering encouragement and hugs. Or jokes. Or whatever I can while also keeping myself afloat and going.

We all have a large network of people who’s lives we touch a lot, through social media and just at the grocery checkout line. Check in with each other. Notice need when you can. Help if you can, offer kind words when you can. Tell people they are loved and needed. When you can, keep educating yourselves. Education defeats tyranny; knowledge is power. Share books. Be the underground railroad and not just for women in red states who need healthcare, or LGBTQ+ or non-white people, or non-Christians, be the underground railroad for knowledge, safety, choice, and know that what you’re doing is lying in wait for the right time and the means to strike against whatever shape evil takes in your world.

I shall write. Almost all my books are about good defeating evil, about people finding justice, about community and the love of family, friends, and lovers. I’ve struggled to write this last year. My health has been crappy the last four or five months and I’m still working on the right cocktail of medications to keep things in order. I’ve given far too much mental space to politics. So now I will give it to where it’s needed and can help the most. Writing is the most powerful thing I can do at this point to resist. So I will.

This is my plan. We lost the battle, and the war will be ugly, but we are resilient, and we are on the side of good. I will be inspired by Ukraine. I will be inspired by all those who’ve fought and strived against evil. Most of all, I will not accept that this is America’s future.

I keep thinking of William Butler Yeats’ poem: Easter, 1916. I wonder what terrible beauty has been born from this election. Ireland suffered under the heels of brutal power for centuries and they never gave up. They have a lot to teach us.

I keep thinking of a song from Rocky Horror Picture show: Over at Frankenstein’s Place. This unruly, uncontrollable, explosively transgressive and unrepentantly rebellious movie blatantly defied cultural norms. It told us being ourselves was valued no matter who we are. That love is possible anywhere and it’s to be cherished. It taught us that even though Frank is killed by those who hate who he is, the seeds of change have been planted and as Peter Gabriel said in Biko, “You can blow out a candle, but you can’t blow out a fire/ Once the flames begin to catch, the wind will blow it higher.”

So let us become the wind. Let us be the storm. Let us cause a conflagration that no one can put out.

Pet Peeves—A Tautology I Hate With the Passion of a Thousand Suns

Yes, I have pet peeves. Yes, among them are certain tautologies. Some of them are like fingernails on a chalkboard for me. Let me say more.

Tautologies phrases where you say the same thing twice. We use them all the time and usually it’s not an issue for me. I’m as guilty as anybody of using them. That said, there is one that drives me up a fucking wall. I hear it all the time and my family is getting used to me banging me head on a table when I hear it. There’s usually shrieking and foot stomping too. Yes, sometimes I’m a child.

My dad was one of those guys who would start yelling at the TV when the news reported on politicians he hated. I, apparently, do the same thing for this one particular turn of phrase. I’ll tell you what it is in just a minute, because first I want you to think about any phrases (aside from the word moist, which is really a perfectly legitimate word and I really don’t get why so many people hate it. I think it’s because they have very good imaginations and mind’s eyes).

Anyhow, back to examples. And feel free to share any you can think of.Stand up (stand implies up, so why say up at all?)Sit down (same as above. You say Sit up when a dog sits up because it’s outside of expectation).Think about other up and down phrases: lay down, drink down…Completely done (Again, done implies completely so why say it?)Totally undone (seeing a pattern? any undone is total. Same as being partially pregnant makes no sense. You are or you aren’t. Why say totally pregnant?free gift (pretty obvious there)

Now there are good reasons to use tautologies on occasion. You might use them for emphasis, for instance. Stylistically, your prose is stronger without them because you’re not cluttering up (there’s one there–cluttering doesn’t need up) your writing.

All right. Ready for my most hated tautology? The one that makes me scream? I don’t correct people, but I do wince and judge. You should know that. Okay, here goes:

Thought to myself. She thought to herself. He thought to himself.

Unless you’re telepathic, you can’t think to anybody else. It’s not possible. OMG writing those made me itchy and knotted my stomach. Why am I so sensitive to that one? ARGH.

Did you think of some tautologies that annoy you? What are they? Share in the comments.

All The Things, Give Or Take

Oh so many things are going on and I’m doing a piss poor job of updating people. So I will give you all that I can remember in a weird stream-of-conscious sort of montage.

I have been diagnosed with ADHD.  Apparently I’ve had it all my life but had no idea. This accounts for much in my life. Apparently many women are undiagnosed. It’s called the lost generation of women and we’ve learned to mask supremely well and being Gen X means that that masking was, um, aided? is that the right word? by the way we were raised/grew up. I’m up for discussing this if anybody wants to chat about it as I’m learning more. Oh, and hormonal shifts make this whole thing worse because they have a powerful effect on how ADHD affects a person.

I think this is a huge reason why writing has been tough over the last few years and why mood meds stop working–at least potentially may explain. I’m going to be starting HRT. I’ve been taking a non-stimulant med for ADHD and it’s been crazy helpful. I’m also trying to reduce or wean off a mood medicine to see what my baseline is.

On top of that, I’ve been having TERRIBLE issues with heat intolerance. Like go outside and can’t breath. I have been struggling to do any sort of exercise and have had a couple of episodes of nearly passing out and getting what seems to be heat exhaustion but isn’t. Spending a lot of time with the doctor, can you tell?

As you might have noticed, I’m re-releasing the Path books, with new covers, some updated editing, and I’m trying to write a dictionary sort of thing for them. I will be putting them into a print version, and oh, yeah, the print versions of the Everyday Disaster books are out. I’m going to be doing print versions of the Mission: Magic books, and I’ll be reissuing the Horngate books, and maybe write a novella for that.

I wrote a story and posted on my Patreon last week. Working on a novel that I need to post on Patreon too. Lots of sexy times though. Stalled out on a romantic suspense. I should say two of them. Both are half done.

I had Covid significantly in March and that may be contributing to my whole unable to breathe thing.

Been trying to paint and doing estate stuff. So fucking tired of estate stuff. Haven’t managed to camp recently, which is a total bummer. I need to get away. Being sick has made playing disc golf hard and I’m a bit of a disc golf junky. I love to play. I’m not great at it, but I am improving. My favorite disk is a Latitude Opto Ice Diamond Disk. It’s lightweight and flies well for me.

Politics has me freaked the fuck out. It should come as no surprise that I despise Trump, I hate Project 2025, and I’m terrified if those people take power. All the rights they are taking away and trying to…and the Supreme Court is so fucking corrupt. So much depends on people doing the right thing but all kinds of people in power have decided they don’t need to and they’ll just break laws and there’s no real expectation that there will be consequences.

I’ve been doing some knitting. Making progress on a sweater. I’ve never made one before because I’m kind of terrified of trying to do a garment and make it fit. So far so good though. Some mistakes and they are obvious, but don’t care. It’s handmade. It’s mine to wear and it will be lovely. I so decree.

I haven’t been doing as much painting as I’d like. I have issues, you see. They stem from ADHD (as it turns out) and also from growing up the way I did. I feel lazy if I’m doing things that aren’t what I “should” be doing and so painting is not allowed. Same for knitting, but on top of that, there’s a perfectionism element (never thought of myself as being a perfectionist) bound up with a really strong sense of responsibility. So when it comes to the painting, it’s not perfect, it feels like it should be, I kick myself for not doing a better job, and then I call myself lazy when I want to do it, or when it’s not perfect enough because I should have done it better.

Being in my head sometimes sucks.

Saw a bumper sticker today. It said “Stay Feral). I really love it. Except the font made it look like “Stay Fecal,” which was unfortunate.  I think I’m going to have to get some stickers made up though with fun and obnoxious sayings that I can hand out.

I have got new tattoos over the last few months. One is a jackrabbit surrounded by blackberry vines. One is a recoloring of a crow I have that was fading. And one says “Comparison is the Enemy of Joy” surrounded by blackberry vines. Not sure what will come next.

Dogs are doing well. Except I think they need their teeth cleaned. I’m hesitant, though, because of the risks. Took them to a creek recently and played in the water and had a good time. I need to take them to the ocean again. I need to be near water more. I want to swim more. Not that I’m in any condition to do so (see the health shit above). Maybe kayak or paddleboard. Costco has some good ones for sale. I want to be able to take the doggies (one or two) on board, and these are inflatable, so not sure I should risk the dogs on them. I miss water though. Flat water, mostly.

All right. Better post this and get to work on some words. Or paint maybe. I finished a horse not too long ago (actually like maybe 2 months ago) that was really good. A lot of detail and a lot of work. It was my therapy when I couldn’t get my brain to function.

XOXO

Di

 

Check in Here

How’s everybody doing? What are you doing? Check in here! That horse that’s the featured image with the flowers is one I’m currently working on. Started painting the flowers last night. Why is it that what makes me feel creative and happy is also frustrating and difficult?

What’s Been Happening

I posted this on my Patreon, but I wanted to share here so you all know why I’ve been so radio silent. The picture, btw, is a horse I managed to paint sometime in November. I haven’t really managed to paint since, except as I mention in this post.

The News:

It’s been awhile.

Just before Thanksgiving, my FIL took a fall, and on November 30th he passed away. He and my husband had both a loving and contentious relationship, and my husband’s siblings are useless and totally and completely uninvolved to the point of not talking to his dad for years.

What followed was us (I’m the Trustee of his Trust) clearing out his apartment up here, trying to figure out his financial affairs and so on, and traveling to California to try to clean out his house down there.  He was a child of the Depression and tended to hoard some, plus hide money in weird spots, and he’d lived in that house for more than 60 years.

We ended up not clearing out the house. There’s just so much and it’s so hard for my husband to make decisions and we can’t travel down there as often as it will need to get rid of things and also get it sold. I’ve had a notification that the house will lose insurance April 1st, so I have to figure that out or preferably sell it before.

We met with an estate sales agent and arranged to have an estate sale in February, which should let us take out anything necessary before. We also found out his house taxes had not been paid (they were due just after he died) so we took care of those.

One of the hard things is that he was a paper hoarder. He hadn’t gotten rid of so much paper and I have to go through it all and see what’s important or not. I’m not even sure I’ve located all his bank accounts. I have to check with one to see if it’s still active, and I think that he might have a live insurance policy with another place. He had a bunch of little policies that I’m slowly tracking down.

During this time, my mom had a recurrence of skin cancer on her nose and they had to do Mohs surgery again. It was rough and the resulting removal took hours and left a really nasty wound. She had to have a graft done, and she’s still recovering. I hope that the graft took, but it’s a case of looking a lot worse before you know. The top layer of skin of the graft is likely to die and turn black, basically. Which it is.

She’s also had repeated colds. I got her vaccinated against flu and Covid, but she doesn’t mask. I don’t mask near enough. I forget even though I carry them on me.

Writing has been really up and down. I have so much I need to do and yet I haven’t, plus I have things I need and want to send out to many or all of you.

Christmas and Thanksgiving went as well as could be expected, and we had a number of people gather including friends of my son’s, plus some of his fiance’s family. I like having people in so that was nice, but I haven’t had time to even think about taking down what decorations I managed to get up. I put them up the weekend after Thanksgiving before we realized that my FIL wasn’t going to improve.

His death was frankly odd and a blessing for him. Let me explain. He was in semi-poor health. He had type 2 diabetes for many years, and had developed cirrhosis, kidney issues, had had prostate cancer, and was on oxygen. He also had AFIB. When he fell, they figured they were going to manage the pain and send him home. But two days later, he was in worse pain. They’d done a variety of tests already, but decided to run more intensive tests and discovered he’d broken a T vertebra. It was cracked horizontally.

They didn’t feel he’d do well with a surgery and decided to try a back brace. They got it on him, and wanted to Xray him to see if that had stabilized him, but, and this is where things started going downhill, he was losing coherence. They pulled back on the pain meds, but it didn’t help. He was still having a hard time waking up and focusing.

It took several days, but they got the Xray and learned that the break had worsened and he had bleeding in the area. In order to fix it, he’d have to have a minimum of a four hour surgery and they did not feel he’d survive. His breathing had turned very labored. We had to decide if we wanted to push forward or go with comfort measures and we went with comfort. He was 88 and even if the surgery worked, he’d be in a lot of pain and there was no guarantee he’d be able to walk or use a bathroom. He’d hate that. Plus they still didn’t know why he wasn’t waking up at this point. He was essentially in a coma.

He died less than 24 hours after we started the comfort measures. I felt he was in a lot of pain from the way he was moving in bed. We weren’t with him. We were on our way to see him, actually. I’m not sure if that was better or not for my husband, but he’d had a chance to tell his father he loved him when his dad was coherent.

Oh, the paint pictures. I have been feeling overwhelmed and completely out of pocket. Just can’t seem to do all the things that need doing. I have been playing a little disc golf to try to destress. Our son got us playing a few months ago and it does help me relax some. I haven’t been sleeping very well. Anyhow, I also haven’t been painting. So last night I decided to paint three horses black so I could try out these chameleon paints that basically need a black canvas for the colors to really pop.

This morning, I got out my first bottle of the chameleon color and shook it up real good. I decided to squeeze out a few drops to see what it looked like before loading it into my airbrush and apparently there was some sort of clog. The whole top popped off and I got paint on my clothes, my arms and hands, my desk, the floor, my face, a couple of the horses…. Yeah. Relaxing, right? LOL

So now I need to try to write more. And I want to do some Zoom meetups here. This week we meet with an attorney to talk about the trust and what I need to do to properly take care of things. I also have to go to Portland to pick up a couch for my son and my husband and I and son’s fiance have to move it in to their apartment and put it together. Why won’t my son help? Because apparently the stomach pain he’s been having is a hernia. He goes in tomorrow to see if they are going to operate and when.

I am sorry I haven’t been here. I miss you guys and I will get back to it. I love the idea of the Uncanny Valley. I so want to play in that valley. LOL.

XOXO

Di

Mafia Romance That I Just Read

First of all, the featured picture is one I took while in traffic last week. There are two couples driving motorcycles with side cars. The woman behind’s sidecar contains a dog with goggles for his eyes and ears. He was so ADORABLE. The picture isn’t great, but hopefully you can see.

Hunger Pains, my short story, is up for preorder and will be available on October 30th. It should be up on all your favorite sites, except Google Play. I need to work on that. It’s a tasty bite and hopefully you’ll all enjoy. There will be another novella (not set in any of my worlds) coming up after that!

In positive news, I have obtained the rights back to my Horngate Witches books. That means I can republish and I’ll be able to write more in the world! I’m not sure when, but it will come next year I think. I also have the rights back to my Path Novels, and they are definitely coming next year.

Okay, so let me talk about this Mafia book. I have been hesitant to read  a mafia romance. I have a hard time figuring out how to like characters involved in illegal activities that often hurt innocent people, and who are often violent for selfish or ignoble reasons. I decided to read this one because it was free and the premise was interesting.

Basically the set up was that this young woman has been silent for six months after her father murdered her mother and she’s terrified of her mafia father who will certainly kill her if she reveals what she knows, and only her silence has been keeping her reasonably safe so far. Only now she’s being offered up as a bride in a mafia merger marriage. Of sorts. She’s got a younger brother who her father is also threatening if she misbehaves. The bridegroom chooses her to marry because she’s mute and therefore won’t bother him and annoy him. Clearly he was not the reason I wanted to read. I was more interested in the premise of the father and his threats and how the daughter was going to expose him. I figured the romance would play out okay.

If I had to evaluate this book, I’d put it at around a 2 or 3, and that’s mostly because this book hit on my pet peeves. The Groom is kind of a dick. Now for certain, he’s mafia, so that’s supposed to mean ruthless and in control and Mister Domination and supercilious and all that sort of thing. Of course he’s magnetic and gorgeous and all the women love him. What makes him a dick is he’s sure hwe’s in charge and that he knos better and he pushes her to do something that endangers her, and then he’s irritated with himself. But it’s like it totally overlooked the whole ruthless mafia thing. He treats her like she’s an object and a possession, and he infantilizes her.

Meanwhile, she’s overall a really good character. She’s strong, but I hate that she has to apologize because he doesn’t like something or he tells her to do something or not to and she’s just supposed to obey him and when he’s an asshole, she’s the one who has to suck up. This is my pet peeve territory.

I have to wonder if it was because of the heavy reliance on the mafia tropes. And it was sort of tropish/cliche as far as that goes. The Italians, the Irish, the Albanians, and so on.

I’m kind of doubting I’ll read another mafia story soon. I just don’t like the way that women are treated like objects and wthout agency and the hard–to-breathe-through patriarchy. It’s just too vomitous for words. I’m not sure that’s a word, but today it is.