Diana Pharaoh Francis's Blog, page 5

Read Along Part 1

Be aware that there will be spoilers as I read through this book.

I started The Stranger Times a couple of days ago. My right-before-bed reading. I find that I’m reading it like a reader, and then as I think about it, I’m thinking as a writer. (BTW, I wrote righter first and feel compelled to reveal that as it’s so horrifying). Anyhow, I jumped in and so far, am really enjoying it. Not that I’ve read far, really.

We start with a prologue. It involves two nameless men and a supernatural event, warning us that there will be supernatural elements in the novel. The prologue raises a lot of questions that clearly will not be answered right away, but definitely make me want to know what’s going on.

Next we shift gears and meet Hannah. I kind of loved that she went to interview at a furniture store and that her resume was so very weak. There’s a dry wit to the writing that I enjoy. I laughed out lout when the homeless guy walks up to the trash can she vomited into, looks inside, and says, “there’s some bloody monsters around here.” There’s a double meaning to that I expect where there really are monsters out there, something I think of when the two goons confront the group after the bar and Reggie pulls knives from nowhere and threatens them.

Speaking of Reggie, the introduction to him and Ox and Grace were priceless. Ox warns her away so she doesn’t get splattered and Reggie asks her to move because she’s interfering with his suicide. A regularly schedule Monday event. Hannah doesn’t quite know what to make of them, but ends up going inside after meeting Simon,  where she meets Stella and Grace and then the Big Boss himself, Mister Banecroft whose office is a foul, stinking mess, who smokes, drinks, swears, and oh yes, has an actual blunderbuss. Of course he manages to shoot himself with said blunderbuss, but yanno, Chekhov did say if there was a gun in the scene, it needs to be shot at some point.

What we quickly want to know is a) who is Tina, b) why did she leave, c) what exactly does the job entail (we get that at the bar), and why does it specifically say Simon need not apply?

I had a good time with these first chapters. I think the dialog was quick and fun, and I loved the interview with Banecroft  asking about the nanny or the personal trainer. Everything was so not polite or correct and it was blunt and without any sort of embarrassment. Ox and Reggie are hilarious together, and Stella is one sharp cookie. The thing is, nobody feels stereotypical and while certainly there have been books and movies where the weird and strange stories in the supermarket tabloids turn out to be true, there’s a freshness to this one. The focus seems to be less on the stories being true, than on this motley group of people.

The understated dry humor seriously appeals. Like when Hannah says, “You were explaining how you’ve been emasculated by your own office manager.” Banecroft doesn’t argue. And then she points out the office is on fire.

And then we get introduced to Moretti. He is a bad guy, but also seems like a kind of a good guy. If that makes sense. I mean, how can you not like a guy who hypnotizes the slickly slimy real estate guy so that he will punch himself in the nuts every time he says “space.” In private, no less. Which kills me. Wonder how long it takes Jace to stop saying space.

When Hannah is standing there while Banecroft is getting treated by the paramedics, her inner dialog is hilarious. Again, that understated humor. And despite the bloodshed and appalling boss, she got the job. Because nobody else wants it, for sure, but still, she got it. Gotta find the silver lining, right?

My takeaway from these first five chapters is that 1) I really like this oddball little group and am looking forward to the shenanigans, and 2) whatever terrible thing that will happen will be unexpected and I shall no doubt find the whole thing funny. I love how quirky each character is and how individual.

Do you think Moretti is a bad guy? What do you think he’s up to? I kind of like him, I have to say.

Will Banecroft give everyone in the hospital a new and unusual disease since he’s so filthy and foul and the only way to sanitize him would be to soak him in bleach and then toss him into an autoclave?

Will Hannah be the new Tina and what will she have to do to be Tina? And where did Tina go?

Is anybody in this little scooby crew of supernatural origins? A secret werewolf? A vampire? A troll?

What were the two in the prologue were up to?

What other supernatural hijinks will ensue?

Check in if you think you want to do a read-along

As I mentioned in my newsletter, let me know if you feel like doing a read-along. This is the book I plan to read. I love getting to chat books, so this would be really fun. I need all the fun I can get these days.

 

Catching Up With Everyone

I haven’t had much to say for awhile, mostly because I’ve been crazy busy. As you know, my dad died in January and so I’ve been helping my mom a lot. She moved into assisted care to be with Dad, but then he died the day after she got there, and her memory has been really bad. I’m thinking it has everything to do with all the stress of his illness, death, moving out of her house, being in a place she doesn’t like, and some other complications. The day my dad died, we learned her dog is dying, which is going to be really awful. So we’ve moved her up here to a retirement community and that’s been rough for her. It’s what she wanted, and we’re spending a lot of time with her—which has been super nice for me and my family—and I’m hoping she’s going to settle in.

There’s been a lot of work with all of her bills and etc, and taxes for us and also for her, plus a ton of other stuff. It’s freaking me out a little because I am not all that sure I’m capable of all this, that I’m not overlooking something, that I’m not doing it right…. So I’ve also been a little anxious.

I did finish Putting the Chic in Psychic, which will be coming out in July in the  Dirty Deeds 2, which you can preorder if you’re in the mood. It’s a fun story (if you ask me) that involves Beck and the girls and a ghost, a psychic, and some annoying men. I’m calling it Everyday Disasters 1.5. I’m working on an outline for the next one, but there’s so much I can do that it’s hard to choose! I’m contemplating calling it Putting the Anger in Danger or Putting the Harm in Harmony. Maybe Putting the Rude in Prude. I’m just not sure. I made a list of all the things it would be fun to right about, and it was so long, it wasn’t helpful. Ha!

I’ve also been painting a few horses this last week. I haven’t had a lot of time since January. I also went to my annual writing retreat on Lake Quinault. I wrote 30K words in 5 days, which is crazy for me.

I’ve always wanted to work on a romantic suspense of a non-magical/paranormal variety. I’ve actually been working on one for awhile as a little fun side-project. It’s making progress, though it may end up being more romance than suspenseful, which isn’t where I was going. Oh well. It’ll be what it’s mean to be.

So about my mom’s dog. He’s the litter mate of my two boys—Voodoo and Viggo—who died of cancer a little while ago. Both of their cancers were inside. We had no idea until we took them to the vet and learned that they weren’t going to make it. I started hating taking my dogs to the vet, I can tell you. I’m starting to cry right now. It just never stops hurting, does it? Anyhow, Gus’ cancer has shown up as a large tumor on the side of his leg. It’s grown a lot larger and there’s no way to treat it. What we don’t know is how long before we need to put him to sleep. He’s twelve and a half. So when he stands up and limps a little, I don’t know if it’s age or not. He seems to stop limping, but does have trouble jumping into the car or going up stairs. We got him a small set of stairs that helps him go in and out of the car.

He seems happy and energetic sometimes, and then sometimes he seems to go sleep in a corner in a way that makes me wonder if it’s like when my dog Sierra had cancer and sort of withdrew. I also don’t know if he is in pain otherwise. So I’m in a serious dilemma. I don’t want him to suffer, and yet I don’t want my mom to lose him before his time. I don’t want him to lose her. He’s so attached to her. And I know that last doesn’t really make sense, but I can’t help thinking it.

I wish I knew how to make the decision.

 

Sadness

My father passed away on 1/25/22. He was 92. He’d had pneumonia, which had caused heart issues too, and his body just couldn’t overcome it. My brother, my mother, and I were present, which was not supposed to be since I was scheduled to come down next week and decided I’d come down Sunday. I had the opportunity on Monday to spend some time with him and kiss him and talk to him a little. He was disoriented, but he knew mom and he told her loved her. He was talking to God and he was praying a lot and he was seeing something we couldn’t. That was clear.

I’m both heartbroken and yet relieved for him to have escaped a body that didn’t want to work. He would not have liked to have been trapped there, being fed, using a catheter, and so on. It was time. Past time, by some measures. In his fifties, he narrowly avoided a massive heart attack and had a six-way heart bypass. I know, but it is, in fact, possible to do a six way. Ten years ago, he became almost paralyzed and we were able to gt him to see my amazing back doctor and he performed a five-disk fusion in Dad’s neck, giving my father the opportunity to use his arms and legs and to continue to enjoy life.

I am grateful for all the time we had. I am struggling, because I am staying in my parents’ house alone for the time being. Mom is staying in assisted care and I’m working on getting stuff in the house sorted and making other arrangements, as she really needs to stay there, at least for awhile. We’ll see if her memory recovers enough to be on her own, but I very much doubt it. I find myself overwhelmed with sadness, which is to be expected, and I’m a little lonely. But my mom needs to settle into her place and I can’t be over there all the time keeping her from socializing.

Here’s the really awful part. Her dog, who is the littermate of the two corgi-boys I had, has cancer. In fact, I noticed the growth the same day Dad died and we took him to the vet and found out there’s nothing really to be done. He won’t last long. While the growth is on the leg, I’m sure it’s also inside. He’s acting chipper and like he’s fine, but I know how fast that can change. I saw it with my boys. Mom relies on that dog so much. I rely on mine in the same way. She’s going to be devastated to lose both Dad and Gus, and also her home all at once. I can’t fix it. I can’t make it better. And I feel so bizarrely guilty because for my two boys, each time I took them to the vet and discovered they had cancer, I left without them. I’m half afraid to take any dog to the vet. It happened also with another dog we had before. I feel like I’m Typhoid Mary. Cancer Di. And I noticed the growth and because of me we know about the cancer and I just feel so much to blame right now. I don’t know what to do with those feelings.

Today we had to go make the cremation arrangements. And I had to work on cleaning things and taking care of financial things. I want to talk more about my dad and I will, but right now, I’m just needing to get this out. My husband and daughter will be here next week, and my brother has been incredible. He’s taken on a lot, and was shouldering the heavy weight of helping Mom and Dad while Dad was in the hospital. But he can’t be here holding my hand. He’s got a business to run and has been put behind by all these events.

Music doesn’t help. Usually I can depend on it to lift me up, but right now it just isn’t. It’s making things hurt more. I don’t understand why. I’ve been keeping Mom from coming back to the house. I don’t think she should be here. It feels broken here right now.

Many of you on FB have passed along condolences and kind words and I cannot tell you how much that means to me. It feels like I have a lot of support out there in the world and I am so grateful. Thank you.

January 22 Newsletter text

 

Hi Everyone. I sent my newsletter out and for some reason known only to the computer gremlins, it only sent to a very few people. I am copying and pasting in the main text of it here, and hopefully the gremlins will be subdued or placated or perhaps just put into a food coma and I’ll be able to actually send this out soon. The fungus image is a picture I took the other day.

Happy 2022 my friends.

I’ve not been sending you things of late, for which I apologize. The holidays happened, my son got Covid, but luckily it was a mild case, various other things, but of most import is the fact that my aging parents have reached the point where they need help.

My parents grew up in the depression and later became cattle ranchers. They have always been fiercely independent, proud, and private. Unfortunately, this has led to a situation where my mother did not want to admit how difficult caring for my father has been, and how much his health has been declining. I live a state away and so I don’t see them as regularly as I would wish.

A couple weeks ago, dad ended up in the hospital, where he is still today. He’ll be going into hospice because while he’s getting better physically, mentally he is not. The good news is that my mother and he will be able to live together in an apartment at an assisted care place and hospice will come in there. The other good news is they have long term care insurance.

What it means to me is two different things. First, I know I’m losing my dad soon. Whether he passes or whether his mind goes, it’s inevitable and I’m trying very hard to come to terms with it. I know it’s life. I know he would not want to continue this way. I am having a hard time reconciling the dad I always remember and have in my heart—hale and hearty and bigger than life—and the man who he is now. They are the same, and yet they are not.

The other thing it means is that I’ll be taking over for my parents on a lot of fronts. I want them to worry about as little as possible. I am just hoping nothing falls through the cracks.

In other news, Scatter of Light is getting closer to publication. I’m not sure when it will be out, but finally you’ll know what happened after Gregg jumped and Cass was shot. It’s a big fat book and I hope you love it. I’ll update you more as I know things, but I expect it’ll be out in a couple of months probably.

I’m also working on Putting the Chic in Psychic. It’s the second Everyday Disasters book and will be published in another Dirty Deeds anthology, this time including me, Faith Hunter, Devon Monk, R.J. Blain, and Jennifer Estep. You can preorder at your favorite online bookstore. Here’s a link to Amazon.

I’ve also been painting and sculpting plastic horses, which has been a real blessing, mostly because it’s a little bit like meditating and it helps me cope.

BOOKS BY FRIENDS The Indigo SolutionThe Indigo Solution is the first book in a series by Patricia Rice. Because she is a kind soul, she gave me an early copy and I devoured it. It’s quirky, light, fun, sweet, and has a hint of romance. I couldn’t wait to recommend it to you. Do yourself a favor and preorder. You will totally not regret it.Click Here Good NeighborsStephanie Burgis also kindly allowed me to read an early copy of her new book and it’s so wonderful. Like The Indigo Solution, it’s quirky and spooky and has some romance and unusual magic and it’s so fun. With all the stuff going on with my folks, these two books were just good for my soul. Now get the hence and preorder both. You won’t regret it.Click HerePATREONIf you think you might be interested in supporting me via Patreon, you can find me here. I’ve recently been posting juicy deleted scenes from Shatter of Light. 

Poor Poor Pitiful Puppy

I wanted to share with you these pictures of Crowley who is dying of thirst. DYING OF THIRST. Seriously. He’s about to just dry up and blow away.

 

Worse Than Anticipated

You know that book I was reading? Romantic suspense? And I wanted to keep reading even though I had fears about where it was going? It was so much worse than anticipated.

I really don’t want to be mean to another author, but unfortunately you may be able to guess the book and that’s not my purpose. My purpose is I need to rant about this and so I’m going to.

So when I left off, our heroine had gone back to her baby-daddy’s apartment and instantly totally forgave his parents for calling her a gold-digger, a whore, and so on. Now, the other wrinkle is that her father is her boyfriend’s boss, and if he learned of this, it would cause serious friction. But of course he doesn’t. Because that would be conflict and can’t have that.

Now she gets a case of…mono. Yep. Mono. I think this was so a lot of time could pass without much happening. So in this sleepy time, the boyfriend’s parents and sister came and took care of her and just ADORED her. Of course. This is wonderful because heroine’s own mother is is quite a piece work. She’s always been abusive and cruel and is barely in the heroine’s life. She had custody most of the time because dad was in the military and deployed a lot without her. So he couldn’t protect precious daughter from mother’s abuse, and then when he was back, the mother threatened all sorts of things if she didn’t get custody and he gave in.  Which has all kinds of problems warting all over the hell, but okay. When the mother found out heroine was pregnant, her first response was: get an abortion. Kid’s suck. You ruined my life. Don’t let it happen to you.

So heroine has a stalker. He’s attacked her outside her apartment and sent notes and various other things, which is why she’s living at the boyfriend’s house. He’s slippery so they can’t find him. One day, boyfriend’s mom takes her to a spa day and heroine is kidnapped. She wakes up in a remote cabin where she’s chained up while her mother and her boyfriend are inducing labor so they can take her baby and give it up for adoption. Because that makes sense. Why wouldn’t they? Apparently her mom is fixated for reasons? on the pregnancy. There are no good or really any motivations.

But wait! It gets better! Heroine goes into labor, but manages to escape the cabin and runs into the woods. Mom’s boyfriend overtakes her and starts to attack her. Suddenly her boyfriend is there along with friends and save her. She gives birth to the baby in the woods. Mother taken into custody.

So that’s bad, but then it really goes to What The Fuck Town. While in the hospital, she decides to name the kid after boyfriend’s mother and grandmother. Skip forward to the epilog or last chapter, who really knows, and she’s at the jail to see her mom because her mom wants to see her and supposedly heroine’s therapist says it’s a good idea. But first, she decides to say she wants to marry him and he happens to have the ring in his pocket and puts in her finger, as you do when you’re outside a prison about to go visit your psychotic mother. But sure, you gotta do what you gotta do, right?

Onto the meeting with the mom. Total dud. No fireworks. Mostly a why would you do this to me? and then, because I wanted you to have a better life than I had being your mother. It was awful, but hey, would you send me pictures of your kid? The one I kidnapped you for and then forced you to go into labor so that I could steal the kid? Send me her pictures because yanno, I’m her grandma.

You’d think the response would be a hard no. A hard fuck off and die. But no. Heroine says I’ll think about it. And when she goes outside she tells boyfriend that she probably will.

Because all that makes total sense. In What The Fuck Town, anyhow. The author seemed to want the heroine to be perceived as pretty much angelic and wonderful and forgiving of everything and everyone.

I should have stopped reading. Why did I put myself through that?

Annoying Tropes

I did a thing recently where I wrote down a list of tropes that I like to read in books, and started a list of those I don’t. The second list right now isn’t very long, probably because I had revision brain. Anyhow, among the tropes I don’t like is the love triangle and the secret baby. I tend to avoid reading books with these.

By the way, the reason I made these lists was to make sure the tropes I put in my books were those I liked and had fun with. I tend to put them in subconsciously, but I wanted to be a little more deliberate.

Okay, back to the annoyance. I’m reading this romantic suspense. It’s annoying me, and yet I’m continuing to read, largely because I want to see if certain trainwrecks are avoided. The book started out with a take on the secret baby. I know, why was I even reading it? But the secret hadn’t been deliberately kept. It was a one night stand and she gets prego and doesn’t know where to find him. Jump to the beginning of the novel. The guy has come to work for her father’s security company and boom! He figures out he’s the father, not that she’s trying to hide it from him. (There is an age gap of about 15 years between them, and I find that a little bit annoying too, but that’s a post for another day).

So it starts out with them trying to navigate how to get to know each other and figure out how to deal with becoming coparents. Of course you know they’ll fall in love. Now I have other issues with the book and the development of the plot, but I want to focus on this one scene. The two are living in the same apartment because she’s developed a stalker and so they’ve moved in together (somewhat platonically, though I can’t remember if they’re having sex by this time). Anyhow, the parents show and are shocked by her age and decide to treat her like she’s a gold digger or tricking him into thinking the kid is his, or you name it.

She overhears much of that conversation and she packs up and leaves. Of course he follows and apologizes and after a day of him bringing her food and flowers, she relents. Now here’s where I have issues. He’s taking her home and casually says his parents are waiting and will be apologizing, which they do. Everybody goes out to dinner, and that’s it. Angst is over. She decides not to be angry or resentful or anything else.

It’s too fucking easy. Who—especially a pregnant hormonal woman—would get over it that quickly. I mean these people judged her and her age, and didn’t give her a chance, and that’s all it takes for her to get over it? No lingering doubts? Or friction?

It bugs the hell out of me. It’s like the writer is trying very hard to avoid any real conflict. That’s one reason I’m still reading, but I have a huge fear of where this will end up. Which I will report on later. It will be a rant if what I’m afraid will happen happens.

Watch this space.

Advice to Writers

The featured image is just one of the little promo ads I made. I’ve been enjoying playing with the app and getting some promo out of it.

This is my last week of teaching for a little while. I love teaching, but I’ve been going at it non stop for almost 4 years now. And by that I mean that I had no breaks except for a week at Christmas and four days at the end of each term. For this particular job, I end my term on a Wednesday, and begin again on the Sunday. I’m feeling a little burned out and really want to get focused on my own writing. I have to finish the grading by Wednesday, but then I’ll have some time.

This was my last thing that I posted for this term and I thought I’d share it here. I promise I will be answering recent comments very soon. I’m just trying to get done with the grading on time.

I love Baz Luhrmann’s Wear Sunscreen. If you haven’t heard it, go listen.

So here I am. If I could tell you one thing….

Enjoy the ride. Enjoy the writing. Remember you love it and if you don’t, don’t do it.Save versions of your drafts and revisions as you progress so you can go back and recover if you screw up.Protect the work. Don’t waste time, and take care of yourself.Don’t read reviews.Don’t respond to reviewers if you read the reviews.Not everybody will like your work. Write for your readers.It doesn’t matter how or where or when you write, as long as you doSometimes writing will frustrate the hell out of you and you’ll want to delete it all, or burn it.Your work is never as bad as you think it is.Don’t compare yourself to other writers.Celebrate the wins.HydrateRemember you can’t wait for life to stop being hard before you get to living it. You can’t wait until you’re ready to write something, or have the time, or anything else. Just write.Don’t obsess.Finish your work, revise it, move on. Start something new.Don’t equate a rejection of your work as a commentary on your abilities or talents.Keep writing.Believe in yourself.Nobody cares about your career as much as you do.Writing is not a zero sum game; other people’s success doesn’t take away from yours. Your success doesn’t take away from anybody else’s.Make a point of writing what you enjoy and what entertains you.  Life’s too short to spend the time doing something you hate.Don’t try to fit into someone else’s writing box. Every writer’s journey is different. Find what works you for you and do it. Then do it again. And then again. And again.

Learning to Needle Felt

I decided I wanted to learn to needle felt. I order some supplies and watched a video on how to make a ball and jumped in. I didn’t bother with a pattern, but the kit came with instructions that I was a little bit too impatient to read and skimmed a bit and decided to just jump in. I think I did all right, but I definitely want to look into how to do a few things better. Paws are one thing. And shaping smaller stuff like facial features. But I thought I’d share the result. It’s kind of cute, right?