Jay Royston's Blog, page 9

Brexit - Democracy at work. Sorry about that.

Apparently something happened last week in Britain that shook the foundations of mass media and the stock exchange. Pundits are still recovering and trying to figure out if we are facing a business Apocalypse and what this means for Donald Trump's Presidential bid.

They held a referendum on their participation in the European Union, a conglomeration of countries that provide business incentives for companies to do business between countries among other things. The Leave Campaign wasn't considered a serious option, much like the Quebec referendum wasn't considered a real possibility until the final days when polls kept citing it as being too close to call (it ended in a 51-49% split on Quebec staying in Canada. Next thing you know, The Quebec Nordiques left for Colorado where they became the last Canadian team to win the Stanley Cup).


To quote the Clash, the question was... Should They Stay or Should They Go?



In a huge surprise to every business journalist/analyst, the majority of those who voted, voted out. The referendum was considered a small formality, a polite middle finger to the polite social anarchists that wanted Great Britain to pay attention to their own backyard. The business elite felt safe in their glass towers but they failed to account for one thing. - Democracy. The New World Order, the economic Global Village of trading partners and corporations failed to account for one major weakness in their profit margins; too many people were growing up poor in a world that was promised to be better. The promises of jobs, material wealth and safety never materialized as the Top-Down economics of the 80's made for business models that were ultimately responsible only to faceless 'shareholders' and no one else. The bottom line was always profit.


The blow-back was immediate. Stock markets crashed, Gold prices went up. Banking analysts were called into work early to provide sound bites and explain how and why this is a big deal. Great Britain was going to be downgraded to only Okay Britain. The Queen barely survived her 90th birthday extravaganza and was put back in storage before the news hit so at least they still have the Royal Family remaining Britain's number one tourist attraction going for them.

Now, the scariest thing for me to come out of this is that mass media is openly discussing the possibility of re-referendum - citing that 'the people' weren't properly informed of the consequences of opting out of the European Union. Even scarier than the idea of a re-referendum is this article from one of the United State's leading newspapers, The Washington Post.

The title of this article (for those of us who don't like to read article with words like ubiquitous in them) is ;
Does the Brexit vote prove democracies should not use referenda? 
First, this headline is unnecessarily confusing. Most likely your first answer was Yes. Then if you re-read the question, you see the 'not' added in there - so maybe your answer is now No but to say 'No, democracies should not use referenda' sounds odd, like Donald Trump, President for Life.

Considering the context and the source, I should add that this is only one opinion in a puddle of opinions of a major newspaper but the consequences of such a thought, if it were to take hold are widespread. A referendum is the the ultimate validation of a democracy. One person, one vote. Winners take all. If the result goes against what the government championed for, should the leader resign? In the case of British PM, David Cameron, the answer was Yes.

The real question posed by that headline is more like' Seeing as Brexit had a direct consequence on the world's trade markets, not only Great Britain's, should a vote on major economic reform be left to the elderly and the angry? Why should they be allowed to vote if they don't even understand what that little ticker on the bottom of the TV is showing?".

Yes, it's a long headline...

Totally makes sense to my Gramma
Now, in a world that wasn't dominated by faceless 'shareholders' the answer is simple. NO. Democracies SHOULD continue to use Refernda. We should have more of them, from a referendum on capping gasoline prices to allowing another Wal-Mart open in the country.

Brexit proved why we have referendums; a democracy is all-inclusive. This wasn't a vote only for business majors, corporate shareholders or bank managers. This was a vote in which everyone could vote. And the majority of those who voted felt that being in the European Union isn't helping them. It was the responsibility of those large companies to prove their participation in the EU had improved their way of life. And for those who didn't vote and are crying for another referendum, that's sour grapes and a lesson for our American neighbours. You are only going to get one chance to elect or defeat Trump or Hillary. Make your choice and live with the consequences. If you don't vote, don't bitch your side didn't win. There will be plenty of conspiracy theorists out there explaining how the voting was rigged. Whoever gets caught cheating less wins.

What those at the top in Great Britain failed to acknowledge is that just because everyone has a cell phone doesn't equate that everyone feels they have a better life. There's still no rocket cars or tickets to Mars. The problems most of society face today are just as bad as two decades ago or worse. That is what their vote is saying. And apparently it's not the youth vote who wanted out. It's the older ones. The ones who might remember a different Britain, a Greater Britain than what it is now. A Britain they want returned to them. They are saying the Global Village experiment didn't work.

There is nothing wrong with feeling nationalistic or patriotic for your country unless it causes fear mongering and racial prejudices. We are encouraged to Buy Local, to take Staycations. In short, we are encouraged to keep the limited amount of money we have in our area, province, country. We are continually told the future is in Small Business but large corporations like Wal-Mart, Religious sects, and Big Banks receive incentives and tax breaks to bring their promise of low-quality goods and low-paying jobs to impoverished areas because any job is better than no job, despite so many reports and debates proving the opposite.

The Brexit sent a clear message to the leaders of every country that when you continually put business profits over people's basic needs, people will revolt. Either peacefully, such as through a referendum or violently, through armed aggression. It's an interesting time to be alive.

And no, Great Britain, you should not be allowed to have 'Do Over'.

Brexit. Another hint of 1984 in the making?

Apparently something happened last week in Britain that shook the foundations of mass media and the stock exchange. Pundits are still recovering and trying to figure out if we are facing a business Apocalypse and what this means for Donald Trump's Presidential bid.

They held a referendum on their participation in the European Union, a conglomeration of countries that provide business incentives for companies to do business between countries among other things. The Leave Campaign wasn't considered a serious option, much like the Quebec referendum wasn't considered a real possibility until the final days when polls kept citing it as being too close to call (it ended in a 51-49% split on Quebec staying in Canada. Next thing you know, The Quebec Nordiques left for Colorado where they became the last Canadian team to win the Stanley Cup).


To quote the Clash, the question was... Should They Stay or Should They Go?



In a huge surprise to every business journalist/analyst, the majority of those who voted, voted out. The referendum was considered a small formality, a polite middle finger to the polite social anarchists that wanted Great Britain to pay attention to their own backyard. The business elite felt safe in their glass towers but they failed to account for one thing. - Democracy. The New World Order, the economic Global Village of trading partners and corporations failed to account for one major weakness in their profit margins; too many people were growing up poor in a world that was promised to be better. The promises of jobs, material wealth and safety never materialized as the Top-Down economics of the 80's made for business models that were ultimately responsible only to faceless 'shareholders' and no one else. The bottom line was always profit.


The blow-back was immediate. Stock markets crashed, Gold prices went up. Banking analysts were called into work early to provide sound bites and explain how and why this is a big deal. Great Britain was going to be downgraded to only Okay Britain. The Queen barely survived her 90th birthday extravaganza and was put back in storage before the news hit so at least they still have the Royal Family remaining Britain's number one tourist attraction going for them.

Now, the scariest thing for me to come out of this is that mass media is openly discussing the possibility of re-referendum - citing that 'the people' weren't properly informed of the consequences of opting out of the European Union. Even scarier than the idea of a re-referendum is this article from one of the United State's leading newspapers, The Washington Post.

The title of this article (for those of us who don't like to read article with words like ubiquitous in them) is ;
Does the Brexit vote prove democracies should not use referenda? 
First, this headline is unnecessarily confusing. Most likely your first answer was Yes. Then if you re-read the question, you see the 'not' added in there - so maybe your answer is now No but to say 'No, democracies should not use referenda' sounds odd, like Donald Trump, President for Life.

Considering the context and the source, I should add that this is only one opinion in a puddle of opinions of a major newspaper but the consequences of such a thought, if it were to take hold are widespread. A referendum is the the ultimate validation of a democracy. One person, one vote. Winners take all. If the result goes against what the government championed for, should the leader resign? In the case of British PM, David Cameron, the answer was Yes.

The real question posed by that headline is more like' Seeing as Brexit had a direct consequence on the world's trade markets, not only Great Britain's, should a vote on major economic reform be left to the elderly and the angry? Why should they be allowed to vote if they don't even understand what that little ticker on the bottom of the TV is showing?".

Yes, it's a long headline...

Totally makes sense to my Gramma
Now, in a world that wasn't dominated by faceless 'shareholders' the answer is simple. NO. Democracies SHOULD continue to use Refernda. We should have more of them, from a referendum on capping gasoline prices to allowing another Wal-Mart open in the country.

Brexit proved why we have referendums; a democracy is all-inclusive. This wasn't a vote only for business majors, corporate shareholders or bank managers. This was a vote in which everyone could vote. And the majority of those who voted felt that being in the European Union isn't helping them. It was the responsibility of those large companies to prove their participation in the EU had improved their way of life. And for those who didn't vote and are crying for another referendum, that's sour grapes and a lesson for our American neighbours. You are only going to get one chance to elect or defeat Trump or Hillary. Make your choice and live with the consequences. If you don't vote, don't bitch your side didn't win. There will be plenty of conspiracy theorists out there explaining how the voting was rigged. Whoever gets caught cheating less wins.

What those at the top in Great Britain failed to acknowledge is that just because everyone has a cell phone doesn't equate that everyone feels they have a better life. There's still no rocket cars or tickets to Mars. The problems most of society face today are just as bad as two decades ago or worse. That is what their vote is saying. And apparently it's not the youth vote who wanted out. It's the older ones. The ones who might remember a different Britain, a Greater Britain than what it is now. A Britain they want returned to them. They are saying the Global Village experiment didn't work.

There is nothing wrong with feeling nationalistic or patriotic for your country unless it causes fear mongering and racial prejudices. We are encouraged to Buy Local, to take Staycations. In short, we are encouraged to keep the limited amount of money we have in our area, province, country. We are continually told the future is in Small Business but large corporations like Wal-Mart, Religious sects, and Big Banks receive incentives and tax breaks to bring their promise of low-quality goods and low-paying jobs to impoverished areas because any job is better than no job, despite so many reports and debates proving the opposite.

The Brexit sent a clear message to the leaders of every country that when you continually put business profits over people's basic needs, people will revolt. Either peacefully, such as through a referendum or violently, through armed aggression. It's an interesting time to be alive.

And no, Great Britain, you should not be allowed to have 'Do Over'.

The NHL Free Agent Frenzy Winners and Losers

Crib Notes from Day One of the 2016 Free Agent Frenzy



I might explore earlier free agent signings before July 1st on another day but let's just start with what's in the news today. Back-up goalies! Long-term contracts! Lotsa Money!

Who needs a back-up goalie? Apparently seven teams.

Captains on the Move? Hall, Backes, Ladd, Eric Staal, I appreciate Hall's 'Good Soldier' quote and I predict better things for him in New Jersey, like winning.

Who needs a long-term contract? 8 players apparently want that stability of the long-term deal, no matter which team it is.

Who got the best deal? - I think Dallas grabbing Dan Hamhuis for an already deep defensive corps and powerful offense is a steal. Surprised/not surprised Vancouver let the home town boy go.

Who took the biggest chance? Undoubtedly the Montreal Canadians. PK Subban gone, Price still yet to show he's game-ready then they go and pay $5 million for most likely a one and done Radulov season.

Marc Bergevin?

Carolina Hurricanes (-) They added 'Suitcase' Stempniak and Victor Stalberg. Nothing to see here, move along.

Columbus Blue Jackets (+) retained Seth Jones long term, so that's something to cheer about.

New Jersey Devils (+) The addition of Taylor Hall and Ben Lovejoy are noteworthy additions to a team that surprised a lot of people last year. Add in Smith-Peille resigning and the Devils should have a good year.

New York Islanders (-) Lost Kyle Oksposo and Matt Martin but gained an aging Andrew Ladd and Jason Chimera. Leadership counts, just not in hockey pools.
That's Gerbe on the right...New York Rangers (-) Lost Keith Yandle, gained Nathan Gerbe and Michael Grabner which combined make up one Zdeno Chara, only without the toughness.

Philadelphia Flyers (0) Dale Weise and Radko Gudas. stereotypical Flyers, no big deal.

Pittsburgh Penguins (0) Why bother? If it ain't broke...

Washington Capitals (0) Brent Connolly signed but ... no big deal.

Boston Bruins (0) David Backes was destined to be a Bruin while Louis Eriksson was not. Don't think this will change matters much in Beantown though.

Buffalo Sabres (+) Kyle Okposo helps a little. But only a little. Same problem as Edmonton. Where's the all-star D-man?

Detroit Red Wings (-) Steve Ott seems to be bouncing around a lot these last few years. He's no Pavel Datysuk. Then again, neither is Thomas Vanek.


Florida Panthers (+) James Reimer in net for the later years. That's some insurance.

Montreal Canadiens (-) So they get rid of an offensive defenseman for a solid defensive one and bring in Radulov who is an offensive talent to be on a defensive-minded team. Don't see this working out long term.

Ottawa Senators (0) Who?

Tampa Bay Lightning (+) Steve Stamkos, Victor Hedman both signed for long-term and they are laughing until next year. The new Chicago Blackhawks salary cap problems, ladies and gentlemen.

Toronto Maple Leafs (0) Matt Martin brought in to 'protect' Austin Mathews no doubt and that's all. They also brought in Anaheim's goalie who had the same numbers as Bernier so ... here's to another 'goaltending controversy' for the Shanaplan.

Chicago Blackhawks (0) no game changers, but hey, they don't need'm. Brian Campbell becomes token aging veteran as per typical Blackhawk agenda.

Colorado Avalanche (0) Nothing to see here, business as usual.

Dallas Stars (+) Dan Hamhuis is pretty underrated in my opinion. Steal of a deal for Dallas.

Minnesota Wild (+) Eric Staal for Thomas Vanek. Small bump up in heart and average age.

Nashville Predators (+) first they get PK Subban and then they sign Yannik Weber to confuse casual fans about the rumours Shea Weber was traded.

St. Louis Blues (-) lost Backes, Elliot, Brouwer and Shattenkirk is apparently still up for grabs.

Winnipeg Jets (0) Nothing to see here. Yet.

Anaheim Ducks (-) lost one of their goalies to the Leafs. Still relying on an aging corps and no Bruce Boudreau anymore. Don't expect a repeat of last year under Randy Caryle.

Phoenix Coyotes (0) Their 26 yr old GM has yet to do anything substantial. Nobody returning his calls perhaps?

Calgary Flames (+) New coach, two new ex-blues in Elliot and Brouwer and another capable back-up in Chad Johnson to compete with Kari Ramo.
Lucic and McDavid, ready to play.Edmonton Oilers (0) This is the most analyzed team the last couple of days and I am going to even-stevens this one. Although they signed Lucic to ride out the the end of his career with the Oilers, taking on the Messier to McDavid's Gretzky, he's ten years older than most of the young guns. They also traded Taylor Hall and still don't have a bona-fide #1 goalie or all-star defenseman.

Los Angeles Kings (-) I don't know what Sutter is thinking, but they have Quick, Brown, Doughty and Kopitar still. This is the type of corps Edmonton (and all teams) need.

San Jose Sharks (0) If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Vancouver Canucks (-) They lost Hamhuis, still have an aging Miller in net, and then pick up Louis Eriksson who is also nearing the end of his prime scoring days to play with the Sedins for the next six years. This would have been a great line five years ago. But today, it reeks of desperation.

Business Insider Does Cult Films; a Review

spoiler alert - there are only 3 movies from this mural on the list...
It's a sad day when I click on a link to Business Insider where they have a breakdown of box office bombs that went on to become cult movies because, you know, nothing screams out cult movies like a list in Business Insider.

Am I bitter? Maybe. Maybe just more annoyed. I used to do a few lists once or twice. Then I realized there was no reason why my list is better than say, yours or your mom's (other than my own sense of humour embedded in the list reasoning). But I read this list anyways and thought to myself; if everyone knows these are cult movies, are they still cult movies? Is Mormonism still a cult because it's a weird offshoot of another bigger religion that is followed by a certain type of people who get along great with each other but have trouble relating to the rest of the world? Doesn't that also describe people who watch cult movies?

So I went through the list and I'll give you a list of the list. These were movies that did relatively poor at the box office but found life afterwards in either DVD, VHS or TV. The definition of a cult movie by the writer is pretty all encompassing, so I'm going to score the writer's idea of a cult movie with mine.


1 - Donnie Darko
Cult status? Yes
Why? Trippy time travelling story involving kid on severe meds in a period 1980's piece.
Director mentioned? No - but it was Richard Kelly
Also known As - the director of the future cult movie Southland Tales, starring the Rock and Sarah Michelle Gellar
Interesting Fact - I heard the director was paid anywhere from $9000-$14000 to make it out of a budget of over 4.5 million. Drew Barrymore produced it and she made much, much more.

2 Heathers
Cult status? Yes
Why? Another dark comedy about high school clicks and teenagers obsessions with death, fashion, and social standing. Slater made trench coats cool and now a big red flag in school dress codes.
Director mentioned? No - Michael Lehmann
Also known As the director of one of Bruce Willis's biggest bombs; Hudson Hawk
Interesting Fact - After this movie, everyone started comparing Christian Slater as the new Jack Nicholson. Neither liked the comparison.

3 Fight Club
Cult status? 50/50.
Why? The original author (Chuck Palanuhk) is a cult figure in the literary world. Hard to say any movie starring A-List Hollywood stars would be considered 'cult'. 
Director mentioned? No, but it was David Fincher
Also known as one of the biggest name directors today. Won an Oscar for the Facebook bio-drama, Social Network among many other awards.
Interesting Fact - It's often overlooked with the bigger twists but Tyler Durden tells (Ed Norton) he is not his job while the whole movie shows that (Ed Norton) IS his job.   

4 Dazed and Confused
Cult status? Not really 
Why? D and C is probably the director's most profitable and accessible film considering the rest of his career.
Director mentioned? No, but it was Richard Linklater
Also not known As the director who basically invented rotoscope animation. See other Cult Movies; A Scanner Darkly, Waking Life
Interesting Fact? Linklater did a 'Relationship Trilogy' not centered on fantasy or science fiction. It's a lot of talking.

5 Office Space
Cult status? Yes
Why? Did you not get the memo on those TPS reports?  
Director mentioned? YES!, it was Mike Judge who wasn't mentioned as also being the creator of Beavis and Butthead and King of the Hill.
Also not known As the man who created the smartest cult sci-fi comedy of all-time; Idiocracy.
Interesting Fact?  OK, I'm going to have to go ahead and get you to just watch this movie...

6 The Big Lebowski
Cult status? Yes 
Why? Ever hear of Lebowski Fest? There you go then...
Director mentioned?  Oddly enough, no because they were the Coen Brothers, who have won so many awards it is sickening.
Also not known as the guys behind another cult movie; Raising Arizona, starring Nicolas Cage in his prime and the guys who won some Oscars for No Country for Old Men.
Interesting Fact? leads this list in created memes, but that's just my opinion, man.

7 Clue
Cult status? Sure, why not. I read something about it on Gawker once.
Why? It had 3 different endings depending on which theater you were in.
Director mentioned? No, Jonathon Lynn
Also not known as the guy who directed Marissa Tomei to an Oscar for 'My Cousin Vinny'.  
Interesting Fact? I haven't seen it.

8 Shawshank Redemption
cult status?  No.
Why? It's based on a book by Stephen King, starred Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman and is a pretty basic 'love/life/freedom' buddy tale.
Director mentioned? No, but it was Frank Darabont
Also not known as the guy who does good adaptions of Stephen King books like The Mist and The Green Mile
Interesting Fact? Came out the same year as Pulp Fiction and Forrest Gump

9 BladeRunner
Cult status? Sure
Why? It's had so many re-edited versions, the original is probably pretty hard to find.
Director mentioned?  No, but it was Ridley Scott
Also not known as the director of Gladiator and Thelma & Louise
Interesting Fact? It has been considered one of the more realistic sci-fi movies with very little used in the way of special effects.

10 The Room
Cult status? if you stretch the definition a little.
Why? because it is so bad Ed Wood called from beyond the Grave. He wanted his shtick back.
Director mentioned? Yes, Tommy Wiseau
Also not known as the man who took a selfie for his IMDB page.
Interesting Fact? None. Never seen it nor want to.

11 Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory
Cult status? No 
Why? I know of nobody who has ever said 'hey we should get high and watch Willy Wonka'.
Director mentioned?  No - but it was Mel Stuart
Also not known as the man who prefers making documentaries.
Interesting Fact? This would be a good movie to watch high.

12 Troll 2
Cult status? No. 
Why? Ever hear of Troll 1? Me neither.
Director mentioned? Nope, Claudio Fragassio
Also not known as Drake Floyd (because that just sounds more American)
Interesting Fact? Just because you saw a strange little movie you heard about from one of your weird friends who worked at a video store doesn't make it a cult movie.

13 Citizen Kane
cult status?  No.
Why? This film is legendary, often cited as the #1 movie of all time on most critic lists.
Director mentioned? Oddly enough, no. It was Orson Welles.
Also not known as the man who created havoc doing a radio broadcast of War of the Worlds to a gullible American public
Interesting Fact? Nobody was there to hear the immortal words; Rosebud, making the whole plot of the movie impossible.

14 Vertigo
Cult status? No
Why? Being called a classic movie is not the same as being called a cult movie.
Director mentioned? Yes, Alfred Hitchcock
Also not known as 'whooooooo.... I feel dizzzyyyy'
Interesting Fact? The first movie where the bad guy gets away with it. Maybe. I could be confusing that with another Hitchcock movie...

15 It's a Wonderful Life
cult status? No
Why? Because it was shown every Christmas for fifty years.
Director mentioned? Sorta. It was Frank Capra.
Also not known as the guy who spearheaded putting a director's name above the actors for marketing purposes
Interesting Fact? like the next 'cult movie' it was picked up for cheap by a TV network and just replayed to death and into history.

16 The Wizard of Oz
Cult status? No 
Why? like previous, it was played every year for fifty years. Everybody who lived in the sixties and seventies has seen it or heard of it.
Director mentioned? Victor Fleming,
Also not known as the guy who also directed Gone With The Wind in the same year.
Interesting Fact; Wizard of Oz and Gone With The Wind were both nominated for Best Picture, making Wizard of Oz the only cult movie on this list to be nominated for Best Picture. 

17 Rocky Horror Picture Show 
Cult status? YES in a landslide.
Why? Time travelling transvestite aliens that like to dance and has a thing for Meat Loaf (the singer).
Director mentioned? Nope, Jim Sharman
Also not known as the guy who didn't do anything else after making the King of all Cult Movies
Interesting Fact? launched Tim Currie's career, showing sometimes dressing up in drag is the right thing to do career-wise. Did the opposite for Meat Loaf's movie career until Fight Club.


That's it. My critique of a list of semi-cult movies. Final score; 7 of 17 movies qualify as a cult movie under my rules. And seeing as how it is my blog, it's my rules.

Next time; My own selection of Cult Movies that are way better than this list. 

YOGA Cuz I'm Man Enough. Day 9

I might not be man enough...

I did Day 9. I complained. I am not having fun, no matter how much the youtube teacher is telling me to. My back continues to hurt. My wife says that's good. I say that's not good. She suggests maybe I should do back YOGA. I agree. I say I will look into it. Instead I played Borderlands 2 for 2 hours...

So I missed Day 10, although it was called '10 Minute Yoga'. Now I'm at work, and unlike last week, I'm most likely not going to do it at here. Instead I am going to work on the sequel to my novel, EaFoM 2, thinking a post-publication name change is in order.

Tomorrow Day 10...

YOGA Cuz I'm Man Enough Day 7 and 8

When I last blogged, I had done 16 minutes of Ab-related YOGA which was neither fun nor relaxing. In fact, it felt suspiciously like exercising.

Then I did Day 7 and it went back to the more normal YOGA. Despite my video teacher's encouragement, I am still having trouble making it 'fun' and learning what she means by 'raising my heart' as it's anatomically impossible to actually raise a heart from its permanent place in your chest cavity.

Then I said 'Fuck it, it's Sunday and I'm not doing YOGA so we watched Derailed instead, an early 2000's movie starring Clive Owen and Jennifer Aniston. It was okay, the story of a husband who tries to have an affair with Jen but winds up getting blackmailed by a mugger to the tune of $100,000+ who threatens to tell his wife about catching him (just about) doing the naughty with Jen.
To make Clive seem like an even bigger jerk, his daughter has medical problems to choosing between paying off the extortionist or telling his wife and not risk his daughter dying, I'd go Plan B. I mean, he could just say the guy was full of shit about him having an affair as there's no proof of anything going on.

"Hey honey, remember that douche bag who mugged me and gave me a broken nose?"
"Yes dear. I'm glad you cancelled your credit cards so we can continue to buy Baby her special medication."
"Yeah well, the douche bag called my cell and said if I don't pay him $20,000 he's going to tell you I was having an affair on you."
"That bastard."
"I know, right?"

But that would make for a lot shorter movie. Plus, and not spoiling something too much here but there's another guy that gets set up and killed but nobody seems to care about his wife. The least Clive could do was send her a message letting her know her husband isn't as big a jerk as she might think.

Anyways, Monday was back to YOGAing. Day 8.

It still sucks because it was all about sitting cross-legged and touching your chin to the floor which I can't do - Never have and never will. A lot of the other stretches just reminded me of the calisthenics we used to do before football practice, only we weren't being softly told to be all 'at peace with ourselves' and 'make it fun' and 'lift your heart' while we were doing it.

After I confessed to my wife that I totally understand why 'Real Men' don't do YOGA. I'm not Ron Swanson, but I'm kind of feeling like him...

 

I wasn't Man Enough... or was I? Yoga Day 6

Day 6 or nope nope nope.

I'm writing this from work, late on a Friday night. There weren't enough hours in the day to YOGA today. I worked night shift last night and then only slept for four hours before waking up for when my daughter got home from school. In hindsight, I should have done YOGA after I woke but I've been doing this with my partner so didn't feel right going on without her. And by the time hallway was painted, dinner was made, kids and dog were taken out for a walk and put to bed, it was 9pm. Having to go back to work at 10, I opted for a 1 hour nap, promising myself (and her) I would do 2 days of YOGA tomorrow.

You know... to make it fun.

Down like a downward dog...

but then...

I realized hey, this computer has Internet. I could still do Day 6, just without my partner. Who cares if it is 1 AM? So I DID YOGA!

And now, I'm glad I wasn't with my partner. It was 'Abs Yoga' which is nowhere easy as the last 5 days. I was frustrated, barely able to do the YOGA things. I know she could do it and although I hate to admit it, I hate to have her watch me fail. And all I had to do for Day 6 was basically keep my legs up in the air for 15 minutes. Of course, I didn't know that going in.
It was impossible. Today was the day I had to take lots of rests - I don't have Abs, I can't lift my legs up 90 degrees, much less bring my knees to my chest. So I went until I hurt, then I went 'ARGGGG' and put my legs down and rested, telling myself not to quit, it's only 15 minutes...

So I did it. No downward dog, no cobra or volcano - just a bunch of variations of leg raises.

It sucked. But I did it.

Tomorrow Day 7...

Cuz I'm Man Enough YOGA Day 5

This video instructor said 'make it fun' so many times today I wanted to punch them in their video face. Saving grace is the videos have become increasingly shorter from 32 minutes in Day 1 to only 16 minutes today. By the end of Day 30, it should be down to twenty seconds. Here's hoping...

Cuz I'm Man Enough: YOGA Camp Day 4

Two things, as once again I barely found the time and fortitude to continue with this experiment - I nearly had an epiphany as I was taking out the garbage just before going back in to start YOGAing - it had something to do with the idea that for 20-30 minutes as I YOGA there is nothing else I am doing which, considering my life the last little while has been so hectic, is kind of a nice thing.

Then I thought if only there was some Men's Only Gym I could go and do a YOGA class with just other guys where I don't have to consider doing the 'hold the baby' pose or feel my nuts cram into my belly button. I bet anything that class would be awesome - but probably because none of us would be doing actual YOGA but more likely playing blackjack and talking about truck tires and lying about how many women we slept with or something.

Then the other, more depressing thing is my Inner Critic came out and started thinking about making some type of odds about if I would get to 30 days. I started doing MATH which is not my strength and all I know is that I am not yet 1/4 of the way done. I'm not even 1/2 way to 1/2 way done which if I remember right is also another way to say 1/4. I'm not 1/3 done. I'm not 1/5th done and after that, well, it's too depressing to think about. So I'm not going to.

I did my YOGA today. I didn't question when the instructor said 'breathe into your lower back' as I figure I would just keep breathing my normal way until I get this epiphany thing down pay. Right now, all I am feeling is upper back pain, between the shoulder blades but my wife says that is normal because my body is readjusting itself.

Ohhh-kayy..

Anyways, to Day 5.

Yoga. Cuz I'm Man Enough Day 3

I admit, I was already composing tonight's post, which was explaining why I didn't YOGA today. I had it down pat - worked all day, school called to say my daughter fell off the playground and bumped her head, get Nana to come do some emergency nana-sitting while I went back into town, bought dinner to BBQ when I get home, feed Nana, grampa, and the family, go to Firehall for an early training course then home and to bed. How could I possibly fit YOGA into that packed schedule?

By the trainer ending class a half-hour early... damn. So I made it home by 930 where wife was ready with YOGA mats and Day 3.

I accomplished most of today, noticing more of the absurd terms that come up in YOGA to describe things that don't need to sound absurd. "Notice your breath". Go to Mountain Pose (stand up straight). Volcano Pose (hands over your head). I did well, only failing to even try the physically impossible for male 'hold the baby' pose, which is nothing like it sounds.

Not a YOGA Pose, unfortunately And to the delight of my wife, I only farted once - I knew it was going to happen eventually. You can only squish your abdomen up so much until some air is bound to escape out one way or another.  

Day 3 down, still no epiphanies. Except for the hold the baby thing but I don't think that counts.

You're joking, right? says every Man everywhere...