Stephen Kuhn's Blog, page 41

Book Review: Sex God

When my wife and I moved into our new home a few months back, I claimed the all-important task of merging our individual book collections into one glorious, unified library. After all, that’s what everyone looks forward to the most in a new marriage, right?

As I was unpacking my wife’s books, however, one of them caught my eye: Sex God, by Rob Bell.

Yes, that Rob Bell.

My wife owned a book by Rob Bell, which is probably something she should have brought up in premarital counseling.

Now, before anyone runs away at the mention of Rob, I have a confession I would like to make. Actually, I have two:

My first reaction when seeing the book was to get rid of it. I’d heard enough about Rob to subconsciously categorize him as a heretic in my mind, even though I’d never read any of his stuff myself. I had judged him based solely on the testimony (and tweets) of others. To be honest, I’m ashamed of that reaction, as it’s exactly the type of thing I try to avoid.

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My second reaction, which came after reading Sex God, was that it is hands-down the best book on Biblical sexuality I have read to date.

All that being said, my second confession makes me all the more ashamed of the my first confession. It also made me realize I should never question my wife’s ability to discern which books are worthy of being added to our library.

In all seriousness though, what is it about Rob Bell that polarizes people so much? Granted, I’ve only read one of his books, so I don’t know all the things he’s said in his other works, but are a few questionable beliefs enough reason to reject everything he’s put in print? Especially considering he has never claimed to be “right” about everything, he’s just trying to figure stuff out like the rest of us:

“Just because I’m a Christian and I’m trying to articulate a Christian worldview doesn’t mean I’ve got it nailed. I’m contributing to the discussion. God has spoken, and the rest is commentary, right?” —Robb Bell, back cover of Velvet Elvis

I doubt many Christians agree with everything Russell Brand says, yet we’re willing to stand unashamedly with him as he talks about the destructive nature of pornography. Most of us love Russell even though we don’t agree with him universally, so why don’t we treat Rob the same way? Is it because he carries the label of pastor? I don’t know.

What I do know, though, is Sex God is an amazing book, and I highly recommend it to anyone who is trying to develop a deeper understanding of the connection between their spirituality and their sexuality. When my daughter is older and our discussions about sexuality become deeper, this is the book I will recommend to her. It’s that good.

And as for Rob? The way I see it, if I had even half the ability to connect with the hearts (and hurts) of people the way he does, I’d be a better person for it. Rob may not get everything right (as none of us do), but he loves others amazingly well. And for that reason, I can now say that I’ve become a huge fan of Rob Bell.

Purchase Sex God on Amazon today!

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Highlighting My Highlights:

I’m one of those guys who can’t read a book without a highlighter in my hand, and as far as I’m concerned, it would be a shame to mark up my favorite content and never share it with you. With that in mind, here are some of my favorite quotes from Sex God.

Chapter 1: God Wears Lipstick

“The problem is when a ‘she’ becomes a ‘that.’ We forget the objects of our sexual desire are human beings with the image of God and reduce them to body parts.”

“How you treat the creation reflects how you feel about the creator.”

Chapter 2: Sexy on the Inside

“There’s a saying in the recovery movement: ‘You are only as sick as your secrets.’This is true for relationships as well. If there are secrets that haven’t been shared, topics that can’t be discussed, things from the past that are forbidden to be brought up, it can cripple a marriage… And so they’re sleeping together, but they’re really sleeping alone.”

Chapter 3: Angels and Animals

“In the creation poem that begins the Bible, people are created after animals. And from the rest of Scripture, we learn that people were also created after angels… When we act like angels [shut down our desires] or animals [blindly give in to our desires], we’re acting like beings who were created before us. We’re going backwards in creation. We’re going the wrong way. We’re headed back toward the chaos and disorder, not away from it.”

Chapter 4: Leather, Whips, and Fruit

“Whatever it is that has its hooks in you, you will never be free from it until you find something you want more. It’s not about getting rid of desire. It’s about giving ourselves to bigger and better and more powerful desires.”

Chapter 5: She Ran Into the Girl’s Bathroom

“Anytime we move toward another in any way, we are taking a risk. A risk that she may say no. Our gesture may not get returned. Our invitation may be rejected. Our love may never be reciprocated.”

“Why is heartbreak so universal? It’s universal because we’re feeling something as old as the world. Something God feels. The Bible begins with God making people who have freedom. Freedom to love God or not to love God. And these people consistently choose not to love God. It’s written in Genesis 6:6 that God “regretted that He had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled [broken].”

Chapter 6: Worth Dying For

“There is something about losing yourself to another and their losing themselves in you at the same time that defies our ability to categorize. Healthy marriages all have this sense of mutual abandon to each other. They’ve both jumped, in essence, into the arms of the other. There is a sense of mutual abandon between them. If one holds back, if one refrains, it doesn’t work.”

Chapter 7: Under the Chuppah

“Sometimes when a couple is living together, one of their friends tells them they should make things right in God’s eyes by making their relationship a legal marriage. But maybe it’s already a marriage in God’s eyes, and maybe their having sex has already joined them as man and wife from God’s perspective. This isn’t a low view of sex, it’s a higher view of sex. It’s a higher view of marriage. It’s people living in the reality of the decisions they’ve already made… Often people are unaware of just how serious this bond is, and it suffers—they suffer.”

Chapter 8: Johnny and June

“When our trust has been betrayed and those who were supposed to stand by us don’t, this naturally has consequences for how we think about God. It becomes hard to trust that God is good when our significant relationships simply aren’t that good.”

“The passage in Genesis about Adam and Eve is about whole persons coming together. All of Him being given to all of her. All of her being given to all of him. If he wants her just for her body, that splits her. It means that she is good to him only for a part of her. That’s why when she’s slept with him, she wants to know where the relationship is headed. She wants to be integrated. She craves it. She wants to know that he will be there in the morning, and the next morning, and the next morning. She wants to know that beyond the sex, he loves her, he wants her—all of her.”

Purchase Sex God on Amazon today!

The post Book Review: Sex God appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

Joshua Rodgers: The Right Time to Tell My Darkest Secret

“The thing was, when I was growing up, telling the story wasn’t an option. I simply knew that the wrong person had sexualized me at the wrong age, and I was never, ever to speak of it. But I desperately needed to get it off my chest.”

Credo House: Four Characteristics of Legalism

“Legalism is something we all lean toward in one way or another. Humanity has been plagued by this from the very beginning as we see in Job’s friends. Why is this? Well, we like to have everything under control. We don’t like risk. We don’t like it when things get uncomfortable. And showing grace, to ourselves and others, takes the ball out of our court. Rule, laws, and lists of requirements are so much easier than grace and freedom.”

Donald Miller: Before You Get Married, Do You Need to Talk About Money And Sex?

“Before my wife and I got married, I called my counselor friend Al to see if he would do our pre-marital counseling for us. His response really surprised me. He said basically, “no” and then explained how he didn’t like to do pre-marital counseling in the way you typically think about pre-marital counseling.”

Jaunita Ryan: Recovery from Distorted Images of God

“When we examine our private images of God and discover significant distortions, we may feel horrified at the thought that we could harbor such negative images of God. Viewing God in negative ways may seem unacceptable and frightening. In spite of our fears, however, I believe it is critical that we explore our private images of God.”

John Piper: Do You Love God?

The post Weekly Web (W)roundup appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

You are identified as God’s own

[God] has identified us as his own by placing the Holy Spirit in our hearts as the first installment that guarantees everything he has promised us (2 Corinthians 1:22).

One of my first experiences with an installment plan came back in the mid-90s when I purchased my first car: a pistachio-green 1976 AMC Pacer.

Oh man it was a thing of beauty.

Actually, it was probably one of the more hideous cars on the road at the time. But I didn’t care. I had a vision for what it could be.

I had saved up some money from my paper route, but not enough to fully cover the $1500 it would take to make it mine. So, like many kids, I took out a loan from my parents.

We agreed that I would pay them back in installments until the loan was fully satisfied. The cool thing though, was they let me put my name on the title. If I’d taken out a loan from a bank, the bank would have kept the title until it was paid in full. My parents, however, gave me full rights as the owner of my car even though I still owed them money on it.

From the very first installment, the Pacer was legally mine.

Knowing the car belonged to me, regardless of whatever condition it was in, made me love it unconditionally. I invested countless hours into sanding and repainting it, reupholstering the interior, and fixing the myriad of mechanical issues that were inevitable with a 20-year-old engine. If the car had belonged to someone else, there’s no way I would have put the time, money, or effort into transforming it into everything I’d pictured it to be.

In the same way, the moment you trusted Christ, God signed His name on the title of your soul by giving you the Holy Spirit. Your heart is in His name now, and no one will ever repossess it.

Furthermore, because you belong to God, you can be sure that He will fulfill everything He has promised to do in you. You may still feel like an old beater at times—peeling paint, broken transmission, flat tires—but God sees your full potential. He can’t wait to get you into His shop to restore you into the classic car that you are.

Yes, it will take time, and the job will never be fully complete this side of Heaven. But that doesn’t mean God will love you any less in the meantime.

I loved my Pacer when it was pistachio-green just as much as I loved it the day I drove it home from the shop with a fresh coat of gun-metal grey Mercedes paint and shiny new chrome rims.

Why? Because the Pacer was mine.

And you, my friend, are God’s.

This has been a repost from the archives.

The post You are identified as God’s own appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

My One Thing: Matt Dobschuetz

“What’s the one piece of advice you would give

to someone struggling with porn addiction?”

Matt Dobschuetz is a recovered porn addict and host of the Pornfree Radio podcast. Matt also leads a local recovery group in his local church near Chicago.

Connect with Matt:

Podcast: Pornfree Radio

Twitter: @MattDobschuetz

 

 

The post My One Thing: Matt Dobschuetz appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Smart Quote: John Bradford

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

The post Smart Quote: John Bradford appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

NACR.org: Let Go of Shame

“Letting go of shame is important because shame leads only to destructive places. Shame keeps us focused on how bad we feel about ourselves, and thus less aware and open to others. Shame keeps us immobilized because it is based in the belief that we are hopelessly beyond help. Shame pushes us to isolate because we feel too exposed. Shame feels so terrible that it opens the door to rage. We cannot stand to feel so terrible so we lash out at ourselves and we lash out at others.”

Wm. Paul Young: An Invitation to a Different Kind of Conversation

“Here are some thoughts as we work toward crafting a free and safe space, to interact and tell our stories. These are lessons I’ve learned about how to interact with each other freely, and I’d like you to ponder them, should you have the time and inclination.”

Gospel Coalition: 10 Things Singles in Romantic Relationships Ought to Know

“It’s not bad to want to have sex with your significant other. It’d be another sort of worry if you didn’t. The key is to want to glorify Christ more than you want to have sex with each other.”

CovenantEyes: 10 Amazing Resources for Talking to Children About Porn

“Talking to kids about porn sounds, at the very least, like an awkward conversation. But never before have their been so many good resources to help parents talk to their kids about this critical topic.”

Pete Wilson: Is There Really Grace For Sexual Sin?

The post Weekly Web (W)roundup appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Announcing my new book: “Done.” (Plus, vote for your favorite cover!)

Guess what? I wrote another book, and this one doesn’t have the word Porn emblazoned in giant red letters on the cover, so you should be way more comfortable reading it in public or giving it to your Grandmother.

The new book is called DONE. 52 Amazing Things that Became True of You the Moment You Trusted Christ. You can read more about it below, but first, I need your help choosing which design to use for the cover.

I’ve created three options, and I like all of them. However, I’m much more concerned with which one you like the best. So if you could take 30 seconds to vote for your favorite design, I would greatly appreciate it.

Plus, if you enter your email at the end of the survey (which is totally optional), I’ll let you know the day the book comes out this summer. You’ll want in on that for sure, because it’s going to be COMPLETELY FREE for the first 30 days only.

Vote for your favorite cover here!

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From the back cover:

Who Do You Think You Are?

If you’re anything like most people, your initial response to that question is probably your job title. After that, you may list off your age, how many kids you have, or perhaps even your hobbies. Those things may all be true about you, but they don’t define you. In order to discover the truth about who you really are, you need to ask the One who created you.

Who Does God Say You Are?

Done unpacks 52 key verses from God’s Word to help you discover His answer to the question of your identity. Each verse will help you to understand more deeply the truth of who you became the moment you trusted Christ.

You are Loved with an Everlasting Love
You Have Been Set Free from All Condemnation
You are Welcome in God’s Presence

The best part is, Done won’t give you a list of things you need to change in yourself. It will, however, help you discover the full depth of what God has already changed in you. That’s right, these changes are already done.

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature;

the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.”

—2 Corinthians 5:17—

Don’t forget to vote for your favorite cover!

The post Announcing my new book: “Done.” (Plus, vote for your favorite cover!) appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

You Have Become a Member of Christ’s Body

 All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it (1 Corinthians 12:27).

I’m convinced the 1980s were the golden decade for cartoons. Feel free to argue with me on that, but you probably won’t change my mind. Now, I can admit, my opinion may be tainted with the bias of personal nostalgia, but you have to admit there were some pretty awesome classics back then.

My personal favorite, hands-down, was Voltron. Five kids, each with their own giant robotic lion, who would combine together to form the massive robot, Voltron. Every episode followed the same basic template—a bad guy shows up, the kids try to battle him as individual lions, realize they’re overmatched, and then finally combine forces as Voltron to save the day.

This same basic template has shown up in multiple cartoon series even to this day. Transformers (a close second to Voltron in my mind) had multiple iterations of these “combiners”: Devastator (formed from the five Constructicons), Defensor (formed from the five Protectobots), and the impressive Predaking (formed from the five Predacons). Even the long-running Power Rangers series with their “Megazord” was clearly inspired by (IE: ripped-off) the Voltron template as well.

If there’s one thing I’ve noticed over the years though, it’s that these shows I loved so deeply as a boy spoke to me for a reason. More often than not, it’s because they awakened something inside of me that God had put there for a reason. In the case of Voltron, it’s this idea that we’re all given an important role to play as part of a larger team—God’s team.

The moment you trusted Jesus, you became part of the body of Christ. You may not have received a giant robotic lion, but you were made into the hands and feet of Jesus. In other words, He wants to use you as the instrument through which He does good works in this world, and for you to be His tangible representation to everyone you meet.

Practically speaking, this means that instead of merely praying for peace in the world and wondering why God isn’t answering that prayer, perhaps you should consider whether He’s put that particular desire on your heart because He’s chosen you to do something about it. Maybe He wants to use you as His arms to deliver a loving embrace to your city or family.

I can tell you one thing for sure—God didn’t save you so you could just sit there in your robotic lion and watch 80s cartoons while the body of Christ functions without you. Anytime Voltron went into battle even one lion short, it didn’t end well—at least not until everyone was able to contribute and the body was whole once again.

Luckily, the body of Christ doesn’t have any paralyzed limbs either. As long as you show up, you’ll be given all the power and energy you will need to do whatever He calls you to do. Your life now flows from the same source that’s been empowering countless generations of believers to change the world through His love.

So don’t settle for being a mere spectator. As a member of Christ’s body, you’re now part of the team. You may be the green lion, or perhaps you’re the red one. Either way, the body can’t function as well without you.

So get off the couch and get in the game. We need you.

GO VOLTRON FORCE!

This has been a repost from the archives.

The post You Have Become a Member of Christ’s Body appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

My One Thing: David Zailer

“What’s the one piece of advice you would give

to someone struggling with porn addiction?”

David Zailer is the Executive Director for Operation Integrity and author of the books Our Journey Home and When Lost Men Come Home (not for men only).

Connect with David:

Facebook: Operation Integrity

Twitter: @opintegrity

 

 

The post My One Thing: David Zailer appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Smart Quote: Rob Bell

Belt of Truth Ministries.