Stephen Kuhn's Blog, page 40

Why I No Longer Chase after “If Only”

EDITOR’S NOTE: Last week, we looked at how God never says If Only… This week, I’d like to look at how learning that truth changed the focus of my own life now that I know He loves me just as I am.

The temptations in this world are all pointing us toward the same thing: If only we could be like God (without His help). When I took up that effort, I became controlling, constantly swinging between feelings of shame and pride, and looking for comfort anywhere but in Christ.

Photo by castgen, Flickr Creative Commons

Sure, I did some good stuff, but my church attendance, Bible reading, and “righteous” deeds were nothing but cheap polish on the clay jar that God made me to be.

Somehow, I imagined that all this effort at perfection would make the Gospel more appealing to others, allowing God’s kingdom to grow. Yet it was all folly.

You see, God never intended for me to polish my own jar, to make the vessel impressive. My self-righteous deeds were like filthy rags before Him. All of the glory I was seeking was for me, not for Him. And all such glory is fleeting.

So now, I’ve set down that desire for self-won godliness, and instead pursue full-surrender to God instead.

But what exactly does that look like? For me, it started with rejecting the impressive things I wanted to do and doing the hard things I knew God was calling me to do:

I became transparent and open with some God-fearing friends.
I was finally honest with my wife and faced the evil I was doing to her.
I began making humble sacrifices instead of prideful excuses.

In reality, though I didn’t do anything. I merely allowed God to finally do what He wanted to do: Pour me out like an old, clay pot so that His life could be what fills me up.

And with His new life in me, I now get to live knowing that He is perfectly pleased with me doing the things He has called me to do, which sets me free from constantly wondering what I could become if only I were doing more…

The post Why I No Longer Chase after “If Only” appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

Gospel Coalition: What Does it Mean to “Accept Jesus”?

“A person in this condition can “accept Jesus” in either of two ways. One way is to invite him onto the committee. Give Jesus a vote too. But then he is just one influence among many. This way of inviting Jesus into one’s life is common here in the Bible Belt. But it isn’t Christianity, as defined by the New Testament.”

NACR.org: Why Do Christians Need to Work the Steps?

“Works can never be the foundation for our relationship with God. But there should be nothing passive about our relationship with God either. It is God’s intention that we give ourselves to the work of becoming more and more able to receive God’s grace.”

Desiring God: You Can Say No to Porn

“Not all sexual desire is lust. God made sexual desire. It has its good place and it can, in fact, become an act of worship in the temple of marriage. But lust is sexual desire gone wrong.”

CovenantEyes: Paul vs. Porn–How the old apostle delivers a death blow to a modern addiction

“For many, this is how they feel about pornography: they feel a compulsive draw to it, an attachment, a preoccupation. Rather than use medical terms to describe our compulsions, the Apostle Paul used familiar terms of the marketplace—in particular, the institution of slavery.”

Pastor Bob Daily: Fear

The post Weekly Web (W)roundup appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

You are a New Creation

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! (2 Corinthians 5:17)

I don’t know about you, but I’ve spent countless years of my life trying to make myself into a better person. My biggest struggle was always with pornography, and my typical approach to fixing it was a combination of willpower and filter software—neither of which worked for very long. I’d look at my addiction and think life will only get better if I somehow fix this part of me. Or worse, God will only love me if I change. Unfortunately, no matter what I did, I never could change for the better.

Now this may surprise you, but since I’ve found freedom from porn I’ve come to believe that God wasn’t all that interested in changing me during those years of my addiction. Before anyone get’s all spun up about that, let me explain what I mean.

I grew up in the church and trusted Christ very early in life. Which means, according to this verse, God had already changed me into a new person years before I ever got hooked on porn. But if that’s truly the case, why did I struggle so much with sin (and, to be honest, still do at times)?

The answer, I believe, is that I’d never been taught the truth about how I had already been changed. I didn’t realize that I had been given a new heart with new desires (Ezekiel 36:26). I didn’t understand what it meant to have the Holy Spirit living inside of me, empowering me to resist temptation (1 Corinthians 6:18-19). I had no idea that God had given me access to His wisdom and had already set me from the power of sin (1 Corinthians 1:30). I had all the tools and resources of the Kingdom available, but never realized they were mine to use.

The question I should have been asking during the years of my addiction wasn’t “What do I need to do to change myself for the better?” It should have been “How do I get to live my life now that God has already changed me?” Once I began focusing on what God had already done in me rather than what I could do for myself, that’s when I began to experience freedom from my addiction. Life was no longer about becoming someone new, it was about maturing into who God says I already am.

I’ll be honest though, there are still days where it doesn’t feel like I’ve been changed. But I’ve discovered that whenever I wait for something to feel true before I’m willing to trust it, I never experience it. If, however, I choose to believe what God says is true about me regardless of whether it feels true, then the feelings inevitably come. Trusting that God has already changed me, regardless of my feelings, is what allows me to live my life as if He has.

In the same way, if you’ve trusted Christ, you can trust that God has already made you a new person as well.

So remember, God isn’t interested in changing you.

Why?

Because He already has.

It’s done.

This has been a repost from the archives.

The post You are a New Creation appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

My One Thing: Crystal Renaud

“What’s the one piece of advice you would give

to someone struggling with porn addiction?”

Crystal Renaud is the founder and executive director of Dirty Girls Ministries (a ministry that seeks to offer help, hope, and healing for women who struggle with pornography and sexual addition), and the author of the book Dirty Girls Come Clean.

Connect with Crystal:

Ministry: Dirty Girls Ministries

Facebook: www.facebook.com/WholeWomen

Twitter: @DirtyGirlsMin

Check out all the “One Thing” video interviews here.

Transcript

The post My One Thing: Crystal Renaud appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Smart Quote: John Eldredge

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

The post Smart Quote: John Eldredge appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

God Never Says “If Only…”

In the winter of 2006, the church I loved (and simultaneously hated) was crumbling around me, my pregnant wife had developed a growing sense of loneliness that would eventually bring us to the brink of divorce, and my porn habit was still safely wrapped in lies. However, if you had asked me, I still would’ve told you I was on my way to doing great things for God and living out the Gospel each day.

Photo by paolobarzman, Flickr Creative Commons

I didn’t recognize the one thing that was driving all of my pending catastrophes: the selfish desire to focus on the If only’s…

If only my wife’s sex drive had spiked in the second trimester like that book said it would…

If only my pastor would see my potential and hand me the reigns…

If only God would choose me… bless me… anoint my efforts…

If only people would understand that my occasional lust binges were no big deal…

If only I was someone else… somewhere else…

If only sin didn’t have consequences…

I’ve since learned that God never says if only… He never wishes that He had another plan or another Church. He never looks at His beloved like a poorly picked schoolyard team.

No, God chose His children before the world began. He knew us and predestined us for the good works He’s setting before us even now. He doesn’t wish He’d only made you taller, or smarter, or whatever (see Exodus 4:11). God made you a jar of clay on purpose. He wants to put His treasure in you the way you are now.

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is part 1 in a 2-part series. Be sure to check back next week for the second part: Why I No Longer Chase after “If Only…”

The post God Never Says “If Only…” appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

Reverence Movement: How would the real Jesus answer the question “Is homosexuality a sin?”

“About 80% of the people I speak with about God and Homosexuality are very open-minded when it comes to learning about and discussing the subject in a loving manner. As a Pastor, I find this very encouraging. However, there are a select few who still wish to draw a line in the sand; a line they will not cross.”

People of the Second Chance: Undeserving Freedom

Many of us have experienced wounds that cut to the core. The problem is that most of our wounds have held us captive with the belief that what we’ve done has disqualified us from being used by God. It’s time to let that belief go. Guilt and shame don’t belong to you anymore. They belong to the one who uttered the words, “IT IS FINISHED.“

Tim Challies: The Seed of Divorce

“One young man asked how to ensure that a couple does not bring into their marriage a seed that could bloom into divorce. And it did not take me more than a moment to realize that in my marriage and in your marriage and in every marriage, there is already the seed of divorce.”

NACR.org: Grace in Action

“The hard rule of grace is that there is nothing you can do to earn it. Anything we do to try to earn grace cuts us right off from The Source. We can’t experience God’s grace unless we are willing to let God give it to us—not an easy task.”

Sam Allberry: “What are some ways that Christians can more effectively minister to church members who struggle with same-sex attraction?”

The post Weekly Web (W)roundup appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

You Have Been Given the Confidence to be Bold

Since this new way gives us such confidence, we can be very bold (2 Corinthians 3:12).

Boldness. Confidence. Bravery. Chutzpah.

Whatever you call it, it’s the same idea: The ability to face fear, danger, or opposition—all for the name of Christ.

Is boldness something you generate on your own though? Can you just “man up,” “grow a pair,” and overcome whatever fears are holding you back from proclaiming the love of Christ to others?

Maybe for a bit, sure. But not consistently. At least not to the level it will take to reach the far corners of the Earth.

For that, it will take the confidence that only comes from understanding this “new way” Jesus has brought us into:

The old way, with laws etched in stone, led to death, though it began with such glory that the people of Israel could not bear to look at Moses’ face… Shouldn’t we expect far greater glory under the new way, now that the Holy Spirit is giving life? If the old way, which brings condemnation, was glorious, how much more glorious is the new way, which makes us right with God! (2 Corinthians 3:7-9)

The old way—following the rules and making sacrifices—led to death. Why? Because no one could follow the rules. No matter how hard anyone tried to be good enough, they knew deep down they were failing.

Sure, they could make sacrifices to temporarily cover the death penalty for their sins, but what if they overlooked one? There was constant fear that some sin was left unaccounted for. No one truly knew for sure if they were right with God. They had no confidence because their hope was tied to their own abilities.

But now that you are in Christ, you have been brought into the “new way.” You have been made right with God because of what Jesus has done for you—not because of what you tried to do for Him.

In addition, you now have the Holy Spirit living within you, empowering you with the same eternal life that brought Jesus back from death.

And the best part, is this righteousness, power, and life will last forever. You cannot lose it. It will never be taken away from you. Which is why you can trust this new way with an everlasting confidence, empowering you to boldly proclaim its good news to everyone who has yet to hear it.

This has been a repost from the archives.

The post You Have Been Given the Confidence to be Bold appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

My One Thing: Dr. Ted Roberts

“What’s the one piece of advice you would give

to someone struggling with porn addiction?”

Dr. Ted Roberts is the Founder of Pure Desire Ministries International and author of the bestselling book, Pure Desire.

Connect with Dr. Roberts:

Ministry: Pure Desire Ministries

Facebook: www.facebook.com/pages/Pure-Desire-Ministries-International

 

Check out all the “One Thing” video interviews here.

Transcript

The post My One Thing: Dr. Ted Roberts appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Smart Quote: Paul David Tripp

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

The post Smart Quote: Paul David Tripp appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.