Abdulazeez Henry Musa's Blog
June 2, 2016
20 WAYS TO REDUCE ANGER IN YOUR MARRIAGE
Anger is considered to be at the root of most destruction. In fact, no marriage can be destroyed literarily except at least one person has gotten angry and refuse to forgive the other. Literarily speaking, it is a major marriage killer. It has destroyed many lives, families, destinies, companies, etc. As such, it is very imperative for one to know how to deal with anger in their marriage. Pejoratively, anger is a strange and bitter feeling of displeasure and irritation that makes you to desire to harm, hurt or criticize someone because they have done something you think it is unfair, cruel and offensive to you.
Anger is a secondary emotion caused by the following depending on the way you wish to unravel it:
1. When you feel your spouse is mistreating you, whether true or not; anger is the kind of feeling that will come over you.
2. Unmet expectation. We all have our expectations which can be reasonable and unreasonable. When these expectations are not met, they can lead to anger if not handled with wisdom.
3. Absence of love makes it easier to get one angry because it is only love that can cover multitude of sin.
4. Lack of patience in marriage will always lead to anger. If we are not patience with our spouse’s weaknesses, mistakes, foolishness, failures, inadequacies etc. it will easily get you angry.
5. Strife is resentment, wisdom and repressed anger. It begins with gossips, backbiting etc. it do leads to argument, yelling, hatred etc.
6. Jealousy and envy. When you begin to feel that you are the one that supposed to have what your spouse has; anger is the end result.
7. Lack of trust between spouses is an easy trigger of anger. If you don’t trust, you don’t love but lost.
Here are few tips to reduce anger in your marriage;
1. Keep communication channels open
2. Never take each other for granted
3. Never use sex as a weapon
4. Appreciate each other generously and unconditionally
5. Be patience with each other
6. Always remember that your spouse is not perfect
7. Try as much as possible to meet the needs of each other
8. Respect each other
9. Don’t ever permit any third party to come between you
10. Recognize your husband as the head of the family regardless of societal laws.
11. Imbibe the culture of praying together
12. Clarify anything
13. Recognize your wife as the queen of the family and second to none
14. Pray together always
15. Listen to each other’s opinion always and all times
16. Create alone and quality time together
17. Remember the good things, and bring them to mind often.
18. Always put each other’s interest first in anything and everything you do
19. Study the Bible together always.
20. Always see your spouse as somebody you are privileged to marry.
It is the same with love. Give yourself some strength. The Lord has given you two to each other, to wear down the rough edges, to help you become the person he intends you to be, to bring you closer to Himself by bringing you closer to your spouse. Rejoice in the confidence of God’s faithfulness to your marriage, and be faithful to each other even in those unexpected moments.
Anger is a secondary emotion caused by the following depending on the way you wish to unravel it:
1. When you feel your spouse is mistreating you, whether true or not; anger is the kind of feeling that will come over you.
2. Unmet expectation. We all have our expectations which can be reasonable and unreasonable. When these expectations are not met, they can lead to anger if not handled with wisdom.
3. Absence of love makes it easier to get one angry because it is only love that can cover multitude of sin.
4. Lack of patience in marriage will always lead to anger. If we are not patience with our spouse’s weaknesses, mistakes, foolishness, failures, inadequacies etc. it will easily get you angry.
5. Strife is resentment, wisdom and repressed anger. It begins with gossips, backbiting etc. it do leads to argument, yelling, hatred etc.
6. Jealousy and envy. When you begin to feel that you are the one that supposed to have what your spouse has; anger is the end result.
7. Lack of trust between spouses is an easy trigger of anger. If you don’t trust, you don’t love but lost.
Here are few tips to reduce anger in your marriage;
1. Keep communication channels open
2. Never take each other for granted
3. Never use sex as a weapon
4. Appreciate each other generously and unconditionally
5. Be patience with each other
6. Always remember that your spouse is not perfect
7. Try as much as possible to meet the needs of each other
8. Respect each other
9. Don’t ever permit any third party to come between you
10. Recognize your husband as the head of the family regardless of societal laws.
11. Imbibe the culture of praying together
12. Clarify anything
13. Recognize your wife as the queen of the family and second to none
14. Pray together always
15. Listen to each other’s opinion always and all times
16. Create alone and quality time together
17. Remember the good things, and bring them to mind often.
18. Always put each other’s interest first in anything and everything you do
19. Study the Bible together always.
20. Always see your spouse as somebody you are privileged to marry.
It is the same with love. Give yourself some strength. The Lord has given you two to each other, to wear down the rough edges, to help you become the person he intends you to be, to bring you closer to Himself by bringing you closer to your spouse. Rejoice in the confidence of God’s faithfulness to your marriage, and be faithful to each other even in those unexpected moments.
May 19, 2016
TIPS AND RED FLAGS FOR SPOTTING A SEXUAL PREDATOR
As many as sixty percent are abused by people the family trusts, including relatives, coaches, teachers, clergy, and others who are in positions of authority, power, and influence. Imagine how difficult it is for children to say no to such people, especially if the abuser describes his behaviour as “loving” or “caring.” Those who sexually abuse children are drawn to settings where they can gain easy access to children, such as sports leagues, religious youth centers, clubs, and schools. They go to extraordinary efforts to gain the trust of parents and other relatives. Imagine, for example, the vulnerability of a single parent’s children when a coach or teacher volunteers to watch them after school, when the parent must be at work, or when the parent has some form outing to attend. Despite the frightening facts and statistics that exist about online predators, the real truth is parents can do a lot to protect their children from real and perceived threats. Here are some safety tips and red flags I have put together for spotting a sexual predator:
Someone who often wants to spend more time with your child than you;
Someone who is married or in a relationship;
Someone who buys expensive gifts or gives children money for no reason;
Predators are not always strangers. Often they are family members, family friends, and neighbours;
Someone who is a good manipulator (Seduction is an integral part of sexual abuse.);
Someone who is overly self-indulgent;
Someone who is arrogant and narcissistic in nature;
Someone who is lascivious in nature;
Someone who sexualizes and objectifies women at all times;
Someone who always insist on hugging, touching, kissing, tickling, wrestling or holding a child, even when a child doesn’t want this affection;
Someone who is typically known to rationalize, intellectualizes, and justify;
Great helpers, who are there to lend a helping hand and to prey on people in need when they can insinuate themselves in their life;
Someone who takes advantage of stressful and vulnerable situations finds a need they can fill and use that to get next to the victim and so on;
Someone who inappropriately makes comments about the way your child looks etc.
The greatest risk to our children doesn’t come naturally from strangers but from friends and members of one’s family. For more guide and resources on how to protect your child from sexual predatory attacks, grab a copy of my book, ‘Cybersex - A Nightmare of the 21st Century’ available on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Cybersex-Nightm...
Someone who often wants to spend more time with your child than you;
Someone who is married or in a relationship;
Someone who buys expensive gifts or gives children money for no reason;
Predators are not always strangers. Often they are family members, family friends, and neighbours;
Someone who is a good manipulator (Seduction is an integral part of sexual abuse.);
Someone who is overly self-indulgent;
Someone who is arrogant and narcissistic in nature;
Someone who is lascivious in nature;
Someone who sexualizes and objectifies women at all times;
Someone who always insist on hugging, touching, kissing, tickling, wrestling or holding a child, even when a child doesn’t want this affection;
Someone who is typically known to rationalize, intellectualizes, and justify;
Great helpers, who are there to lend a helping hand and to prey on people in need when they can insinuate themselves in their life;
Someone who takes advantage of stressful and vulnerable situations finds a need they can fill and use that to get next to the victim and so on;
Someone who inappropriately makes comments about the way your child looks etc.
The greatest risk to our children doesn’t come naturally from strangers but from friends and members of one’s family. For more guide and resources on how to protect your child from sexual predatory attacks, grab a copy of my book, ‘Cybersex - A Nightmare of the 21st Century’ available on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Cybersex-Nightm...
May 18, 2016
WARNING SIGNS OF A CHILD PREDATOR
Over the years, technology has transcended. The Internet has not only become a vast information system and social network but also a very dangerous vice which people now use to hash out their diabolical plans, creating an unpleasant threat that is taunting our society and making it unsafe for our children. Ignoring the safety of your child in the face of adversity is the last thing you want to do. With the prevailing rate of sexual predatory attacks on young teenage girls and boys in our society, it now becomes an issue of grave concern that each and every one of us must work together to eradicate this issue that is bedevilling our society and threatening the well-being and safety of our children.
Here are some of the most common warning signs that can alert your senses to a child predator.
Someone who may be overly nice, kind, and friendly;
Someone who uses clever means to gain access to and cross boundaries with children;
Someone who is overly attentive to your child. Paedophiles have radar for kids who come from broken homes or whose needs are not getting met. (Paedophiles gain a child’s trust by giving the attention he or she craves.);
Child predators often work in a position that allows them access to children. They can be teachers, coaches, scout leaders, church personnel etc;
They are usually loners and have an inability to get their needs met from adult relationships;
They may have families of their own who are unaware of their activities;
Paedophiles will do everything in their power to earn your trust, so you will assume that your child is safe in their care. Other warning signs are;
Someone who is uncharacteristically quiet. Most paedophiles are men. It is estimated that only four percent of paedophiles are women. Don’t let this prevent you from looking more closely at a woman with whom your child has reported feeling unsafe;
Someone who had a troubled childhood;
Someone who has a need for power and control over every single situation;
Someone who has a lack of empathy for anything;
Someone who has deviant sexual behaviour and attitudes;
Someone always playing Mr. Nice Guy etc
As a cautionary tale, always guide and protect your child at all times. Don’t worry about hurting the feelings of adults. The safety of children should be your first priority. If you have suspicions about an adult who has access to your child, do not hesitate to do a background check to find out instantly if this person has a criminal history. You can do this easily and anonymously, thereby protecting the lives of children and securing your peace of mind. For more guide and resources on how to protect your child from sexual predatory attacks, grab a copy of my book, ‘Cybersex - A Nightmare of the 21st Century’ available on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Cybersex-Nightm...
Here are some of the most common warning signs that can alert your senses to a child predator.
Someone who may be overly nice, kind, and friendly;
Someone who uses clever means to gain access to and cross boundaries with children;
Someone who is overly attentive to your child. Paedophiles have radar for kids who come from broken homes or whose needs are not getting met. (Paedophiles gain a child’s trust by giving the attention he or she craves.);
Child predators often work in a position that allows them access to children. They can be teachers, coaches, scout leaders, church personnel etc;
They are usually loners and have an inability to get their needs met from adult relationships;
They may have families of their own who are unaware of their activities;
Paedophiles will do everything in their power to earn your trust, so you will assume that your child is safe in their care. Other warning signs are;
Someone who is uncharacteristically quiet. Most paedophiles are men. It is estimated that only four percent of paedophiles are women. Don’t let this prevent you from looking more closely at a woman with whom your child has reported feeling unsafe;
Someone who had a troubled childhood;
Someone who has a need for power and control over every single situation;
Someone who has a lack of empathy for anything;
Someone who has deviant sexual behaviour and attitudes;
Someone always playing Mr. Nice Guy etc
As a cautionary tale, always guide and protect your child at all times. Don’t worry about hurting the feelings of adults. The safety of children should be your first priority. If you have suspicions about an adult who has access to your child, do not hesitate to do a background check to find out instantly if this person has a criminal history. You can do this easily and anonymously, thereby protecting the lives of children and securing your peace of mind. For more guide and resources on how to protect your child from sexual predatory attacks, grab a copy of my book, ‘Cybersex - A Nightmare of the 21st Century’ available on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Cybersex-Nightm...
May 12, 2016
SIGNS THAT AN ADULT MAY BE USING THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH A CHILD FOR SEXUAL REASONS
The signs that an adult is using their relationship with a child for sexual reasons may not be obvious. We may feel uncomfortable about the way they play with the child, or seem always to be favouring them and creating reasons for them to be alone. There may be cause for concern about the behaviour of an adult or young person if they:
• Refuse to allow a child sufficient privacy or to make their own decisions on personal matters.
• Insist on physical affection such as kissing, hugging or wrestling even when the child clearly does not want it.
• Are overly interested in the sexual development of a child or teenager.
• Insist on time alone with a child with no interruptions.
• Spend most of their spare time with children and have little interest in spending time with people their own age.
• Regularly offer to baby-sit children for free or take children on overnight outings alone.
• Buy children expensive gifts or give them money for no apparent reason.
• Frequently walk in on children/teenagers in the bathroom.
• Treat a particular child as a favourite, making them feel 'special' compared with others in the family.
• Pick on a particular child.
For more resources on how to protect and educate your child on issues of abuse, grab a copy of my book, “Cybersex - A Nightmare of the 21st Century” available on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Cybersex-Nightm...
• Refuse to allow a child sufficient privacy or to make their own decisions on personal matters.
• Insist on physical affection such as kissing, hugging or wrestling even when the child clearly does not want it.
• Are overly interested in the sexual development of a child or teenager.
• Insist on time alone with a child with no interruptions.
• Spend most of their spare time with children and have little interest in spending time with people their own age.
• Regularly offer to baby-sit children for free or take children on overnight outings alone.
• Buy children expensive gifts or give them money for no apparent reason.
• Frequently walk in on children/teenagers in the bathroom.
• Treat a particular child as a favourite, making them feel 'special' compared with others in the family.
• Pick on a particular child.
For more resources on how to protect and educate your child on issues of abuse, grab a copy of my book, “Cybersex - A Nightmare of the 21st Century” available on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Cybersex-Nightm...
May 11, 2016
WARNING SIGNS IN CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS OF POSSIBLE CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE
The issue of abuse on children and adolescents has become so pervasive in our society and it is showing no signs of slowing down. If you are concerned that your child is been abused or may be a victim of abuse, you may not be sure what to do or how to respond. Child sexual abuse is a crime that often goes undetected. No matter what your role is - parent or other family member, coach, teacher, religious leader, babysitter - you have the power to make a positive difference in this child’s life.
Children often show us rather than tell us that something is upsetting them. There may be many reasons for changes in their behaviour, but if we notice a combination of worrying signs it may be time to call for help or advice.
What to watch out for in children:
• Acting out in an inappropriate sexual way with toys or objects
• Nightmares, sleeping problems
• Becoming withdrawn or very clingy
• Becoming unusually secretive
• Sudden unexplained personality changes, mood swings and seeming insecure
• Regressing to younger behaviours, e.g. bedwetting
• Unaccountable fear of particular places or people
• Outburst of anger
• Changes in eating habits
• New adult words for body parts and no obvious source
• Talk of a new, older friend and unexplained money or gifts
• Self-harm (cutting, burning or other harmful activities)
• Physical signs, such as, unexplained soreness or bruises around genitals or mouth, sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy
• Running away
• Not wanting to be alone with a particular child or young person
Any one sign doesn't mean that a child was or is being sexually abused, but the presence of several suggests that you should begin to ask questions and consider seeking help. Keep in mind that some of these signs can emerge at other times of stress such as:
• During a divorce
• Death of a family member or pet
• Problems at school or with friends
• Other anxiety-inducing or traumatic events
Physical warning signs:
Physical signs of sexual abuse are rare; however, if you see these signs, take your child to a doctor. Your doctor can help you understand what may be happening and test for sexually transmitted diseases.
• Pain, discoloration, bleeding or discharges in genitals, anus or mouth
• Persistent or recurring pain during urination and bowel movements
• Wetting and soiling accidents unrelated to toilet training
No matter whatever situation we find ourselves, it is our responsibility as parents to guide, nurture and protect our children. And we owe them that unconditionally! For more resources on how to protect and educate your child on issues of abuse, grab a copy of my book on “Cybersex - A Nightmare of the 21st Century” available on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Cybersex-Nightm...
Children often show us rather than tell us that something is upsetting them. There may be many reasons for changes in their behaviour, but if we notice a combination of worrying signs it may be time to call for help or advice.
What to watch out for in children:
• Acting out in an inappropriate sexual way with toys or objects
• Nightmares, sleeping problems
• Becoming withdrawn or very clingy
• Becoming unusually secretive
• Sudden unexplained personality changes, mood swings and seeming insecure
• Regressing to younger behaviours, e.g. bedwetting
• Unaccountable fear of particular places or people
• Outburst of anger
• Changes in eating habits
• New adult words for body parts and no obvious source
• Talk of a new, older friend and unexplained money or gifts
• Self-harm (cutting, burning or other harmful activities)
• Physical signs, such as, unexplained soreness or bruises around genitals or mouth, sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy
• Running away
• Not wanting to be alone with a particular child or young person
Any one sign doesn't mean that a child was or is being sexually abused, but the presence of several suggests that you should begin to ask questions and consider seeking help. Keep in mind that some of these signs can emerge at other times of stress such as:
• During a divorce
• Death of a family member or pet
• Problems at school or with friends
• Other anxiety-inducing or traumatic events
Physical warning signs:
Physical signs of sexual abuse are rare; however, if you see these signs, take your child to a doctor. Your doctor can help you understand what may be happening and test for sexually transmitted diseases.
• Pain, discoloration, bleeding or discharges in genitals, anus or mouth
• Persistent or recurring pain during urination and bowel movements
• Wetting and soiling accidents unrelated to toilet training
No matter whatever situation we find ourselves, it is our responsibility as parents to guide, nurture and protect our children. And we owe them that unconditionally! For more resources on how to protect and educate your child on issues of abuse, grab a copy of my book on “Cybersex - A Nightmare of the 21st Century” available on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Cybersex-Nightm...
May 10, 2016
THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT DEPRESSION
Depression otherwise known as Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) or Clinical Depression (CD) is a common but serious mood disorder. It causes severe symptoms that affect how you feel, think, and handle our daily activities, such as sleeping, eating, or working. To be diagnosed with depression, the symptoms must be present for at least two weeks. When a person has depression, it interferes with their daily life and normal functioning. It can cause pain for both the person with depression and those who care about him or her. It is a real illness. It is not a sign of a person’s weakness or a character flaw and you can’t “snap out of” clinical depression. Most people who experience depression need treatment to get better. Put simple:
• Depression is a real illness.
• Depression affects people in different ways.
• Depression is treatable.
• If you have depression, you are not alone.
Sadness is only a small part of depression. Some people with depression may not feel sadness at all. Depression has many other symptoms, including physical ones. If you have been experiencing any of the following signs and symptoms for at least 2 weeks, you may be suffering from depression:
• Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
• Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
• Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities
• Decreased energy, fatigue, being “slowed down”
• Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
• Difficulty sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
• Appetite and/or weight changes
• Thoughts of death or suicide, suicide attempts
• Restlessness, irritability
• Persistent physical symptoms
Not everyone who is depressed experiences every symptom. Some people experience only a few symptoms while others may experience many. Several persistent symptoms in addition to low mood are required for a diagnosis of major depression, but people with only a few – but distressing – symptoms may benefit from treatment of their “subsyndromal” depression. The severity and frequency of symptoms and how long they last will vary depending on the individual and his or her particular illness. Symptoms may also vary depending on the stage of the illness.
The risk factor is that, depression can happen at any age, but often begins in adulthood. Depression is now recognized as occurring in children and adolescents, although it sometimes presents with more prominent irritability than low mood. Some of these risk factors include:
• Personal or family history of depression
• Major life changes, trauma, or stress
• Certain physical illnesses and medications
Antidepressants are medicines that treat depression. They may help improve the way your brain uses certain chemicals that control mood or stress. You may need to try several different antidepressant medicines before finding the one that improves your symptoms and has manageable side effects. A medication that has helped you or a close family member in the past will often be considered.
Please Note: In some cases, children, teenagers, and young adults under 25 may experience an increase in suicidal thoughts or behavior when taking antidepressants, especially in the first few weeks after starting or when the dose is changed. If you are considering taking an antidepressant and you are pregnant, planning to become pregnant, or breastfeeding, talk to your doctor about any increased health risks to you or your unborn or nursing child. To find the latest information about antidepressants, talk to your doctor.
• Depression is a real illness.
• Depression affects people in different ways.
• Depression is treatable.
• If you have depression, you are not alone.
Sadness is only a small part of depression. Some people with depression may not feel sadness at all. Depression has many other symptoms, including physical ones. If you have been experiencing any of the following signs and symptoms for at least 2 weeks, you may be suffering from depression:
• Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
• Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
• Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities
• Decreased energy, fatigue, being “slowed down”
• Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
• Difficulty sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
• Appetite and/or weight changes
• Thoughts of death or suicide, suicide attempts
• Restlessness, irritability
• Persistent physical symptoms
Not everyone who is depressed experiences every symptom. Some people experience only a few symptoms while others may experience many. Several persistent symptoms in addition to low mood are required for a diagnosis of major depression, but people with only a few – but distressing – symptoms may benefit from treatment of their “subsyndromal” depression. The severity and frequency of symptoms and how long they last will vary depending on the individual and his or her particular illness. Symptoms may also vary depending on the stage of the illness.
The risk factor is that, depression can happen at any age, but often begins in adulthood. Depression is now recognized as occurring in children and adolescents, although it sometimes presents with more prominent irritability than low mood. Some of these risk factors include:
• Personal or family history of depression
• Major life changes, trauma, or stress
• Certain physical illnesses and medications
Antidepressants are medicines that treat depression. They may help improve the way your brain uses certain chemicals that control mood or stress. You may need to try several different antidepressant medicines before finding the one that improves your symptoms and has manageable side effects. A medication that has helped you or a close family member in the past will often be considered.
Please Note: In some cases, children, teenagers, and young adults under 25 may experience an increase in suicidal thoughts or behavior when taking antidepressants, especially in the first few weeks after starting or when the dose is changed. If you are considering taking an antidepressant and you are pregnant, planning to become pregnant, or breastfeeding, talk to your doctor about any increased health risks to you or your unborn or nursing child. To find the latest information about antidepressants, talk to your doctor.
May 6, 2016
7 LIFE TIME ADVICE FOR EVERYONE
1- Don't let someone become a priority in your life, when all you are in their life is just an option. Relationships work best when they are balanced.
2- Never explain yourself to anyone because the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person who doesn't like you won't believe it.
3- When you keep saying you are busy, then you are never free. When you keep saying you have no time, then you will never have time. When you keep saying that you will do it tomorrow, then your tomorrow will never come.
4 - When we wake up in the morning, we have just two simple choices. Go back to sleep and dream, or wake up and chase those dreams. The choice is yours!
5- We make them cry who care for us. We cry for those who never care for us. And we care for those who will never cry for us. This is the truth of life, it's strange but true. Once you realize this, it's never too late to change.
6- Don't make promises when you are in joy. Don't reply when you are sad. Don't take decision when you are angry. Think twice, act once!
7- Time is like river. You can't touch the same water twice because the flow that has passed will never pass again
2- Never explain yourself to anyone because the person who likes you doesn't need it and the person who doesn't like you won't believe it.
3- When you keep saying you are busy, then you are never free. When you keep saying you have no time, then you will never have time. When you keep saying that you will do it tomorrow, then your tomorrow will never come.
4 - When we wake up in the morning, we have just two simple choices. Go back to sleep and dream, or wake up and chase those dreams. The choice is yours!
5- We make them cry who care for us. We cry for those who never care for us. And we care for those who will never cry for us. This is the truth of life, it's strange but true. Once you realize this, it's never too late to change.
6- Don't make promises when you are in joy. Don't reply when you are sad. Don't take decision when you are angry. Think twice, act once!
7- Time is like river. You can't touch the same water twice because the flow that has passed will never pass again
April 30, 2016
14 SIMPLE GUIDES ON HOW PARENTS SHOULD TALK TO THEIR TEEN’S ABOUT SEXUAL ISSUES
We live in an era of creativity where human by our known nature are born to be adventurous and the ravishing embodiment that comes with it always triggers our senses and willful desire to embark in trying out new possibilities and all available options beyond our pivotal core limits. Our superficial intelligence and technological abilities to create a vivid imagination and reinvent new ideas to satisfy our needs has earned us a place as the most prolific creature on the face of the planet, and our search for new and intriguing ideas to fill in the emptiness we dread are never ending; opening a door to endless possibilities that sometimes turns deadly creating a shackle of despair in our society. This indicates that, if we do not tackle these deadly trends of online predatory acts that have become the order of our day; we are storing up problems for the future generations.
Ironically speaking, we live in a society where our actions are driven by the reflection of our thoughts. Faced with the dearth of socio-psychological and scientific findings about cyber sexual behaviors and how it’s been influenced by the media and our social environment, this infers that children will consequently be influenced and overshadowed by sex over the Internet in the same way as they have been influenced by violence in the media and social network sites. This however suggests that, virtual sex has begun to take new forms through internet chat rooms which cater for any sexual desire or need imaginable, from straight to gay, from bondage to bestiality, and from fetishes to incest. These chat rooms create havens that enable people to act upon fantasies they have kept bottled up making the internet a deadly ground for vulnerable teenagers who are spending countless amount of time streaming through societal network sites like Facebook, Twitter, dating sites etc to test new waters. To ensure their safety, here are few tips I have put together that parents can apply in educating their children about the deadly claws of online predators:
• Be straight and accurate with correct information at all time
• Create a more friendly environment to share views
• Acknowledge lust and desire are normal
• Teach strategies to manage sexual pressure
• Consider Teen’s point of view and keep the conversation mild and simple
• Be very careful when discussing such issues in relation to sex
• Share personal opinions and values that matters
• Avoid being critical or judgmental
• Teach them on how to deal with the emotional aspect of sex
• Discuss consequences and explain responsibilities that may arise
• Always create room for dialogue in very simplified terms
• Never jump into conclusion even when you are right
• Start addressing issues of sex early and often and,
• Establish a more positive and better rapport with your child at all time
Teenagers as we know are the most vulnerable in our society today and as such, it is our responsibility as parents to ensure that they are well-informed of the various ways and mannerism at which online predators adopt in carrying out their sinister ploy using different technics and gimmicks to tap into people’s lives and lure them into their web of lies that in no time becomes their worst nightmare. This will enable teenagers to prepare themselves against any unforeseen future challenges and thus, inhibit them from someone doing something that is out of the ordinary to them or expose them to any form of unforeseeable danger. For more information on the aforementioned, please visit http://www.amazon.com/Cybersex-Nightm...
Ironically speaking, we live in a society where our actions are driven by the reflection of our thoughts. Faced with the dearth of socio-psychological and scientific findings about cyber sexual behaviors and how it’s been influenced by the media and our social environment, this infers that children will consequently be influenced and overshadowed by sex over the Internet in the same way as they have been influenced by violence in the media and social network sites. This however suggests that, virtual sex has begun to take new forms through internet chat rooms which cater for any sexual desire or need imaginable, from straight to gay, from bondage to bestiality, and from fetishes to incest. These chat rooms create havens that enable people to act upon fantasies they have kept bottled up making the internet a deadly ground for vulnerable teenagers who are spending countless amount of time streaming through societal network sites like Facebook, Twitter, dating sites etc to test new waters. To ensure their safety, here are few tips I have put together that parents can apply in educating their children about the deadly claws of online predators:
• Be straight and accurate with correct information at all time
• Create a more friendly environment to share views
• Acknowledge lust and desire are normal
• Teach strategies to manage sexual pressure
• Consider Teen’s point of view and keep the conversation mild and simple
• Be very careful when discussing such issues in relation to sex
• Share personal opinions and values that matters
• Avoid being critical or judgmental
• Teach them on how to deal with the emotional aspect of sex
• Discuss consequences and explain responsibilities that may arise
• Always create room for dialogue in very simplified terms
• Never jump into conclusion even when you are right
• Start addressing issues of sex early and often and,
• Establish a more positive and better rapport with your child at all time
Teenagers as we know are the most vulnerable in our society today and as such, it is our responsibility as parents to ensure that they are well-informed of the various ways and mannerism at which online predators adopt in carrying out their sinister ploy using different technics and gimmicks to tap into people’s lives and lure them into their web of lies that in no time becomes their worst nightmare. This will enable teenagers to prepare themselves against any unforeseen future challenges and thus, inhibit them from someone doing something that is out of the ordinary to them or expose them to any form of unforeseeable danger. For more information on the aforementioned, please visit http://www.amazon.com/Cybersex-Nightm...
April 17, 2016
MOTHER REVEALS DETAILS OF HOW HER NAVY VETERAN HUSBAND SEXUALLY ABUSED HER TEEN DAUGHTER IN HEART-WRENCHING VIDEO.
Catherine St. Germain, 34, a mother-of-two from Loveland, Colorado, detailed a harrowing account in a Facebook video with more than 47.8 million views and shared 72,000 times of how her teenage daughter then 15-years was sexually abused by her husband she had known for more than 20-years.
Her idea behind sharing this video that went viral was to warn others about ‘the predators we trust with our kids every day’. Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/art...
Her idea behind sharing this video that went viral was to warn others about ‘the predators we trust with our kids every day’. Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/art...
April 12, 2016
10 FACTS THAT MAKES SEXUAL PREDATORS DEADLY
Never in history have sexual predators been given such an opportunity to communicate so freely and directly with children. The Internet and new avenues, such as social networking (e.g. Facebook, twitter, MySpace etc.), chat rooms, email, instant messaging, and forums provide a dangerous medium for sexual predators to conduct their conquests. The sexual predator will use preliminary contacts to evaluate a child for future face-to-face contact using certain parameters to apprehend their victims, which I refer to in my book as The Deadly Ten, otherwise known as TRICKSTERS an acronyms for;
T - Tortuous: A megalomaniac derives so much pleasure from exercising their domineering power by inflicting horrendous pains on others. In most cases the megalomaniac videotapes the ordeal, which gives them some form of authority, power, and satisfaction as they look straight into the eyes of their victims and watch them suffer, arousing their sexual sadism.
R – Ruthless: Predators have or show no pity or compassion for others and are usually very volatile. Also, they are likely to change suddenly and unexpectedly.
I – Invaders: They infringe on one’s privacy and never take no for an answer. They just keep pushing forward with hostile intent and eventually start to prey on or stalk their victims, using every single possibility at their disposal.
C – Cons: There are people in this world who when given any little opportunity will use every single trick in the book to play you, manipulate you, and trick you into submitting to their demands. Even when they know you are not buying it they just keep trying. They are very smart, intelligent, and pathological liars.
K - Killers: Most psychopathic predators do not value life. They lack empathy for anyone and derive so much pleasure from watching their victims die because it gives them the high that they crave.
S – Sadists: These are people (lunatics) who generally obtain pleasure from inflicting pain, cruelty, or emotional abuse on others, which gives them sexual gratification and a sense of power.
T – Troubled: These people exhibit emotional or behavioral problems, which can be traced back to their childhood. Some were abused sexually by their own parents, or witnessed their parents fighting with each other, making an uncomfortable environment in which to raise a child. As such, they grow up feeling miserable, and a miserable childhood can render such children deadly.
E – Exploiters: Predators will unethically use every little opportunity to their own advantage or to selfishly get what they want, even to the detriment of others.
R – Reckless: Predators are never calm people. They always use different strategies without thinking or caring about the consequences of their actions.
S – Smart: Predators are usually lively and interesting people who will use their charm to hone in on innocent victims and lure them into their web. They are mostly well-respected in their fields of specialization and are always up-to-date with the latest information. Their intelligence gives them the ability to stay one step ahead of the game and in most cases remain undetected.
As we know, children are inexperienced and can be naïve, and being anonymous on the Internet tends to make children even more open and trustworthy. In addition, children tend to be curious about sexuality and sexually explicit material. During a period of life when children begin to build relationships outside of their families, sexual predators take advantage of their anonymity to build relationships with the inexperienced youth. Given a workable environment, sexual predators will get to know the child and then slowly ease the young person’s inhibitions by gradually introducing sexual content into their conversations. In some cases though, the predators use a “shotgun” approach and quickly introduce sexually explicit materials to see if the victim bites (and if the victim does not, they will quickly move to the next prey). In many cases, the predator will work toward meeting the child in person which is very eminent in our society today. Cut short, if you feel that something may be going on or someone is grooming your kids for seduction, you have to rise above the waters and do something about it by educating our children about the danger of the internet because knowledge, they say, is power. Make them understand that there are people in this world who do not have their best interest at heart and are just reaching out to them only to destroy them.
To learn more facts on how to protect your child and loved ones against the deadly plot of sexual predators grab a copy of my book CYBERSEX – A NIGHTMARE OF THE 21ST CENTURY. Available on http://www.amazon.com/Cybersex-Nightm...
T - Tortuous: A megalomaniac derives so much pleasure from exercising their domineering power by inflicting horrendous pains on others. In most cases the megalomaniac videotapes the ordeal, which gives them some form of authority, power, and satisfaction as they look straight into the eyes of their victims and watch them suffer, arousing their sexual sadism.
R – Ruthless: Predators have or show no pity or compassion for others and are usually very volatile. Also, they are likely to change suddenly and unexpectedly.
I – Invaders: They infringe on one’s privacy and never take no for an answer. They just keep pushing forward with hostile intent and eventually start to prey on or stalk their victims, using every single possibility at their disposal.
C – Cons: There are people in this world who when given any little opportunity will use every single trick in the book to play you, manipulate you, and trick you into submitting to their demands. Even when they know you are not buying it they just keep trying. They are very smart, intelligent, and pathological liars.
K - Killers: Most psychopathic predators do not value life. They lack empathy for anyone and derive so much pleasure from watching their victims die because it gives them the high that they crave.
S – Sadists: These are people (lunatics) who generally obtain pleasure from inflicting pain, cruelty, or emotional abuse on others, which gives them sexual gratification and a sense of power.
T – Troubled: These people exhibit emotional or behavioral problems, which can be traced back to their childhood. Some were abused sexually by their own parents, or witnessed their parents fighting with each other, making an uncomfortable environment in which to raise a child. As such, they grow up feeling miserable, and a miserable childhood can render such children deadly.
E – Exploiters: Predators will unethically use every little opportunity to their own advantage or to selfishly get what they want, even to the detriment of others.
R – Reckless: Predators are never calm people. They always use different strategies without thinking or caring about the consequences of their actions.
S – Smart: Predators are usually lively and interesting people who will use their charm to hone in on innocent victims and lure them into their web. They are mostly well-respected in their fields of specialization and are always up-to-date with the latest information. Their intelligence gives them the ability to stay one step ahead of the game and in most cases remain undetected.
As we know, children are inexperienced and can be naïve, and being anonymous on the Internet tends to make children even more open and trustworthy. In addition, children tend to be curious about sexuality and sexually explicit material. During a period of life when children begin to build relationships outside of their families, sexual predators take advantage of their anonymity to build relationships with the inexperienced youth. Given a workable environment, sexual predators will get to know the child and then slowly ease the young person’s inhibitions by gradually introducing sexual content into their conversations. In some cases though, the predators use a “shotgun” approach and quickly introduce sexually explicit materials to see if the victim bites (and if the victim does not, they will quickly move to the next prey). In many cases, the predator will work toward meeting the child in person which is very eminent in our society today. Cut short, if you feel that something may be going on or someone is grooming your kids for seduction, you have to rise above the waters and do something about it by educating our children about the danger of the internet because knowledge, they say, is power. Make them understand that there are people in this world who do not have their best interest at heart and are just reaching out to them only to destroy them.
To learn more facts on how to protect your child and loved ones against the deadly plot of sexual predators grab a copy of my book CYBERSEX – A NIGHTMARE OF THE 21ST CENTURY. Available on http://www.amazon.com/Cybersex-Nightm...
