M.P. Sharma's Blog, page 12

Grannies can be mean, lean, killing machines

As some of you may know, my maternal grandparents are over from India for the holidays and my grandma or Nanima (in Hindi) in particular, is absolutely bonkers over swimming.

We take her out every morning with my grandad (or Nana in Hindi) and man, let me just say, I can attest to never ever having seen a more fierce, bullying squad of grannies than what I have recently come to term as “The Nanna Nuts”.

I am not joking. If I thought high school was bad, even the biyatches there would have a hard time dealing with these grandmas.

They kick, they scowl, they will literally rip you apart if you so much as meander into their “private” swimming lanes no matter how much you attempt to calmly explain the concept of a public pool.

Give me my Beverly Hills biytaches any day, they’re a walk in the park compared to these nannies!

So, I’ve heard that singing to dogs makes them stop barki...

So, I’ve heard that singing to dogs makes them stop barking which is something I really need at the moment.

No jokes, my neighbour’s dogs are barking so much, I’m actually starting to dream in dog. -_-

But … turns out the philosophy actually makes anyone who decides to give it a try appear to be stark raving��bonkers (which I wouldn’t normally care about because you know, just another day in my life) but it doesn’t work either. Wtf?

The barking only intensified (though it was more like a torturous wailing) but I’m not taking it personally. I mean, I’m sure dogs get Mondayitis too and I’m right there with them.

Happy Monday my lovelies :)

Nerds Rule … Just Saying

Seriously, we so do.

I’m a Nerd and I’m proud of it because …

1 – I have mad library monitor skills. No friends at the beginning of high school meant that I spent my lunchtime stuck in a library learning how to catalogue. Now I get half my earnings from bets I’ve won against those who swear I could never EVER find a book that went missing in the state library a generation ago. Boo-ya :D

2 – Being a nerd meant I wasn’t afraid of introducing my “imaginary” (I only put inverted commas around that word because I still have a hard time really, truly believing they’re imaginary but hey, it’s what gets me around this insane world without a straightjacket) friends Gumpy, Lulu and a recent addition – Da Bozter. Frolicking with them freely only facilitated a freedom to explore the world I had so aptly created in my cranium without prejudice and snickered induced stares. Who am I kidding? I still got all that crap, I just didn’t care because what could possibly be worst than being called a “Nerd” (now those inverted commas are supposed to be sarcastic).

3 – And this is the best one yet. I explored music, drama and the literary arts without the imprisoned barrier of “Coolness”. Which meant I got to party with all the great talents out there without the fear of being restricted to what was “in” with the crowd which leads me to one of the best things I did over the holidays – Shakespeare!!! Sport for Jove is this seriously wondrous event that happens in my quaint, little��neighbourhood every summer and man is it AWESOME. I mean what could be better than Shakespeare in the great Aussie summer outdoors (even when it is pouring cats and dogs), right? Nothing, that’s what. This year it was A Midsummer Night’s Dream and The Crucible, in one word – A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!

So to all those Nerds out there, fist bump coz we rock …��and you know, fist bumping is kinda cool (in a nerdy way of course!) and to all those who think we’re off, well we may be … but we’re proud of it!

Hellllooooooooo!!!!

So, what have my wonderful fellow bloggers been up to while I’ve been away? Let me guess, Nobel Peace Prizes, World Records on who snores the loudest, Discovering far off lands?

Damn, I knew I’d missed stuff.

In all honesty, I did a little bit of discovering myself … nothing as amazing as your feats naturally, but I am proud to announce that I finally found out your television can shut off in silent protest after being cruelly exploited, that your ass CAN get exhausted from sitting too much on it and that, are you ready, drum roll please.

Just because I swear the clouds I’ve been staring at for countless hours on an end are cryptically messaging me, psychiatrists won’t automatically assume this to be true, no matter what undeniable proof I have. Let’s just say the lucky escape I had from the loony bin over the festive season was largely due to the record breaking Santa Claus visions my neighbourhood was encountering. Apparently, bed space was tight and my story just didn’t make the cut. It was my publishing ordeal deja-vu experience all over again.

Anyway, enough about me. I want to hear all about your “I’m famous now” stories pronto. Please. So glad to be back! Pretend you are too, okay.

:)

Hi my lovelies! For all of those wonderful people enquiri...

Hi my lovelies! For all of those wonderful people enquiring whether I am alive or not, I can attest to still having a heart beat, a junk food fuelled one! ;)

I will be back soon and hope to follow some great new bloggers!

Oh, and as��a sidebar, John … I LOVE you. Please don’t get a restraining order out just yet – I am referring to this :P

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

I’m going to be going offline for a while, probably until February. As some of you may have caught on (basically because I never shut up about it :P ) my summer holidays are unofficially about to commence tomorrow.

As a sidebar – YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Ahem, now that that’s out! I would just like to take this time to thank you ALL from the very bottom of my heart for your extremely valued support and feedback throughout this (at the moment) short journey I started on back in April. Had I even had an inkling about the amazingly talented and wonderful people I have met throughout this journey (so far), I so would have started eons ago!

I really do hope that you’ll stick it out with me and that I see all of you as well as some new faces in 2015.

Have a GREAT, AMAZING and most importantly SAFE festive season with your loved ones and those lucky enough to have been chosen by you to be part of your life.

I will see you all bright eyed, and bushy tailed in 2015! Unless I am really bored at which time I will have to cut your vacation from my usual ramblings short – just a little bit of an advance warning ;)

Image taken from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/paloetic/

My Telepathy Endeavours …

So, as it’s the infamous Hump Day today, my mind is (naturally) wandering about 90% of the time.

I thought I’d try my hand at the telepathic prowess we all supposedly harbour with the bird sitting on my ledge. After five minutes of trying to say hello through my supposedly magnificent brain nerves, the parrot came and left a nice “present” on the window pane of my office.

I can either take this as:

1. Mr/Miss (because I’m not promoting gender bias here) heard me and gave me his/her version of a greeting,

2. I need to work on my telepathic skills and his/her present has absolutely nothing to do with me on a personal level …

Hmm, what do you think?

I’m thinking the FBI should recruit me …

… due to my amazing Crime solving capabilities of course. I participated in a marathon of Crime television shows over the weekend courtesy that superbly, tantalising BBC Crime channel and now I believe I am fully equipped to deal with any criminal activity I am faced with to solve.

Australian Federal Police, I hope you’re listening, potential Pink Panther Inspector Clouseau in your vicinity. Sherlock Holmes, eat your heart out! :P

It’s a Conspiracy!

I swear the Weekend did NOT just happen, I am positive Friday just fell into Monday and everyone forgot to tell me about it. Have a motivational Monday everyone and if you have some to spare, remember to pass some on, okay? :)

I’ll Dance If I Want To!

I’m going to crank the music up and dance like no one’s watching because I feel like and it’s a Friday. If anyone does watch, past experience suggests that they may be blinded. You have been adequately warned :P

Seeing as I seem to have had a crush on the word “wonderful” this whole week, I’m going to stick with the love alongside a pinch of what I like to call Mituri sparkle added, so …

Have a superb weekend full of wonderful wonder my peeps :)