C.C. Solomon's Blog, page 21

News Alert: TV isn't real

Yes, I know everyone knows that (she says in her Gieco commercial voice) but I wanted to focus on something that I see in TV and movies that's been bugging the heck out of me. It is the mundane but it's the mundane that just doesn't happen in my world. Let me explain.


In TV it's light out when the characters wake up. Birds are chirping. Sun is brightly shining. Unless I wake up at 8am or its spring/summer, it's usually dark. In my world, especially now, its like night out when I get up. No birds are a chirpin. Now unless we are to believe that all TV is set in the spring and summer, I get annoyed when I see these allegedly busy characters wake up late enough the sun is out. And even with the light out when I wake up, I still have blinds to keep the light at bay (and pervs), do people in movies not sleep with blinds? Exhibitionist...


Which leads me to my second point. These busy people in TV shows have time to workout and visit with friends all before they get to work (and its light out). Now I know many people who workout before work but again, its not light out right now. And most folk don't have time to visit with friends for coffee or chit chat (unless they are blue toothing it in the car) before getting to work between the hours of 8-9. The average start times for work. Who are these people? How are you a lawyer or doctor or news reporter (hint hint Being Mary Jane) and have children and also have time to visit your friend down the street before going to work. With it being light outside? Where they do that at?


Perfect hair. I love me some Olivia Pope, but with her job schedule how does she have time to have hair like that? I've seen other shows too, especially with the loose curls. Seriously, Dr. So and So, you have time to get up in the morning and wave your hair before going into the ER? Get outta here.

I know some of this is for the sake of the show/movie but er, uh, what's the deal with coming over unannounced and talking about things that can be discussed over the phone? In my life, I don't visit with my friends all the time. Specifically not on a random Monday night. This is also because my friends don't live super close. I mean an occasional Game of Thrones or Scandal watch party might happen but it's not the usual. And my friends have lives, they are too busy to always stop by unannounced and that would bug me anyway unless its an emergency (a gal likes to put a face mask and some hair curlers on from time to time). This ain't Friends or Seinfeld.


Lunch dates/meetups. Unless I work in the same office as my friends or within walking distance, I'm not meeting my gal pals for lunch during the work week. By the time we get to each other and back lunch is over. We'd have to flex out of work and make up the extra time. So not worth it. I'll catch ya'll at happy hour. Same goes to dudes who ask to meet for lunch. I rarely even take a lunch break, c'mon. Let's do dinner, sir.

Just my soapbox statement for the day.

Frequent Flyers

Not a surprise that a blogger is a big blog follower. And instagram and Pinterest follower. Not only that, but I am a huge magazine reader and fancy myself a stylish kind of girl. As such, I am always looking for new sites to get tips on everything from makeup, clothes, hair, books, exercise and food. Here are my top sites (be they blogs, youtube videos or magazines) put in categories.

Great Hair sites

www.moknowshair.com- natural hair expert with the best curls I've eva seen. Hair crush for sure and she is very knowledgeable about curly hair
www.curlynikki.com- she's the staple for anyone who is natural
www.naturallycurly.com- great information about natural hair and you can purchase hair products through them with reviews
www.hairsisters.com- great site to purchase wigs, weaves, instaweaves etc at all price points
www.elevatestyles.com- another great site to find wigs and such
Youtube- naptural85- she is also on instagram. She is another one of my curl crushes for natural hair.

Fashion/Makeup

www.peoplestylewatch.com - I love this magazine. You find great style ideas at all price points. I also follow them on instagram
www.amazon.com- best site ever to find everything. I buy clothes, books, electronics, hair (yes I do) and the delivery is quick and simple
Destiny Godley- you tube- great make up tips
Motives Cosmetics- instagram- another great make up site
www.girlwithcurves.com- this curvy girl rocks some serious fashion. you don't have to be plus sized to follow her. She really just shows a great array of styles for any size girl with curves.
MooreBeautyLove- instagram- great hair and makeup styles

Food

www.allrecipies.com- when I do feel like cooking, this is a site I frequent for ideas
Pinterest- great site to find recipes

To do/Travel

www.yelp.com- I literally use this site as a go to for travels all over the world to find places to eat, shop and party
www.tripadvisor.com- This is my basic go to for making any trip arrangements.
www.thrilllist.com- great site to find the cool things to do in major cities

If you know of any good sites in these categories please share with a gal!

Hollywood and interracial dating

Soo I recently read a post about Lupita Nyong'o possibly dating Jared Leto. I get nervous when I see articles that could incite ignorance in the comment section but to my pleasant surprise most people seemed really excited about this idea.  I mean who doesn't love Lupita and Jared (Jordan Catolano, sigh) (side note: can you believe he is 42?!).

So anyway, I'm reading the comments and everything is cool except for one dude who rants about how Hollywood women of color. He states that as soon as they make it big, they get paired up with white men. This led to an online conversation that I did not get into but it made me think. I don't think this is true of all famous black women but I can see why he believed that . However, can't the same be said of famous black men (I mean how many can you name, under the age of 45 who are with black women?).  So, to play devil's advocate with myself, I wondered, does Hollywood push people of color to date white if they make it big (assuming the celebrity is single of course)? And how does this alleged push happen?

Personally, I don't think its Hollywood trying to "white wash" or assimilate these actors. I think its a very limited community and if you are a person of color who gets famous before you get married its not as simple to encounter other people of color who are at/near/ or can appreciate your level/art. We have those who met after fame (B and Jay, Courtney B. Vance and Angela Basset , Will and Jada) but it gets harder after that. I try to hold judgment and not assume that all of the famous black people I see with white partners are doing it because they've "made it big". It's way too many to assume that it's a preference or part of a Hollywood package. I think we date our environment. It speaks more to the lack of diversity in Hollywood than anything. For the sake of my sanity, it's better to believe that interracial dating in Hollywood or anywhere, is more about happenstance and less about seeking a trophy in the form of white skin.

Scandal v. BMJ: Why do I root for one and not another?

Okay I am a big Scandal and Being Mary Jane fan but I have to admit, I pull more for Olivia over Mary Jane. Why? Yes, they are both smart, successful, independent women who are...side chicks. So technically I should dislike them both. But I never hated Olivia like I tend to hate Mary Jane. Admittedly, Mary Jane redeemed herself by the end of the first season but honestly before that I gave her several side eyes and eye rolls. I tell my friends this and they don't understand why the double standard so I had to think on it and here is my reasoning:
Scandal gives me side plots that help me take the focus off the foolishness of the affair.
Scandal has a Jake. Yes, I am team Jake. I just don't care for Fitz, just as I didn't care for Mary Jane's married Boo. These men are not sympathetic. So if there is a good guy who can stir the side chick right then I'm for it. I thought Mary Jane had one but turns out he got himself a new girl so maybe next season.
The wife. So regardless of her personality, I still respect the wife on Scandal because that is what she is: the wife. She may be unlikeable but she was done dirty. However, Scandal still makes Olivia sympathetic because it really showcases the back story for both women and their understanding of the situation. In Being Mary Jane, I just didn't hate the wife. She seemed okay and was wronged for no reason. She didn't seem evil or conniving which made Mary Jane more of a home wreaker.
Mary Jane didn't seem really sorry for her actions. In Scandal, Olivia often pushed Fitz away and encouraged his marriage to his wife. Mary Jane tried to humiliate the wife. Not cool.
Olivia just seems so much more caring. She stands behind her "gladiators" and will help them no matter what (I mean she is still trying to look out for the backstabbing Quinn). Mary Jane helps others but she fuses all the way. Either help your family or leave them alone. And how she accused her friend of telling her secret without any proof- not cool. All in all, the side chick foolishness is not cool but if I have to pull for someone, I must get some redeemable characteristics that make me want to pull for the person. I'm still iffy on Ms. Mary Jane. But that's just me, I like some kindness in my side chicks!

The Set Up

The Snow’s a commin! The Snow’s a commin ! But what does that mean? Knocking on wood and all that, I am blessed that I don’t live in an area where snow storms can shut the city down for a week. Yet time and time again if the weather man (who I am convinced has a side deal with the grocery stores) says snow is a commin we jet to Safeway like it’s the zombie apocalypse. Lines zig-zag through the store like they are giving away something free. Why do we give in? Why do I think I must prepare for battle when a few flurries are threatened? So it was a nightmare last night at the grocery store. While standing in line I began to wonder why we always flock to the store when a winter storm is a commin. I mean do we think we are going to be stranded in the house and can’t get out to get food for days? Did we not have enough food before we went to the store to keep us for a day or two because that’s usually how long we are going to be stuck inside (not mentioning that we can always order because somehow Pizza hut can always deliver along with that good guy mailman/woman). I saw people buying food like they were going to be stuck inside for at least a week or more. So now you are inside with a bunch of food the day before Valentine’s day (or as we singles call it – Friday) so you’ll want to go out and buy more crap (either at happy hour or a restaurant). Thus wasting all that money you spent stockpiling for the revolution. *Scratches my head* I don’t get it. Yet, I’m still nervous about the idea of not going to the store when snow is threatened. Also side note: Why must people make sure they get bread, milk, and toilet paper when snow is a commin? Are they going to eat more cereal or bake more during the storm? They going to eat more sandwiches? And are people expecting to take more dumps when they are snowed in? I get it if you have kids, especially small ones, because they can be eating and pooping machines (cute ones nonetheless) but for the rest of us? As my dad put it, the new staples should be croissants (or cinnamon rolls), chocolates and wine… That’s the kind of luxury eating/drinking you want to do when you get a snow day on a work day! So in my mind liquor stores should be getting more business when the snow is a commin. I’m just saying…

It's coming along

Finally have a set book description. Edited and peer/family reviewed, I think this sets up what The Mission (my first romantic/comedy/chick lit fiction book) is all about! Look for it as an ebook (with limited print release for now) on March 21, 2014.

The Mission
Rule #6: Be mysterious, but always approachable…keep him wanting more!Rule #11: Always remember, no sex in the beginning. Make him wait!Rule #19: You’ve got to give a little to get a little. Be giving of yourself, and it will make a lasting impression to keep your Mr. Right.
Sheila and Denise are successful, funny and attractive, but very single women. Not that being single is horrible; but when Denise is hassled to have a date to an old friend’s wedding-of-the-century, and Shelia needs an escort to an industry banquet where everyone who’s anyone will be in attendance, being single loses its perks. To add to the dilemma, Sheila tells a little white lie to her workplace nemesis about dating a successful music producer, which explodes into a career-threatening rumor. Under extreme pressure from family, friends and coworkers, they resort to making a pact. Their Mission: Get A Man in Three Months. They will use “proven” rules to finding their Mr. Rights. Rules that worked for a friend of a friend …how hard could it be?
Join them in their hilarious, and sometimes heartbreaking adventures as chapter by chapter they follow a new rule, and delve into the treacherous world of Washington, D.C. dating. The gal pals suffer through speed dating (Sam Needs-a-Bath). They allow themselves to be set up on blind dates (Bitter Crying Kevin). They try a dating service (Apron-Strings Adrian). They try the bar scene (Smoky the Bear who smokes more than cigars). They even meet men in the beauty salon (Javier Not Quite Straight). And there’s more, much more. Surrounded by family drama, workplace stressors and their own hang-ups about love, will the rules actually help them find their Mr. Rights in time for their events?
 

Yeamon

Just got back from an awesome trip to Negril, Jamaica and want to live there now LOL. Here's my quick recap, hope it helps if you ever want to check out that beautiful place.

When I usually give trip recaps I break it down by day but to be honest when you go to Negril you don't go to do a whole bunch of activities. You go to relax and that is exactly what I did. But there are some places and tips I thought would be good to share.

Arrival

We arrived in Montego Bay airport and had a car service take us the 75-90 minute drive to Negril. I say 75-90 minutes because it all depends on how fast the driver drives. It took us 90 minutes to get to Negril but about 75 minutes to get back. We used https://montegobayairporttonegril.com/ and they were fabulous. Had a sign waiting for us at the airport and had cold drinks for us to sip during the drive (I chose Red Stripe- when in Rome...). We got round trip service and it was about $130 total for the round trip which my sis and I split. We tipped about 20%.

One thing to note about tipping, in most places there is a regular tax and then a service charge. The service charge (10%) isn't necessarily a tip for the waitress but for the staff (like maintenance and cleaners) so we tipped above it.

Negril is a lovely town but its not as developed. If you are looking for sidewalks and real shopping then Montego Bay is your better bet. But I loved the quaintness of Negril and the people were very friendly despite the lack of luxury (which you can get if you go on a resort) and hey, you are on a beach with warm weather- that's luxury in itself.

Lodging

We choose to stay in a hotel instead of an all inclusive resort. I preferred to mix and mingle with people who aren't just tourist (or couples) and not be stuck with the food and drink that a resort offers. We stayed at Sandy Haven Boutique Hotel which I loved. There weren't any kids and it was a good mix of couples and singles. It was updated, the staff was friendly and helpful, they offered a free continental breakfast, there was a pool (which we didn't use) and spa services, a restaurant, bar/grill, the beach part didn't allow vendors on the property so they couldn't hassle you. There was free wifi, cable, A/C and ipod plug in to jam to some music as you get ready for the night. There was also a gym.They were strict about who could be on the property and knew faces which helps with safety concerns. 




A note on safety: there are volunteers who survey the beach and call in police if things are looking suspect. They wear uniforms and I appreciated their presence. Jamaica is big on tourism for their economy and preventing crime is a big concern for them. They warned my sister often not to walk the beach at night.

Nightlife/Travel

The location of our hotel was great so we walked for the most part to wherever we went (on the street with no sidewalks so walk in the direction that the cars head towards you so you can see what's going on). The cab drivers are hustlers and will stop and wait for you even if you don't ask them to, just shake your head and they get it and go on. Most travel along the beach shouldn't cost you more than $5 (they do accept US dollars). Come with exact change because sometimes vendors or drivers don't have any change (or so they say) so if all you have is a twenty and the ride was $5 well you just gave him a nice tip!

As to nightlife, it's a beach town so to me the best time is chilling on the spots on the beach. We arrived on a Wednesday and it was pretty quiet. Things didn't liven up until Thursday (we went to the Jungle on a Thursday for ladies night which was "eh" but it seemed busier on a Saturday) but the best nights are Friday and Saturday.  On Friday the popular options are Margaritaville or Alfreds. We choose Alfreds and had an awesome time. Saturday is supposed to be good for The Jungle or Bamboo, we didn't do either and just were low key at the beach bars.


Food

I'm sure I didn't go everywhere I could have gone to eat and wish I paid more attention to planning out food options. I loved the food at a local spot called Janette's Delish Delights (best pina colada EVER). Margaritaville food was eh. Had breakfast at Alfreds- good. Had some jerk
chicken at a place that I saw a lot of locals and tourist at across the street from my hotel. Pretty good. Also had jerk at a spot (literally) in front of the Jungle recommended by a local, even better. Make friends with some locals to get the real deal on where to eat. I stayed on the beach to eat but I'm sure there were many great places to eat especially in the town area and near Rick's Café on the West End.

Sights

Our hotel was good about giving us options of things to do. Water activities are of course the biggest options but I've done a lot of those types of things so we were looking for something different. We choose to go horseback riding. We went to a ranch and did a two mile trek to a beach where we went into the water with the horses. What an awesome experience. I felt like a cowboy!

Also check out Ricks Café to watch the sunset (amazing) or cliff dive (if you dare, I didn't) or eat/drink and listen to the live band. We went on a Friday around 5pm which was a great time to go and mix and mingle. My sister and I must have been looking fierce because when we walked past two local girls one whispered "we got competition" and they left.  Maybe they were prostitutes... DID THEY THINK WE WERE PROSTITUES! Anyway, fun time.


The ride to Ricks cost us $10 round trip. Don't pay more. You might get offers to take a boat there which could be fun, the best deal we were offered was for $20.

I didn't get to do anything else but check out the Falls or do a day trip to Montego bay or Appleton Rum tour. I plan to next time.

Outside of that, the beach was the sight for me. Amazing water that I want to paint to really capture, neat beach, warm people and fun little jewelry and services etc. to buy (remember to barter but don't be stingy).

All in all, a great time, I want to go back!

Let the Haters Be My Motivators

Random posting that I've had on my mind for a while and will try to condense to a few paragraphs:

I have a difficult time with people who are jerks. It puts me in a foul mood, which affects my spirit and physical well being. In the end the jerks are living life just fine and I'm the one sitting in a corner burning mad. Since there are a lot of jerks out there one can be in a corner full of rage many times in their life. We can try to avoid this by telling people not to be jerks, pray that they won't be jerks or just run from jerks. Yet we aren't always that lucky.

So ten gained pounds, hair shedding, high blood pressure later, I am slowly but surely coming to the realization that jerks are people too. People who may have a different set of values and who I unfairly put certain expectations on with the hope that they think just like I do. Which is pure foolishness.

Instead, I am, as part of the new year- new me thang, focusing on what I can do to not let the jerks get to me. Is it mean to back stab, name call, treat people unfairly or rudely? Yes. But are people purely one sided evil? I refuse to think so. Every bully or mean girl has a good side or a hurt side prompting them to act out. Every harassing boss has a stressor that you may not know about (perhaps their own harassing boss). So I have decided to follow these steps I have gathered from various sources to reduce my anger at so-called jerks and live a more emotionally healthy life. This is no easy task but one worth it:

Walk it out- studies show that stress and anger can be reduced with just a ten minute walk. I like exercise, I can walk.Think of the flip side- this is my down fall. I am quick to think the negative of someone's motives. Those negatives may exist but why not think about another reason for an action being taken. Did they really bark at you because they hate you or did they yell because they just received some stressful news? Thinking higher of people may not change the situation but it will give you less heart burn.Stop binge thinking- I can think about an incident so intensely and for so long that I can't get anything else done, including sleep. I read that it might be helpful to reserve thinking about an upsetting thing to only thirty minutes. Maybe have a set time, say 730pm. So if this thought creeps up at 9am shut it down and remind yourself you can think about it at 730.Always think of another point of view and try to come to an agreement. If someone does or says something you don't like try to see the situation from their point of view, it might tone down the heat of your anger. Also try to find something in the other point that you do agree on and capitalize on it. Focus on other people's problems. When you feel like wallowing in self pity, help someone else out. It might put things in perspective for you and your problems might actually go away.Listen to music. If all else fails, drown out the jerk with some music. Make your environment peaceful and remove yourself from the negative source. If you can't escape maybe have a mantra running in your head. I watched RuPaul's Drag Race and one of the contestants, while the queens were being critiqued by the judges, would whisper "water off a ducks back". She always displayed a positive attitude and she won!Write a list of things you want to accomplish. Fill up your schedule with things you like to do and goals you want fulfill. Too much down time gives you too much time to focus on the negatives. You want better things to do. Also if these negative events have no baring on whether you can reach you goal they aren't worth your energy fussing about.By following these tips, you might lose weight, pick up a hobby and help someone need. Sounds better than letting stress and anger get the best of you. So breathe deep, let it go, live your life

OOOH I WANNA SEE

I'm such a movie nerd and when it comes to action, fantasy and horror I get pumped. I say that to simply say I am excited to see these movies in 2014:
Expendables 3 (they brought in Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Antonio Bandaras and Wesley Snipes-  going to be a lot of cornball/one-liners and I love it!),










Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (I actually liked the first revisioning, sadly my James Franco will not be in it)












Jupiter Rising (no idea what it's about, just looks cool and the Warchoski sibs (did you know that one is now a woman?) always know how to make a visually stunning movie)










Maleficent (Angelina Jolie as one of Disney’s scariest villains (at least to me as a child) in a “darker” version of Sleeping Beauty- yes please)










Transcendence (sci-fi tale starting Johnny Depp who always entertains me and it’s got Morgan Freeman so I’m game)










Xmen- Days of Future Past- All the Xmen who survived the first trilogy and the First Class prequel movie AND future Xmen (if you used to watch the cartoon or read the comics you know this story line) - I’m there even if I have to go alone (still trying to get to the New Hobbit movie on my own)







I'm ready!!!

Don't Worry Be Happy

With the weather making me feel like a bear hibernating in the winter,
some pick me up music is just what this girl needs. When I look at the dreary weather and cold temperatures, having a good song gets me moving indoors and since I'm trying to decrease my stress and weight this is what I need. So imagine my happiness when I realized that it seems that mainstream is picking up on songs that don't just talking about sex and violence. In the vain of Bobby McFerrin's Don't Worry be Happy, Queen's Don't Stop Me Now (man I love me some Queen, hope they do the BioPic well) and James Browns I Feel Good, here are my go to dance by myself or sing out in my car songs that just make me well... Happy!

Pharrell- Happy- Since this was features in Despicable Me 2, a cartoon, you figure it has to be upbeat.

American Authors- Best Day of My LifeAloe Blacc- I’m the Man (song is even played in commercial of a man (an athlete) hearing it played in his headsets as he passes people who boo him but he can’t hear them though)Beyonce- Grown Woman, whether you like her new album or not, I'm sorry this song gets me going, especially the African inspired beat

Sara Bareilles- Brave, I've always been a huge fan of this artist so when I heard the song and saw the cute video I immediately latched on to it and the positive message Enjoy and dance and sing!