Chris Rodell's Blog, page 91
December 2, 2014
Tweets of the (last) month
Every time I think I’m about out of tweets I look back and see a bunch that are pretty decent. And there are still bursts of wit. Remember, I don’t just tweet links, contests, etc. Nothing but pure tweets at @8days2Amish. Hope you enjoy ‘em.
• I wonder if pigs have hamstrings.
• I like to ask people who declare, “As God is my witness!” if they ask Him to say, “so help me Me,” when
• I wonder if pigs have hamstrings.
• I like to ask people who declare, “As God is my witness!” if they ask Him to say, “so help me Me,” when
December 1, 2014
It was a very zombie Thanksgiving
(693 words)
Do zombies ever feel a Thanksgiving bloat like the one I felt?
“I can’t take one more bite!”
Zombies are either walking around looking for something to eat or engaged in actual eating.
That was me the last four days. The only difference with me was I at least watched a little football. While I was gorging, of course.
I wonder if it was a coincidence AMC’s acclaimed
Do zombies ever feel a Thanksgiving bloat like the one I felt?
“I can’t take one more bite!”
Zombies are either walking around looking for something to eat or engaged in actual eating.
That was me the last four days. The only difference with me was I at least watched a little football. While I was gorging, of course.
I wonder if it was a coincidence AMC’s acclaimed
November 28, 2014
Parade aftermath: what happens to all the helium?
(649 words)
The only way I could enjoy the Macy’s Day Parade more is if they’d broadcast the Day-After Macy’s Day Parade.
I’d like to see what happens to all that helium.
Helium is probably my second favorite gas behind, of course, “Jumping Jack Flash.”
After all, helium’s a gas, but “Jumping Jack Flash” is a gas, gas . . . er . . . uh . . .
Sorry. I forgot how the rest of it
The only way I could enjoy the Macy’s Day Parade more is if they’d broadcast the Day-After Macy’s Day Parade.
I’d like to see what happens to all that helium.
Helium is probably my second favorite gas behind, of course, “Jumping Jack Flash.”
After all, helium’s a gas, but “Jumping Jack Flash” is a gas, gas . . . er . . . uh . . .
Sorry. I forgot how the rest of it
November 26, 2014
Friendship, The Boss & Thanksgiving drunk dialing
(702 words)
It dawned on me a long time ago that parking at my funeral is going to be a real challenge.
I’ve always had a lot of really great friends. We laugh, joke and drink and just have a non-stop ball whenever we’re together. It’s been that way with me since kindergarten.
I was thinking about this late the other night when I was in my office unwinding with a beer and the tunes
It dawned on me a long time ago that parking at my funeral is going to be a real challenge.
I’ve always had a lot of really great friends. We laugh, joke and drink and just have a non-stop ball whenever we’re together. It’s been that way with me since kindergarten.
I was thinking about this late the other night when I was in my office unwinding with a beer and the tunes
November 25, 2014
Randoms on Ferguson, race & Three Dog Night
I played “Black and White” by Three Dog Night as soon as I got to my office today. It’s a good song, by a band that really doesn’t get their due as far as being tuneful craftsmen.
The song reached No. 1 in 1972 when many euphorically believed we were on the verge of an era when race no longer mattered.
It was written, I learned, in 1954 by David I. Arkin and Earl Robinson to commemorate
The song reached No. 1 in 1972 when many euphorically believed we were on the verge of an era when race no longer mattered.
It was written, I learned, in 1954 by David I. Arkin and Earl Robinson to commemorate
November 24, 2014
Doc says I'm "high" on triglycerides
(694 words)
Four days before I didn’t know I had any triglycerides and now I was fearful I had so many they were going to kill me.
I learned this from the nurse tech that called to inform me of the results of my blood work.
“Your sugars are normal, cholesterol’s fine, but your triglycerides are high. They’re 159.”
What she couldn’t tell from my blood work was that I’m a novice
Four days before I didn’t know I had any triglycerides and now I was fearful I had so many they were going to kill me.
I learned this from the nurse tech that called to inform me of the results of my blood work.
“Your sugars are normal, cholesterol’s fine, but your triglycerides are high. They’re 159.”
What she couldn’t tell from my blood work was that I’m a novice
November 21, 2014
Renaming snow-bound Buffalo (and other cities)
(886 words)
I think in the interest of accuracy it’s time we rename Buffalo. Let’s call it Uninhabitable, New York.
The last few days prove humans aren’t meant to live in Buffalo.
Heck, buffalo aren’t meant to live in Buffalo.
The only silver lining I can see is that the city need not worry about any more lake effect snow.
I can’t imagine there’s any lake left.
They’ve
I think in the interest of accuracy it’s time we rename Buffalo. Let’s call it Uninhabitable, New York.
The last few days prove humans aren’t meant to live in Buffalo.
Heck, buffalo aren’t meant to live in Buffalo.
The only silver lining I can see is that the city need not worry about any more lake effect snow.
I can’t imagine there’s any lake left.
They’ve
November 18, 2014
The Hawaiian lava flow & what if it hits Latrobe
(806 words)
The Pahoans seem to be standing up in good order as one of the world’s most unusual natural disasters is about to befall their Hawaiian village.
They're about to be wiped out by a volcano!
One that could be outrun by a turtle with sore feet.
Have you been following this one? I’m fascinated.
The 1,500-degree lava in June emerged from a vent on the Kilauea volcano and
The Pahoans seem to be standing up in good order as one of the world’s most unusual natural disasters is about to befall their Hawaiian village.
They're about to be wiped out by a volcano!
One that could be outrun by a turtle with sore feet.
Have you been following this one? I’m fascinated.
The 1,500-degree lava in June emerged from a vent on the Kilauea volcano and
November 17, 2014
Winter forecasts all folked up
(671 words)
You can gauge the severity of the coming winter by the volume of my screams whenever I hear folklorists tell me they can gauge the severity of the coming winter based on bugs and nuts.
They say they can tell the winter will be harsh if the wooly buggers have more black than brown, or if the nuts are extra thick.
I have a backyard full of acorns, many more than usual, but
You can gauge the severity of the coming winter by the volume of my screams whenever I hear folklorists tell me they can gauge the severity of the coming winter based on bugs and nuts.
They say they can tell the winter will be harsh if the wooly buggers have more black than brown, or if the nuts are extra thick.
I have a backyard full of acorns, many more than usual, but
November 16, 2014
Re-run Sunday: A Mo-vember tribute to the hairy ribbon
It’s mid-Mo-vember. That means it’s time to re-run my perennial tribute to mustaches and how those who grow the hairy ribbon raise awareness about prostrate cancer. This was from ’11. Please disregard the dated references and now-expired links.
For a moment I felt like the misfit bully in the AT&T commercials who believes his co-workers are deliberately excluding him from the hall taco
For a moment I felt like the misfit bully in the AT&T commercials who believes his co-workers are deliberately excluding him from the hall taco
