Chris Rodell's Blog, page 81
May 3, 2015
RRS: "I may never cut my grass again"
Will you be cutting your grass today? I won’t. I have at least two weeks before it's even a consideration. Yes, it’s time for my annual contest with my buddy Paul to see who can be the last lawn mowing hold-out. This is from last May 16, two weeks before I cut my grass for the first time. In fact, at the end of last year, I'd cut the grass just nine times.
(927 words)
Think growing
(927 words)
Think growing
April 30, 2015
April tweets of the month!
Every time I think I’m losing my Twitter mojo, I have a month like this that makes me think, well, not bad. April had a lot of strong lines.
And I’ve introduced a new @8days2Amish feature. It’s the “Near Daily 3.” It’s a way to blast out three, four or five old posts on one topic. Seems to be helping drive both blog and twitter numbers up.
Thanks for checking in!
• Cursory
And I’ve introduced a new @8days2Amish feature. It’s the “Near Daily 3.” It’s a way to blast out three, four or five old posts on one topic. Seems to be helping drive both blog and twitter numbers up.
Thanks for checking in!
• Cursory
April 29, 2015
Foul balls & Baltimore riots
(703 words)
Not many of you may know it, but I’ve caught three foul balls at Pittsburgh Pirate baseball games between 1991 and 1999.
I don’t know why I don’t write about some aspect of the feat at least once a week because writing about it always makes me feel good, superior even. I know many life-long fans who’ve never snagged even one.
Poor saps.
They’re the only object
Not many of you may know it, but I’ve caught three foul balls at Pittsburgh Pirate baseball games between 1991 and 1999.
I don’t know why I don’t write about some aspect of the feat at least once a week because writing about it always makes me feel good, superior even. I know many life-long fans who’ve never snagged even one.
Poor saps.
They’re the only object
April 28, 2015
What's the big idea? Read this
(856 words)
I propose we today begin reversing the effects of global warming by everyone going straight to the nearest refrigerator and leaving the doors open for just 15 minutes.
I defy any scientist to refute the logic behind this idea.
I came up with this yesterday morning, posted it on social media and, of course, took the rest of the day off.
It wasn’t even 10 a.m. and I’d
I propose we today begin reversing the effects of global warming by everyone going straight to the nearest refrigerator and leaving the doors open for just 15 minutes.
I defy any scientist to refute the logic behind this idea.
I came up with this yesterday morning, posted it on social media and, of course, took the rest of the day off.
It wasn’t even 10 a.m. and I’d
April 27, 2015
Tom Sawyer ejaculates! And when word meanings change
(736 words)
I was startled to find not one, but two ejaculations on the pages of “Tom Sawyer.”
And here I wasn’t even sure the 139-year-old Tom has been through puberty.
I wondered if perhaps I’d stumbled onto one of those pornographic parodies. Some of you more worldly types may have heard of those.
They’re where the smut merchants tweak a famous title and turn something
I was startled to find not one, but two ejaculations on the pages of “Tom Sawyer.”
And here I wasn’t even sure the 139-year-old Tom has been through puberty.
I wondered if perhaps I’d stumbled onto one of those pornographic parodies. Some of you more worldly types may have heard of those.
They’re where the smut merchants tweak a famous title and turn something
April 26, 2015
Re-Run Sunday: "Boston Corbett, America's Greatest Eunuch!"
I’m delighted a Re-Run Sunday coincided with one of my favorite historical days of the entire calendar. It’s Boston Corbett Day!
He’s the eunuch who killed John Wilkes Booth. It happened 150 years ago today.
This is my third most popular post ever and continues to enjoy robust readership.
You won’t see it anywhere in the news today. There will be no stirring memorials. Congress
He’s the eunuch who killed John Wilkes Booth. It happened 150 years ago today.
This is my third most popular post ever and continues to enjoy robust readership.
You won’t see it anywhere in the news today. There will be no stirring memorials. Congress
April 24, 2015
Gina Cerilli: Our model candidate
(652 words)
Lots of salient questions will be asked of Westmoreland County Commissioner candidate Gina Cerilli between now and the May 19 Democratic primary. Reporters and concerned citizens will ask about her stand on taxes, infrastructure, pensions, etc.
None of them have anything to do with what I want to know.
My question: “Gina, if the race gets really tight, will you begin
Lots of salient questions will be asked of Westmoreland County Commissioner candidate Gina Cerilli between now and the May 19 Democratic primary. Reporters and concerned citizens will ask about her stand on taxes, infrastructure, pensions, etc.
None of them have anything to do with what I want to know.
My question: “Gina, if the race gets really tight, will you begin
April 23, 2015
A bejesus of a wasp sting
(667 words)
In order to better represent the painful threat they pose, your average wasp should be the size of winged Volkswagens.
And they should have sirens.
That way they wouldn’t be able to surprise me by flying down the back of my shirt to sting the bejesus out me. Three days later, it still hurts like hell.
I had no idea my back contained so much bejesus.
Just typing
In order to better represent the painful threat they pose, your average wasp should be the size of winged Volkswagens.
And they should have sirens.
That way they wouldn’t be able to surprise me by flying down the back of my shirt to sting the bejesus out me. Three days later, it still hurts like hell.
I had no idea my back contained so much bejesus.
Just typing
April 21, 2015
Juvenile candor starting to pay off
(754 words)
It’s taken me about 50 years, but my bracing brand of juvenile candor is finally beginning to resonate with responsible adults.
I know this because this week I had successful outcomes at three potentially stressful meetings involving accountants, bankers and school officials.
I think a part of it is because I’m no longer even tempted to respond to difficult questions with
It’s taken me about 50 years, but my bracing brand of juvenile candor is finally beginning to resonate with responsible adults.
I know this because this week I had successful outcomes at three potentially stressful meetings involving accountants, bankers and school officials.
I think a part of it is because I’m no longer even tempted to respond to difficult questions with
April 20, 2015
Greg Brady (sorta) endorses my book!
(727 words)
Not only did I meet Greg Brady on Sunday, I cajoled him into provide a celebrity endorsement.
“‘Use All The Crayons!’is to self-improvement humor books what the ‘Johnny Bravo!’ episode is to ‘The Brady Bunch!’ It’s edgy, funny and fills every page with warmth in the same joyful abundance that let Marcia naturally begin filling out her sweaters in Season 4!”
Of course,
Not only did I meet Greg Brady on Sunday, I cajoled him into provide a celebrity endorsement.
“‘Use All The Crayons!’is to self-improvement humor books what the ‘Johnny Bravo!’ episode is to ‘The Brady Bunch!’ It’s edgy, funny and fills every page with warmth in the same joyful abundance that let Marcia naturally begin filling out her sweaters in Season 4!”
Of course,
