Chris Rodell's Blog, page 82
April 19, 2015
Re-Run Sunday: "Time for Swiss Army hands"
This was from April ’12. It pops up every once in a while. That pleases me. As a writer, these little stories out of thin air are some of my favorites. They’re exactly what I think a good blog should be all about. Little surprises out of nothing.
Of course, maybe I’m just being romantic. It’s just another little blog.
We were sitting there in a packed assembly hall awaiting the
Of course, maybe I’m just being romantic. It’s just another little blog.
We were sitting there in a packed assembly hall awaiting the
April 17, 2015
Greg Brady (and me) at W'm'd Home Show!
(747 words)
The coolest thing that could potentially happen to me this weekend will be if the 60-year-old man who played the 12-year-old Greg Brady stops by and says, “Man, I’ve heard all about your book! Great to meet you! I’d like to buy one!”
Who am I kidding?
The coolest thing that could potentially — potentially — happen to me this weekend will be if Pope Francis stops by and
The coolest thing that could potentially happen to me this weekend will be if the 60-year-old man who played the 12-year-old Greg Brady stops by and says, “Man, I’ve heard all about your book! Great to meet you! I’d like to buy one!”
Who am I kidding?
The coolest thing that could potentially — potentially — happen to me this weekend will be if Pope Francis stops by and
April 15, 2015
Earth Day? We need a Mirth Day
(633 words)
Too many people gaze into the morning mirror and catalog too many perceived imperfections. They see the turkey neck, eyelids that droop or that heroic schnoz momentous enough to be detected and tracked by Google Earth.
Some eventually seek cosmetic solutions.
But there’s no surgery for my most glaring facial flaw.
My face conveys no mirth.
It has no playfulness. No
Too many people gaze into the morning mirror and catalog too many perceived imperfections. They see the turkey neck, eyelids that droop or that heroic schnoz momentous enough to be detected and tracked by Google Earth.
Some eventually seek cosmetic solutions.
But there’s no surgery for my most glaring facial flaw.
My face conveys no mirth.
It has no playfulness. No
April 14, 2015
Tasteful/tasteless re-enactments on Lincoln/Titanic anniversaries
(670 words)
You won’t hear it in many of the more somber observations today, but Abraham Lincoln died laughing.
It was 150 years ago tonight at 10:15 p.m. in Ford’s Theater that Lincoln was slain by the dastardly charmer John Wilkes Booth.
The actor deliberately timed his fatal shot to coincide with one of the biggest laugh lines from “Our American Cousin.” I’m only vaguely familiar
You won’t hear it in many of the more somber observations today, but Abraham Lincoln died laughing.
It was 150 years ago tonight at 10:15 p.m. in Ford’s Theater that Lincoln was slain by the dastardly charmer John Wilkes Booth.
The actor deliberately timed his fatal shot to coincide with one of the biggest laugh lines from “Our American Cousin.” I’m only vaguely familiar
April 13, 2015
Let me drive the neighborhood school bus
My daughter sensed my frustration over the wastefulness when I remarked how it’d be the third day that week she’d asked if I could drive her to school.
That meant it was the third day the big yellow bus drove right past our house and made nearly the same route without her — all so she could get to school 15 minutes earlier and wouldn’t have to mingle with the rest of our neighborhood
That meant it was the third day the big yellow bus drove right past our house and made nearly the same route without her — all so she could get to school 15 minutes earlier and wouldn’t have to mingle with the rest of our neighborhood
April 12, 2015
RRS: Time for Bucs to bury Vince Lascheid
Going to the Pirate home opener tomorrow? Not me. I hope to make it to The Pond where Dave still makes a big deal out of the day for those of us not attending. There will be premium Nathan’s foot-long hotdogs, nachos and beers that cost about 90 percent less than what they’re paying at PNC Park.
One thing Dave won’t have that PNC will, is the ghost of Vince Laschied, which makes The Pond
One thing Dave won’t have that PNC will, is the ghost of Vince Laschied, which makes The Pond
April 10, 2015
My career advice: don't be like me!
(991 words)
Yesterday was one of those days when the hopes of optimistic college students eager to become career freelance writers were crushed when my most emphatic advice to college students eager to become freelance writers is to become plumbers.
I’ve been thinking for the last two months about writing a post headlined, “The Great Chris Rodell Life Experiment Fail.”
I’ve decided
Yesterday was one of those days when the hopes of optimistic college students eager to become career freelance writers were crushed when my most emphatic advice to college students eager to become freelance writers is to become plumbers.
I’ve been thinking for the last two months about writing a post headlined, “The Great Chris Rodell Life Experiment Fail.”
I’ve decided
April 9, 2015
Cali water crisis to lead to innovation gold rush
(689 words)
I’m aware of the inherent contradiction that I worry we’ll one day run out of water, but never fear we’ll ever run out of beer.
News that California is running out of water has me feel like guzzling beer in Pennsylvania right now.
It’s scary.
But you know what — and I’m sober as I begin today’s post — I actually see a bright side to California’s water crisis.
I
I’m aware of the inherent contradiction that I worry we’ll one day run out of water, but never fear we’ll ever run out of beer.
News that California is running out of water has me feel like guzzling beer in Pennsylvania right now.
It’s scary.
But you know what — and I’m sober as I begin today’s post — I actually see a bright side to California’s water crisis.
I
April 7, 2015
Yukkin' it up over laugh track history
(647 words)
I plan to spend tomorrow commemorating the 2003 death of Charles Douglass by laughing my merry ass off.
I’ll chortle, giggle, titter, guffaw, hoot, howl, cackle and generally spend the day behaving like I’m being tickled by invisible feathers.
Douglass died 12 years ago tomorrow at the age of 93. If his funeral was a sad one, I think Douglass would have disapproved. His
I plan to spend tomorrow commemorating the 2003 death of Charles Douglass by laughing my merry ass off.
I’ll chortle, giggle, titter, guffaw, hoot, howl, cackle and generally spend the day behaving like I’m being tickled by invisible feathers.
Douglass died 12 years ago tomorrow at the age of 93. If his funeral was a sad one, I think Douglass would have disapproved. His
April 6, 2015
Weekly World News & baby born without a nose
(691 words)
My first thought when I heard the newscaster say a baby had been born without a nose was that the Weekly World News had commandeered the airwaves.
Oh, how I wish that were true. The world right now could use more of the kind of heyday news the WWN published.
She was the black-’n’-white sister publication of the National Enquirer back when I was running around with those
My first thought when I heard the newscaster say a baby had been born without a nose was that the Weekly World News had commandeered the airwaves.
Oh, how I wish that were true. The world right now could use more of the kind of heyday news the WWN published.
She was the black-’n’-white sister publication of the National Enquirer back when I was running around with those
