Chris Rodell's Blog, page 77
July 13, 2015
I hope I don't die while the Pirate are winning and I hope the Pirates never lose
(752 words)
My daughters, 14 and 9, know I live and die with the fortunes of the Pittsburgh Pirates and are sympathetic. We as a family enjoy baseball to varying degrees and they understand I’m in a sunnier mood when the Bucs win.
So they were apprehensive Sunday morning when I solemnly told them to gather in front of the TV.
They knew the game ended late and I’d recorded the ending.
My daughters, 14 and 9, know I live and die with the fortunes of the Pittsburgh Pirates and are sympathetic. We as a family enjoy baseball to varying degrees and they understand I’m in a sunnier mood when the Bucs win.
So they were apprehensive Sunday morning when I solemnly told them to gather in front of the TV.
They knew the game ended late and I’d recorded the ending.
July 12, 2015
Re-run Sunday: "Today I pranked the trash man"
The Friday farewell story about my last day in the Pond office in just three days busted into my Top 10 most-read stories of all time. This is the August 2010 story it bumped from prominence.
Hope everyone has an enjoyable Sunday!
I guess it all starts with me wanting to be a garbage man. Some would say I achieved that goal from 1992-2000 when I worked for National Enquirer, a job
Hope everyone has an enjoyable Sunday!
I guess it all starts with me wanting to be a garbage man. Some would say I achieved that goal from 1992-2000 when I worked for National Enquirer, a job
July 10, 2015
Farewell, Pond office! I am outta here
(1,116 words)
These are the last words I’ll ever write from The Pond. The stakes are high, so this had better be historic.
Here goes:
Four score and seven years ago, Dave Carfang’s grandfather brought forth this bar.
Wait, that sentence contains some factual errors. Let’s skip over some stuff and go back to just seven years ago.
The birth of our darling new baby daughter meant
These are the last words I’ll ever write from The Pond. The stakes are high, so this had better be historic.
Here goes:
Four score and seven years ago, Dave Carfang’s grandfather brought forth this bar.
Wait, that sentence contains some factual errors. Let’s skip over some stuff and go back to just seven years ago.
The birth of our darling new baby daughter meant
July 9, 2015
I'll always be broke
(720 words)
I was enduring the monthly drudgery of squaring both mine and my poor mother’s bills when I realized I’ll never be rich.
There were taxes, Comcast, medicals, utilities, blah, blah, blah.
I sat back and thought to myself, “Man, I’ll never get ahead.”
I didn’t feel defeated. Just resigned.
I’ll never be able to buy the things I want. I’m bound to go to restless sleep
I was enduring the monthly drudgery of squaring both mine and my poor mother’s bills when I realized I’ll never be rich.
There were taxes, Comcast, medicals, utilities, blah, blah, blah.
I sat back and thought to myself, “Man, I’ll never get ahead.”
I didn’t feel defeated. Just resigned.
I’ll never be able to buy the things I want. I’m bound to go to restless sleep
July 8, 2015
The Greenbrier, The Bunker & and the larger-than-life billionaire who owns them both
(1.159 words)
The Greenbrier pays such meticulous attention to detail it has a historian named Walls giving bunker tours.
I didn’t check but I have to imagine they have at least one chef named Cook.
Being a history buff, I’d been looking forward to the bunker tour since its top secret existence was revealed in 1992. Officially known as “Project Greek Island,” the bunker was conceived
The Greenbrier pays such meticulous attention to detail it has a historian named Walls giving bunker tours.
I didn’t check but I have to imagine they have at least one chef named Cook.
Being a history buff, I’d been looking forward to the bunker tour since its top secret existence was revealed in 1992. Officially known as “Project Greek Island,” the bunker was conceived
July 6, 2015
The decline of newspapers & death of Mike Pigott
(779 words)
The newspaper industry took another big hit last week when it lost both me and Mike Pigott as regular readers.
My wife and I agreed it was time to cancel our Pittsburgh Post-Gazette subscription because the paper had become too expensive ($1.50-a-day), delivery too erratic, and the paper too strewn with sloppy errors.
Mike’s readership ended for more concrete reasons.
The newspaper industry took another big hit last week when it lost both me and Mike Pigott as regular readers.
My wife and I agreed it was time to cancel our Pittsburgh Post-Gazette subscription because the paper had become too expensive ($1.50-a-day), delivery too erratic, and the paper too strewn with sloppy errors.
Mike’s readership ended for more concrete reasons.
July 2, 2015
Arts show book signings & port-o-john horror stories
(698 words)
I took one look at the festival surroundings and one thought leapt to mind: “Man, this weekend is really gonna suck!”
It’s an odd reaction from a guy who’ll be spending 40 of the next 72 hours desperately trying to sell a book that preaches the sunny values of eternal optimism.
I can’t help it.
Trying to sell books to indifferent strangers at events like The
I took one look at the festival surroundings and one thought leapt to mind: “Man, this weekend is really gonna suck!”
It’s an odd reaction from a guy who’ll be spending 40 of the next 72 hours desperately trying to sell a book that preaches the sunny values of eternal optimism.
I can’t help it.
Trying to sell books to indifferent strangers at events like The
July 1, 2015
June tweets of the month
No preamble. I wrote tomorrow’s post today so everything’s all screwed up. Hope you enjoy the tweets from @8days2Amish. (Yes, I'm aware of the odd shading on about 3/4s of the entries. I don't know how it got there and it's too near Happy Hour for me to bother getting rid of it)
• I’d like to see how a proctologist responds when angry patient tells him bill's too high and he knows what
• I’d like to see how a proctologist responds when angry patient tells him bill's too high and he knows what
June 30, 2015
Life & death of the prisoner with the big penis
(634 words)
It wasn’t the kind of description I’d ever heard Det. Joe Friday give on any of the old “Dragnet” APBs for escaped criminals.
“When he’s all cleaned up, he’s very handsome and, in all frankness, very well-endowed,” said retired Det. David Bentley of Richard Matt.
Matt, 49, as you probably know, was one of two since-captured escaped prisoners from the Clinton Correctional
It wasn’t the kind of description I’d ever heard Det. Joe Friday give on any of the old “Dragnet” APBs for escaped criminals.
“When he’s all cleaned up, he’s very handsome and, in all frankness, very well-endowed,” said retired Det. David Bentley of Richard Matt.
Matt, 49, as you probably know, was one of two since-captured escaped prisoners from the Clinton Correctional
June 29, 2015
The prez, the killer & origins of "Amazing Grace"
(711 words)
I knew I had to research the history when I heard Sting say the composer of “Amazing Grace” was an English slave ship captain who’d written the song to atone for his mighty sins.
It wasn’t the first time Sting had lied to me. Remember, he was the guy who said he was breaking up The Police because he was sure exciting new creative opportunities for him and his fans lay in the
I knew I had to research the history when I heard Sting say the composer of “Amazing Grace” was an English slave ship captain who’d written the song to atone for his mighty sins.
It wasn’t the first time Sting had lied to me. Remember, he was the guy who said he was breaking up The Police because he was sure exciting new creative opportunities for him and his fans lay in the
