Chris Rodell's Blog, page 42
January 31, 2017
January Tweets of the Month!
Donald Trump’s twitter feed has 23 million; Barack Obama, 82 million. A twitter feed purporting to be God has just 217,000.
My 8days2Amish has just 1,658. I’m not saying I should have as many as Trump or Obama, but you’d think the following wisdoms would at least lead to as many as God.
No matter. It all winds up here on the blog sooner or later. Thanks for reading!
• I hope
My 8days2Amish has just 1,658. I’m not saying I should have as many as Trump or Obama, but you’d think the following wisdoms would at least lead to as many as God.
No matter. It all winds up here on the blog sooner or later. Thanks for reading!
• I hope
January 27, 2017
The many ways in which I'm like Henry David Thoreau
(760 words)
I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me earlier, but the writer with whom I have the most in common is none other than Henry David Thoreau.
He began writing “Walden” while spending two years living in the woods on Walden Pond near Concord, Massachusetts.
I wrote “Use All The Crayons!” while spending eight years drinking at The Pond near Latrobe, Pennsylvania!
He was a
I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me earlier, but the writer with whom I have the most in common is none other than Henry David Thoreau.
He began writing “Walden” while spending two years living in the woods on Walden Pond near Concord, Massachusetts.
I wrote “Use All The Crayons!” while spending eight years drinking at The Pond near Latrobe, Pennsylvania!
He was a
January 26, 2017
Beds of nails, gator rasslin': My stunt stories
(1,159 words)
The way you hear our president talking about the “dishonest media” you’d think he’d want us fed to the alligators, heaved from airplanes, shackled, made to lay on beds of nails and smashed with sledgehammers.
In my case, it’d all be redundant.
Been there, done that.
Of course, I’m no longer part of the actual media. I’m some kind of oddball hybrid. I write, but
The way you hear our president talking about the “dishonest media” you’d think he’d want us fed to the alligators, heaved from airplanes, shackled, made to lay on beds of nails and smashed with sledgehammers.
In my case, it’d all be redundant.
Been there, done that.
Of course, I’m no longer part of the actual media. I’m some kind of oddball hybrid. I write, but
January 24, 2017
Let there pee light! My new toilet night light
(664 words)
An unbidden gift from a Nashville wit reminds me I might be better off posting observations about things like luxury accessory goods than midnight bathroom habits.
Then maybe today I’d have a flashy new Rolex instead of a flashing new toilet bowl night light.
But you take what you can get so that’s how I wound up last night installing my new illumibowl to our bedroom
An unbidden gift from a Nashville wit reminds me I might be better off posting observations about things like luxury accessory goods than midnight bathroom habits.
Then maybe today I’d have a flashy new Rolex instead of a flashing new toilet bowl night light.
But you take what you can get so that’s how I wound up last night installing my new illumibowl to our bedroom
January 23, 2017
Random post on Steeler loss, women's march & sleeping with Madonna
So many topics to tackle on this day: Do I blog about Steeler loss? Madonna being outrageous? The marches? Yes! Yes! Yes!
Time for the ever-popular random item post:
• I can’t believe I’ll be 54 in less than a month and I still haven’t slept with Madonna. She was very boastful of her promiscuity when we were both younger, and promiscuous was something I aspired to be. I figured it
Time for the ever-popular random item post:
• I can’t believe I’ll be 54 in less than a month and I still haven’t slept with Madonna. She was very boastful of her promiscuity when we were both younger, and promiscuous was something I aspired to be. I figured it
January 20, 2017
Shall I "just get over it?" Hmmm...
(594 words)
I was surprised to see Donald Trump honoring the fallen at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.
You’d think a guy who famously disparaged an American hero by saying he prefers people who weren’t captured would have little patience with the ultimate quitters.
Is that the kind of joke I’m supposed to suppress if I were to just get over it?
For me, that’s a pretty steep price
I was surprised to see Donald Trump honoring the fallen at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.
You’d think a guy who famously disparaged an American hero by saying he prefers people who weren’t captured would have little patience with the ultimate quitters.
Is that the kind of joke I’m supposed to suppress if I were to just get over it?
For me, that’s a pretty steep price
January 19, 2017
Friendly stranger says I'm inspirational
(802 words)
I wonder if it’s too late for me to bid on any of the presidential likenesses from last week’s Gettysburg Wax Museum auction.
I’d like to acquire one of the cheaper, less accomplished presidents to occupy my office chair when I’m not here. The dummy — and I’m referring to the wax surrogate — would appear to thoughtfully gaze out the window overlooking the intersection at the
I wonder if it’s too late for me to bid on any of the presidential likenesses from last week’s Gettysburg Wax Museum auction.
I’d like to acquire one of the cheaper, less accomplished presidents to occupy my office chair when I’m not here. The dummy — and I’m referring to the wax surrogate — would appear to thoughtfully gaze out the window overlooking the intersection at the
January 18, 2017
I think MLK would have become a Steeler fan
(670 words)
I’m guaranteeing the Pittsburgh Steelers are going to beat the hated New England Patriots on Sunday and go on to win the Super Bowl.
Take it to the bank!
And the last time I felt this arrogant about a prediction was Nov. 8 when I assured everyone that on Jan. 20 Americans would be unified in celebration of the landslide election of President Hilary Rodham Clinton.
For
I’m guaranteeing the Pittsburgh Steelers are going to beat the hated New England Patriots on Sunday and go on to win the Super Bowl.
Take it to the bank!
And the last time I felt this arrogant about a prediction was Nov. 8 when I assured everyone that on Jan. 20 Americans would be unified in celebration of the landslide election of President Hilary Rodham Clinton.
For
January 17, 2017
Binge watch ... me! My new (and old) videos
(419 words)
After previewing my most recent promotional video, I’ve made a directorial decision regarding the next one.
I’ve decided to cast someone else to play me.
The “new” Chris Rodell will be younger, have better posture and smile more vibrantly.
And she’ll be black.
I’m thinking of Danai Gurira.
Having the woman who plays Michonne on “Walking Dead” play me will really
After previewing my most recent promotional video, I’ve made a directorial decision regarding the next one.
I’ve decided to cast someone else to play me.
The “new” Chris Rodell will be younger, have better posture and smile more vibrantly.
And she’ll be black.
I’m thinking of Danai Gurira.
Having the woman who plays Michonne on “Walking Dead” play me will really
January 13, 2017
What to say to serial sneezers
(672 words)
It was on this day in 1980 that Donna Griffiths, 11, of Worcestershire, England, sneezed. It was the first of 978 in a row.
Not 978 sneezes, mind you.
It was 978 days of sneezing. Consecutive days. Twice a minute. Every minute. She even sneezed in her sleep. Guinness calculated she sneezed more than 1 million times the first year alone. She didn’t stop until Sept. 16,
It was on this day in 1980 that Donna Griffiths, 11, of Worcestershire, England, sneezed. It was the first of 978 in a row.
Not 978 sneezes, mind you.
It was 978 days of sneezing. Consecutive days. Twice a minute. Every minute. She even sneezed in her sleep. Guinness calculated she sneezed more than 1 million times the first year alone. She didn’t stop until Sept. 16,
