Jamieson Wolf's Blog, page 61

The Road of Yellow Brick – A Poem

As I walked, I could see

yellow bricks being left

behind with each step.

They sparkled like real gold

in the afternoon sunshine.

I looked behind me,

watching as they formed

a path, leading back into

my past. I kept walking forward.

I held my partners hand

in my right and my

mothers in my left.

As we walked, the sun

overhead, casting shadows

into my eyes. One of the

shadows moved closer

to me, taking on shape

and form. Soon he, too,

was walking with us.

I knew who this was,

this dark shape, this

shadow form. He was

who I had been before.

He kept up for a while,

finding balance on the

road of yellow brick.

However, I was faster

than he was, stronger

than he’d been. Though

he kept up, he was lagging

and his shape was starting

to lose its clarity. As we

moved passed him,

I looked back one final

time to see him waving at me,

urging me forward.

“You got this.”

He said. His voice found me

upon the wind that blew

by me. The bricks were

brighter and I could still

see them in my eyes

when I turned to look

forward again. I would

always be on the road

of yellow brick, but

I would look forward to

what would come instead

of looking back at where

I had come from.

Squeezing both my partners

hand and my mothers, I said:

“We got this.”

I felt the ground tremble

and saw a sea of yellow bricks

erupting from the ground

like flowers. I would just

have to keep walking,

keep doing what had

once been impossible,

to find out where

the road of yellow brick

would lead me now.

Share the Joy – A Poem

I was getting

off of the

elevator when a

voice called out

from around the corner.

“Hello? Are you the flower man?”

I turned the

corner and spied

a little old

lady standing in

her open doorway.

She was the

neighbour I had

never seen. She

had a kerchief

on her hair

decorated with brightly

coloured flowers and

it was also

covered in sparkles.

“I must look a sight.”

She said, smiling.

“He called to tell me my flowers are coming and my hair was a mess. I’m sure I look horrible!”

She let out

a belly laugh

of a chuckle

and I smiled.

“No, you look beautiful. I love the sparkles.”

She reached up

a hand to

touch the kerchief.

“Isn’t it lovely? My great grand daughter gave it to me when I saw them last.”

“When was that?”

“Almost three years ago now. She’s grown up to be quite the lady.”

“I’m sure she has.”

She looked into

the hallway again

and smiled at me.

“I don’t know what’s keeping him. Maybe he got lost in the building.”

“Did you want me to go down and see if he’s in the lobby?”

I spotted a

walker behind her

and she was

holding onto the

doorframe for support.

“No need, dear, that’s kind of you. I’m just excited to get the flowers!”

Her joy was

infectious and I

smiled again, feeling

so much light.

“Is there a special occasion for the flowers? Is it your birthday?”

“No, dear, I stopped having birthdays when I turned eighty. No, the flowers are to celebrate the birth of another great grandchild! My grandchild Josie had another baby girl!”

“That’s lovely, congratulations!”

“That’s sweet of you dear. They said that since I couldn’t be there with them, I could at least share the joy.”

I thought of

the idea, sharing

joy with others,

even if they

are far away.

I thought of

this woman, my

neighbour, bursting with

so much joy

that it was

making me joyous, too.

“You tell them that that was a wonderful thing to do. What are you going to do to celebrate?”

She let out

a little laugh.

“I’m going to have a glass of wine, put on some nice music and look at my flowers.”

As if on

cue, we heard

the elevator doors

and a man

carrying the largest

vase of flowers

that I had

ever seen strode

towards us. I

smiled at him.

“She’s been waiting for you.”

When she saw

them, I thought

she would burst

from the joy,

her face shining.

Instead, it lifted

the spirits of

both the deliver

man and myself.

He had had

a grumpy look

on his face

before, but now,

much like me,

he was smiling.

“Oh, you do know how to spoil an old lady. Bring them into my dining room if you could and put them on the table. And dear-”

She reached out

and took my

hand, giving it

a little squeeze.

“Thank you.”

The door closed

behind her, but

her joy flowed

out of her

apartment in a

wave of sparkles

and light. I

rode the wave

of joy home.

Timeless Love – A Poem

I stopped wearing a watch

soon after I met you.

I used to have a

fascination with time,

though some would

call it an obsession.

Every moment was catalogued,

counted and allotted.

I had nearly one-hundred

watches, each keeping time.

I could hear them ticking away

from inside my jewelry box.

I felt as if time was

constantly slipping away

from me, as if it were

diamond sand that slipped

through my fingers.

When I met you,

time seemed to stand still.

We’ve been everywhere

together, travelled and seen

parts of the world that

I had only dreamed of.

We’ve grown together,

each of us finally comfortable

in our own skin when we

hadn’t been before.

We’ve loved together,

redefining for each of us

what we thought love was.

It feels as if I’ve known you

for all of my life but it

has only been two years.

It’s been two whole years

Yet it feels as if

I met you yesterday.

Though it’s only been

a relatively short while

in terms of the great

expanse of time itself,

I can’t picture my life

without you. You’ve given me

a timeless love that, until now,

has only been found in books

or movies. You’ve proven to me

that real love, timeless love,

does exist. I have stopped

counting the seconds, minutes,

hours and days that make up

my life. Now there is only

the brilliant light of the future

and the time that we have

together.

Primal by Michelle St. James – A Book Review

Jenna Carver is still reeling.

After a shootout that almost cost her daughter Lily her life, Jenna is trying as hard as she can to make a normal life for Lily. Jenna doesn’t know if here life will ever be normal again. She hides instead inside her London flat, putting a wall between herself and the world, trying to keep the outside world at bay. This includes Farrell Black.

Jenna knows what her heart wants but her mind keeps getting in the way. Yes, her heart will love no other man aside from Farrell, but can she give her daughter a life filled with crime and murder when all she wanted to do is keep Lily safe from all of that?

For his part, Farrell is doing everything he can to make sure that Jenna and his daughter are safe. He would do anything, kill anyone that threatened their safety. The papers that Jenna found in Milan are hidden, but that doesn’t mean they are safe. When a man starts following Jenna and Lily when they are on their way home and threatens their lives, Farrell steps in almost killing the man.

He tells them that there are other people after the papers and that they won’t stop until they get them. Having delved into the papers, Farrell knows that the information they contain could mean the end of the world should the research fall into the wrong hands.

Farrell knows that the only thing to do is to keep Jenna and Lily safe. Flying to Milan, he takes Jenna and Lily to one of his houses. There the passion between Jenna and Farrell explodes once more and Jenna gives into it, knowing that it all might be too much. Would she rather be free from the criminal side of the mob? Or have a live with Farrell?

When someone close to Jenna is killed, they know that they must find out more information and unlock the secrets that are hidden. They have to find out more about the virus that has been created and how to stop it. It’s a bioweapon that could start a world war.

They, and the world, are running out of time…

I absolutely loved this book. Once again, Michelle St. James pulls out all the stops to give you a tale full of danger, passion and romance. However, her romance novels have something that I find to be lacking in a lot of others: it has tons of heart.

You actually care for these characters, you yearn for Jenna to give in to what we know her heart wants, you hope that Farrell will learn to forgive Jenna for her past deeds. The secondary characters also impress me and I want to know more about Farrell’s second in command, Leo as well as Jenna’s sister Kate. I also want to know more about Farrell’s brother, Evan. It takes a very talented author to make you fall for the main characters, but also for the secondary ones.

As well as the unending sense of danger within the novel, the passion that burns across the page, there is also a serious internal struggle inside of Jenna. How many of us can relate to what she is going through? That the heart knows what it wants but the mind and rational thinking try to tell the heart that it’s wrong. That the mind knows more about what’s good for you than the heart does, so you walk away from love. I know I’ve done that before and I know a few of you out there have as well.  What we think we want isn’t necessarily what’s best for us.

The emotion involves in this novel, from the internal struggle of Jenna’s to the need to protect at all costs within Farrell, is primal in it’s purest form. The novel ends with a cliff hanger, assuring us that Jenna and Farrell will have to fight with all they have if they are going to have their happily ever after.

I can’t wait to see how it all turns out in the third book in the London Mob Boss trilogy, Eternal!

A Glass Full of Stars – A Poem

It has finally happened.

After seven years,

I have been able to

break free. Part of me

expected to feel sad

at the loss, but its

been seven long years.

That’s time enough to grieve.

All day, there was a sense

of euphoria within me,

rising to the surface.

I compared it to an earthly miracle,

something you wish for

but won’t happen until

you take matters into your

own hands. Behind me,

I could see the chains

whenever I turned around.

They were tarnished and old,

but they were broken

and lay behind me, scattered

like bread crumbs leading

to part of my past.

I knew I would never

go back there, would never

revisit that part of my life.

On the way home, a man

kept following close behind

me. I would turn and catch sight

of him out of the corner of

my eye and then he would be

gone. When I got home, I

came into my apartment

and found him standing there.

Looking at him, I realised that

I was looking at my younger self.

I was downtrodden,

I was cut off from everyone,

I was alone, even though

I was supposed to have love.

Holding out my hand, I said:

“Why have you been following me? I thought I left you behind.”

He nodded, smiling at me.

“You did. Today, we’re both free.”

I watched as a light began

to build within him, filling him

with a brilliance that shone.

I was astounded to feel the

light inside of me that had

been building all day respond

to the light of my past self.

I looked at who I had been

and embraced him; he was still

a part of me. Part of who

I had become. I felt his

light enter me and felt whole.

He pulled back and looked

me right in the eyes.

“Never be ashamed of your past mistakes. Just embrace your future.”

He began to shine even

brighter and the chains that

were wound around both

of our wrists, the last of them,

glowed a brilliant blue

before breaking away.

He began to fade, but before he

did, he said to me:

“Have a drink for who you were, who you are and who you will become, okay?”

When he was gone, I stood there,

free and whole once more.

I would be raising a glass

filled with stars

tonight.

A Different Kind of Love – A Poem

I watched them

swim, the water

moving over their

bodies like quicksilver.

Colin swam up

to me. I was

sitting on the

edge of the pool.

“Why don’t you come in and play?”

He asked me.

“The water feels really good.”

I shook my

head, unsure of

what was holding

me back. The

sun came out

and it glanced

off of Colin’s

skin, highlighting the

muscles in his chest.

“I want to.”

He splashed me

with some water.

“So come in and play. You already got your feet wet. What’s the problem?”

I took a

moment to think

about all of it.

“I wrote my romance novels when I was unhappy. I wrote them when I had love, but it wasn’t real.”

Colin smiles and

sluices himself with

water so that

he is glistening.

“So?”

“So? Now I have love, real and true love.”

He grinned mischievously

at me. He

swam even closer.

“Then what’s the problem? Shouldn’t having true love only enrich your stories? Don’t you want to share that kind of love with others?”

I thought about

his words. I

had assumed that

writing romances when

I was with

someone who made

me happy would

be some kind

of betrayal. Instead,

it was a

reflection of that

kind of love.

I tried again.

“I wrote about broken men finding love in the most unlikely of ways. I don’t to write that kind of character anymore.”

Laughing, Colin splashed

me with more water.

“So don’t. You now have a different kind of love then you were used to. So write that. And I don’t think that any of them were broken.”

“You don’t?”

“No. They were brave enough to accept the gift of love, even though it terrified them. As you were brave enough to do with the love you have now.”

He reached out

and touched the

place on my

chest where my

heart lay beneath.

“You need to celebrate that kind of love.”

I tried one

more time to

make my case.

“But I want to write something important, something that touches people.”

Colin gave me

a stern look.

“And doesn’t every romance do that? Do they not connect right to a person’s heart, making them feel pure and true emotion? What’s more important than that?”

He put his

hand on my

shoulder and looked

at me right

in the eyes.

I almost lost

in their colour,

a light hazel,

flecked with bits

of gold and

green. He leaned

in closer to

me and I

smelled spice and

a citrus scent.

“Listen to your heart. It knows what it wants to write. Right?”

Colin began to

swim closer to

where Percy was

waiting for him,

the water gliding

off of Percy’s

body as he

stood to meet

his lover. Colin

looked back at

me, raising a

hand to his

eyes to block

the bright sun.

“Hey, do Percy and I get a happy ending?”

I laughed out

loud at the question.

“Doesn’t every romance end with a happy ending?”

I stood and

went back inside,

itching to write

about a different

kind of love.

 

The Tree We’ve Grown Together – A Poem

This poem is for Michael for our two year anniversary. I often find that my words are lacking and can’t truly capture how I feel about you, but they will have to do.

Love you Michael, so very much.

 

When we first started

on our journey together,

we made a seed of light.

We planted it in the ground

and over time, we made sure

that it had all it could need

so that it could grow into

something wonderful.

Our love was like water

to the seed, nurturing it

within the ground.

Our support for each other

was like the earth,

keeping it safe storms.

Every time we said

“I love you.”

to each other, that was

like the wind. And

every time we felt our

hearts growing bigger with

love for each other,

that was like the sun,

shining down upon it.

Now our seed has grown

into a tree that stretches

its branches out from

the earth and into the sky.

Its branches reach into the

clouds themselves and along

all of the branches, there are

mementos and ornaments

of the time we’ve spent together.

I can hardly wait to see

where the tree will take us

and how we will grow with it,

until it touches the heavens

and beyond.

Of Stars and Light – A Poem

This is for Rachael who is lovely and fabulous. Happy Birthday![image error]

 

There is a joy that

comes from you and

fills others with brightness.

There is a wisdom that

resides inside of you

that is beyond your years.

Countless times, you’ve

given counsel and comfort,

asking nothing in return.

Your laughter is like

sweetest music; it fills

the air around it with

light. Sometimes, I

swear that I can see

stars sparkling around you

when you laugh. It is

infectious and beautiful,

just as you are. Often,

I am in awe of your courage,

your strength, your determination.

You are a joy and inspiration

to all who know you.

You are made from

stars and light and

everything wonderful.

 

The Finding of Martha Lost by Caroline Wallace – A Book Review

It is 1976 and Martha has been lost all of her life and has no idea how her story begins.

Found in a suitcase in the Lime Street station in Liverpool, she has lived her whole life under the domineering finger of her Mother, an overly religious woman who fears the devil. Martha works at the stations lost property office. It’s a good fit for Martha has a gift for finding things and the people they belong to.

Her life changes when Mother passes away. Not sure what part of her story has begun, perhaps part six. She tries to settle into her new motherless life, but somehow still under her thumb. Martha is the Liver Bird of Lime Street and has never left Lime Street station. Without her, the station would crumble to nothingness.

Thank goodness she has a few distractions in her life. There is Elizabeth that works next door in the coffee bar. She’s always encouraging Martha to let go and be free and always has a slice of cake for her. There’s a boy that’s dressed as a Roman solider that watches her from afar. There’s also a homeless man that uses a fishing pole to snag food out of rubbish bins.

There’s even an Australian tourist, Max, who has a suitcase full of Beatles recordings and photos that were thought to be lost. He asks for Martha’s help to find the ashes of Mal Evans, a man that is credited with helping the Beatles on their rise to stardom.

Then Martha receives a letter from station management asking her to provide her birth certificate and her National Insurance Number or face eviction. The lost property office is all she has ever known, her whole world.

Elizabeth tells her to write to someone that could help her so Martha devises a plan. She places a poster on the wall outside the lost property office that reads: DO YOU KNOW MY MOTHER OR FATHER? She receives an answer written throughout the entirety of The Song of the Lark by Willa Cather and thus starts communication with someone who perhaps knows how her story started.

Will Martha be brave enough to find out who she really is?

My plot summary fails to capture the magic of this novel. It does nothing to capture the depth of emotion and the sheer joy of reading it, nor does it capture the heart. There’s simply no way that a summary of events in the novel will capture that. This is a novel that isn’t merely read; you experience every moment and live right along with Martha as she learns who she is and what matters most.

For me, reading this novel felt like travelling back in time. The Finding of Martha Lost has a luminescent quality to its story and its pages. It was almost as if I were flipping through an old photo album, so real was Martha Lost.

I love the characters that people this novel in surprising ways. Elizabeth and George Harris, always dressed as a Roman solider. There’s William who my heart just went out to and then there’s Martha, lovely Martha with her love of books, that I just wanted to reach into the pages and hug so I could offer some sort of comfort. The characters that people this novel are that real, that lifelike.

The true prowess of Wallace’s writing lies in the fact that she deals with some terrible life issues, yet the novel still feels magical. It deals with religious mania, abandonment, having a baby out of wedlock, the war and how it affected the lives of everyone around them and secrets that are too painful to share. Wallace manages to cover all this and more and still the novel reads like a wonderful fairy tale for adults that does what all good fairy tales do: It teaches us something about ourselves along the way and helps us believe in magic once again.

I will miss Martha, Elizabeth, William and George Harris with all my heart. Thankfully, they will be waiting for me when I once again pick up The Finding of Martha Lost and let myself be transported back in time.

Glitter and Stardust – A Poem

There is a light inside of me,

made from the stars and the sun.

It shines bright and beautiful

and touches everything I do.

Sometimes, my body can’t

contain the light. It flows

from my body, leaving

sparkles in my wake

as I walk. The glitter

rides on the wind until

everyone else is entranced

and they, too, are dancing.