Kendra Tierney's Blog, page 19

How to Celebrate Your Nameday When Your Name Isn't a Saint's Name (yet)

Between nearly twenty weeks of all-day morning sickness and my failed going to bed early for Lent experiment, I ended up with quite a backlog of mailbag questions. Over the next few weeks, I'll be sharing them . . .  

I received this one after linking to my post about how we celebrate three special days each year for each kid: their birthday, baptism day, and nameday. Here's that post:

Every Kid is Special (three days per year)Question:

Kendra,

I have a rather odd question for you, but figured after trying to find an answer on the Internet, with your gift of celebrations, seeking your advice might be a better alternative. Or at least, you might have a creative solution. I grew up Catholic, my husband is a convert. We are attempting to bring our faith more into our daily life. I really like the idea of celebrating feast days, etc. in the home and we have begun this practice. I have an actual saint's name for a middle name (intentionally), and my husband actually has a saint's name for his first name, just by coincidence. The problem is that we named our first child Eden. Obviously, after the Garden of Eden. Her middle name is significant to us, but isn't a saint's name either. Our problem is that, obviously, while we gave our daughter a biblical name, it is not a saint's name. And not having a feast day to celebrate is upsetting her. Do you have any suggestions for what liturgical day we might celebrate as her "feast" day? I don't know enough about the liturgical calendar to find any solution, as far as I can see.

Thanks, Ellen

Answer:Ellen, what a beautiful and rich name your daughter has. There's no St. Kendra either. Yet. Tell your daughter that just means we have extra motivation to live a canonize-able life!

I have a saint's middle name, so that's what I use as my name day, but for people with no saint name at all there are plenty of perfectly legitimate options.

You can pick something that sounds close. After all, most people who do have a saint's name have it in translation. For your daughter, Venerable Edel Quinn comes to mind. (She has an awesome story.)


Venerable Edel Quinn hasn't been beatified or canonized yet, but we are allowed to venerate her, because it has been established that she lived a holy life. Her death date is May 12, which traditionally becomes the feast day if the person is eventually canonized.

Or you could choose something related to the meaning of her name. Evie and Ashley and Elizabeth and Charlotte have pointed out in the comments that, of course, Catholics honor Adam and Eve as saints. Jesus visited the Limbo of the Fathers on Holy Saturday to bring the souls of the just to Heaven, who had been unable to enter until his sacrifice on the cross. The feast day of Sts. Adam and Eve is celebrated on December 24th, (also a well known Eve).


Also, Mary is the NEW Eve, so your daughter could choose one of the Marian feast days as her special one. There are lots of Marian feast days from which to choose. LOTS. Thirty-two of them, actually. And while a few of them might be a part of your family liturgical year celebrations, like the Annunciation or Our Lady of the Rosary, there are still plenty of days left that probably you're not celebrating.


OR she could choose a patron saint, any saint at all, just one that is special to her, and celebrate that saint's day as her name day. As long as it's just ONE, that's my rule for my kids who have names that are shared by many saints. You don't get ALL the John or all the Elizabeth saint days. Just one.

Hope that helps!

Cheers,
Kendra

p.s. Blessed Dina Belanger would also probably be quite pleased to become the patron of anyone without a saint's name!




Also filed under Three Special Days, comes this mailbag question . . .

Question:

Dear Kendra,

I read your three special days post . . . we have been Catholic for going on 4 years now, and I still haven't got the hang of celebrating feast days like I'd like to. For your children's namedays, what would you recommend for a family where all the children were baptized together (since we converted) and we didn't pick out specific saints at that time? Should we help them pick a saint, or use saints that happen to share their names (if there are any), or . . . ?

Thanks, Kristi

Answer:Kristi,

Congratulations and welcome! It sounds like you are currently about 26 years ahead of me in trying to celebrate the feasts, so good job. For namedays my kids use the feast day of a saint that shares their name (just one of them, not ALL the Johns or Elizabeths). If they didn't have a saint name, I'd let them pick one that was close to their name, or that they had a particular devotion to. I think in your situation, I'd make baptism day a family party, like the real day was! Maybe everyone picks one part of the meal (maybe everyone PREPARES one part of the meal!) or maybe you go out to a restaurant together. It really can be anything, the point is just to commemorate it.

Cheers,
Kendra


You might also enjoy . . .
Baby Steps to Living the Liturgical Year as a Family   Mailbag Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, nor am I an official spokesperson for the Catholic Church. (You're thinking of this guy.) If you read anything on this blog that is contrary to Church teaching, please consider it my error (and let me know!). I'm not a doctor or an expert on anything in particular. I'm just one person with a lot of experience parenting little kids and a desire to share my joy in marriage, mothering, and my faith.
If you've got a question, please send it along to catholicallyear @ gmail . com . Please let me know if you prefer that I change your name if I use your question on the blog.
p.s. Just a friendly reminder: Easter is an octave, which means eight days of solemnities, which means today is just as much Easter as last Sunday was, which means . . .


Canon 1250 All Fridays through the year and the time of Lent are penitential days and times throughout the entire Church.

Canon 1251 Abstinence from eating meat or another food according to the prescriptions of the conference of bishops is to be observed on Fridays throughout the year unless they are solemnities . . .

So, live it up people. No voluntary penance today. Unfortunately, however, I cannot guarantee a day free from involuntary penance. I'm just a blogger.

The Country Bunny and Seasons of Mothering

It had been many, many years since I had read The Country Bunny and the Little Gold Shoes by Du Bose Heyward, when we got it out of the library last year.

And I was like, "GET OUT OF MY HEAD, children's book from 1939 about how to become the Easter Bunny!" Because, seriously, I find this story quite applicable to my real life. Except for the absentee daddy bunny part. We have a very involved daddy bunny around here. Also, I don't have magic shoes.


Everyone is on her own journey, and we don't all have the same aptitudes and motivations, and things don't work out in quite the same way for any of us, but I have to say, in my particular case, the country bunny really is a model of living out seasons of mothering.

When I was a mom of only little kids, writing wasn't even on my radar. It's something I had enjoyed in my younger, unmarried, days, but -- and those of you with only little kids can back me up here -- having only little kids is really, really time consuming. And exhausting. And, somehow, even with all those hours in the day, and a house that didn't look much like I had spent a lot of time on it . . . there wasn't time to even think of anything else.

But the country bunny made me realize . . . I hadn't had to give up entirely on having some side pursuits in my life. I had just had to put them off for a bit. Just like the she did. And I've found that, quite against all conventional wisdom, a handful of my creative-type friends would tell you just the same thing.

My friend Hope is a very talented musician, my friend Molly loves theater and costume design. But each of us found ourselves married and with a family to take care of, and the important things had to be our sole focus.

I felt (and still do feel) strongly that I have a vocation to motherhood. That, first and foremost, is what I am meant to be doing with my life. There was a time when I knew that if I wanted to correspond to my vocation, I needed to give myself to it to the exclusion of outside things.

I spent the first handful of years trying to survive (and, ideally. . . eventually, thrive) while doing this mothering thing. Like the country bunny, I really tried to encourage independence, self-sufficiency, and helpfulness in my kids. It wasn't necessarily a conscious decision at first . . . there were just so many of them, that I actually needed their help.


Over the years, I realized that the more I taught them, and the more I calmly and consistently required them to help our family, the more they were able to manage small tasks and remember our routines and help each other without constant supervision and input from me.

Then one day, when I had five kids and my oldest was nine, my spiritual director told me I should write a book. At first, all I could think of was all the reasons I, of course, could not do that. I had ALL THESE KIDS. I wasn't a writer, I was their mother. There wasn't time for that.

Or was there?

I realized that I did have some freedom again. Even with pregnancies and babies and toddlers. Even with homeschooling and homemaking. I realized that, perhaps, I actually did have the time and the energy to devote to projects outside of my first responsibility of mothering. My kids weren't out of the house, they weren't even all out of diapers, but we had systems and a routine going such that it would mostly still function even if I stepped out of the picture every now and again to work on writing.

And writing turned out to be a good fit for my aptitudes and for my family.

So I wrote that book. It got published. I started writing a blog. People started reading it. And it's been manageable because I'm no longer in that season of all little kids, when it seemed like I was barely treading water. I have big kids now, who are very helpful. I have routines and systems and confidence in my mama gut, also very helpful.



My friend Hope has had a similar experience. As a mother of seven, with her youngest not even a year old, after many years away from music, she and her husband have an awesome band. She writes award-winning songs, they've released multiple albums. The husband and I are going to their concert this weekend.

My friend Molly worked in theater before she had her son, but gave it up because she didn't feel like she could dedicate herself to both in the way she would want to. But as her son gets older, she's starting to work towards organizing her life so that some work in the theater would be possible for her again, because it feels like a possibility again.

Maybe you don't have the luxury to pursue outside interests, because you need to work to support your family, or maybe you just don't have any interest in doing so, or maybe you've been able to manage it the whole time, even with all little kids. Each of those cases is completely legitimate. But, for me, being able to spend time on something outside of my primary vocation was something I thought I had given up. For me, The Country Bunny and the Little Gold Shoes is a reminder than I can let go of childhood hopes and plans, and give myself completely to mothering, and that is enough. But then maybe, those other loves I had lived without for so many years, might just find a way back into my life. Even without magic shoes.

How about you? Anyone else finding a moment here and there for some long lost pursuits alongside mothering?

Our Triduum in Photos

It's still Easter today! Happy Easter!

Let's jump in the ol' T.A.R.D.I.S. and take a look back at the Triduum, just for posterity's sake, shall we? And let's, um, go backwards. 'Cause, why not?

In case you missed it in all the hubbub yesterday, here are all the Easter photos.

Scroll to the very bottom for new free printables for the Easter season. 

Holy Saturday
Holy Saturday meant finding where I had stashed all the new Easter clothes, and making sure things all fit, and, when they didn't, making a quick trip to Old Navy.



We put away the Lent decorations, and gussied up for Easter.

We dyed (and painted) Easter eggs.



For the first time ever, we tried using the brown eggs from our backyard hens (on the bottom), as well as the white eggs from the store (on top) that we usually use.  I think the brown eggs turned out really beautifully. The colors looked really rich compared to the white eggs, I thought.






Good Friday
On Good Friday we ate hot cross buns. Yum.


We finished up the last of the Holy Week declutter and donate in the morning. 

From noon to three we read from the Bible, said the sorrowful mysteries of the Rosary, then, once the little kids were napping, walked over to venerate the cross at our local parish. In the evening we had friends over for our annual Good Friday Fish Fry, and Stations of the Cross. (Thanks, mom, for cooking!)




  Holy Thursday On Holy Thursday we did our customary morning Seven Churches Visitation. It is traditionally supposed to happen at night, after Holy Thursday services. I kept figuring, SOME day I'll be able to do that. Then, a few years ago I just decided I didn't want to keep putting it off until SOME day, so we just moved it to the morning. Each year we've tried to visit seven new to us churches. Some of our very favorites have been the non-Roman rite Catholic churches. They're so different. It's cool. We do two stations of the cross at each church. This year we brought along change the kids had been collecting during Lent, along with the thirty pieces of silver from Spy Wednesday, to put in the poor boxes.


















After naps, we watched The Prince of Egypt and ate gummy frogs. Then we went to Holy Thursday services. Then we came home for our special meal, which I've decided to start calling a Last Supper rather than a Seder, so as to avoid confusion. :) I'm not sure that Jesus had knishes, but I'm not sure that he DIDN'T either.






Finally . . . reading from the Bible and family foot washing. Lulu quite enjoyed having her own feet washed by Gus, but was having NOTHING of washing my feet.






Spy Wednesday On Spy Wednesday we had our last BIG cleaning day, then in the evening, the kids searched for Judas' thirty pieces of silver. In a new twist this year, we used flashlights. It was fun that way, but it made it tough to take photos.






In case you missed it, here was my post about the first few days of Holy Week.

And my guest post at Teaching Sam and Scout, the link didn't work when I posted about it here last time. So here's one that does work, I hope.

I hope your family will have a very fun and blessed Easter season! Speaking of Easter seasons, instead of saying the Angelus at noon, during Easter, we're supposed to say the Regina Caeli. So, I made up a printable of that for you . . .

As with all my printables, you are welcome to right click on the image and save it to your computer for your own personal use. You may print the images and or upload them and have prints made for your personal use or to give as gifts. (These are sized for 8x10 or square but will print well much bigger.) You may use my images on your blog, just please link back to my blog. If you would like to sell my images, please contact me first.

For LOTS MORE free printable prayers, check out my Pinterest board.




Enjoy!

Happy Easter from the Tierneys!

A very happy and blessed Easter from our family to yours.



Here's what our day has looked like so far . . .































And here's what we wore Easter Sunday . . .

Lulu - eighteen monthsDress and sweater: BodenHat: made by a friendShoes: Target



Frankie - threeShirt and shorts: Old NavyHat and bow tie: Gymboree Shoes: Striderite



Anita - fiveDress and sweater: BodenHat: made by a friendShoes: Target


Gus - sevenShirt: TargetPants: Old NavyHat and tie: GymboreeShoes: Striderite


Question: Mom, why do you always get ME the crazy pants?
Answer: Because this is how YOU pose for pictures . . .


Bobby - nineHat: Amazon (for Gus' Knute Rockne speech!)Shirt, bow tie, pants: Old NavyShoes: Payless


Betty - elevenDress and belt: TargetSweater: BodenShoes: Alexis Leroy via AmazonNecklace: The Country Bunny and the Little Gold Shoes


 Jack - twelve
Shirt, pants, bow tie: Old NavyShoes: DSW



Me, etc.Dress and sweater: BodenAccessories: Old NavyShoes: Miz Mooz via AmazonBump: Twenty-four weeksHusband: of thirteen years




The Family


Enjoy your day, and ALL EIGHT days of Easter, and the whole Easter season!


He is Risen!


Check out Fine Linen and Purple for more Easter best!

Holy Week Declutter and Donate

Every year, during the first three days of Holy Week, we do a big declutter and donate.

This is how I get motivated . . . We Can Do It!



Here's why it works for us . . . 

1. Since it's tied to a big event - Easter - I can't "forget" about it, or put it off forever. "Spring" cleaning would be way too vague for me. It would keep getting pushed back week after week and it then would be a hundred degrees here and I'd put it off until the next year.

2. Holy Week always follows St. Patrick's Day. Since a couple hundred people usually come to my house for the Hooley, I've already given the house a "visible to others" cleaning. Doing closets, and drawers, shelves, and the inside of the refrigerator is a logical next step.

3. Our weekends are pretty packed with sports and errands and family activities. So it's hard to squeeze an extra big project in there. We take this whole week off of school, and Holy Week things don't REALLY get started until Thursday. We use a set, weekly, homeschool curriculum, so it doesn't work that well for us to try to take just a couple of days off during a week. It's all or nothing. So that gives us a three open days, and kids off of school with nothing in particular to do is a BAD THING. Especially kids who still can't have screens because it's still Lent. I wouldn't want them to be bored . . .



4. The kids are expecting it, so there is less drama. I get significantly less push back on things like this when they know it's coming. It becomes just another family culture thing. They know that for Tierneys Holy Week is a working week. I think it's a great time for us to really run ourselves a bit ragged, then enjoy Easter and EIGHT DAYS of celebration and treats and screens all the more.

5. Same goes for me. I really don't get a lot of personal fulfillment out of big cleaning jobs. Throwing stuff out? Love it. Big organization projects? Those I can get behind. What I don't love is the REorganizing of stuff I've already organized and for which I created a perfectly lovely system, but STILL the baby toy bin has sharpies in it and EVERY bin has a layer of little Legos and a jumble of other stuff. It's the same every year. I always feel like I've spent a whole day on something and now it looks . . . how it SHOULD have looked the whole time. Blerg. Give me a cake to bake or a meal to prepare or something to sew anytime, then I'll have something to show for my efforts. But I do realize the importance of doing it. Which is exactly why it makes it a good thing for me to do during Holy Week!

I didn't take a before picture, but isn't the 'after' surprisingly underwhelming? I find myself wondering how it could possibly look other than that. Even though somewhere deep, deep, down, I know that it will not always look like this from now on.


Top half is board games and craft and science kits. Bottom half is toys. Specifically, the bins are: art supplies, boxing equipment, toy cars, baby dolls, wooden toys, laser tag guns, beyblades, girl squinkies, boy squinkies, miscellaneous other stuff, Avenger dolls large action figures, Busytown, airport, Legos, knight helmets. On the other side of the room is a play kitchen, a dress up box, and duplos. The girls have their American Girl Dolls in their rooms. And that's it for toys. It still seems like a ton of stuff somehow, but it's for seven kids, and it's a lot less than we used to have when we only had two.

Here's what we do . . . 

1. Monday: Desks, counters, and bookshelves in bedrooms. Playroom counters and toy closet. Everything gets organized and put back into its proper place, and toys and books that aren't getting used get set aside to be donated.

2. Also, Monday: New this year, I did a final clean out of the food in the freezer and made "Holy Week Soup." I boiled down all the bones and slightly past-their-prime veggies I had thrown in the freezer over the past months to make a giant pot of broth, and added meat scraps, veggies and noodles, and that's what we ate Monday through Wednesday. Our special Holy Week menu starts on Thursday, so this was a good way to get the freezer emptied AND not to have to worry about cooking dinner each night. Updated to add: this was not very popular with the kids. I still might do it again. It's a penitential week and whatnot. But they did not love having the same bone broth and veggie soup for three nights straight.



3. Tuesday: Clothes closets. Kids try on all clothes and shoes and move what doesn't fit out of the closet. I also have them inspect for stains and tears and get rid of those, too. We do laundry much more frequently now than we used to, so my kids really don't need to keep all that many clothes on hand. I'm a big fan of the Capsule Wardrobe concept, and am doing that with myself and my girls. For the boys, since we live in Los Angeles, they pretty much wear shorts and t-shirts year-round, but I want them to keep only stuff that fits them right now in their closet. And only a select few items. Seven t-shirts, two long sleeve shirts, a sweatshirt, five shorts, two pants, two sets of church clothes, some socks, shoes, and underwear. That's it. Church clothes that are still in good shape get saved, and some t shirts get moved right from one brother's section of the closet to the next, but almost everything else gets donated. I have done altogether too much careful storage of clothing that never actually ended up getting used again.

I also have them go through the dress up clothes and pick some things to donate.

In the afternoon, I had to run out and buy some new church pants and shoes and underpants for various boys. So as to avoid nekkidness.



4. Wednesday: Ideally this is just a half-day of work, so we can start prep for the Triduum, but the goal is to clean out drawers and shelves in the common areas: kitchen and living room. Pencil drawers and junk drawers get tidied, movies and books get thinned out, refrigerator and pantry shelves get wiped down and reorganized. Also school bins and shelves get reorganized.



Here's how we do it . . . 

1. Emotionally, this is more difficult for some kids than for others. Sometimes there are tears over throwing away old projects, or donating toys that aren't getting used. But I purposefully don't just do it myself in secret when the kids are asleep. I want my kids to learn generosity and detachment from possessions. Doing a purge of their things a couple of times a year helps them get used to detaching, and focusing on giving things to other children who don't have toys really helps them to be generous.

2. I make a list of all the things I hope to accomplish on a particular day. Then I let the older kids each choose one or two things from the list, for which they are responsible. They head off to do their jobs, while younger kids work with me on a bigger project. Once the little kids have at least done a little bit, I usually have the bigger kids cycle through thirty minute turns watching the little ones, so the other big kids and I can work without them underfoot.



3. I try to break up the day a bit. We start immediately after breakfast, work for about two hours, take an early lunch break, work for another two hours, then take an afternoon break. I am a person who likes an afternoon nap, especially when I'm pregnant. So, I always take an hour or two off in the afternoon. The little kids nap, and the big kids get to have a break, too, to read or play outside. Then we all work again for two hours until dinner.

4. Once someone's individual goals for the day are completed, I expect them to help someone else. (Because for Tierneys Holy Week is a working week.) But if the day's goals are all done by dinner, we get to watch a Holy Week movie together.



And now that THAT'S over with, we get to focus on our fun family Holy Week traditions, which are a lot of fun. And also very meaningful and penitential of course. :D



Spy Wednesday Thirty Pieces of Silver: Accomplished 

Speaking of things I like . . .

1. I'm guest posting over at my friend E's blog today, while she snuggles with her new baby girl. So click on over there to find out all about my new Easter dress, and my current handwork project, and my latest Netflix binge-watch, and the book that I'm adding to my not-as-good-as-the-movie list.

2. There's a cool downloadable Triduum Infographic here. It gives a good overview of what to expect and how to get the most out of the three holiest days of the year.

3. Haley has a very helpful post on Liturgical Living in April.

4. I've seen a lot of talk about this post by Taylor Marshall on whether Christians should celebrate Seder meals. (Spoiler: He says no. BIG time.) In our home, we try to replicate the food that Jesus and the apostles would have eaten at the last supper, so I serve lamb, and flat bread, and a salad of bitter herbs, and applesauce (because I made haroset one year and the kids didn't like it). But we don't attempt to replicate the prayers or ceremony of a "real" Seder meal.

That said, I think people like Mary Reed Newland of the classic book The Year & Our Children , and Monica of Equipping Catholic Families, both of whom, I believe, do advocate for prayers and ceremony of some kind, are doing so in good faith and as good Christians, and I tend to think Mr. Marshall is taking it a bit far in his conclusions here. There's no official Church teaching on the matter, so this is something upon which good Catholics are allowed to disagree.

Updated to add: If all he's saying is that folks shouldn't attempt to have a REAL Jewish Seder meal, then we agree. And I think, probably, we do agree. I just read his conclusion: "So if you are invited to participate in a Christian or Messianic seder, kindly decline. You’ll find what you’re looking for in the Mass." and cringe a bit.  There are such a wide variety of ways that good Catholics attempt to remember and commemorate various events in the life of Jesus. I just imagine some hostess somewhere getting a bunch of phone calls this afternoon with people "politely declining" their seats at her dinner party this evening, just to be on the safe side. :(

5. And this pretty much blew my mind:
For Holy Week, here’s how you can match your Myers-Briggs personality type to a patron saintIf you can remember my What I Wore Sunday posts from the past few weeks, check out INTJ. Seriously. I read it and had to look over my should to make sure I wasn't on candid camera or something. Just when you think you're all creative and unique . . . One note, the Anglicans put it together, so there's a "Saint Cranmer" on there, but if you just blur your eyes and read "St. Thomas More" instead, you should be fine. How did they do with you?

 Happy Triduum everyone, I'll see you on the other side.

A Little Peek Inside Our Easter Baskets (hint, it's mostly books) PlusGift Ideas and New Easter Printables

Happy Palm Sunday! Hosanna! Easter is one week away! Just in case you haven't finalized your family's Easter baskets, I thought I'd give you a glimpse of what is going to be in ours' this year (and yes, I pretty much JUST took care of all of this) . . .


I've been working on our collection of Advent and Christmas books over the past couple of years, and I'm really pretty satisfied with it these days. (Also, for whatever reason, I'm much better at planning ahead for Christmas. Lent is just SO long.) But our collection of Lent and Easter books is, well, almost nonexistent.

We are consciously minimizing the bringing of toys into the house, since we are all set in that department. So the kids' Easter baskets this year are going to be new Easter clothes and shoes, candy, books, and sidewalk chalk. That's it. But after a nearly-treatless Lent, they would probably be satisfied with just the candy.

Cultural-type Easter books seem a lot farther away from the true meaning of Easter, somehow, than do cultural Christmas books. You know: "Binky Bunny is sad. With the wheel off of his wagon, he and Chipper Chick will NEVER make it to the big Spring Festival on time!" But then, it is SO HARD to find religious Easter books that aren't poorly illustrated or poorly written, or both.

So, I did a lot of looking. And here's what I found in the way of Easter books (plus a couple not-so-Easter books for the older kids). The kids haven't seen them yet, but I think they all look really great.

- for Lulu, 17 months - The Easter Story, board book Oliver, board book  - for Frankie, age 3 - Richard Scarry's The Bunny Book I am a Bunny, board book - for Anita, age 5 - Rechenka's Eggs The Easter Story - for Gus, age 7 - The Egg Tree The Tale of Three Trees: A Traditional Folktale - for Bobby, age 9 - The Story of the Easter Robin Ed Emberley's Big Green Drawing Book   - for Betty, age 11 - The Country Bunny and the Little Gold Shoes Escape from Mr. Lemoncello's Library - for Jack, age 12 - Nick and Tesla's Secret Agent Gadget Battle
Nick and Tesla's Super-Cyborg Gadget GloveThese two are the third and fourth books in the Nick and Tesla series. Here is my review of the first two.

Annnd . . . counting up . . . yep. That's all of them. (For this year at least.)

We gave the kids subscriptions to Kiwi Crate for Christmas and have been really happy with it. We get all four of the available crates. Each month, a sturdy cardboard box arrives in the mail with all the supplies the kids need to do a few projects based on a particular theme.


ALL the supplies. The glue, the scissors, everything. Which is really great for me, because I can mostly mange to keep track of the children, but almost never the scissors.

A Kiwi Crate subscription would make a great Easter gift, except that it just comes when it comes in the mail. So . . . just in case that's what's been holding you back, I made up these certificates, that can be printed and put in an Easter basket.

Koala Crate is geared for ages three to five. The projects cover preschool concepts like colors, and music. Frankie can't do the projects on his own, but the older kids help him.



Kiwi Crate is meant for ages four to eight. Anita, Gus, and Bobby all get Kiwi Crate. Bobby is nine, but he still really enjoys the projects.


Betty gets Doodle Crate, which is for ages nine to sixteen plus. The craft projects are great for older girls, and have been things Betty really can use, like a pencil case, or jewelery. And she's been able to give friends and family-members homemade (but actually useable) gifts!


Finally, Jack gets Tinker Crate, which is for ages nine to fourteen. The projects are science, engineering, and robotics-based, and are challenging, but do-able for him on his own. And the projects have given him ideas for things he does on his own later.


Click here to learn more or subscribe.
And, while I'm mentioning things . . . I'll put in a quick plug here for my book. It would make a thoughtful gift, if I do say so myself, for anyone who has recently made, or will soon make a First Confession. But it's also helpful for anyone, kids OR grownups, who want to know more about the sacrament, and/or approach it well-prepared each time.
A Little Book about Confession for ChildrenAll links are Affiliate Links, clicking over and shopping through these links helps support this blog at no additional cost to you. Thanks!And now, some free Easter printables for ya!
As with all my printables, you are welcome to right click on the image and save it to your computer for your own personal use. You may print the images and or upload them and have prints made for your personal use or to give as gifts. (These are sized for 8x10 or square but will print well much bigger.) You may use my images on your blog, just please link back to my blog. If you would like to sell my images, please contact me first.

For LOTS MORE free printable prayers, check out my Pinterest board. Here is the JPII Easter quote for kids on white:
and on yellow:


And a little more grown up version on white:


and on yellow:


and square on white:

 Here are last year's Easter basket suggestions, with free things to print that are not of my making:
Last Minute Somewhat Free Easter BasketsHave a happy Palm Sunday, a fruitful Holy Week, and a joyous Easter.

What We Wore Palm Sunday . . . Me: Anthropologie, Frankie: Gymboree + Old Navy, Lulu: Vintage Knit, Anita: Old Navy, Gus: Gymboree + Old Navy, Betty: Old Navy + new haircut
for more WIWS, visit Fine Linen and Purple

Weaning: my hows, whys, and whens

Sometimes when I get a mailbag question, I can't believe I really haven't ever written on the subject before. This was one of those. I've written about breastfeeding (those posts always spark quite a discussion) and getting babies to sleep (conversation AND, um, insults on those posts) but, somehow, I've yet to share how we handle weaning around here. Thanks to Amy for asking!

The Question:

Hi Kendra,

I hope you are well!  I just got my baby down for a nap, which took 30 minutes, and had an "I should ask Kendra..." moment.

My baby (first one) is 16 months old.  I've read a lot of your parenting posts, especially on breastfeeding and other food related posts, so I know that we have similar approaches in this.

I feel a little bad about this, but I'm kind of ready to stop nursing -- at least the daytime nursing.  The morning session seems to be phasing itself out.  The pre-nap session is harder. That said, I did just get him to go down for a nap without nursing but it took a half hour for him to settle himself enough to sleep.

All that said... how did  you go about "weaning" your babies?  When did they totally stop? Did you let them lead the process?  Did some take longer than others?  Did you ever nurse while pregnant?  (I'm not... I don't think... but sometimes I wonder how that would work.)

Amy

The Answer:Great question Amy.

I've been able to exclusively breastfeed all of my babies, and to nurse them for over a year, which has worked really well for us. I'm awfully grateful for the ease and convenience of it, and it has always fit
really well into my lifestyle.

Figuring out nursing was a bit emotionally taxing and physically painful for me with the first couple babies, but then it got pretty darn easy with all the rest (until I got a silly nursing injury with Lulu, my seventh, and spent a few days fighting back tears every time she had to nurse). But I'd say, mostly, I've been very fortunate and have really loved breastfeeding. I'm happy to nurse my babies pretty much on demand, whenever, wherever, and let them start solid foods on their own as they're interested in them. However, for most of my babies, figuring out solid food hasn't translated into not wanting to nurse. I've only have one baby wean himself (it was Frankie, of course). For all the others, at around fourteen months or so, I just start feeling a bit spent on it all. I'm usually pregnant again by that point, and ready to be able to share nap and bedtime routines with my husband (or now with my big kids) and have my body back to myself a bit (as much as that's possible for someone who is pregnant).
I know there are lots of schools of thought on this, and lots of passionately held opinions. So, I'm going to put a quick disclaimer in here saying that I realize that there are many legitimate reasons that a mom wouldn't be able to exclusively breastfeed for as long as I have (thus far) been able to do. I also understand that many moms choose extended nursing, and that that works well for them and their kids.

I haven't felt like extended nursing was something my babies so far have needed, and it hasn't been something I felt like I wanted or needed to take on. And I have found that, for my kids, there has been kind of a magic window between thirteen and sixteen or seventeen months, when they don't really NEED to nurse anymore, but they're not quite aware enough to have the process of weaning be all that traumatic. I only nursed one baby to eighteen months, because we were postponing pregnancy. And the process with her was definitely more stressful than it has been with my others. She could talk about nursing, and she remembered it and wanted it, even if we had already skipped a day or two. It was harder than I think it needed to be on both of us.

That experience with Anita convinced me that I either want to wean by sixteen or seventeen months, or be prepared to wait until past two, when they are a bit more reasonable.

The way I approach weaning is pretty much just what you've been doing.

I start by not offering during the day, and providing baby with snacks and water or milk in a sippy cup. Instead of pulling baby into bed with me in the morning to nurse, or snuggling down in a chair to nurse (and watch TV) after naps, I just get us going right away. We have a snack, and we do something active, so baby doesn't really think about nursing. In that way we get down to just nursing before naps and bedtime.

I co-sleep with my babies for six to nine months or so, then transition them to a crib in conjunction with sleep-training, that still involves some nighttime nursing. I've always sleep-trained my babies before I wean them, so they are already familiar with sleeping in a crib on their own, and with soothing, <cough -or sometimes crying- cough> themselves to sleep, on days that they don't nurse completely to sleep. I have no idea how people wean while co-sleeping. I suppose it's possible, but I can't wrap my head around it.

During the weaning process, daddy takes over the bedtime routine for at least a couple of days. Baby isn't expecting to be nursed by him, so that seems to go more smoothly than me trying to just put a confused baby down with no nursing. After a few days of that, then I am able to substitute reading a book, or singing and rocking for a bit in the baby's room, for nursing, then I can just lay him down in the crib and leave.

For my babies, this has worked very quickly (a day or two) and with only a little unhappiness and no trauma to the baby.

I just try to be really upbeat, and consistent about it. I think if I acted worried about it, my babies would sense that, and I think giving in and nursing every once in a while would probably make the process take a lot longer than if I just go ahead and do it, once we're down to only a couple sessions a day, anyway.

My two outliers have been Frankie and Anita. Frankie flash-weaned himself at twelve months, he just flat out refused to nurse. So that was that. And, like I said, with Anita it was a longer, more difficult process that involved a lot of unhappiness and attempting to reason with and explain to a baby who wasn't really able to understand. But even with her, the whole process only took a couple of weeks. And then she was fine. So perhaps I'm making too big a deal of the age on this anyway.

Like everything with parenting, a calm but firm attitude, having age-appropriate expectations, and being really consistent, seems to make everything go more smoothly.

Anyway, I hope things have been going well with it. You can do it. And it's okay to want to.

Good luck!

Cheers,

KendraSome additional reading . . . 
Breastfeeding posts:
Lactivism, aka I'll Teach YOU How to Feel About NursingI Want it All: a Nourished Baby AND Good Manners (also superpowers)Solid food posts: Starting Baby on Solid Foods for Moms Who Don't Have Time For That Sort of ThingI Do Not Cook Two Dinners: how we avoid mealtime battlesThese two are about sleep training, which isn't what you asked, but mom-lead weaning might well include some crying oneself to sleep for the baby, and I really, really think that's okay.
Have a Baby They Said . . . It Will Sleep Like a Baby They SaidHow I Changed My Mind About Sleep Training

Mailbag Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, nor am I an official spokesperson for the Catholic Church. (You're thinking of this guy.) If you read anything on this blog that is contrary to Church teaching, please consider it my error (and let me know!). I'm not a doctor or an expert on anything in particular. I'm just one person with a lot of experience parenting little kids and a desire to share my joy in marriage, mothering, and my faith.
If you've got a question, please send it along to catholicallyear @ gmail . com . Please let me know if you prefer that I change your name if I use your question on the blog.

Five Family Movies for Holy Week on Netflix

Movies can be a great way to bring families together, and a great way to help kids understand complicated concepts. Holy Week is an excellent time to do both of those things. So, even though we give up our family screen time during Lent, our family Holy Week traditions include watching some movies together. 

And they're available on Netflix streaming! (Clicking on the movie title should open it for you in Netflix, if you are logged into your account. Or click "DVD" to find a copy that way, whether or not you have Netflix.)



So, here they are . . .


- 1. Jonah: A Veggie Tales Movie -Jonah, who spends three days in the belly of a whale, is an Old Testament prefigurement of Jesus, which makes this movie a good choice for Holy Week. Also, the Ninevites slap each other with fish, which is pretty great, any time. We've watched quite a few Veggie Tales movies, but I think this one is my favorite of them all. The songs are fun, the characters are charming, it's a fun watch for the whole family.  (also available on DVD from Netflix or here)




- 2. The Prince of Egypt - I really can't recommend this animated movie of the life of Moses highly enough. It has an all-star voice cast, and beautiful songs, and beautiful visuals. It's also the perfect thing to watch on Holy Thursday, as it features the Ten Plagues of Egypt and the Passover, which Jesus and his disciples were commemorating at the Last Supper. (also available on DVD from Netflix or here)



- 3. The Robe -This classic movie from 1953, starring a young Richard Burton, has the distinction of being the first movie ever shot in the super widescreen "CinemaScope" format. Oooooh. It is the story of a Roman officer, tormented by having participated in the crucifixion of Jesus. It's an old school Hollywood epic, complete with a cast of thousands, dramatic music, and a healthy dose of grimacing overacting. But, somehow, it still gets a lot right. Particularly the efficacy of relics, the freedom in forgiveness, and a very counter-cultural happy ending. There are cheesy bits, but overall it's still a really worthwhile film. It's appropriate for the whole family, but might not hold the attention of preschoolers. (available on streaming only through 4/1/2015, also available on DVD from Netflix or here)



- 4. The Gospel of John -This is a narration of the complete text of the Gospel of John, over the background of a very impressive visual representation of all of the events of the gospel. The entire movie is two hours and forty minutes, which might be a good way to spend the hours of noon to three pm on Good Friday. Or, if you don't have that much time, you can start at about 1:30 in, and watch beginning on Palm Sunday. The depiction of Jesus' passion is pretty restrained, all things considered (no whips are shown cutting in to his skin, we don't see the nails go in), but we do see Jesus' bloodied body, and his crucifixion. I would feel comfortable showing it to even my little kids. But it might be too intense for some. (available exclusively on Netflix streaming)




- 5. The Passion of the Christ -I'm probably not going to tell you anything you don't already know about this movie. It's beautifully done, but very raw and painful to watch. As it should be, right? But this movie isn't for everyone, and it isn't for young children. I can't handle watching it every year, but our oldest is nearly thirteen, and I think we might watch it with him this Good Friday, after the other kids have gone to bed. (also available on DVD from Netflix or here)

For more family activities for Holy Week, check out . . .

Lent: The End Begins (Ideas and Printables for Holy Week and Easter) and
The "You Can Still Do This" Guide to All Things Holy WeekAND . . . I've been meaning to sit down and put together a scripture-based Passion Play for kids, like the Nativity Play we do for Christmas. But now I don't have to, because Elena from Barefoot and Sometimes Pregnant has just taken care of it. There are options for longer and shorter versions, and it's really pretty much just what I would have done, if I had done it, which I didn't. A Passion Play for Kids
And that's my honest opinion. But this is a sponsored post. (Also, I need us all to pretend that this is April, because I'm supposed to do one of these per month.)




What have I missed? Do YOU have any favorite Holy Week movies?

A Twelve Year Old Boy Reviews Cinderella

Last week, I took just my two older daughters to see Cinderella. I liked it. A LOT. They liked it a LOT. We've all been singing Lavender's Blue pretty much nonstop ever since. I felt pretty confident recommending it to women and girls. (And I did. I recommended the heck out of it. Maleficent . . . not so much.) But I couldn't be sure how it would go over with boys. So this weekend, I went again. This time with the whole family. My twelve year old son, Jack, was kind enough to agree to be interviewed and share with you a DIFFERENT perspective.



Me: What are your favorite movies?

Jack: I like movies with action and lots of funny parts. And fighting.

Was this movie as excellent as you thought it was going to be?

Ummm . . . yes. Yes it was.

Hah. Well, played. Does that mean you liked it?

It's still definitely a princess movie. Actually, I guess she went straight to being a queen, didn't she? Anyway, it had some funny parts. Like the goose who gets turned into a coachman, pointing out that he was a goose and therefore did not know how to drive. 

You have a few sisters, does that mean you also see a lot of princess movies?

Yes. I thought this movie was better than most princess movies. Not as good as Tangled or The Frog Princess, but at least on par with Brave or Frozen (the FIRST TIME you see it).

This movie is WAY better than Brave or Frozen. Anyway. What did you think of the prince character?

He was pretty good. I liked that he stood up for what he believed in with his father. He was brave but also respectful. He wore tights, though. It's hard to take a guy wearing tights seriously.

How about the fathers? Wasn't it nice to have some GOOD fathers in a movie for once, instead of them always being portrayed as idiots or evil?

I like Darth Vader better.

But that's exactly what I mean. He's TOTALLY evil. He's trying to corrupt his son, and barring that, kill him.



I know! That's a REAL bad guy. Not just a step mother who laughs at you and sends you to your room. Your room that you could totally escape from.

Who is a character in this movie that boys can look up to?

The prince is good, I guess.

How is he good?

Well, he's not a pushover, but he's not a tyrant either. When he is hunting, he listens to what Cinderella says, and he gives her his reasons, but he listens to her reasons too, and he decides to change his mind.

Does anyone extend that same courtesy to him later on?

Huh. Yeah, I guess so. The king listens to him and changes his mind about him having to marry the princess from "zztharragoztha."

What did you think of Cinderella? Are there any things in her character that a boy could learn from?

I think a boy could learn that if he's locked in an attic by an evil stepmother, he should just wait for some mice to accidentally reveal his presence to some rescuers. Rather than, say, opening a window himself and just getting out of there.

But she wanted to stay in the house because it reminded her of her mother. Right?

Yeah. I don't really get that. Plus, she seemed happy enough to leave with the prince.

Good point. How about the overall message of the movie?

Always be yourself.

Isn't that more the message of My Little Pony?

No. The message of My Little Pony is that if you can find where you truly belong you will get a magical butt tattoo that depicts your interests.

Really? Maybe I should be paying more attention to that show. But, what did you learn from this movie?

The catch phrase was "be kind and have courage." So I learned that?

Don't you think that's a good lesson? Didn't that allow Cinderella to be happy and be a good person even in difficult circumstances? Isn't that applicable to boys?

Yes. I think it's a good lesson. Cinderella didn't make that up though. Kindness and courage are virtues. 

So, if any brothers out there are wondering if they should go see this movie, what would you tell them?

A lot of it would depend on if there is candy and popcorn. If there is candy and popcorn, you might not hate it.

Jack out.


Some other expert opinions . . .

Frankie (3): I liked the DANcing. And da goose. Dat was willy willy funny.

Gus (7): I liked it. Not the kissing. But I liked it.

Bobby (9): I liked the fencing part.

The husband: I enjoyed it. But I don't think I liked it better than the classic version. The animals are more interesting characters in that one.


Betty and Anita liked it just as much the second time around. Lulu . . . made it. But if you don't have to take a one and a half year old to the movies with you, please don't.

For more of Jack's favorites, see . . .
Big Hero 6: Jack Has Some ThoughtsWhat's All This, Now, About "Guardians of the Galaxy"?
In totally, completely, other news . . .  
Also today, I'm the Catholic on "Ask a Catholic" at A Home Called Shalom, trying to help our non-Catholic friends understand what is the deal with Catholics and Lent. Click on over and let Allyson know if I got it right.

Lent: The End Begins (Ideas and Printables for Holy Week and Easter)

Today is the fifth Sunday of Lent, traditionally known as Passion Sunday. This is the day on which images and statues are often veiled in churches. We like to do this in our home as well. (I used think we were supposed to do this for all of Lent, but have recently been corrected. You learn something new everyday!) Basically, we're supposed to be reminded to buckle down and Lent it up for these next two weeks.

What I Wore Sunday: Dress = Anthropologie, Bump = Twenty-two weeks
Anita and Lulu are sporting Old Navy
Frankie is in Costco and a handmade bow-tie from my friend Marquette


 March 25th, Wednesday, is the Annunciation! It's a solemnity, so celebrating is mandatory.

We'll be doing this:
Kids Don't Forget a Thing Like Waffles for DinnerAnd saying this:

But then, RIGHT BACK TO LENT.

In the hopes of helping you (and me) do that. I'm going to share some brand new printables, and tell you all about how our family observes Holy Week and prepares for Easter. If you're a visual learner and/or too busy to remember things like days of the week, you could print them each out and put a new one up on the fridge each day to remind you which day it is.

As with all my printables, you are welcome to right click on the image and save it to your computer for your own personal use. You may print the images and or upload them and have prints made for your personal use or to give as gifts. You may use my images on your blog, just please link back to my blog. If you would like to sell my images, please contact me first.

For LOTS MORE free printable prayers, check out my Pinterest board.





Palm Sunday commemorates Jesus' triumphant entry into Jerusalem. The priest wears red, we wave palms, it all seems quite celebratory. But there's some subtext going on we don't want to miss. The priest's vestments are red, and red vestments are kind of all over the place. Priests wear them to celebrate feasts of the Holy Spirit, but also the feasts of martyrs. The red reminds us of Jesus' upcoming suffering. We wave palms and shout "hosanna!" just like the people lining the streets of Jerusalem did. But those same people, *WE* turn on Jesus just days later, and start demanding that he be crucified.



We try to wear red to Mass that day (I think my dress will fit again this year, but not Lulu's), and when we get home with our palms, I confiscate them so the kids won't have any (more) sword fights with them, and make a little display on our little altar table.


I plan to serve something red, like spaghetti and meatballs, alongside this salad, which is pretty much perfect . . .
Spinach, Strawberry, and Hearts of Palm Salad
And now, on to Holy Week . . .

Here is the post I wrote last year detailing what we do each day of Holy Week (click on the title not the image to go to the post).

The "You Can Still Do This" Guide to All Things Holy WeekBut here's the cliff's notes version, with the new images . . . 
To read . . .  Matthew 26: 1-16 To do . . .Our activity for the day is a little social experiment on the kids in which they get to learn about the power of money to turn people against each other. Read all about it here.
To eat . . .  I don't actually have a usual menu for Spy Wednesday. Leftovers probably, we need to make room in the fridge. Unless anyone has any suggestions?




Holy Thursday is another happy/sad day. The institution of the Eucharist and of the priesthood is something to celebrate, but Jesus' betrayal and arrest is something to lament. So we do both.
To read . . . Matthew 26:17-27:10I like to point out to my kids that Peter betrayed Jesus just as much as Judas did. But Peter repented and asked for forgiveness, while Judas despaired and took his own life. And that makes all the difference.
To do . . . It's a busy day for us. The busiest of the week. We do a Seven Churches Visitation, a family Last Supper with rice krispy lamb cake, go to Mass, wash each other's feet, and watch a movie.
To eat . . . We try to duplicate what Jesus and the twelve would have eaten for dinner that night, without attempting to replicate all the prayers and ceremony that would have gone along with it. I cook lamb chops, and serve them with a bitter herb salad, flatbread, potato knishes, and applesauce. See this post for all the recipes.




We keep Good Friday quiet and solemn around here, as much as we are able. Which, truth be told isn't THAT much.  But we try.

To read . . .

Matthew 27:11-66

For how we handle talking to little kids about the events of this day, check out . . .


How to Talk to Little Kids About the Crucifixion
To do . . . We'll attend Good Friday services if we are able, or just visit a quiet church with an empty adoration chapel and venerate the cross. As the last of our Lenten soup and stations get togethers, we'll host friends for a simple southern catfish fry, and do the stations of the cross. If there's time, the kids will watch this movie, and there's always this one for grownups, if it's your cup of tea. It's not for everyone, and that's okay. I can handle it every few years.
To eat . . . We have hot cross buns for breakfast (but they're little, so it counts as half a breakfast) and something light for lunch, then fried catfish, coleslaw, cornbread, and water for dinner. For more details, see this post.




Holy Saturday isn't actually ALL that restful around here. There's a lot of stuff to do. But we do try to spend the day mindful that this is the day Jesus' body was in the tomb, and the rest of him was collecting his dad and the rest of the good guys from the Limbo of the Fathers.

To read . . . 

"And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom. And the rich man also died: and he was buried in hell" Luke 16:22
"Now that he ascended, what is it, but because he also descended first into the lower parts of the earth" Ephesians 4:9
"Because Christ also died once for our sins, the just for the unjust: that he might offer us to God, being put to death indeed in the flesh, but enlivened in the spirit, In which also coming he preached to those spirits that were in prison: Which had been some time incredulous, when they waited for the patience of God in the days of Noe, when the ark was a building: wherein a few, that is, eight souls, were saved by water." 1 Peter 3:18-20
"And he said to Jesus: Lord, remember me when thou shalt come into thy kingdom. And Jesus said to him: Amen I say to thee, this day thou shalt be with me in paradise" Luke 23:42-43

To do . . . We put away our Lent decorations, and decorate for Easter. We dye our Easter eggs and do our meal preparation for Easter dinner. We do not attend Easter Egg Hunts or other Easter celebrations on Holy Saturday. If you have family that starts celebrating on Holy Saturday, you'll have to make that judgement call for your own selves. We take the big kids to the Vigil.
To eat . . . I've made these in previous years, but they are kind of labor intensive, and frankly, I don't really need more work the day before Easter. So, unless the kids remember them and there is a great outcry, probably we'll skip them this year. Other than that, I just try to use up leftovers.



And then . . . it's Easter!


For some Easter basket ideas, check out this post . . .


Last Minute Somewhat Free Easter BasketsAnd for more photos of last year's goings on and more free printables, see this post:An Easter Present for All of You but Mostly Bonnie and a Triduum / Easter RecapI'll still be around the blog between now and then, but I'll take a moment here to wish you a very fruitful Holy Week, and the most joyful of Easters!

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