Kendra Tierney's Blog, page 22
February 16, 2015
Feast Then Fast: Tips for Fat Tuesday, Resources for Lent, Free Printables, and a Little Contest
Lent is nigh, you guys. It is NIGH. Hope you're ready. If you're not, I might be able to help . . . with some recommendations, and some free printables, and a contest.
But let's not get ahead of ourselves, shall we?
Because before Ash Wednesday, comes Fat Tuesday (aka Shrove Tuesday, Pancake Tuesday, Mardi Gras). We are an Easter people, people, even in the face of Lent. And before this fast, we feast. So, be a good Catholic and go get your ashes, and observe the fast, and fire up your voluntary Lenten disciplines. But first, have some fun on Fat Tuesday! (Nice fun, I mean. I've never been to New Orleans or Rio for Mardi Gras, but I'm relatively certain they and I have rather different things in mind for what constitutes a fun Mardi Gras.)
For all the details on what we usually do at our house, check out this post. THIS year, I'm going to throw some canned cinnamon rolls in a bundt cake pan and make a super easy faux king cake. 'Cause I'm just not in a baking from scratch place right now.
During naptime, the kids will get to make their masks. There are a ton of easy printable masks available online . . .
Traditional Mardi Gras masks:
found here
Animal masks:
found here
Superhero masks:
found hereAll very fun for kids to wear, and pretty easy for moms to manage. Print, color, cut. You can attach some elastic, or glue a popsicle stick to the bottom, or just tape it to junior's forehead. He's not going to want to wear it for that long anyway, right?
For dinner, I'm going to make my shrimp etoufee recipe (you can find it in the comments of this post) because I have big kids I can make peel the shrimp, and after that it's pretty easy.
Then we'll eat up what we can of the treats, and toss the rest. And maybe a family dance party, and maybe a family movie. But it's going to be fun.
YOU are fun too, I just know it. And I want to see it. So, take a picture of how you and/or your kids are celebrating Fat Tuesday. Share it to the Catholic All Year Facebook page or put it on Instagram and tag me @kendra_tierney. Use the hashtag #feastthenfast so we can all find each other. Or email it to me at CatholicAllYear @ gmail.com. Have your photos in to me by 10am Pacific on Ash Wednesday, and at noonish, I'll announce the four winners, who will receive some very useful prizes (see below).
That taken care of, you'll be able to move on into Lent knowing you are a fun and well-balanced person.
Hopefully you've already sorted out what you're giving up or taking up for Lent (here are some ideas) and you've decided what to do about the whole Sunday thing (read more about that from me here and from Daniel Bearman Stewart here), but maybe now you're looking for a way to engage with Lent daily in a meaningful and productive way.
I've got a couple of last-minute, easily downloadable Lent resources for you.
First, is the very popular Blessed is She 2015 Lent Journal. The hard copy version has sold out, but you can still order a download of the 62 paged journal of readings and reflections for Lent.
Download it, print it out at home, and use the pages to to have an intentional, prayerful Lent.
Two of you will in it in the #feastthenfast contest, or click over to Blessed is She and order one now.
A perfect compliment to the Blessed is She Journal, is the Lenten Magnificat Companion 2015 iOS App.
Finally, a couple of free printables from me to you . . .
This is what our family Lent calendar looks like (when something weird is going on with my black ink in the color printer):
We've got our Family Lent Rules in the middle, surrounded by a bunch of Lent-ish clipart pictures the kids cut out and tape to the door. I started doing a Lent calendar with the kids so I would have somewhere to point when they start asking me if it's almost Easter. (Which usually starts sometime Thursday afternoon.)
You can download all the pictures, plus our Family Lent Rules, in a pdf here.
There are more pictures than you need, I just let the kids cut them out and put up the ones they want. We put up the six square pastel Sunday ones (actually we'll only use five this year since one of the feasts we usually celebrate falls on a Sunday this year). There are pictures for each of the feasts that we celebrate as a family that (usually) fall during Lent: February 22 is the Feast of the Chair of St. Peter, March 17 is St Patrick's Day, March 19th is St. Joseph's Day, and March 25th is The Annunciation. Then we put up enough of the other pictures to add up to 46 pictures. I wish the pictures themselves were cooler, but they were the best I could find in Microsoft word clipart. It gets the job done, anyway!
And here's a printable Lenten quote, to get you all fired up . . .
You're welcome to right click and save any of these images. You may print them for your own personal use or as gifts. You can upload them to photo labs, like Shutterfly or Costco or Target, and have them printed there. They are sized at 8x10, but can be printed smaller or larger. You are also welcome to use them on your blog, just please link back to my blog. If you wish to download them to use in a product to sell, please contact me.
And that's that. I wish you a super-fun Fat Tuesday, and a super-productive Lent.
For all my other Lent posts in one place, see here:
Lent Cometh: perhaps everything you'll ever need to know to have the best Lent ever
But let's not get ahead of ourselves, shall we?
Because before Ash Wednesday, comes Fat Tuesday (aka Shrove Tuesday, Pancake Tuesday, Mardi Gras). We are an Easter people, people, even in the face of Lent. And before this fast, we feast. So, be a good Catholic and go get your ashes, and observe the fast, and fire up your voluntary Lenten disciplines. But first, have some fun on Fat Tuesday! (Nice fun, I mean. I've never been to New Orleans or Rio for Mardi Gras, but I'm relatively certain they and I have rather different things in mind for what constitutes a fun Mardi Gras.)
For all the details on what we usually do at our house, check out this post. THIS year, I'm going to throw some canned cinnamon rolls in a bundt cake pan and make a super easy faux king cake. 'Cause I'm just not in a baking from scratch place right now.
During naptime, the kids will get to make their masks. There are a ton of easy printable masks available online . . .
Traditional Mardi Gras masks:
found hereAnimal masks:
found hereSuperhero masks:
found hereAll very fun for kids to wear, and pretty easy for moms to manage. Print, color, cut. You can attach some elastic, or glue a popsicle stick to the bottom, or just tape it to junior's forehead. He's not going to want to wear it for that long anyway, right?For dinner, I'm going to make my shrimp etoufee recipe (you can find it in the comments of this post) because I have big kids I can make peel the shrimp, and after that it's pretty easy.
Then we'll eat up what we can of the treats, and toss the rest. And maybe a family dance party, and maybe a family movie. But it's going to be fun.
YOU are fun too, I just know it. And I want to see it. So, take a picture of how you and/or your kids are celebrating Fat Tuesday. Share it to the Catholic All Year Facebook page or put it on Instagram and tag me @kendra_tierney. Use the hashtag #feastthenfast so we can all find each other. Or email it to me at CatholicAllYear @ gmail.com. Have your photos in to me by 10am Pacific on Ash Wednesday, and at noonish, I'll announce the four winners, who will receive some very useful prizes (see below).
That taken care of, you'll be able to move on into Lent knowing you are a fun and well-balanced person.
Hopefully you've already sorted out what you're giving up or taking up for Lent (here are some ideas) and you've decided what to do about the whole Sunday thing (read more about that from me here and from Daniel Bearman Stewart here), but maybe now you're looking for a way to engage with Lent daily in a meaningful and productive way.
I've got a couple of last-minute, easily downloadable Lent resources for you.
First, is the very popular Blessed is She 2015 Lent Journal. The hard copy version has sold out, but you can still order a download of the 62 paged journal of readings and reflections for Lent.
This journal is written and designed for all of us. We are the Marys and Marthas. We love the lord, but we are women with many tasks—in our homes, in our work & in our world. We struggle to set our busy ways aside, even for the One we love.Let his words remind us this Lent that there is need of only one thing. To be like Mary sitting at his feet, listening to his word & waiting to be transformed by his love.
Download it, print it out at home, and use the pages to to have an intentional, prayerful Lent.
Two of you will in it in the #feastthenfast contest, or click over to Blessed is She and order one now.
A perfect compliment to the Blessed is She Journal, is the Lenten Magnificat Companion 2015 iOS App.
Two of you will win a download of the app in the #feastthenfast contest, or head over the the app store and get it for yourself now.The Lenten Companion App is designed to help you live all the graces of Lent.Presented in a day-by-day format, the Lenten Companion App contains:LITURGY – daily Mass prayers and Scripture readings
PRAYER – a cycle of prayers for morning, evening, and night inspired by the Liturgy of the Hours
MEDITATION – spiritual reflections for each day of Lent
Other unique features include:
ESSAYS – to enlighten , inspire, and deepen your relationship with God
POETRY – capturing the spirit of the season
PENANCE SERVICE – to prepare well for your Lenten confession
DEVOTIONAL PRAYERS – for various occasions and growing in faith
CHANTS – for Lent and Easter… listen while you read and pray
This one-of-a-kind application has been developed with the needs of your prayer life in mind. Use it to grow in love and knowledge of Christ and the Church this Lenten season.
Finally, a couple of free printables from me to you . . .
This is what our family Lent calendar looks like (when something weird is going on with my black ink in the color printer):
We've got our Family Lent Rules in the middle, surrounded by a bunch of Lent-ish clipart pictures the kids cut out and tape to the door. I started doing a Lent calendar with the kids so I would have somewhere to point when they start asking me if it's almost Easter. (Which usually starts sometime Thursday afternoon.)
You can download all the pictures, plus our Family Lent Rules, in a pdf here.
There are more pictures than you need, I just let the kids cut them out and put up the ones they want. We put up the six square pastel Sunday ones (actually we'll only use five this year since one of the feasts we usually celebrate falls on a Sunday this year). There are pictures for each of the feasts that we celebrate as a family that (usually) fall during Lent: February 22 is the Feast of the Chair of St. Peter, March 17 is St Patrick's Day, March 19th is St. Joseph's Day, and March 25th is The Annunciation. Then we put up enough of the other pictures to add up to 46 pictures. I wish the pictures themselves were cooler, but they were the best I could find in Microsoft word clipart. It gets the job done, anyway!
And here's a printable Lenten quote, to get you all fired up . . .
You're welcome to right click and save any of these images. You may print them for your own personal use or as gifts. You can upload them to photo labs, like Shutterfly or Costco or Target, and have them printed there. They are sized at 8x10, but can be printed smaller or larger. You are also welcome to use them on your blog, just please link back to my blog. If you wish to download them to use in a product to sell, please contact me.
And that's that. I wish you a super-fun Fat Tuesday, and a super-productive Lent.
For all my other Lent posts in one place, see here:
Lent Cometh: perhaps everything you'll ever need to know to have the best Lent ever
February 12, 2015
Seven Free Printable Catholic Valentines
In honor of Saint Valentine's Day . . .
Here are seven different free printable Catholic valentines, featuring saint quotes and Bible verses, made by yours truly.
You're welcome to right click and save any of these images. You may print them for your own personal use or as gifts. You can upload them to photo labs, like Shutterfly or Costco or Target, and have them printed there. They are sized at 8x10, but can be printed smaller or larger. You are also welcome to use them on your blog, just please link back to my blog. If you wish to download them to use in a product to sell, please contact me.
1. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. - 1 Corinthians 13:7
2. Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul. -St. Augustine
3. We become what we love and who we love shapes what we become. -St. Clare of Assisi
4. It is love alone that gives worth to all things. -St. Teresa of Avila
5. You learn to love by loving. -St. Francis de Sales
6. Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. -1 Corinthians 13:4-7
7. If we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is perfected in us. -1 John 4:12
Happy St. Valentine's Day!
For more free printable prayers, see my Pinterest board:
PRINTABLE PRAYERSFor more on Valentine's Day, see . . . Tierney Bistro: Child Labor at its Finest, for St. Valentine's Day "Overacheiving Pinterest Moms" Probably Aren't Making Valentines *AT* You
Linking up with Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum for Seven Quick Takes!
Here are seven different free printable Catholic valentines, featuring saint quotes and Bible verses, made by yours truly.
You're welcome to right click and save any of these images. You may print them for your own personal use or as gifts. You can upload them to photo labs, like Shutterfly or Costco or Target, and have them printed there. They are sized at 8x10, but can be printed smaller or larger. You are also welcome to use them on your blog, just please link back to my blog. If you wish to download them to use in a product to sell, please contact me.
1. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. - 1 Corinthians 13:7
2. Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul. -St. Augustine
3. We become what we love and who we love shapes what we become. -St. Clare of Assisi
4. It is love alone that gives worth to all things. -St. Teresa of Avila
5. You learn to love by loving. -St. Francis de Sales
6. Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. -1 Corinthians 13:4-7
7. If we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is perfected in us. -1 John 4:12
Happy St. Valentine's Day!
For more free printable prayers, see my Pinterest board:
PRINTABLE PRAYERSFor more on Valentine's Day, see . . . Tierney Bistro: Child Labor at its Finest, for St. Valentine's Day "Overacheiving Pinterest Moms" Probably Aren't Making Valentines *AT* You
Linking up with Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum for Seven Quick Takes!
February 11, 2015
Celebrating Birthdays That Fall During Lent?
I'm once again striding boldly into the dangerous, churning waters of Lenten "breaks." This time to answer a mailbag question . . .
Question:
Answer:
Hey Maureen,
There isn't an official church teaching on this, so you get to go with your gut on this one. For our family, we do celebrate birthdays with cake and treats, even if they fall during Lent. Just like specific religious orders celebrate particular days as special feasts for their order, we treat birthdays, name days, or baptism days as special family feast days . . . even if they fall during Lent.
It's not a free-for-all day. We mostly maintain the rest of our voluntary Lenten disciplines, but if it's a "special day" -- either one of the liturgical calendar feast days that falls during Lent, or a family birthday -- we have a special dinner and a dessert.
But not every family does. My grandmother will turn 95 this year, and she's never in her life had a birthday cake. She had a sister with juvenile diabetes, and her birthday is on St. Patrick's Day, which always falls during Lent. So, no birthday cake. Ever. And it doesn't seem to have bothered her any. Still, I'm not sure every kid would be as understanding.
We actually don't have any spring birthdays in our immediate family, but my oldest daughter's birthday is in early February, and it once fell on Ash Wednesday. We weren't going to have a special dinner and treats on THAT day, so we just celebrated early. If you're not comfortable serving treats on a regular Lenten day, you could always celebrate on a Sunday.
Every Lent, the kids get invited to a couple of birthday parties for friends. We always gratefully accept the invitations and show up ready to have fun. We eat the food that's set before us, without being gluttons, of course. But ruining other people's birthdays is NOT one of our voluntary Lenten disciplines.
Many Catholics have conflated giving up sugar with the observation of Lent. But Lent is about so much more than sweets, anyway. There are TONS of other ways to grow and better myself during Lent (here are sixty-six of them). If I'm living my Lent as a time to really try to perfect myself -- yelling less, praying more, engaging with my children, attending daily Mass -- there's just no way a birthday cake is going to derail that.
That said, I, personally, don't throw parties on Holy Saturday. Again, this isn't an official doctrinal thing, it's just my opinion. But it's because that's the one day of the year . . . that we really feel Our Lord's absence. He's absent from tabernacles. There's no Mass celebrated (as with on Good Friday). In our home we use it as a day of preparation and quiet. And just because there are so many secular egg hunts and whatnot on Holy Saturday, our kids just know that, as a family culture thing, Tierneys just don't participate in that stuff.
The weekend before is Palm Sunday, which would be a great day for a celebratory brunch. You could decorate with palm fronds, and . . . um, donkeys? Up to you.
Cheers,
Kendra
Update: Maureen wrote back to point out that another drawback of having a party on Holy Saturday, would be the need to prepare for it on Good Friday.
Some related posts you might enjoy . . .
Sundays in Lent: We Can't ALL Be Right About ThisEvery Kid is Special (three days per year) How to Win At Lent
Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, nor am I an official spokesperson for the Catholic Church. (You're thinking of this guy.) If you read anything on this blog that is contrary to Church teaching, please consider it my error (and let me know!). I'm not a doctor or an expert on anything in particular. I'm just one person with a lot of experience parenting little kids and a desire to share my joy in marriage, mothering, and my faith.
If you've got a question, please send it along to catholicallyear @ gmail . com . Please let me know if you prefer that I change your name if I use your question on the blog.
Question:
Hi Kendra! My youngest is celebrating his first birthday next month and I'm wondering how to celebrate a birthday in Lent. I guess a Sunday would be our best bet. But I'm working around my husband's work schedule (which includes nights and weekends) and our son's godparents' very busy schedules. So, if I couldn't make a Sunday work, would you still go ahead and serve cake and treats? What do you think about a birthday party on Holy Saturday? I'm thinking maybe a brunch with a bunny theme. Would that be okay? (I would only go bunnies on Holy Saturday. Otherwise, I'd choose a different theme.) One factor that puts me in favor of Holy Saturday (other than the idea of a super cute bunny brunch!) is the (hopefully!) warmer weather could allow the kids to play outside. What are your thoughts? Maureen
Answer:
Hey Maureen,
There isn't an official church teaching on this, so you get to go with your gut on this one. For our family, we do celebrate birthdays with cake and treats, even if they fall during Lent. Just like specific religious orders celebrate particular days as special feasts for their order, we treat birthdays, name days, or baptism days as special family feast days . . . even if they fall during Lent.
It's not a free-for-all day. We mostly maintain the rest of our voluntary Lenten disciplines, but if it's a "special day" -- either one of the liturgical calendar feast days that falls during Lent, or a family birthday -- we have a special dinner and a dessert.
But not every family does. My grandmother will turn 95 this year, and she's never in her life had a birthday cake. She had a sister with juvenile diabetes, and her birthday is on St. Patrick's Day, which always falls during Lent. So, no birthday cake. Ever. And it doesn't seem to have bothered her any. Still, I'm not sure every kid would be as understanding.
We actually don't have any spring birthdays in our immediate family, but my oldest daughter's birthday is in early February, and it once fell on Ash Wednesday. We weren't going to have a special dinner and treats on THAT day, so we just celebrated early. If you're not comfortable serving treats on a regular Lenten day, you could always celebrate on a Sunday.
Every Lent, the kids get invited to a couple of birthday parties for friends. We always gratefully accept the invitations and show up ready to have fun. We eat the food that's set before us, without being gluttons, of course. But ruining other people's birthdays is NOT one of our voluntary Lenten disciplines.
Many Catholics have conflated giving up sugar with the observation of Lent. But Lent is about so much more than sweets, anyway. There are TONS of other ways to grow and better myself during Lent (here are sixty-six of them). If I'm living my Lent as a time to really try to perfect myself -- yelling less, praying more, engaging with my children, attending daily Mass -- there's just no way a birthday cake is going to derail that.
That said, I, personally, don't throw parties on Holy Saturday. Again, this isn't an official doctrinal thing, it's just my opinion. But it's because that's the one day of the year . . . that we really feel Our Lord's absence. He's absent from tabernacles. There's no Mass celebrated (as with on Good Friday). In our home we use it as a day of preparation and quiet. And just because there are so many secular egg hunts and whatnot on Holy Saturday, our kids just know that, as a family culture thing, Tierneys just don't participate in that stuff.
The weekend before is Palm Sunday, which would be a great day for a celebratory brunch. You could decorate with palm fronds, and . . . um, donkeys? Up to you.
Cheers,
Kendra
Update: Maureen wrote back to point out that another drawback of having a party on Holy Saturday, would be the need to prepare for it on Good Friday.
Some related posts you might enjoy . . .
Sundays in Lent: We Can't ALL Be Right About ThisEvery Kid is Special (three days per year) How to Win At Lent
Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, nor am I an official spokesperson for the Catholic Church. (You're thinking of this guy.) If you read anything on this blog that is contrary to Church teaching, please consider it my error (and let me know!). I'm not a doctor or an expert on anything in particular. I'm just one person with a lot of experience parenting little kids and a desire to share my joy in marriage, mothering, and my faith.
If you've got a question, please send it along to catholicallyear @ gmail . com . Please let me know if you prefer that I change your name if I use your question on the blog.
February 10, 2015
All the Disneyland Photos and That's It
I feel like I keep telling you guys that I'm finally feeling better, but I'm going to stop doing that. Because, really, I'm not. This pregnancy, even at sixteen weeks, well into what has almost always been the do-all-the-things part of pregnancy for me . . . has been hard. I'm still having first trimester-type nausea and fatigue, combined with early-onset third trimester stuff like heartburn and other things I won't go into. So, I'm just going to say that I'm not feeling great, but life and blogging go on, as much as possible anyway.
They are NOT barfy. Just bummed that Sleeping Beauty's castle was all closed off and screened over.
So, even though I've been racking my brain for some "content" to go along with the Disneyland photo dump. I just don't got it tonight. And I didn't got it last night either. So, you get the photos. That is all.
If you like the Catholic All Year page on Facebook, you've seen a couple of these. If you follow me on Instagram, (do you? it's my favorite. I'm @kendra_tierney.) you've seen even more of them. But no one has seen them all. Until now.
Nana and Grandad take us all to Disneyland for each kid's sixth birthday (because they are they BEST.) We've ended up going two Februarys in a row, since we went a couple of months late for Gus's birthday last year, and a few months early for Anita's sixth birthday, which is next July.
It also just so happened that we went on Betty's actual eleventh birthday. So, lots to celebrate.
We drove from our house in the valley down to Anaheim on Thursday afternoon, and spent the evening at Downtown Disney.
We went to dinner at the Rainforest Cafe, which my kids believe to be THE fanciest restaurant on the entire planet.
Wait, who is that?
Oh. It's Frankie.
Betty got a birthday Volcano Cake, sans sparkler 'cause California is l.a.m.e. like that. I'm sure many a wildfire was set inside the Rainforest Cafe before someone finally got some laws passed against them.
Next stop was the Lego store. I love just watching the kids inside the Lego Store. They love it all so much.
Bobby had saved up for months to buy a Lego set for himself while we were there. He had a baggie o' cash, and a coupon he had clipped from his Lego magazine. (Do your kids get Lego magazine? It's FREE!) It's was the adorablest.
Next day, Friday, we went to Disneyland. The lines usually aren't TOO bad on a weekday in February, but they were really not bad on a weekday in February in the midst of a measles scare. If you vaccinate, seriously, get thee to Disneyland.
I know, Indiana Jones Ride, I know . . . but I totally did anyway.
Haunted Mansion. VERY scary, see?
Jungle Cruise, mostly just adorable.
All four of our eligible kiddos got selected for Jedi training.
I love this photo so very much. Anita is utterly nonplussed, staring down Darth Vader.
There was a recurring theme all day of her insisting that she wanted to go on rides, then hating them once she was on them. Take Space Mountain here, for instance.
Fortunately, Grandad was there to make her feel better afterwards. And talk her into the next one.
Nine years to go Gus . . .
Thirteen for you TiggerFrankie.
Now Mr. Toad's Wild Ride she DID like.
The next day, Lulu awoke looking lovely and refreshed, from her pack n' play tent. We always try to cram the pack n' play into a bathroom, but it didn't fit, so the husband set it up under the hanging bar and draped all the random-piece-of-fabric-they-put-across-the-foot-of-the-bed-to-look-fancy-s down from the hanging rack over the pack and play, to make it a little darker and less hey-I-can-see-all-my-friends at night.
And off we went to Disney California Adventure.
The most amazing ride in the park, and maybe anywhere, ever, is the Radiator Springs Racers. It's everything you love about Disney rides all rolled into one. It has the movie immersion experience of the classic Fantasyland rides, but also has a thrill ride component. And the technology is truly jaw-dropping. We booked it right to the fastpass line, and then the actual line, so we could go twice. But you have to be forty inches tall to ride. Frankie is 39.95 inches tall. So I folded up two maps into little squares and stuck them in the heels of his shoes. Voila. He loved it. Next time I'll remember to put him in his cowboy boots.
I do not recommend the Frozen Sing Along Show. Neither does Bobby.
Frankie was great and not at all cranky all day, except when Lulu and I needed to sit on the bench on King Triton's Carousel of the Sea, which meant that Frankie had to move from a green whale to a purple whale. It was THE worst. He was super mad.
But everyone loved the Green Army Men Show.
And the Play Parade. Lulu was pretty flabbergasted by the whole thing actually.
Cars Land is just not to be believed. We go to a different National Park each year with the kids, and I gotta say, Disney has done a pretty amazing job replicating nature here. At night, they have it all lit up like sunset.
And all the old neon signs are so fun. We went to Flo's V8 Diner for dinner.
Then basked in the orange glow of the Cozy Cone Motel and got some ice cream.
They have crammed a LOT of Frozen-themed attractions into California Adventure. They've replaced the very clever Muppet 4D movie with a super-lame Watch Clips of the Movie Frozen show, they've replaced the UH-mazing Toy Story Zoetrope with a chance to look at some ladies dressed as Anna and Elsa. Blerg.
But even a certified Frozen-hater like myself could appreciate Olaf's Snow Fest. We went inside an arena, which was impressively decorated to look like a Norwegian village, and the kids got to play in REAL SNOW. Now, I know that for almost all of you, that sounds like a really terrible idea. But my kids (except for a two year stint in Chicago) have always lived in California, and for them, snow is really magical.
See?
The falling snow is just bubble snow, but it was still lovely.
And on the ground was real (man made) snow that you could use if it turned out that, despite all your Frozen-bashing, you DID want to build a snowman.
There was also a sledding hill. If you wanted to go sledding, you have to head over that that line right away, because they only let you stay in the snow area for a set amount of time. My kids all wanted to play in the snow, so they didn't get in line. So they didn't get to go sledding. Except for Gus, who charmed his way into the last sled ride of some gal's shift, because he is THAT charming.
And that, plus all the other rides not pictured, and corn dogs, and churros, and not waiting in line to meet costumed characters, because I do not get that, was that. We headed home Saturday night and our altar boys were on the job Sunday morning. It's nice to have a day to recover from a vacation.
I've got plenty more mailbag answers I can throw up here, and someday, there will again be content on this blog. But until then, I can always just take more pictures of the kids.
For more on our Disneyland habits, check out:
Big Family Disneyland Hacks
They are NOT barfy. Just bummed that Sleeping Beauty's castle was all closed off and screened over.So, even though I've been racking my brain for some "content" to go along with the Disneyland photo dump. I just don't got it tonight. And I didn't got it last night either. So, you get the photos. That is all.
If you like the Catholic All Year page on Facebook, you've seen a couple of these. If you follow me on Instagram, (do you? it's my favorite. I'm @kendra_tierney.) you've seen even more of them. But no one has seen them all. Until now.
Nana and Grandad take us all to Disneyland for each kid's sixth birthday (because they are they BEST.) We've ended up going two Februarys in a row, since we went a couple of months late for Gus's birthday last year, and a few months early for Anita's sixth birthday, which is next July.
It also just so happened that we went on Betty's actual eleventh birthday. So, lots to celebrate.
We drove from our house in the valley down to Anaheim on Thursday afternoon, and spent the evening at Downtown Disney.
We went to dinner at the Rainforest Cafe, which my kids believe to be THE fanciest restaurant on the entire planet.
Wait, who is that? 
Oh. It's Frankie. 
Betty got a birthday Volcano Cake, sans sparkler 'cause California is l.a.m.e. like that. I'm sure many a wildfire was set inside the Rainforest Cafe before someone finally got some laws passed against them.
Next stop was the Lego store. I love just watching the kids inside the Lego Store. They love it all so much. 
Bobby had saved up for months to buy a Lego set for himself while we were there. He had a baggie o' cash, and a coupon he had clipped from his Lego magazine. (Do your kids get Lego magazine? It's FREE!) It's was the adorablest.
Next day, Friday, we went to Disneyland. The lines usually aren't TOO bad on a weekday in February, but they were really not bad on a weekday in February in the midst of a measles scare. If you vaccinate, seriously, get thee to Disneyland.
I know, Indiana Jones Ride, I know . . . but I totally did anyway. 
Haunted Mansion. VERY scary, see? 
Jungle Cruise, mostly just adorable. 
All four of our eligible kiddos got selected for Jedi training.
I love this photo so very much. Anita is utterly nonplussed, staring down Darth Vader. 
There was a recurring theme all day of her insisting that she wanted to go on rides, then hating them once she was on them. Take Space Mountain here, for instance. 
Fortunately, Grandad was there to make her feel better afterwards. And talk her into the next one. 
Nine years to go Gus . . . 
Thirteen for you TiggerFrankie. 
Now Mr. Toad's Wild Ride she DID like.The next day, Lulu awoke looking lovely and refreshed, from her pack n' play tent. We always try to cram the pack n' play into a bathroom, but it didn't fit, so the husband set it up under the hanging bar and draped all the random-piece-of-fabric-they-put-across-the-foot-of-the-bed-to-look-fancy-s down from the hanging rack over the pack and play, to make it a little darker and less hey-I-can-see-all-my-friends at night.
And off we went to Disney California Adventure.
The most amazing ride in the park, and maybe anywhere, ever, is the Radiator Springs Racers. It's everything you love about Disney rides all rolled into one. It has the movie immersion experience of the classic Fantasyland rides, but also has a thrill ride component. And the technology is truly jaw-dropping. We booked it right to the fastpass line, and then the actual line, so we could go twice. But you have to be forty inches tall to ride. Frankie is 39.95 inches tall. So I folded up two maps into little squares and stuck them in the heels of his shoes. Voila. He loved it. Next time I'll remember to put him in his cowboy boots.
I do not recommend the Frozen Sing Along Show. Neither does Bobby. 
Frankie was great and not at all cranky all day, except when Lulu and I needed to sit on the bench on King Triton's Carousel of the Sea, which meant that Frankie had to move from a green whale to a purple whale. It was THE worst. He was super mad.
But everyone loved the Green Army Men Show. 
And the Play Parade. Lulu was pretty flabbergasted by the whole thing actually. 
Cars Land is just not to be believed. We go to a different National Park each year with the kids, and I gotta say, Disney has done a pretty amazing job replicating nature here. At night, they have it all lit up like sunset. 
And all the old neon signs are so fun. We went to Flo's V8 Diner for dinner. 
Then basked in the orange glow of the Cozy Cone Motel and got some ice cream. 
They have crammed a LOT of Frozen-themed attractions into California Adventure. They've replaced the very clever Muppet 4D movie with a super-lame Watch Clips of the Movie Frozen show, they've replaced the UH-mazing Toy Story Zoetrope with a chance to look at some ladies dressed as Anna and Elsa. Blerg.
But even a certified Frozen-hater like myself could appreciate Olaf's Snow Fest. We went inside an arena, which was impressively decorated to look like a Norwegian village, and the kids got to play in REAL SNOW. Now, I know that for almost all of you, that sounds like a really terrible idea. But my kids (except for a two year stint in Chicago) have always lived in California, and for them, snow is really magical.
See? 
The falling snow is just bubble snow, but it was still lovely. 
And on the ground was real (man made) snow that you could use if it turned out that, despite all your Frozen-bashing, you DID want to build a snowman.
There was also a sledding hill. If you wanted to go sledding, you have to head over that that line right away, because they only let you stay in the snow area for a set amount of time. My kids all wanted to play in the snow, so they didn't get in line. So they didn't get to go sledding. Except for Gus, who charmed his way into the last sled ride of some gal's shift, because he is THAT charming.And that, plus all the other rides not pictured, and corn dogs, and churros, and not waiting in line to meet costumed characters, because I do not get that, was that. We headed home Saturday night and our altar boys were on the job Sunday morning. It's nice to have a day to recover from a vacation.
I've got plenty more mailbag answers I can throw up here, and someday, there will again be content on this blog. But until then, I can always just take more pictures of the kids.
For more on our Disneyland habits, check out:
Big Family Disneyland Hacks
February 6, 2015
Happee Birthdae Betty (a Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone 11th Birthday Party)
So I've been teasing you guys on this one long enough, huh? Here it finally is. The most important detail, of course, is that Betty had a really great time, and so did her friends.
But there are a LOT more details than that. I've got a lot of kids. They have a lot of birthdays. I like throwing parties, so that's what we do. I've got it mostly down to a science. I have a set party agenda, that I just tweak a bit to fit with whatever theme the birthday boy or girl has chosen. Craft + food + a couple backyard games + cake + piñata + goodie bag = done.
But THAT was before we had a Harry Potter party. Betty got to start reading the books this summer, and started saying she wanted to have a Harry Potter birthday party almost immediately. She wanted her eleventh birthday party to be specifically based on just the first book, so that she could then have six MORE birthday parties based on the other six books in the series. We'll see, I guess. I wouldn't put it past her. She's a very constant little thing.
Even with just the first book to pull from there were SO MANY fun things we could do. If we didn't go completely over the top -- and probably we did, but if we didn't -- it was only because we decided to actually throw the party exactly six days before we had the party. So there really wasn't time to go too nuts. But with Betty and Jack and I all having read and loved the books, there were a lot of crazy ideas flying around.
Here's what we ended up with . . .
- The Decorations -
This was my favorite. It turned out really awesome. The photos don't really do it justice. We recreated the scene in which the Dursley's house is flooded with Hogwarts acceptance letters.
We ordered 100 regular white envelopes
and Bright Red Flexible Glue Gun Sealing Wax
and a Hogwarts Crest Seal
from Amazon. We laid all the envelopes out and sprayed them with a mix of water and brown food coloring to age them, then sealed and stamped them (some had something inside, more on that later). Then we hung them from the ceiling with Invisible Nylon Thread
, and made it look like they were exploding out of the fireplace.
We also had a lovely birthday banner donated to us by reader Jessica, who whipped it up for her own daughter's birthday, then had a baby, then popped the banner into the mail to me! We also ordered these Hogwarts Crest Peel And Stick Giant Wall Decals
to put on the windows.
The rest of the decorations were just printed out signs I found online or made on picmonkey.
- The Activities -
This is where things veered way off course for us. These are much more detailed and involved than our usual party games. It was a lot more involvement from me during the party itself. But it was fun.
Jack had the idea to play Scooter Quidditch. We asked guests to bring scooters if they had them, and Jack created two hoop goals and put them on either end of our cul-de-sac. Guests were divided into two teams, on each team were some chasers and one seeker on scooters, and some beaters and one goalie on foot. And one kid on foot was the snitch. It was chaos, but fun. They were throwing bludgers (various little nerf balls) at each other and running and scooting and chasing and trying to get the quaffle (soccer ball) in the hoop.
Next, I lined the kids up and brought them into Diagon Alley, formerly known as our playroom.
I designed and printed out paper signs for . . .
The Leaky Cauldron:
The snacks were . . .
(regular jelly beans)
(sunchips)
(puffy cheetos)
(crunchy cheetos)
(grapes)
(water) label found here
(and pumpkin juice: peach juice + apple cider + pureed peaches + can of pumpkin, in the blender, serve over ice)
Ollivander's Wand Shop:
Betty made the wands almost completely herself (I helped with some of the glue gunning) from this tutorial. The guests got to bring them home with them after the party.
Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions:
We rounded up all the various capes in the house and hung them up to let the guests borrow one for the party.
And Flourish and Blotts:
Just for fun.
- The Sorting Ceremony -
Once the guests had their snacks and wands and robes, we headed back into the living room to be sorted.
We ordered this Harry Potter Sorting Hat
from Amazon. Kids came up one at a time, and sat on a stool. I put the hat on their heads, and asked them two silly "Would You Rather" questions (from here and here). Then I had them reach into a bag and select one of four tokens I had made, one for each Hogwarts house.
They each got awarded a fleece scarf in their house colors. I made these over the course of four very long evenings. They turned out really, really cute and are actually quite sturdy. But sewing the strips of fabric together with a joining stitch was really time consuming. I can't in good conscious recommend that you do it. But, if you were going to ignore me and do it anyway, you'd need three-quarters of a yard of each color. Before you cut the fabric from selvage to selvage you should mark it with pencil or crayon. Draw three lines, from top to bottom (from one cut edge to the other) on the fabric: a line down the center, and a line down each quarter. Then cut them into seven three inch strips and one five inch strip. Alternate the colors, line up the marks on each strip to keep the fabric from pulling while you sew, (I didn't use pins, I just eyeballed it) and machine sew with a joining stitch (looks like two straight stitches with a zigzag in-between). It takes time and a lot of thread (I had to refill the bobbin three times per set of scarves), but they ended up costing less than a dollar a scarf (as long as you need 40 of them).
Eventually all the kids were sorted into their houses.
At which point I told them that they needed to collect all the acceptance letters, and open them up. Inside were color coded words. Each house collected the words that were in their two house colors, and they had to figure out their two clues. When all four houses put their clues together, they figured out that they needed to go to the "Astronomy Tower:" the highest point in the back yard (aka the platform of our play structure) for a flying lesson.
Jack and Grandad just happened to design and install a zipline in the backyard at Christmas, so the kids got to ride their "brooms" down the zipline and get off on the other side of the yard, where they found . . .
Gringott's Bank:
and got to help themselves to the treasure chest full of chocolate frogs inside. Made by Betty with this Frog Chocolate Candy Mold
.
Then it was time to come inside for the feast in the Great Hall . . .
of roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, broccoli and cheese, salad, and bread. No funny signs. It was supposed to be kinda fancy.
- The Cake -
Then there was cake. At first Betty was thinking she wanted the cake that Hagrid brings to Harry in the book.
Which would have been very cute and VERY easy. But then she decided on a four layer Hogwarts Crest cake instead.
I made the decorations using a chocolate transfer technique, like this, only I don't have fancy bottles, so I just cut a tiny tip of the end of a ziplock sandwich baggie. Seems to work. This technique is GREAT for folks like me who are utterly incapable of freehand drawing.
-The Piñata -
Last but not least, there was the piñata. Jack was in charge of that too. He made it out of paper mache over a punch balloon.
It was Professor Quirrell/Voldemort!
We whaled on him with a stick. And that was that.
I can't believe many people made it down this far, but on the off chance that you did and aren't completely tired of my blog by now, here are some related posts you might enjoy . . .
TO THE HARRY POTTER FINGER-WAGGERS: SORCERY IN THE BIBLE VS LIVING IN A MAGICAL WORLDHOW WE THROW A BACKYARD BIRTHDAY PARTY MURDERED BY PIRATES IS GOOD (A PRINCESS BRIDE 10TH BIRTHDAY PARTY)
We're at Disneyland today, testing our measles vaccines and celebrating Betty's actual birthday (which is today) and Anita's upcoming sixth birthday (next July). We go to Disneyland as a family for each kid's sixth birthday, but since this new baby's birthday is also supposed to be in July, we decided to make the Disneyland trip a few months early, so I can still fool the ride operators. 'Cause I'm crazy pregnant like that.
Happy Birthday Betty, we love you!
But there are a LOT more details than that. I've got a lot of kids. They have a lot of birthdays. I like throwing parties, so that's what we do. I've got it mostly down to a science. I have a set party agenda, that I just tweak a bit to fit with whatever theme the birthday boy or girl has chosen. Craft + food + a couple backyard games + cake + piñata + goodie bag = done.
But THAT was before we had a Harry Potter party. Betty got to start reading the books this summer, and started saying she wanted to have a Harry Potter birthday party almost immediately. She wanted her eleventh birthday party to be specifically based on just the first book, so that she could then have six MORE birthday parties based on the other six books in the series. We'll see, I guess. I wouldn't put it past her. She's a very constant little thing.
Even with just the first book to pull from there were SO MANY fun things we could do. If we didn't go completely over the top -- and probably we did, but if we didn't -- it was only because we decided to actually throw the party exactly six days before we had the party. So there really wasn't time to go too nuts. But with Betty and Jack and I all having read and loved the books, there were a lot of crazy ideas flying around.
Here's what we ended up with . . .
- The Decorations -
This was my favorite. It turned out really awesome. The photos don't really do it justice. We recreated the scene in which the Dursley's house is flooded with Hogwarts acceptance letters.
We ordered 100 regular white envelopes
and Bright Red Flexible Glue Gun Sealing Wax and a Hogwarts Crest Seal from Amazon. We laid all the envelopes out and sprayed them with a mix of water and brown food coloring to age them, then sealed and stamped them (some had something inside, more on that later). Then we hung them from the ceiling with Invisible Nylon Thread , and made it look like they were exploding out of the fireplace.
We also had a lovely birthday banner donated to us by reader Jessica, who whipped it up for her own daughter's birthday, then had a baby, then popped the banner into the mail to me! We also ordered these Hogwarts Crest Peel And Stick Giant Wall Decals
to put on the windows.The rest of the decorations were just printed out signs I found online or made on picmonkey.
- The Activities -
This is where things veered way off course for us. These are much more detailed and involved than our usual party games. It was a lot more involvement from me during the party itself. But it was fun.
Jack had the idea to play Scooter Quidditch. We asked guests to bring scooters if they had them, and Jack created two hoop goals and put them on either end of our cul-de-sac. Guests were divided into two teams, on each team were some chasers and one seeker on scooters, and some beaters and one goalie on foot. And one kid on foot was the snitch. It was chaos, but fun. They were throwing bludgers (various little nerf balls) at each other and running and scooting and chasing and trying to get the quaffle (soccer ball) in the hoop.
Next, I lined the kids up and brought them into Diagon Alley, formerly known as our playroom.
I designed and printed out paper signs for . . .
The Leaky Cauldron:
The snacks were . . .
(regular jelly beans)
(sunchips)
(puffy cheetos)
(crunchy cheetos)
(grapes)
(water) label found here
(and pumpkin juice: peach juice + apple cider + pureed peaches + can of pumpkin, in the blender, serve over ice)Ollivander's Wand Shop:
Betty made the wands almost completely herself (I helped with some of the glue gunning) from this tutorial. The guests got to bring them home with them after the party.
Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions:
We rounded up all the various capes in the house and hung them up to let the guests borrow one for the party.
And Flourish and Blotts:
Just for fun.
- The Sorting Ceremony -
Once the guests had their snacks and wands and robes, we headed back into the living room to be sorted.
We ordered this Harry Potter Sorting Hat
from Amazon. Kids came up one at a time, and sat on a stool. I put the hat on their heads, and asked them two silly "Would You Rather" questions (from here and here). Then I had them reach into a bag and select one of four tokens I had made, one for each Hogwarts house.
They each got awarded a fleece scarf in their house colors. I made these over the course of four very long evenings. They turned out really, really cute and are actually quite sturdy. But sewing the strips of fabric together with a joining stitch was really time consuming. I can't in good conscious recommend that you do it. But, if you were going to ignore me and do it anyway, you'd need three-quarters of a yard of each color. Before you cut the fabric from selvage to selvage you should mark it with pencil or crayon. Draw three lines, from top to bottom (from one cut edge to the other) on the fabric: a line down the center, and a line down each quarter. Then cut them into seven three inch strips and one five inch strip. Alternate the colors, line up the marks on each strip to keep the fabric from pulling while you sew, (I didn't use pins, I just eyeballed it) and machine sew with a joining stitch (looks like two straight stitches with a zigzag in-between). It takes time and a lot of thread (I had to refill the bobbin three times per set of scarves), but they ended up costing less than a dollar a scarf (as long as you need 40 of them).
Eventually all the kids were sorted into their houses.
At which point I told them that they needed to collect all the acceptance letters, and open them up. Inside were color coded words. Each house collected the words that were in their two house colors, and they had to figure out their two clues. When all four houses put their clues together, they figured out that they needed to go to the "Astronomy Tower:" the highest point in the back yard (aka the platform of our play structure) for a flying lesson.
Jack and Grandad just happened to design and install a zipline in the backyard at Christmas, so the kids got to ride their "brooms" down the zipline and get off on the other side of the yard, where they found . . .
Gringott's Bank:
and got to help themselves to the treasure chest full of chocolate frogs inside. Made by Betty with this Frog Chocolate Candy Mold
.
Then it was time to come inside for the feast in the Great Hall . . .
of roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, broccoli and cheese, salad, and bread. No funny signs. It was supposed to be kinda fancy.
- The Cake -
Then there was cake. At first Betty was thinking she wanted the cake that Hagrid brings to Harry in the book.
Which would have been very cute and VERY easy. But then she decided on a four layer Hogwarts Crest cake instead.
I made the decorations using a chocolate transfer technique, like this, only I don't have fancy bottles, so I just cut a tiny tip of the end of a ziplock sandwich baggie. Seems to work. This technique is GREAT for folks like me who are utterly incapable of freehand drawing.
-The Piñata -
Last but not least, there was the piñata. Jack was in charge of that too. He made it out of paper mache over a punch balloon.
It was Professor Quirrell/Voldemort!
We whaled on him with a stick. And that was that.
I can't believe many people made it down this far, but on the off chance that you did and aren't completely tired of my blog by now, here are some related posts you might enjoy . . .
TO THE HARRY POTTER FINGER-WAGGERS: SORCERY IN THE BIBLE VS LIVING IN A MAGICAL WORLDHOW WE THROW A BACKYARD BIRTHDAY PARTY MURDERED BY PIRATES IS GOOD (A PRINCESS BRIDE 10TH BIRTHDAY PARTY)
We're at Disneyland today, testing our measles vaccines and celebrating Betty's actual birthday (which is today) and Anita's upcoming sixth birthday (next July). We go to Disneyland as a family for each kid's sixth birthday, but since this new baby's birthday is also supposed to be in July, we decided to make the Disneyland trip a few months early, so I can still fool the ride operators. 'Cause I'm crazy pregnant like that.
Happy Birthday Betty, we love you!
February 4, 2015
To the Harry Potter Finger-Waggers: Sorcery in the Bible vs Living in a
Magical World
Dear Lady Who Commented on My Instagram Photo,
I can't remember your name, because I deleted your comment very quickly. I don't usually delete comments, but I just didn't want a whole big thing to get started. I had a party to plan.
The photo was this one . . .
of the handmade wands of paper and glue and paint that my daughter made to give to her friends at her birthday party. I can't remember exactly what your comment was, either, but it referenced "all magic" being "evil" and "dangerous." I do remember that much.
I'm not here to say that you, or anyone else, has to like the Harry Potter books. I'm not here to say that you, or anyone else, even has to READ the Harry Potter books. People get to have their own preferences. But I would like to clear up what seems to be a common misunderstanding among people who malign the Harry Potter books, or even just have heard a lot about them, but haven't read them, and don't know what to think: that the practice of magic, in any context, is inherently evil, because it says so in the Bible.
The Bible does denounce magic and magicians, (as does the Catechism of the Catholic Church, here and here) but it does so under a certain set of circumstances that we, as discerning Christians, would be wise to pay attention to. The Bible condemns magicians primarily for their deception, the way that they use "magic" to trick people into following false gods, as in the magicians of Pharaoh who opposed Moses throughout the twelve plagues, and Simon the Sorcerer who is converted by St. Philip in Acts. The Bible also condemns mediums for the invocation of dead spirits.
I actually wasn't able to find any Bible quotes that refer to magic as cooperation with or invocation of "the devil" by name, but certainly we'd agree that we would want to avoid glorifying those practices as well.
If we look at the fictional world in which Harry Potter lives, we'll see that none of those prohibitions would apply to our young wizard's situation. In Harry Potter's world, magic powers aren't something that can be sought. They can't be gained by a deal with the devil. They can't be increased by occult ceremonies. You are either born with magical powers or you're not.
In our world, some people seek to cultivate a relationship with the devil in the hope of gaining magical powers. I don't personally have any firsthand knowledge as to whether that's actually even possible in our world, but in NO way is that what happens to Harry Potter or his friends. Harry's gift of magic powers seems most akin to something like great musical talent. It often runs in families, but every now and again a musical prodigy will spring up from an unlikely place in an unmusical family. He just has a special talent. He didn't make any deals with the devil to get it.
In a couple of instances in the books, Harry is able to have momentary contact with his parents and other loved ones, who have passed away, but it isn't through any mediums or seances or invocations of dead spirits. His contact with his parents is an unexpected consequence of his self-sacrifice, and the self-sacrifice of his parents. There are no spells that can raise the dead or contact them, and the character in the books who goes to terrible lengths to try to prevent his own death, is clearly seen to be wrong. And evil. And pitiable. Again, Harry's contact with his parents is a function of the fact that he lives in a world with magic and magic wands. What happens in his world would not be possible in our own.
Harry doesn't use his magical powers to try to lead people into belief in false gods. In fact, in the Harry Potter books there is no overt mention of religion at all. As in other popular fantasy stories like The Chronicles of Narnia, The Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars, the Harry Potter books use themes of good vs evil, and great personal sacrifice, to relay Christian themes, rather than writing directly about God and the devil.
Other writers have done an excellent job of detailing the many ways in which the Harry Potter books encourage Christian morals and values. So, I'm not going to go into all of those specifics here.
But I do think it's worth pointing out to you that the author herself, J.K. Rowling, has stated that she is a Christian, and that she absolutely intended the Christian themes found in her books.
Magic in fiction is used as a plot device. In fairy tales and fantasy stories, magic allows for characters and worlds wildly different than our own, and yet familiar, somehow. We can lose ourselves in the wonder and novelty of it all, which opens us up to learn truths about ourselves and our own world.
We see this clearly in The Chronicles of Narnia and The Lord of the Rings books. Those worlds are full of magic, and in the case of the Narnia books, that magic bleeds back and forth between Narnia and England, just as it does in the Harry Potter books.
The end of Harry's story is about ultimate self-sacrifice, redemption, the fight of good against evil, and as with Aslan in The Chronicles of Narnia and Gandalf in The Lord of the Rings, death and resurrection. In the final book we see that Harry is, like Aslan, truly a Christ-figure.
Unlike Aslan, Harry is imperfect. He disregards rules. He loses his temper. But, that makes him relatable and inspiring. (In an I-can-also-overcome-personal-tragedy-and-triumph-over-evil-and-my-baser-inclinations way, not in a hey-I-should-be-a-wizard way.)
If you yourself, our your particular children have a temptation towards the occult or new age practices, perhaps none of these fantasy series would be a good choice for your home. But if you don't find yourself in that situation, I would encourage you to pick up the books for yourself, and read what the stories are really about, and not blindly accept as true the unfair characterizations presented by some Christian fundamentalists, or exaggeratedly attributed to a future pope.
I would encourage you to read these books. Maybe you just won't like them. Some folks don't. But most folks do. And if you like them, you'll get to share them and their whimsy and humor and tragedy and powerful messages with your children.
My own policy for most children's entertainment is three steps: share, discuss, repeat. Harry turns eleven in the beginning of the first book, and, for my own kids, ten or eleven has seemed like an appropriate age at which to let them start reading the books. The Harry Potter books seem to be a good bridge for after they have read The Chronicles of Narnia, but aren't yet ready to read The Lord of the Rings.
Kids who started reading the Harry Potter books as they were coming out had to wait a year in between each release, which meant a boy who started reading the first book at eleven, would have been eighteen when he read the last book. It feels like the author wrote them with a maturing audience like that in mind. Certainly the books get more complex and intense and have heavier themes as they go along. But the darker themes of the latter books are war and politics, and difficult decisions, and deaths of beloved characters, not the occult or moral relativism.
I plan to evaluate my own kids on an individual basis, but I was comfortable allowing my oldest son to read all of the books as a tween, and I plan to let my newly-eleven-year-old daughter do the same. I'll be available to answer any questions she has about Harry's choices, and to comfort her if the ending makes her cry (as it did me). But the magic won't worry me one bit. I hope all this helps explain why.
Cheers,
Kendra
P.S. Stay tuned for the party recap post, coming soon!
February 3, 2015
Lent Cometh: perhaps everything you'll ever need to know to have the best Lent ever
Okay, folks. Now that Candlemas is over and all things Christmas are officially behind us, it's time to quit being in denial that Lent is coming. Fast. It is for me, anyway.
Two weeks from today is Fat Tuesday. Then, it's on.
A pretty significant percentage of my all-time most popular posts are about Lent. I figured that since I've gotten quite a few new readers over the last year, it might be nice to put the best of the Lent posts in one place. So, here they are . . . (Just click on the post title, not the photo, to read the whole thing.)
1.
MARDI GRAS MADNESS AND A HOODOO MOVIE REVIEWAll about how we celebrate Fat Tuesday in our house, including recipes, crafts and activities, music, and our favorite Fat Tuesday movie.
2.
KEEPING LENT: A GUIDE TO WHAT WE DO FOR KIDSA little guide to how we decorate, sacrifice, and celebrate through Lent with our kids.
3.
OUR LENT SO FAR, IN PICTURESA close up look at what our home looks like during Lent. Simple but meaningful, these small touches around the home really help our family be mindful of the season.
4.
MY BIGGEST LENT FAILS AND HOW I LEARNED MORTIFICATION WITHOUT SUFFERING (ALMOST)My very first post to "go viral," this is how I have come to view Lent . . . "not everything I have tried to do (or not do) for Lent has worked. Today, you get to hear about what I don't do during Lent, what I avoid not doing during Lent, things I tried not doing but couldn't, and how I find mortification without suffering except in relation to Dr. Pepper."
5.
OUTSIDE THE BOX: 66 THINGS TO GIVE UP OR TAKE UP FOR LENT (IN BEGINNER, INTERMEDIATE, AND ADVANCED)Looking for something new to give up or take up for Lent? Maybe this post can help. It is my all time most popular thing on the blog. It's been featured in newspapers and magazines, and was even mentioned in a homily by a bishop!
6.
HOW TO WIN AT LENTMore of my Lenten philosophy . . . "THIS Lent, let's win. Let's have a Lent that will benefit ourselves and the people around us in our particular lives and our particular circumstances. Let's see the big picture and remember that it's not about not eating chocolate, it's about WHY we're not eating chocolate. Let's do Lent right, and hope to find a better version of ourselves this Easter."
7.
SUNDAYS IN LENT: WE CAN'T ALL BE RIGHT ABOUT THISMy take on the age old question of whether Sundays "count" during Lent . . . "Sundays in Lent seem to be a genuine source of confusion among Catholics. Both the 'I don't cheat on Sundays' people and the 'Sundays don't count' people believe that Church teaching is on their side. Or perhaps they just think there isn't a formal Church teaching on it, so it is a matter on which good Catholics are allowed to disagree.
But we can't ALL be right, right?"
8.
THE "YOU CAN STILL DO THIS" GUIDE TO ALL THINGS HOLY WEEKA little guide to exactly what we do for each day of Holy Week, and how to do it yourself with very little advance planning.
9.
HAPPY FOOT WASHING DAY!Details about our Spy Wednesday and Holy Thursday celebrations, including Thirty Pieces of Silver for kids, the Seven Churches Visitation, an at-home Last Supper -- complete with Rice Crispy Treat Lamb, and Family Foot Washing.
10.
HOW WE DO THE TRIDUUM: GOOD FRIDAY, HOLY SATURDAYDetails of our Good Friday and Holy Saturday observances, including Hot Cross Buns, our favorite stories and movies, a real Southern Catfish Fry, egg dying, and the official eschewing of Easter egg hunts and other early celebrations.
11.
HOW TO TALK TO LITTLE KIDS ABOUT THE CRUCIFIXIONAnd finally . . . "How much of Jesus' suffering and death to share with little ones is a question many parents struggle with.
It can be overwhelming to feel like you have to introduce so many facts and concepts and characters all at once, especially if your kids are perhaps more concerned with how close they are to getting to eat treats again than with the details of Jesus' passion.
How to handle it in your own family is going to depend, of course, on your particular kids.
But here's how we do it in our family."
So, hopefully these will get you in the mood for Lent, or at least ready to start thinking about it. My own perspective on Lent has changed so much over the years. I'd love to hear how YOU plan to approach Lent this year. Also, I haven't decided on what my own voluntary Lenten disciplines will be this year, so if you've got any ideas, lay 'em on me.
Two weeks from today is Fat Tuesday. Then, it's on.
A pretty significant percentage of my all-time most popular posts are about Lent. I figured that since I've gotten quite a few new readers over the last year, it might be nice to put the best of the Lent posts in one place. So, here they are . . . (Just click on the post title, not the photo, to read the whole thing.)
1.
MARDI GRAS MADNESS AND A HOODOO MOVIE REVIEWAll about how we celebrate Fat Tuesday in our house, including recipes, crafts and activities, music, and our favorite Fat Tuesday movie.
2.
KEEPING LENT: A GUIDE TO WHAT WE DO FOR KIDSA little guide to how we decorate, sacrifice, and celebrate through Lent with our kids.
3.
OUR LENT SO FAR, IN PICTURESA close up look at what our home looks like during Lent. Simple but meaningful, these small touches around the home really help our family be mindful of the season.
4.
MY BIGGEST LENT FAILS AND HOW I LEARNED MORTIFICATION WITHOUT SUFFERING (ALMOST)My very first post to "go viral," this is how I have come to view Lent . . . "not everything I have tried to do (or not do) for Lent has worked. Today, you get to hear about what I don't do during Lent, what I avoid not doing during Lent, things I tried not doing but couldn't, and how I find mortification without suffering except in relation to Dr. Pepper."
5.
OUTSIDE THE BOX: 66 THINGS TO GIVE UP OR TAKE UP FOR LENT (IN BEGINNER, INTERMEDIATE, AND ADVANCED)Looking for something new to give up or take up for Lent? Maybe this post can help. It is my all time most popular thing on the blog. It's been featured in newspapers and magazines, and was even mentioned in a homily by a bishop!
6.
HOW TO WIN AT LENTMore of my Lenten philosophy . . . "THIS Lent, let's win. Let's have a Lent that will benefit ourselves and the people around us in our particular lives and our particular circumstances. Let's see the big picture and remember that it's not about not eating chocolate, it's about WHY we're not eating chocolate. Let's do Lent right, and hope to find a better version of ourselves this Easter."
7.
SUNDAYS IN LENT: WE CAN'T ALL BE RIGHT ABOUT THISMy take on the age old question of whether Sundays "count" during Lent . . . "Sundays in Lent seem to be a genuine source of confusion among Catholics. Both the 'I don't cheat on Sundays' people and the 'Sundays don't count' people believe that Church teaching is on their side. Or perhaps they just think there isn't a formal Church teaching on it, so it is a matter on which good Catholics are allowed to disagree.
But we can't ALL be right, right?"
8.
THE "YOU CAN STILL DO THIS" GUIDE TO ALL THINGS HOLY WEEKA little guide to exactly what we do for each day of Holy Week, and how to do it yourself with very little advance planning.
9.
HAPPY FOOT WASHING DAY!Details about our Spy Wednesday and Holy Thursday celebrations, including Thirty Pieces of Silver for kids, the Seven Churches Visitation, an at-home Last Supper -- complete with Rice Crispy Treat Lamb, and Family Foot Washing.
10.
HOW WE DO THE TRIDUUM: GOOD FRIDAY, HOLY SATURDAYDetails of our Good Friday and Holy Saturday observances, including Hot Cross Buns, our favorite stories and movies, a real Southern Catfish Fry, egg dying, and the official eschewing of Easter egg hunts and other early celebrations.
11.
HOW TO TALK TO LITTLE KIDS ABOUT THE CRUCIFIXIONAnd finally . . . "How much of Jesus' suffering and death to share with little ones is a question many parents struggle with.
It can be overwhelming to feel like you have to introduce so many facts and concepts and characters all at once, especially if your kids are perhaps more concerned with how close they are to getting to eat treats again than with the details of Jesus' passion.
How to handle it in your own family is going to depend, of course, on your particular kids.
But here's how we do it in our family."
So, hopefully these will get you in the mood for Lent, or at least ready to start thinking about it. My own perspective on Lent has changed so much over the years. I'd love to hear how YOU plan to approach Lent this year. Also, I haven't decided on what my own voluntary Lenten disciplines will be this year, so if you've got any ideas, lay 'em on me.
January 30, 2015
Seven Odd Things I've Come to Appreciate About Homeschooling
I've written before about why and how we homeschool. But, recently, as we go about our daily routine, I keep noticing odd little things that I really like about homeschooling.
I don't think any of these would be a very good reason to have decided to start homeschooling. But since we were doing it already already, I figure it would be okay to share them with you.
1. Everything is School
Before we started homeschooling I thought of school as a place I sent my kid, and something he did while he was there. There was school, then there was the rest of our family life. After "school" there were chores and family outings and entertainment. But once "school" WAS our family life, I realized that learning wasn't confined to lesson time. Cooking, cleaning, conversations in the car, trips to the grocery store and the beach, all became learning opportunities. Now everything is school. Maybe you didn't have to start homeschooling your kids to figure this out, probably you didn't. But I guess I did.
2. There's No Such Thing as PRE School
And now that school is our family life, and everything is school, everyone in our family is in our school, no matter how old they are. That's not to say that Frankie doesn't get banished outside sometimes . . . because. He. Does. But also, sometimes, he sits in on our spelling lessons and gleefully shouts out the names of phonograms that may or may not have anything to do with the letters I'm showing them. And Anita, our Kindergartener, is Chief Officer in Charge of Reminding Everyone What the Next Line of His Poem Is (from memory). We all listen to chapter books together, and they're not usually aimed at little kids. But that just means that sometimes Anita and Frankie will be in the playroom playing My Little Pony or Superheroes and sometimes they'll be under the table playing War of the Worlds or Robinson Crusoe.
3. There's No Such Thing as Sick Days
The problem about deciding if you need a sick day, is that you usually have to do it at 7:00 in morning. I remember many a day of my own traditional school career when I would be convinced upon waking up that there was no possible way I could go to school and that I was certainly very, very sick . . . only to rebound by 9:45 and spend the rest of the day driving my mom crazy. Now that we're homeschooling, my kid can wake up feeling crummy, stay in his jammies, but still probably get most of his regular schoolwork done. If you're going to read a book, it could be your science book. If you're going to watch a show, why not have it be your Latin lesson? If you're going to lay on the couch, you could lay on the couch and listen to a history lesson. And if it turns out he's feeling better by lunchtime, he can get dressed and even get his math lesson done. I mean, probably he won't. But he could. Theoretically.
4. It Doesn't Require Special Food
I used to have a real problem with letting leftovers go bad in my fridge. But with eight people at home eating lunch every day, that is no longer an issue for us. I don't have to buy juice boxes, or prepackaged baggies of anything. We just eat the food that's in our house for lunch. Sometimes it's sandwiches, sometimes it's veggies and crackers and various things to dip them in, sometimes it's a big dish of spaghetti with a bunch of forks in it, on a chair, on the front porch. Because we can.
5. We Get to Be Friends With Whomever
My kids are friends with kids of a very wide age range. Just by the nature of traditional school, I tended to hang out only with other kids just my age. And certainly not my own little sister. How embarrassing. But at our classes and field trips and weekly parkday, my kids are able to hang out with whomever they like. To my great delight, that usually includes their siblings. Even though there are almost six years between Anita and Betty, they are both a part of the sweetest group of girlfriends. One of my sons happens to click best with a boy a couple of years younger than he is. And my second grader is my jock, and spends parkday playing pickup football with the middle and high school kids. And it's all good.
6. Nothing Depends on How Tall You Are
When I was in school, I remember it being a HUGE deal how tall everyone in the class was in relation to one another. We lined up to go inside by height. A big part of a kids' identity seemed to be wrapped up in whether he was a tall kid or a short kid. But my kids don't really think about whether they're tall or short at all. Since they hang out in groups of kids of different ages, there really isn't one height that everyone is supposed to be. No one seems to notice.
7. We Get to Like What We Like
Maybe this has more to do with my own particular neuroses than with traditional schooling, but I remember feeling a lot of pressure to like the same things and listen to the same music and wear the same types of clothes as my classmates. My kids don't seem to be facing that at all. They usually see their group of friends twice a week (at a class we host and at our homeschool parkday) but as far as I can tell, their friends don't seem to have any expectation that they'll all like the same things. My daughter, who is about to turn eleven, still likes dolls and dressing up, one of her best friends hasn't liked those things for years, but no one seems to mind. The kids at our parkday dress differently, and have different family rules for screens and entertainment, and like different sports teams. And I can't remember it ever being an issue. Sometimes there are tears at parkday, but usually it's because somebody accidentally whacked somebody else with a fallen tree branch. That's easier to recover from, somehow, than it becoming common knowledge that you like Olivia Newton John and not the Beastie Boys (ask me how I know).
And, hey, that's seven. So I'm linking it up with Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum for Seven Quick Takes.
Betty and I have been busily planning her birthday party, which is on Saturday. I'm planning a blog recap, as usual. Along with a defense of our theme . . . since, all it took was this on picture on Instagram for the finger-waggers to come out. <sigh>
But it's going to be great. I wish you could join us. Have a lovely weekend!
I don't think any of these would be a very good reason to have decided to start homeschooling. But since we were doing it already already, I figure it would be okay to share them with you.
1. Everything is School
Before we started homeschooling I thought of school as a place I sent my kid, and something he did while he was there. There was school, then there was the rest of our family life. After "school" there were chores and family outings and entertainment. But once "school" WAS our family life, I realized that learning wasn't confined to lesson time. Cooking, cleaning, conversations in the car, trips to the grocery store and the beach, all became learning opportunities. Now everything is school. Maybe you didn't have to start homeschooling your kids to figure this out, probably you didn't. But I guess I did.
2. There's No Such Thing as PRE School
And now that school is our family life, and everything is school, everyone in our family is in our school, no matter how old they are. That's not to say that Frankie doesn't get banished outside sometimes . . . because. He. Does. But also, sometimes, he sits in on our spelling lessons and gleefully shouts out the names of phonograms that may or may not have anything to do with the letters I'm showing them. And Anita, our Kindergartener, is Chief Officer in Charge of Reminding Everyone What the Next Line of His Poem Is (from memory). We all listen to chapter books together, and they're not usually aimed at little kids. But that just means that sometimes Anita and Frankie will be in the playroom playing My Little Pony or Superheroes and sometimes they'll be under the table playing War of the Worlds or Robinson Crusoe.
3. There's No Such Thing as Sick Days
The problem about deciding if you need a sick day, is that you usually have to do it at 7:00 in morning. I remember many a day of my own traditional school career when I would be convinced upon waking up that there was no possible way I could go to school and that I was certainly very, very sick . . . only to rebound by 9:45 and spend the rest of the day driving my mom crazy. Now that we're homeschooling, my kid can wake up feeling crummy, stay in his jammies, but still probably get most of his regular schoolwork done. If you're going to read a book, it could be your science book. If you're going to watch a show, why not have it be your Latin lesson? If you're going to lay on the couch, you could lay on the couch and listen to a history lesson. And if it turns out he's feeling better by lunchtime, he can get dressed and even get his math lesson done. I mean, probably he won't. But he could. Theoretically.
4. It Doesn't Require Special Food
I used to have a real problem with letting leftovers go bad in my fridge. But with eight people at home eating lunch every day, that is no longer an issue for us. I don't have to buy juice boxes, or prepackaged baggies of anything. We just eat the food that's in our house for lunch. Sometimes it's sandwiches, sometimes it's veggies and crackers and various things to dip them in, sometimes it's a big dish of spaghetti with a bunch of forks in it, on a chair, on the front porch. Because we can.
5. We Get to Be Friends With Whomever
My kids are friends with kids of a very wide age range. Just by the nature of traditional school, I tended to hang out only with other kids just my age. And certainly not my own little sister. How embarrassing. But at our classes and field trips and weekly parkday, my kids are able to hang out with whomever they like. To my great delight, that usually includes their siblings. Even though there are almost six years between Anita and Betty, they are both a part of the sweetest group of girlfriends. One of my sons happens to click best with a boy a couple of years younger than he is. And my second grader is my jock, and spends parkday playing pickup football with the middle and high school kids. And it's all good.
6. Nothing Depends on How Tall You Are
When I was in school, I remember it being a HUGE deal how tall everyone in the class was in relation to one another. We lined up to go inside by height. A big part of a kids' identity seemed to be wrapped up in whether he was a tall kid or a short kid. But my kids don't really think about whether they're tall or short at all. Since they hang out in groups of kids of different ages, there really isn't one height that everyone is supposed to be. No one seems to notice.
7. We Get to Like What We Like
Maybe this has more to do with my own particular neuroses than with traditional schooling, but I remember feeling a lot of pressure to like the same things and listen to the same music and wear the same types of clothes as my classmates. My kids don't seem to be facing that at all. They usually see their group of friends twice a week (at a class we host and at our homeschool parkday) but as far as I can tell, their friends don't seem to have any expectation that they'll all like the same things. My daughter, who is about to turn eleven, still likes dolls and dressing up, one of her best friends hasn't liked those things for years, but no one seems to mind. The kids at our parkday dress differently, and have different family rules for screens and entertainment, and like different sports teams. And I can't remember it ever being an issue. Sometimes there are tears at parkday, but usually it's because somebody accidentally whacked somebody else with a fallen tree branch. That's easier to recover from, somehow, than it becoming common knowledge that you like Olivia Newton John and not the Beastie Boys (ask me how I know).
And, hey, that's seven. So I'm linking it up with Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum for Seven Quick Takes.
Betty and I have been busily planning her birthday party, which is on Saturday. I'm planning a blog recap, as usual. Along with a defense of our theme . . . since, all it took was this on picture on Instagram for the finger-waggers to come out. <sigh>
But it's going to be great. I wish you could join us. Have a lovely weekend!
January 27, 2015
Are Older Siblings Overburdened by Responsibilities? Or Are They Empowered by Them?
I have a backlog of great mailbag questions I got during and since the ol' hiatus. So, here's another one. The idea that I might be overburdening my kids with responsibilities around the home is something that I have definitely worried about myself, but, so far, what we're doing seems to be working well for us.
Question:
Thanks for your question. This isn't a criticism I've really faced in person, or even on the blog that I can recall. But it is something that I have personally worried about from time to time.
My kids' childhoods look a lot different than mine did. They have a lot more responsibility than I ever did. All of our kids (except Lulu) have daily chores, plus they are expected to do whatever jobs I assign them as they come up during the day. They earn money for a few specific jobs, but most of them they do just because they are a part of this family.
Our three to six year-olds can throw away diapers and other trash, they can gather and put away shoes, they can help set and clear the table. They can empty little trash cans and put toys away. They can get themselves cold cereal for breakfast in the morning.
Our seven to ten year-olds can do the above plus feed and water the chickens, and collect the eggs. They can put leftovers away and load the dishwasher. They can read stories and put little kids down for naps. They can cook eggs or oatmeal for breakfast, prepare simple lunches, and make leftovers for dinner . . . and clean up afterwards. They can empty the dishwasher and they can take out the trash and sort the recycling. They can get the baby up in the morning and change her and feed her breakfast.
Our ten year-olds and up can do the above plus cook simple meals and clean up afterwards. They can do laundry and clean bathrooms. They can ride their bikes to the store to buy a backpack full of groceries, or to the library to check out or return books, or to their daylight sports practices. We will, of course, evaluate each child individually based on their temperaments and maturity levels, but so far we have felt comfortable trusting our kids older than ten to babysit their younger siblings while mom and dad are away from home. This includes mealtimes and bedtimes.
My kids have a TON of responsibilities. Really, they do. But, mostly, they don't mind TOO much. Here are some of the keys, I think, to why it's working for our family so far.
1. They Know That the Reason We Are Different, is Because We Are Awesome
It all comes back to Family Culture. My kids know that not all families are like ours. They know that, in fact, the vast majority are not. But we experience our different-ness not as weird, or a hardship, but as . . . awesome.
Yes. They have a lot of little brothers and sisters to look after, but they also have a lot of people to play with, and a lot of little people to love and hero-worship them. Yes. They have a lot of responsibilities, but that's because they are given more trust and more opportunities than other kids.
Also, my kids know me well enough to know that I always mean what I say, and that Tierneys don't complain. Those two policies alone, really cut down on the majority of grumbling. We've all mostly figured out that if we all just do our parts cheerfully, things go a lot more smoothly.
2. We Try to Play to Their Strengths
I read once that Daniel Boone grew up in a big family, and that his main family chore, even as a young kid, was . . . hunting. He loved it, it was something for which he had a natural aptitude, and, clearly, it was hugely beneficial to his family. It really got me thinking about all the chore charts and chore wheels of the parenting world, and how those focus on "fairness" and "equal division of labor" rather than on what kids like or are particularly good at.
I know that between the husband and I, I'm better at some things, and he's better at other things. So, I do almost all the cooking and event planning, and he does almost all the schedule keeping and going to Costco. Because things work out better that way.
We have enough kids that we can mostly do the same thing for them.
For in-the-moment chores, I tend to assign them to whomever I see first, but the kids have regular daily chores, and those are assigned by aptitude. So my oldest (and most Daniel Boone-like) does grocery shopping and other errands. He much prefers it over other chores, and I really love that I can realize that we don't have any cream to put in the soup I was planning to make for dinner, go take a nap, and wake up to find that there's cream. Everyone wins.
As far as sibling-centered chores, those are all assigned as-needed, and they are actually very sought-after. Mostly because after lunch and dinner, I hand out chores to everyone, and all the big kids would much rather get a little kid in pajamas and read a story than work on the dishes.
3. We Don't Have an Expectation of "Fairness"
We don't do chore charts, we just do chores. I found that, for us, having systematic division of labor in our home created an attitude of entitlement in the kids. They thought they had "earned" such and such a reward by doing their daily chores and, therefore, it was their due. So, we quit doing that.
Now, my kids know to expect to do things to help our family throughout the day. But it's not always "fair." People get assigned jobs because they're not doing anything else productive at the moment, or because they've been driving me up the wall, or because I think they'll do a better job than anyone else. It's not always predictable. It's not always equal. But it is just.
4. More Responsibility Equals More Privileges
One of the things I say most often each day is, "What are you doing to help our family?" Everyone pitches in around here, or things just don't get done. But, obviously, the older kids are going to have to pitch in more than the little ones. I occasionally remind them that if they have a problem with their birth order in this family, they'll have to take it up with God. I wasn't in charge of that.
But still, it's a valid observation. The way we handle it is to make sure that our kids that have more responsibilities also have more privileges. The big kids do more work, but they also get to stay up later at night. That often means they get desserts and screen time that the little kids don't get. I make sure that they have more privileges and that they realize that they have them.
I'm also aware that if I'm going to ask my big kids to look after their little brothers and sisters, I need to not undermine their (reasonably used) authority over them. So, I back the big kids up whenever possible. One of our family rules is that little kids listen to what big kids tell them to do. I've sometimes had to rein older kids in a bit, but mostly, having a hierarchy works. And if I want to be able to go to the dentist without bringing seven children along with me (and I do want that, I really do) I need to reinforce the hierarchy.
And, really, seeing the way they interact with each other is SO sweet. The little kids drive the big kids crazy. Sometimes. But they also love their older siblings so, so much and think they are SO cool. I never knew that kind of blindly adoring love until I had children of my own. But my big kids have it every day.
5. They Can See That They Are Actually Useful
This is the part of giving my kids actual, real responsibilities in our home that I love the most. Okay, that's not quite true, the part I love most is not having to do All The Things myself. But a very close second, is the fact that I have children that aren't having to have their confidence propped up by participation trophies. They have the REAL confidence that comes from being actually useful and accomplished.
I could not run this house on my own. I couldn't. I need their help. This family could not run without the help of my big kids. That's something they can feel. They know how to cook food and do laundry and take care of other human beings, all things I didn't learn how to do at all until I went to college, and didn't learn to do with any skill until I was already married. (I did learn other useful skills like sewing and how to use power tools, but not cooking or cleaning.)
My nine year old can make pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon. All by himself. He takes a lot of pride in it.
That's the GOOD kind of pride -- based on hard work, and serving others -- that I want my children to have. And it's by giving my children real responsibilities and expecting a lot from them, that they are able to find true self-esteem.
That's what I'm hoping anyway.
Some other posts you might find interesting:
Encouraging Independence in Children: How We RollCan't Buy Me Love? Not For Chores Anyway.Expect Great Things (and you just might get them)
Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, nor am I an official spokesperson for the Catholic Church. (You're thinking of this guy.) If you read anything on this blog that is contrary to Church teaching, please consider it my error (and let me know!). I'm not a doctor or an expert on anything in particular. I'm just one person with a lot of experience parenting little kids and a desire to share my joy in marriage, mothering, and my faith.
If you've got a question, please send it along to catholicallyear @ gmail . com . Please let me know if you prefer that I change your name if I use your question on the blog.
P.S. A big BIG thank you to all of you who voted for this blog in the Sheenazing Awards.
I am honored to have been named Best Lifestyle Blog and Best Looking Blog this year. And I'm maybe even more excited to have been named runner-up Coolest Blogger to my friend Haley at Carrots for Michaelmas. You guys got that one right for sure. Haley is TOTALLY cooler.
Blessed Is She won for Best Blog By Multiple Authors . . . also very cool!
Head over to A Knotted Life to read about all the winners. And, you should definitely check out the most recent post from this year's runner-up for Most Under-Appreciated Blog. Molly from Molly Makes Do has done a recap of the little-known Cultural Showcase portion of the Sheenazing Awards. It's, um, hilarious. You guys won't BELIEVE what I'm wearing.
Question:
Hi Kendra,Answer: Mandy,
First, thanks so much for your blog! Although I only have an 8 week-old son, I make mental notes from almost every one of your blogs for the future when, God willing, we will have a house filled with kids like you:) Here are the questions I have for you:
How do you respond to people who criticize you by saying that your older kids are raising your younger kids or imply that your older kids are missing out on their childhood by being responsible for taking care of younger members of the family? How do you balance the need for your older kids to have fun without their younger siblings while instilling in them that they are, literally, their brother's keeper, or is that even something you worry about? I hope those questions make sense and if not, feel free to ask for clarification;)
Thanks in advance!Mandy
Thanks for your question. This isn't a criticism I've really faced in person, or even on the blog that I can recall. But it is something that I have personally worried about from time to time.
My kids' childhoods look a lot different than mine did. They have a lot more responsibility than I ever did. All of our kids (except Lulu) have daily chores, plus they are expected to do whatever jobs I assign them as they come up during the day. They earn money for a few specific jobs, but most of them they do just because they are a part of this family.
Our three to six year-olds can throw away diapers and other trash, they can gather and put away shoes, they can help set and clear the table. They can empty little trash cans and put toys away. They can get themselves cold cereal for breakfast in the morning.
Our seven to ten year-olds can do the above plus feed and water the chickens, and collect the eggs. They can put leftovers away and load the dishwasher. They can read stories and put little kids down for naps. They can cook eggs or oatmeal for breakfast, prepare simple lunches, and make leftovers for dinner . . . and clean up afterwards. They can empty the dishwasher and they can take out the trash and sort the recycling. They can get the baby up in the morning and change her and feed her breakfast.
Our ten year-olds and up can do the above plus cook simple meals and clean up afterwards. They can do laundry and clean bathrooms. They can ride their bikes to the store to buy a backpack full of groceries, or to the library to check out or return books, or to their daylight sports practices. We will, of course, evaluate each child individually based on their temperaments and maturity levels, but so far we have felt comfortable trusting our kids older than ten to babysit their younger siblings while mom and dad are away from home. This includes mealtimes and bedtimes.
My kids have a TON of responsibilities. Really, they do. But, mostly, they don't mind TOO much. Here are some of the keys, I think, to why it's working for our family so far.
1. They Know That the Reason We Are Different, is Because We Are Awesome
It all comes back to Family Culture. My kids know that not all families are like ours. They know that, in fact, the vast majority are not. But we experience our different-ness not as weird, or a hardship, but as . . . awesome.
Yes. They have a lot of little brothers and sisters to look after, but they also have a lot of people to play with, and a lot of little people to love and hero-worship them. Yes. They have a lot of responsibilities, but that's because they are given more trust and more opportunities than other kids.
Also, my kids know me well enough to know that I always mean what I say, and that Tierneys don't complain. Those two policies alone, really cut down on the majority of grumbling. We've all mostly figured out that if we all just do our parts cheerfully, things go a lot more smoothly.
2. We Try to Play to Their Strengths
I read once that Daniel Boone grew up in a big family, and that his main family chore, even as a young kid, was . . . hunting. He loved it, it was something for which he had a natural aptitude, and, clearly, it was hugely beneficial to his family. It really got me thinking about all the chore charts and chore wheels of the parenting world, and how those focus on "fairness" and "equal division of labor" rather than on what kids like or are particularly good at.
I know that between the husband and I, I'm better at some things, and he's better at other things. So, I do almost all the cooking and event planning, and he does almost all the schedule keeping and going to Costco. Because things work out better that way.
We have enough kids that we can mostly do the same thing for them.
For in-the-moment chores, I tend to assign them to whomever I see first, but the kids have regular daily chores, and those are assigned by aptitude. So my oldest (and most Daniel Boone-like) does grocery shopping and other errands. He much prefers it over other chores, and I really love that I can realize that we don't have any cream to put in the soup I was planning to make for dinner, go take a nap, and wake up to find that there's cream. Everyone wins.
As far as sibling-centered chores, those are all assigned as-needed, and they are actually very sought-after. Mostly because after lunch and dinner, I hand out chores to everyone, and all the big kids would much rather get a little kid in pajamas and read a story than work on the dishes.
3. We Don't Have an Expectation of "Fairness"
We don't do chore charts, we just do chores. I found that, for us, having systematic division of labor in our home created an attitude of entitlement in the kids. They thought they had "earned" such and such a reward by doing their daily chores and, therefore, it was their due. So, we quit doing that.
Now, my kids know to expect to do things to help our family throughout the day. But it's not always "fair." People get assigned jobs because they're not doing anything else productive at the moment, or because they've been driving me up the wall, or because I think they'll do a better job than anyone else. It's not always predictable. It's not always equal. But it is just.
4. More Responsibility Equals More Privileges
One of the things I say most often each day is, "What are you doing to help our family?" Everyone pitches in around here, or things just don't get done. But, obviously, the older kids are going to have to pitch in more than the little ones. I occasionally remind them that if they have a problem with their birth order in this family, they'll have to take it up with God. I wasn't in charge of that.
But still, it's a valid observation. The way we handle it is to make sure that our kids that have more responsibilities also have more privileges. The big kids do more work, but they also get to stay up later at night. That often means they get desserts and screen time that the little kids don't get. I make sure that they have more privileges and that they realize that they have them.
I'm also aware that if I'm going to ask my big kids to look after their little brothers and sisters, I need to not undermine their (reasonably used) authority over them. So, I back the big kids up whenever possible. One of our family rules is that little kids listen to what big kids tell them to do. I've sometimes had to rein older kids in a bit, but mostly, having a hierarchy works. And if I want to be able to go to the dentist without bringing seven children along with me (and I do want that, I really do) I need to reinforce the hierarchy.
And, really, seeing the way they interact with each other is SO sweet. The little kids drive the big kids crazy. Sometimes. But they also love their older siblings so, so much and think they are SO cool. I never knew that kind of blindly adoring love until I had children of my own. But my big kids have it every day.
5. They Can See That They Are Actually Useful
This is the part of giving my kids actual, real responsibilities in our home that I love the most. Okay, that's not quite true, the part I love most is not having to do All The Things myself. But a very close second, is the fact that I have children that aren't having to have their confidence propped up by participation trophies. They have the REAL confidence that comes from being actually useful and accomplished.
I could not run this house on my own. I couldn't. I need their help. This family could not run without the help of my big kids. That's something they can feel. They know how to cook food and do laundry and take care of other human beings, all things I didn't learn how to do at all until I went to college, and didn't learn to do with any skill until I was already married. (I did learn other useful skills like sewing and how to use power tools, but not cooking or cleaning.)
My nine year old can make pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon. All by himself. He takes a lot of pride in it.
That's the GOOD kind of pride -- based on hard work, and serving others -- that I want my children to have. And it's by giving my children real responsibilities and expecting a lot from them, that they are able to find true self-esteem.
That's what I'm hoping anyway.
Some other posts you might find interesting:
Encouraging Independence in Children: How We RollCan't Buy Me Love? Not For Chores Anyway.Expect Great Things (and you just might get them)
Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, nor am I an official spokesperson for the Catholic Church. (You're thinking of this guy.) If you read anything on this blog that is contrary to Church teaching, please consider it my error (and let me know!). I'm not a doctor or an expert on anything in particular. I'm just one person with a lot of experience parenting little kids and a desire to share my joy in marriage, mothering, and my faith.
If you've got a question, please send it along to catholicallyear @ gmail . com . Please let me know if you prefer that I change your name if I use your question on the blog.
P.S. A big BIG thank you to all of you who voted for this blog in the Sheenazing Awards.
I am honored to have been named Best Lifestyle Blog and Best Looking Blog this year. And I'm maybe even more excited to have been named runner-up Coolest Blogger to my friend Haley at Carrots for Michaelmas. You guys got that one right for sure. Haley is TOTALLY cooler.
Blessed Is She won for Best Blog By Multiple Authors . . . also very cool!
Head over to A Knotted Life to read about all the winners. And, you should definitely check out the most recent post from this year's runner-up for Most Under-Appreciated Blog. Molly from Molly Makes Do has done a recap of the little-known Cultural Showcase portion of the Sheenazing Awards. It's, um, hilarious. You guys won't BELIEVE what I'm wearing.
Are Older Siblings Overburdened by Responsibilities? Or Are TheyEmpowered by Them?
I have a backlog of great mailbag questions I got during and since the ol' hiatus. So, here's another one. The idea that I might be overburdening my kids with responsibilities around the home is something that I have definitely worried about myself, but, so far, what we're doing seems to be working well for us.
Question:
Thanks for your question. This isn't a criticism I've really faced in person, or even on the blog that I can recall. But it is something that I have personally worried about from time to time.
My kids' childhoods look a lot different than mine did. They have a lot more responsibility than I ever did. All of our kids (except Lulu) have daily chores, plus they are expected to do whatever jobs I assign them as they come up during the day. They earn money for a few specific jobs, but most of them they do just because they are a part of this family.
Our three to six year-olds can throw away diapers and other trash, they can gather and put away shoes, they can help set and clear the table. They can empty little trash cans and put toys away. They can get themselves cold cereal for breakfast in the morning.
Our seven to ten year-olds can do the above plus feed and water the chickens, and collect the eggs. They can put leftovers away and load the dishwasher. They can read stories and put little kids down for naps. They can cook eggs or oatmeal for breakfast, prepare simple lunches, and make leftovers for dinner . . . and clean up afterwards. They can empty the dishwasher and they can take out the trash and sort the recycling. They can get the baby up in the morning and change her and feed her breakfast.
Our ten year-olds and up can do the above plus cook simple meals and clean up afterwards. They can do laundry and clean bathrooms. They can ride their bikes to the store to buy a backpack full of groceries, or to the library to check out or return books, or to their daylight sports practices. We will, of course, evaluate each child individually based on their temperaments and maturity levels, but so far we have felt comfortable trusting our kids older than ten to babysit their younger siblings while mom and dad are away from home. This includes mealtimes and bedtimes.
My kids have a TON of responsibilities. Really, they do. But, mostly, they don't mind TOO much. Here are some of the keys, I think, to why it's working for our family so far.
1. They Know That the Reason We Are Different, is Because We Are Awesome
It all comes back to Family Culture. My kids know that not all families are like ours. They know that, in fact, the vast majority are not. But we experience our different-ness not as weird, or a hardship, but as . . . awesome.
Yes. They have a lot of little brothers and sisters to look after, but they also have a lot of people to play with, and a lot of little people to love and hero-worship them. Yes. They have a lot of responsibilities, but that's because they are given more trust and more opportunities than other kids.
Also, my kids know me well enough to know that I always mean what I say, and that Tierneys don't complain. Those two policies alone, really cut down on the majority of grumbling. We've all mostly figured out that if we all just do our parts cheerfully, things go a lot more smoothly.
2. We Try to Play to Their Strengths
I read once that Daniel Boone grew up in a big family, and that his main family chore, even as a young kid, was . . . hunting. He loved it, it was something for which he had a natural aptitude, and, clearly, it was hugely beneficial to his family. It really got me thinking about all the chore charts and chore wheels of the parenting world, and how those focus on "fairness" and "equal division of labor" rather than on what kids like or are particularly good at.
I know that between the husband and I, I'm better at some things, and he's better at other things. So, I do almost all the cooking and event planning, and he does almost all the schedule keeping and going to Costco. Because things work out better that way.
We have enough kids that we can mostly do the same thing for them.
For in-the-moment chores, I tend to assign them by whoever I see first, but the kids have regular daily chores, and those are assigned by aptitude. So my oldest (and most Daniel Boone-like) does grocery shopping and other errands. He much prefers it over other chores, and I really love that I can realize that we don't have any cream to put in the soup I was planning to make for dinner, go take a nap, and wake up to find that there's cream. Everyone wins.
As far as sibling-centered chores, those are all assigned as-needed, and they are actually very sought-after. Mostly because after lunch and dinner, I hand out chores to everyone, and all the big kids would much rather get a little kid in pajamas and read a story than work on the dishes.
3. We Don't Have an Expectation of "Fairness"
We don't do chore charts, we just do chores. I found that, for us, having systematic division of labor in our home created an attitude of entitlement in the kids. They thought they had "earned" such and such a reward by doing their daily chores and, therefore, it was their due. So, we quit doing that.
Now, my kids know to expect to do things to help our family throughout the day. But it's not always "fair." People get assigned jobs because they're not doing anything else productive at the moment, or because they've been driving me up the wall, or because I think they'll do a better job than anyone else. It's not always predictable. It's not always equal. But it is just.
4. More Responsibility Equals More Privileges
One of the things I say most often each day is, "What are you doing to help our family?" Everyone pitches in around here, or things just don't get done. But, obviously, the older kids are going to have to pitch in more than the little ones. I occasionally remind them that if they have a problem with their birth order in this family, they'll have to take it up with God. I wasn't in charge of that.
But still, it's a valid observation. The way we handle it is to make sure that our kids that have more responsibilities also have more privileges. The big kids do more work, but they also get to stay up later at night. That often means they get desserts and screen time that the little kids don't get. I make sure that they have more privileges and that they realize that they have them.
I'm also aware that if I'm going to ask my big kids to look after their little brothers and sisters, I need to not undermine their (reasonably used) authority over them. So, I back the big kids up whenever possible. One of our family rules is that little kids listen to what big kids tell them to do. I've sometimes had to rein older kids in a bit, but mostly, having a hierarchy works. And if I want to be able to go to the dentist without bringing seven children along with me (and I do want that, I really do) I need to reinforce the hierarchy.
And, really, seeing the way they interact with each other is SO sweet. The little kids drive the big kids crazy. Sometimes. But they also love their older siblings so, so much and think they are SO cool. I never knew that kind of blindly adoring love until I had children of my own. But my big kids have it every day.
5. They Can See That They Are Actually Useful
This is the part of giving my kids actual, real responsibilities in our home that I love the most. Okay, that's not quite true, the part I love most is not having to do All The Things myself. But a very close second, is the fact that I have children that aren't having to have their confidence propped up by participation trophies. They have the REAL confidence that comes for being actually useful and accomplished.
I could not run this house on my own. I couldn't. I need their help. This family could not run without the help of my big kids. That's something they can feel. They know how to cook food and do laundry and take care of other human beings, all things I didn't learn how to do at all until I went to college, and didn't learn to do with any skill until I was already married.
My nine year old can make pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon. All by himself. He takes a lot of pride in it.
That's the GOOD kind of pride -- based on hard work, and serving others -- that I want my children to have. And it's by giving my children real responsibilities and expecting a lot from them, that they are able to find true self-esteem.
That's what I'm hoping anyway.
Some other posts you might find interesting:
Encouraging Independence in Children: How We RollCan't Buy Me Love? Not For Chores Anyway.Expect Great Things (and you just might get them)
Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, nor am I an official spokesperson for the Catholic Church. (You're thinking of this guy.) If you read anything on this blog that is contrary to Church teaching, please consider it my error (and let me know!). I'm not a doctor or an expert on anything in particular. I'm just one person with a lot of experience parenting little kids and a desire to share my joy in marriage, mothering, and my faith.
If you've got a question, please send it along to catholicallyear @ gmail . com . Please let me know if you prefer that I change your name if I use your question on the blog.
P.S. A big BIG thank you to all of you who voted for this blog in the Sheenazing Awards.
I am honored to have been named Best Lifestyle Blog and Best Looking Blog this year. And I'm maybe even more excited to have been named runner-up Coolest Blogger to my friend Haley at Carrots for Michaelmas. You guys got that one right for sure. Haley is TOTALLY cooler.
Blessed Is She won for Best Blog By Multiple Authors . . . also very cool!
Head over to A Knotted Life to read about all the winners. And, you should definitely check out the most recent post from this year's runner-up for Most Under-Appreciated Blog. Molly from Molly Makes Do has done a recap of the little-known Cultural Showcase portion of the Sheenazing Awards. It's, um, hilarious. You guys won't BELIEVE what I'm wearing.
Question:
Hi Kendra,Answer: Mandy,
First, thanks so much for your blog! Although I only have an 8 week-old son, I make mental notes from almost every one of your blogs for the future when, God willing, we will have a house filled with kids like you:) Here are the questions I have for you:
How do you respond to people who criticize you by saying that your older kids are raising your younger kids or imply that your older kids are missing out on their childhood by being responsible for taking care of younger members of the family? How do you balance the need for your older kids to have fun without their younger siblings while instilling in them that they are, literally, their brother's keeper, or is that even something you worry about? I hope those questions make sense and if not, feel free to ask for clarification;)
Thanks in advance!Mandy
Thanks for your question. This isn't a criticism I've really faced in person, or even on the blog that I can recall. But it is something that I have personally worried about from time to time.
My kids' childhoods look a lot different than mine did. They have a lot more responsibility than I ever did. All of our kids (except Lulu) have daily chores, plus they are expected to do whatever jobs I assign them as they come up during the day. They earn money for a few specific jobs, but most of them they do just because they are a part of this family.
Our three to six year-olds can throw away diapers and other trash, they can gather and put away shoes, they can help set and clear the table. They can empty little trash cans and put toys away. They can get themselves cold cereal for breakfast in the morning.
Our seven to ten year-olds can do the above plus feed and water the chickens, and collect the eggs. They can put leftovers away and load the dishwasher. They can read stories and put little kids down for naps. They can cook eggs or oatmeal for breakfast, prepare simple lunches, and make leftovers for dinner . . . and clean up afterwards. They can empty the dishwasher and they can take out the trash and sort the recycling. They can get the baby up in the morning and change her and feed her breakfast.
Our ten year-olds and up can do the above plus cook simple meals and clean up afterwards. They can do laundry and clean bathrooms. They can ride their bikes to the store to buy a backpack full of groceries, or to the library to check out or return books, or to their daylight sports practices. We will, of course, evaluate each child individually based on their temperaments and maturity levels, but so far we have felt comfortable trusting our kids older than ten to babysit their younger siblings while mom and dad are away from home. This includes mealtimes and bedtimes.
My kids have a TON of responsibilities. Really, they do. But, mostly, they don't mind TOO much. Here are some of the keys, I think, to why it's working for our family so far.
1. They Know That the Reason We Are Different, is Because We Are Awesome
It all comes back to Family Culture. My kids know that not all families are like ours. They know that, in fact, the vast majority are not. But we experience our different-ness not as weird, or a hardship, but as . . . awesome.
Yes. They have a lot of little brothers and sisters to look after, but they also have a lot of people to play with, and a lot of little people to love and hero-worship them. Yes. They have a lot of responsibilities, but that's because they are given more trust and more opportunities than other kids.
Also, my kids know me well enough to know that I always mean what I say, and that Tierneys don't complain. Those two policies alone, really cut down on the majority of grumbling. We've all mostly figured out that if we all just do our parts cheerfully, things go a lot more smoothly.
2. We Try to Play to Their Strengths
I read once that Daniel Boone grew up in a big family, and that his main family chore, even as a young kid, was . . . hunting. He loved it, it was something for which he had a natural aptitude, and, clearly, it was hugely beneficial to his family. It really got me thinking about all the chore charts and chore wheels of the parenting world, and how those focus on "fairness" and "equal division of labor" rather than on what kids like or are particularly good at.
I know that between the husband and I, I'm better at some things, and he's better at other things. So, I do almost all the cooking and event planning, and he does almost all the schedule keeping and going to Costco. Because things work out better that way.
We have enough kids that we can mostly do the same thing for them.
For in-the-moment chores, I tend to assign them by whoever I see first, but the kids have regular daily chores, and those are assigned by aptitude. So my oldest (and most Daniel Boone-like) does grocery shopping and other errands. He much prefers it over other chores, and I really love that I can realize that we don't have any cream to put in the soup I was planning to make for dinner, go take a nap, and wake up to find that there's cream. Everyone wins.
As far as sibling-centered chores, those are all assigned as-needed, and they are actually very sought-after. Mostly because after lunch and dinner, I hand out chores to everyone, and all the big kids would much rather get a little kid in pajamas and read a story than work on the dishes.
3. We Don't Have an Expectation of "Fairness"
We don't do chore charts, we just do chores. I found that, for us, having systematic division of labor in our home created an attitude of entitlement in the kids. They thought they had "earned" such and such a reward by doing their daily chores and, therefore, it was their due. So, we quit doing that.
Now, my kids know to expect to do things to help our family throughout the day. But it's not always "fair." People get assigned jobs because they're not doing anything else productive at the moment, or because they've been driving me up the wall, or because I think they'll do a better job than anyone else. It's not always predictable. It's not always equal. But it is just.
4. More Responsibility Equals More Privileges
One of the things I say most often each day is, "What are you doing to help our family?" Everyone pitches in around here, or things just don't get done. But, obviously, the older kids are going to have to pitch in more than the little ones. I occasionally remind them that if they have a problem with their birth order in this family, they'll have to take it up with God. I wasn't in charge of that.
But still, it's a valid observation. The way we handle it is to make sure that our kids that have more responsibilities also have more privileges. The big kids do more work, but they also get to stay up later at night. That often means they get desserts and screen time that the little kids don't get. I make sure that they have more privileges and that they realize that they have them.
I'm also aware that if I'm going to ask my big kids to look after their little brothers and sisters, I need to not undermine their (reasonably used) authority over them. So, I back the big kids up whenever possible. One of our family rules is that little kids listen to what big kids tell them to do. I've sometimes had to rein older kids in a bit, but mostly, having a hierarchy works. And if I want to be able to go to the dentist without bringing seven children along with me (and I do want that, I really do) I need to reinforce the hierarchy.
And, really, seeing the way they interact with each other is SO sweet. The little kids drive the big kids crazy. Sometimes. But they also love their older siblings so, so much and think they are SO cool. I never knew that kind of blindly adoring love until I had children of my own. But my big kids have it every day.
5. They Can See That They Are Actually Useful
This is the part of giving my kids actual, real responsibilities in our home that I love the most. Okay, that's not quite true, the part I love most is not having to do All The Things myself. But a very close second, is the fact that I have children that aren't having to have their confidence propped up by participation trophies. They have the REAL confidence that comes for being actually useful and accomplished.
I could not run this house on my own. I couldn't. I need their help. This family could not run without the help of my big kids. That's something they can feel. They know how to cook food and do laundry and take care of other human beings, all things I didn't learn how to do at all until I went to college, and didn't learn to do with any skill until I was already married.
My nine year old can make pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon. All by himself. He takes a lot of pride in it.
That's the GOOD kind of pride -- based on hard work, and serving others -- that I want my children to have. And it's by giving my children real responsibilities and expecting a lot from them, that they are able to find true self-esteem.
That's what I'm hoping anyway.
Some other posts you might find interesting:
Encouraging Independence in Children: How We RollCan't Buy Me Love? Not For Chores Anyway.Expect Great Things (and you just might get them)
Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, nor am I an official spokesperson for the Catholic Church. (You're thinking of this guy.) If you read anything on this blog that is contrary to Church teaching, please consider it my error (and let me know!). I'm not a doctor or an expert on anything in particular. I'm just one person with a lot of experience parenting little kids and a desire to share my joy in marriage, mothering, and my faith.
If you've got a question, please send it along to catholicallyear @ gmail . com . Please let me know if you prefer that I change your name if I use your question on the blog.
P.S. A big BIG thank you to all of you who voted for this blog in the Sheenazing Awards.
I am honored to have been named Best Lifestyle Blog and Best Looking Blog this year. And I'm maybe even more excited to have been named runner-up Coolest Blogger to my friend Haley at Carrots for Michaelmas. You guys got that one right for sure. Haley is TOTALLY cooler.
Blessed Is She won for Best Blog By Multiple Authors . . . also very cool!
Head over to A Knotted Life to read about all the winners. And, you should definitely check out the most recent post from this year's runner-up for Most Under-Appreciated Blog. Molly from Molly Makes Do has done a recap of the little-known Cultural Showcase portion of the Sheenazing Awards. It's, um, hilarious. You guys won't BELIEVE what I'm wearing.
Kendra Tierney's Blog
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