Laura Bennet's Blog, page 20
March 25, 2018
Rest. Reflect. Respond.
My boss is out of town so we’re holding down the fort as they say. Numerous family–shall we say “situations” including a sick child have kept us jumping. I’ve enjoyed some needed time with friends. And my new book, Rachel’s Son, released meaning extra time spent in marketing efforts.
Today was time to rest.
God gave us the example of resting on the seventh day after he created the world in six. He looked at all he’d done and proclaimed it good, and then rested. I believe when he commands us to do the same, it’s for our benefit.
We require time for our minds, hearts and bodies to rejuvenate and refocus on God and where we’re heading with him. That can only be accomplished if we take time to rest.
I think that God also wants us to reflect.
Today was Palm Sunday. For those of you who don’t know what that means, it was simply the day that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey to celebrate Passover the week before he was crucified.
As Jesus came into the outskirts of town, he stopped and looked over the city. He reflected on the week to come and the people who would miss the act of love he was about to partake of on our behalf. And he wept.
Sometimes reflection can stir deep emotions within us. We may need to grieve, consider pain that needs healing or let joy well up in our hearts. I’ve experienced all those today. Reflection is a good thing. We grow when we examine our lives.
Finally, we need to respond.
Jesus’s response to us was to give himself up to be crucified for our sin and pain. He responded to our sin, our blindness, our brokenness by taking all of it on him so we could be free.
And rest. In his presence.
This week leading up to Easter, I want to take time to:
Rest. (I went to see I Can Only Imagine with friends and took a nap today.)
Reflect. God loves us so much he gave up his son, allowing him to suffer an awful death so we could wouldn’t have to die and be separated from him. That changes my world and causes me to
Respond. How can I love God, myself and others today because of God’s love for me? My actions, even if they are small, can make a difference in someone else’s life.
I’m praying you have a refreshing week of rest, reflection and response. May God bless you with his love in special ways.
March 18, 2018
PRE-ORDER RACHEL’S SON
Use the form below to pre-order a signed print copy of Rachel’s Son at a discounted price of only $12.00 (that’s more than 25% off the retail price of $16.99)
Rachel’s only son, two-year-old Micah, is slaughtered by Roman soldiers searching for the prophesied Messiah, sending her life on a trajectory of angry bitterness and further devastation.
Titus, a Roman soldier, harbors a terrible secret and would do anything to rid himself of the guilt he carries. But when circumstances force him to revisit the place of his treacherous deed he can’t reveal the truth.
Unexpectedly thrown together, Rachel and Titus both seek peace, but finding it with each other isn’t enough. Only an encounter with Jesus can force them to face the trauma of their past.
Will Titus release the burden he’s concealed? And what will it take for Rachel to forgive the Forgiver and find life again?
[contact-form]
Where Are You Going?
A quarter of 2018 is almost over.
It’s easy to miss it when it flies by so quickly, isn’t? But it’s good to slow down long enough to evaluate where we’ve been so far this year and where we’re headed.
In other words, where are you going?
My husband is a small craft pilot. He loves flying, and after flying with him, I can see why. But I told him I couldn’t imagine commandeering an aircraft. How do you know where to go in the big blue sky? How do you stay on course?
He explained that you first create and submit a flight plan and then you make little adjustments as you’re flying. It’s those small, incremental changes that keep you on track and get you to your destination.
Seems like a good example for life.
So here are some of the little ways I’m keeping on track. Maybe you can relate or will find them helpful.
Starting every day with worship music. Nothing gets and keeps my focus in the right place like seeking God first. He tells us to seek him first and he’ll make everything else fall into place (Matt. 6:33). Thank goodness!
Reading something from God’s word. That may be verses in my Bible, a devotional or the verses on the worship music I play (thank you Dappy T Keys!). God says his word doesn’t go out and not do what it’s intended to do. (Isaiah 55:11) So even reading something gives God an opportunity to do his work in me.
Learning to love myself. Every day I ask myself what would be the kind thing to do in a particular situation? Am I being loving to myself? Then I’m free to love others too.
Reading a book to help me grow in character. Right now that is Boundaries in Marriage; Understanding the Choices that Make or Break Loving Relationships by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. I wish I had read it decades ago as it would have helped me navigate my relationships in a much healthier way. I’m trying to take in small increments and asking God to help me remember and adjust my thinking and behavior accordingly. Every day, I see a little progress.
Being grateful. Every. Day. Thanking God adjusts my heart by reminding me of all the little (and sometimes big) ways God is taking care of me. Maybe it’s something as seemingly insignificant as a breeze or the sun on my face, but believe me, praising God for it makes a big difference in my attitude.
Looking ahead, but keeping my focus on today. Depending on your current situation, looking forward may be hopeful or despairing. On day five of the Israelites marching around the massive walls of Jericho (Joshua 9 & 10), I’ll bet more than a few folks felt weary and a little doubtful about those walls tumbling to the ground. When we keep examining the magnitude of our problem, it’s easy to become discouraged. Why is this so hard or taking so long? Will we make it through this crisis or illness? Yes. By taking one step at a time. Today. Tomorrow is a new day.
Evaluating what I accomplished today. Consider everything. Even resting is important. Did what I do take me in the direction I want to end up?
One of the places my little steps over a period of nearly five years has led me is to the writing and publication of Rachel’s Son which releases this coming Tuesday. It took a lot of work, and I often didn’t understand the journey. (Sign up for my email list or follow me on Facebook or Twitter to be alerted when the book hits Amazon.)
But arrive I did.
And you will too. So where have you been these past few months (or years), and where are you going? Take a few moments today to make some small adjustments to keep on track. Eventually, you’ll find yourself at your destination.
But remember to enjoy the journey.
March 11, 2018
A Sneak Peak
I’m all about taking our lives forward into more abundance. When we deal with our past, God can heal us, offer us hope and redeem the broken places in our heart. That’s why I’m so excited about my new book, Rachel’s Son. Rachel’s heart has been broken by the murder of her son, and that’s not the only challenge she faces.
As a result, she’s shattered and lost, not understanding God or his purposes. She can’t get past the pain to find freedom, love and life again.
Ever felt that way?
Yeah, I have too. But what I’ve learned is that by pushing through the pain, not hiding it, ignoring it, denying it or burying it, we will step into an abundance of joy. But it’s not easy. It’s scary. And it hurts. It may even feel as if we won’t survive.
It may take us months, or years or decades, but when we finally decide to step through, like pushing through the wardrobe or sea in Naria, we will learn to live again.
“The deeper my past sorrow, the greater my present joy.” Simeon, Rachel’s Son
Rachel’s journey is a grueling one, maybe like yours and mine have been. But with God there is hope, healing and redemption.
Rachel’s Son releases on March 20th. I thought you might like a sneak peak
March 4, 2018
The Third “D” Word
I certainly have. And I have smashed, slammed, thrown and torn up things. Sometimes our pain lashes out in rage. Whether it’s with words or objects, towards others or ourselves, destruction is never a healthy answer to our distress.
But how do I stop?
In the book of Romans, Paul says
“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do…for what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do — this I keep on doing.” Romans 7:15 & 19
Sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so. Me too.
We ALL struggle with feelings of depression, despair and even destruction. Even if our destructive patterns are “minor” like not taking care of ourselves – overworking, eating poorly, not getting enough good sleep – or something more serious like abusing alcohol or drugs or cutting our body, the underlying issue is a lack of a healthy view of our value. Paul’s answer in that letter to the Romans was that Christ is the one who saves me. He makes a way for us where there seems to be no way.
So how do I get a handle on my destructive behavior?
Discover your value. You are loved. God created you to be special, unique and he wants a relationship with you. Write out the words to I Corinthians 13:4-8 as a love letter from God. “God is patient with (insert your name). He is kind to (your name). etc. Then write the same verses out to yourself. For example, mine reads: Laura is patient with herself. She is kind to herself. Eventually, I started reading “I’m not easily angered with myself.” Read this every day until it sinks in. God is love. He loves you. Love yourself. (I can’t take credit for this – my counselor had me do this.)
Discover the root of your anger. Anger is a secondary emotion. What is underneath? Are you hurt, disappointed, frustrated? Feeling betrayed, abandoned or scared? It takes some work, but the next time you feel angry, try to stop and consider what is really going on under the surface of that rage.
Deal with your past. Past pain reveals itself in present problems. It may hurt, but any destructive behavior is adding to your pain, not relieving it.
Realize you have choices. Often we feel the compulsion to destroy because it gives us a sense of control. Especially for those of us who were in abusive situations where we were being controlled by someone who hurt us, as adults we now find we can take charge. But often we are taking control as adults with child feelings and action. When we understand that we now have choices to make, we will feel less out of control.
Ask for help. When you let a couple of trusted individuals know you’re struggling and ask them to hold you accountable, you’ll find that the compulsion loses some of its power. That’s because hidden things control us, but revealed things that are let into the open offer freedom. Think of a festering sore. If you kept it wrapped up in an old, dirty bandage, infection would set in and cause further damage. But letting in light, air and cleaning it out creates an environment for healing. It’s the same with our wounded hearts.
Last, but certainly not least, is understanding and accepting that we have an enemy who hates us because God loves us. Satan wants to hurt God and if he can destroy God’s children, it breaks God’s heart. The enemy wants us to be like him – destructive to ourselves and others. He wants to keep us in pain, bondage and away from our loving Father. The more we move forward, the harder he will try to hold us back. But knowing this is empowering. God can do all things. He’s bigger than the bad guys.
I’m not an authority.
And this list isn’t exhaustive. But these are a few things that have really helped me. Oh, and one last thing…remember it took us time to get messed up so it will take time to become free. I slammed a door the other day. My fear and frustration got a hold of me before I could get a handle on it.
It’s been a few months since I’ve done that. And as I was forceful with the car door, I realized it. Fear produces adrenaline and adrenaline seeks fight or flight. I fought with the door. But I’m learning to deal with the feelings first or remove myself from certain situations.
That’s actually progress.
I just don’t want you to think I’ve got it all together.
February 26, 2018
Can You Help Me?
Next month I’ll be releasing my next novel, and I’m looking for anyone who would like an advance pdf. copy in exchange for you writing an honest review the week it launches.
[image error] Rachel’s only son, two-year-old Micah, is slaughtered by Roman soldiers searching for the prophesied Messiah, sending her life on a trajectory of angry bitterness and further devastation.
Titus, a Roman soldier, harbors a terrible secret and would do anything to rid himself of the guilt he carries. But when circumstances force him to revisit the place of his treacherous deed he can’t reveal the truth.
Unexpectedly thrown together, Rachel and Titus both seek peace, but finding it with each other isn’t enough. Only an encounter with Jesus can force them to face the trauma of their past.
Will Titus release the burden he’s concealed? And what will it take for Rachel to forgive the Forgiver and find life again?
If this sounds appealing to you will you:
Leave a comment and contact me using the form below if you want an advance pdf copy to read.
Let your friends know this redemption story will be out in time for Easter.
Commit to writing an honest review sometime during the week it releases.
Thank you in advance! I believe this story will touch someone’s heart.
[contact-form]
February 25, 2018
The 3 “D” Words Continued…
The dictionary definition of despair is “to lose, give up, or be without hope.”
“The sense of having done something irreversible tends to make us despair.”
Oswald Chambers
I would add that something done to us that is irreversible can also lead to despair. Despair is that feeling that every option is depleted and there’s no use trying anything else because nothing will yield positive results.
Haven’t we all been there at one point or another?
Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest had some great insights about despair and how to handle it. He explains how the disciples must have felt despair when they were asked by Jesus to keep watch and pray with him, but they fell asleep instead.
That night was a pretty big deal.
When soldiers came to take Jesus, the disciples realized they had lost their opportunity to participate in a special time with Jesus. And the worst was that they may never see him again. Since he was crucified soon after that, it ended up being the last moments they spent with him alive. At least until he rose again. But they didn’t know that then.
Whether a tragic event has occurred in our life, we’ve done something regrettable, or we’ve missed a great opportunity, with God there is always a future. Even if we can’t change what’s happened, we can act for what is to come.
Chambers reminds us that Jesus encouraged the disciples to “Get up and do the next thing.”
When faced with despair, I’ve learned to:
Grieve over the situation. Acknowledge the reality of what’s happened. Neither denying nor wallowing is helpful.
Leave what’s happened in God’s hands. He sees all and has a plan for everything. What’s been done to us, or what we’ve done is no surprise to him. Our plan B has always been his plan A because he knew what would happen. He’s granted forgiveness. He’ll bring comfort. He’s the God of justice and mercy.
Remember that God has a future hope for me that can’t be cut off. (Prov. 23:18; Prov. 24:14 & Jer. 29:11)
Look to that future. What is the next step I can take? Take it.
And as Oswald Chambers says…
“Never let the sense of past failure defeat your next step.”
Despair is real, human and expected from time to time. We may even feel we can’t pull out of it. But by taking these steps, and being patient with myself, I’ve learned to move ahead with my life–even when life seemed like it must be over.
It’s not over until God says it’s over.
What are some steps you’ve found to be helpful in dealing with despair?
February 18, 2018
The 3 “D” Words
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Another tragedy struck Florida this week.
I hate to say this is becoming common place – may that not be true! But at the very least when people are senselessly shot down, we are left with questions, anger and sorrow.
But a tragedy isn’t the only situation that can set off the 3 “D” words. Sometimes it’s past trauma or something as simple as a difficult day. Maybe they’re set off by prolonged distress like abuse or bullying. Perhaps we’ve managed to survive for years when one of them, or all three, strike, leaving us reeling.
What are those words?
Depression. Despair. Destruction.
From the limited information I’ve heard, I would guess that the young man who open fired at the school in Parkland, Florida experienced those emotions. And certainly the families devastated by his actions will grapple with them.
So how do we handle depression, despair and destructive patterns?
I’m not a psychologist. I don’t have formal training. I don’t claim to be any kind of expert. But I’ve experienced all of these feelings at some point in my life, and I’ve talked with others who have struggled to get a grip in the wake of these emotions. Along the way, I’ve learned some information that has helped me.
Maybe if we each learned to cope with our feelings of depression, despair and destruction and noticed the indication of those emotions in others, we could help lessen future incidents of violence that result from hurting hearts.
Depression.
First, I want to acknowledge that there can be chemical and hormonal reasons for depression. For some people, medication may be the answer. I don’t propose that someone who is being helped by medication should not take it or feel bad about taking it. Each individual needs to do what’s best for them. Here are a couple of things that have helped me:
A dear pastor friend once told me that depression was caused by something being “pressed down” in my life, thoughts or heart. So I learned that whenever I feel depressed I should ask myself “What are you pressing down?” Usually, it’s sorrow, disappointment or frustration created by some previous incident, and I haven’t allowed myself to process, cry, talk, grieve or somehow deal with my feelings. Maybe I’ve been too busy, or thought I shouldn’t feel that way or tried to pass it off as no big deal. It’s usually a far bigger deal than I think if it leaves me feeling depressed. Sometimes I’m not sure what my feelings are or why, but I believe God knows. So I ask him. The Bible says:
“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3
I had to learn how I process situations and the emotions arising from them. Some people process internally, mulling over things until they can sort them in their head. Others process externally. I’m one of those. I think of it as dumping the contents of my purse on the table. When I see it all, I can keep or discard what I need. I have to talk out loud about things, sometimes more than once, in order to sort through it. If I try to process internally, I become depressed. Likewise, for some internal processors, if they’re forced to talk about something before they’ve had time to think, they may feel depressed by their inability to pinpoint what is in their heart or head. How do you process? It’s good to know and act according to how you best function. Whether you are internal or external, it’s good to talk to God and a trusted friend about your feelings when the time is right for you. God says in Hebrews 4:16 that we can approach him with confidence. He understands what we’re going through.
Sometimes we need to do some simple, everyday, ordinary task. Take out the trash, get dressed, make a bed or take a shower. Just one task at a time. And then another one when we’re ready. In the Bible, the prophet Elijah was depressed. He’d just had a show down with an evil woman and was exhausted. An angel came to him and said
“Arise and eat.” I Kings 19:5
No earth shattering advice or vision or deep spiritual explanation. Just get up and eat. Sometimes God tells us to do something ordinary.
“…His inspiration is to do the most natural, simple things– things we would never have imagined God was in, but as we do them we find him there.” Oswald Chambers
A change of scenery can change a perspective. Often when I am feeling depressed, I’d rather lie in bed than go out and face the world. But sometimes getting out to another setting even if it’s simply going outside for a little while can shift my thinking. Isolation begets depression so even when I feel I can’t be around people, interacting with others, especially if I’m doing something to serve them, is exactly with I need to break out of a depressed state.
These actions help me when I’m feeling depressed. I pray they will be helpful to you as well.
Next week we’ll look at the next “D” word: despair.
What helps you when you’re feeling depressed?
February 11, 2018
So What About the Goals I Set?
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I don’t often do this.
While I’m always honest in sharing my heart here, I don’t always give all the details of my life. Usually, it doesn’t serve a purpose to talk about me apart from what I’m learning that may be helpful to others.
But this post is different.
On occasion I read back through my journals to see what God has done, how I’ve changed or where I still need work on something God’s been teaching me. This week I had some time to do that and found some words I had written that I felt God had spoken to me.
Words about goals, plans and schedules.
It seems so appropriate for this time of year when we’re all struggling to get a handle on our New Year’s resolutions or goals for the year. When maybe we wonder what we were thinking when we planned on that situation being accomplished or expected a particular thing to work according to plan.
Here’s what I believe God told me…
“Set a schedule, set goals, make plans, but let Me rule and lead you within that. Those things aren’t wrong, but they can’t consume you so that you forget your God first. So I will destroy your goals and plans and anything you set as more important than me – your marriage, life, children, business, books, job, etc.
When you can live intentionally while letting me direct you, you will find peace and success.
I want good for you. I have good for you, but I must be first and you must allow your goals and plans to fall or bow to me. I will restore you because I restore. I will provide because I provide. If you look to your goals and plans as security, it will come to nothing.
I know you try to put Me first. You give Me first fruits. You spend time with Me and in My presence. You ask for wisdom and for Me to lead you. All good – BUT then you look to your plans and despair if I lead you outside of them.
And you ignore Me when I speak. When I tell you what to do, you decide what you want instead or what you “feel” like doing or not doing. That is not letting Me lead you. When you disregard your plan for your own whims, that is not allowing Me to lead you either.
But if you are completely submitted and surrendered to Me, you don’t have to be afraid. I will lead you in ways that are good.”
My response?
I’m so sorry, Lord. Please forgive me. I feel my prideful heart rise up with objections. “I don’t.” “I’m not.” “I didn’t.” But the truth is clear and the fact that resentment comes means I’m doing exactly what you say I am.
When I don’t heed your lead, I’m lost indeed.
The truth is, I can’t ask God to lead me and then question His leading and pull to do my own thing.
Goals and plans are good. Even God tells us to make plans. God is a planner. He planned for the temple with great precision. He gave plans to rebuild the city of Jerusalem. And He planned for his son, Jesus, to come to us to make a way for us to have relationship with him restored by his planned death and resurrection.
Now there’s a plan!
But God’s plans prevail. God makes our plans succeed. God is the one who goes ahead of us and behind – he was and is and is to come so he’s already been where we are and where we’re going. Why wouldn’t we ask him to clue us in and lead us in the best way?
I didn’t plan to write this today.
But God must believe that someone out there can be helped, blessed or encouraged by God’s words to me. So I’m going with his plan today.
From my heart to yours.
What are some ways you keep surrendered to God and focused on his plans?
February 4, 2018
Need Divine Intervention?
We can all run to God on our own.
But sometimes we need the help and prayers of a friend. There’s something about another person joining us in asking God to be with us that makes it real, encouraging and relieving.
Mary DeMuth’s new release, Jesus Every Day, offers us that friendly hand on our shoulder with a heartfelt prayer for our day. Mary shares prayers she’s spoken to God with real, struggling, grateful words that touch our souls and make us feel as if we have someone who can relate to our cries for help.
And now Mary is taking her encouragement a step further.
Each day, you can listen to her new Pray Every Day podcast during which she shares a verse and talk to the Lord as he puts words on her heart. You will be encouraged and uplifted as you hear this woman of faith pour out prayers on your behalf.
Join her here.
And don’t forget to get a copy of Jesus Every Day as well.
