Laura Bennet's Blog, page 22
October 29, 2017
When You’re Troubled in Spirit
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Confession here…
Often, especially these days when there is so much pain in the world and even in my own life, I feel troubled in spirit. Even though I trust God and know that he’s in complete control of my life, my circumstances and my future, I can still be grieved by situations.
Someone’s actions or betrayal may hurt me. Sorrow grips my heart when I learn of a loved one’s struggle with tragedy, illness or death. Perhaps a difficult choice weighs on me—I know the best thing to do means putting aside my own wishes to uplift someone else.
But today, I read something that relieved me.
“Jesus was troubled in spirit.” John 13:21
Say what?
Jesus? The Son of God, Jesus? God himself, Jesus? That Jesus?
Wow.
I don’t know about you, but that brought a thrill of hope to me. See, those words come right before he told his disciples that someone would betray him.
I’ve been betrayed. Jesus knows how I felt.
Then I remembered a couple of other times that Jesus felt troubled. When his friend Lazarus died, Jesus wept. And the hours before he was crucified, he prayed, sweating drops of blood because he was “deeply distressed and troubled.” But how can I be a Christian, trusting in an omnipotent God and be troubled?
How could Jesus?
Jesus knew the outcome of Judas betraying him. He knew he’d be tortured and hung on a cross. But he also knew he’d be alive again. And when his friend died, Jesus knew he’d be raising Lazarus from the dead. So why was he troubled if he knew that good was coming?
And if I trust God and know good is coming why would I be troubled?
Emotions are God given. When life happens, we feel joy, excitement, surprise and sometimes grief, sorrow or even anger. Feeling emotion is obviously an experience Jesus can relate to. We are created in his image so why wouldn’t we feel those same emotions?
And yet, the next words of Jesus seem contradictory.
He tells his followers to not let their hearts be troubled. But I believe he’s saying it as an encouragement rather than a command. Maybe what he’s saying is don’t allow your hearts remain troubled. Feeling troubled is normal, but staying troubled will not be helpful.
So, what do we do with a troubled spirit?
In John chapter fourteen, Jesus reminds his followers that they can trust him, and he assures them of their future with him. He also promises the Holy Spirit—a counselor or helper that will guide them, or us, through life.
And finally, he gives us peace.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27
I believe he’s telling us that even when we feel troubled in spirit, which we will, we don’t need to continue feeling troubled or afraid because we can trust him to take care of everything no matter what our situation looks like. We can rely on his spirit to give us peace in each circumstance.
Each time Jesus was troubled, he spent time with his father, God.
God waits for us to come to him in the same way—bringing our troubled spirit, our grief, our sorrow and laying it at his feet so he can exchange them for his peace and promise for our future. When we remain in his love for us, we can rest there and not allow our hearts to remain troubled.
If your heart is troubled as mine has been recently, I invite you to join me at the Father’s feet laying down our situations and picking up his peace and his promises for our future.
Let’s remain in his love.
If your heart is troubled, I’d love to pray for you. Would you let me know in the comments below or email me at laurabennet14@gmail.com
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October 22, 2017
Are You in Need of a Game Winning Touchdown?
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This week, I’m featuring my friend Ken Garber who is a registered addiction specialist. I appreciated how his most recent post uses this great football analogy for taking our life forward for a win…
Maybe you’re like me and not watching football this year. But my guess is that I am probably in the minority!
For those of you who were paying attention to the games on Sunday, did you find yourself saying something like, “Come on, we need a touchdown right now!” Or perhaps your team was scoring touchdowns, but came up one touchdown short for the win.
I decided to go to the internet and type in a team that typically doesn’t do very well and I chose the Cleveland Browns. (Sorry to my Cleveland friends!) I discovered that although they have been scoring touchdowns this season, they’re still not getting the victory — most of their games they have been one touchdown short. Just one key player or superstar missing in the lineup can make all the difference.
Last week I was praying the Lord’s Prayer and found myself saying,
“Father, let Your Kingdom come and Your will “touch down” upon this earth and in our city. Touch down, Father, in my life, in my marriage. Touch down in my ministry, come Lord Jesus with Your Kingdom and touch down in my health and in Janie’s health, and in our finances. Come, Lord Jesus, and let Your Kingdom come and touch down upon my dreams and passions so I can be obedient to the purposes of you, God, in my life just as it is in heaven.”
We need a touchdown and when God’s Kingdom comes and touches down in every area of our lives as it is in heaven, we will have the victory every time because Jesus is the Undefeated One!
Are you in need of a game-winning touchdown right now? Where do you need the Undefeated One to touch down in your life?
I believe God put that within my heart to say those words — “touch down” — because God is on the move and His Kingdom is coming with power to touch down in our lives so that we will know that we are special and distinct from all other people on the earth.
I love this post.
When God’s Kingdom touches down it is an amazing thing.
I like this analogy too. Since my son (on the red and black team above) is playing football right now I can relate to yelling for a touchdown. As I read Ken’s post, I prayed for a game winning touchdown in many areas of my life too. But I was also reminded that sometimes a touchdown comes only after a lot of first downs.
Last week, one of our young men ran a ball back nearly 80 yards for a touch down. It was spectacular, amazing and so unexpected. I love when God does that kind of touch down, don’t you? The hail Mary pass or the 80 yard run back has us cheering with high fives all around. We’re blown away and ecstatic.
Especially when it wins the game.
But that isn’t always how touch downs are scored or how God brings those wins either, right? I realized that much of the time, the game winning touchdown comes with small wins of first downs along the way.
Watching players plow through a wall of opposition to gain a few yards, lose some, gain a dozen more, get sacked and finally inch past the 10 yard marker is more the way my life looks right now.
Of course, each first down is a celebration, but most of the time it takes a lot of those to get down the field to finally score. Hard work, perseverance, blood, sweat and tears is often the precursor to that big win.
Just as Ken pointed out, it begins by asking God to bring his kingdom to touch down in our lives on earth as he has planned in heaven.
I appreciate Ken’s great analogy and prayer for God to touch down in our lives. Whether by incremental first downs or the miraculous catch or run, we can count on God to move us forward with wins in our life.
I’ll echo Ken’s words from above:
Where do you need the Undefeated One to touch down in your life?
I’d love to hear about the ways God has touched down in your life. Tell me in the comments below or email me at laurabennet14@gmail.com or Ken at ken@liferecoverycoach.org
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October 16, 2017
When Hope is Lost
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The past few months have devastated our nation with natural disasters in abundance. Fires, earthquakes, floods, hurricanes and the tragic shooting in Las Vegas leave us reeling with anger, grief, questions and perhaps hopelessness.
One nation under God.
A nation begun by those seeking God’s ways and freedom to live in them the way they chose. A nation whose pilgrims initially embraced help with gratitude from those who lived here before them as they all celebrated the unique offerings their differences yielded.
But now that nation is torn apart.
Hatred, racism, politics, disrespect and tragic disaster reign as each person tries to fix the issues in their realm or in their own heart. Many turn their anguish and heartache toward God with a shaking fist asking
“Where are you, God?”
I’ve certainly had my days of wondering where God is in all of this.
And I believe the answer to the question isn’t that God is absent, but that he’s present in each circumstance and life offering love, hope and something good to come out of all the bad. Maybe the good is a sense of unity like what happened in Florida and across the nation as a result of Irma. Perhaps it’s finding our neighbors and how we can help each other. It could even be someone turning to God for comfort.
God is with us.
It’s interesting to me that when good happens we are quick to point to ourselves—how we invented or accomplished or created something. But when bad happens we are quick to point at God with an accusing finger.
It’s our glory and God’s fault, right?
What if we flipped that around? What if all the mess of the world is actually us doing our own thing, going our own way, believing that we have answers and know what’s best but in reality we’re arrogantly messing things up?
What if God truly has the answers, has a way for our lives to work well, offers us good for the taking?
This side of heaven, nothing is going to fix this world. Oh, we can improve on things, feed the poor and take care of orphans and widows (just as Jesus told us to do). But since man chose to do his own thing from the beginning of creation, God turned the world over the to the father of lies, the one who kills, steals and destroys, the current ruler of earth.
Does that mean God isn’t in control?
Nope. He’s much greater than his and our enemy. His love far surpasses the evil of the world (Wonder Woman recognized it.) But he also doesn’t force anyone to follow him, love him or obey his ways. He gives us a choice. And much of the crisis in the world has been our choice.
Maybe not yours or mine in a given situation, but ours as a nation.
I love that even if we choose not to follow God, he pursues us, woos us and stays close to us waiting for us to turn around and embrace him. Like a lover—the lover of our soul desires relationship with us and longs for us. He will even allow something difficult to put up a roadblock so we will turn around and see him there with open arms.
In the end, God is our only hope.
He creates life in the face of death, streams of water in wastelands, rescue from bondage and offers an eternity in his presence. Each day, when I keep my eyes and heart focused on the One who loves me most and best, I am settled in peace and hope no matter what rages around me.
The same can be true for you.
Maybe it already is. But it’s not always without difficulty. Keeping our thoughts focused on someone we can’t see isn’t an easy task. That’s where faith comes in. Creation around us, God’s word and the testimony of others who know and follow Jesus help keep us on track. Listening to soothing music helps keep me focused.
Hope is never really lost.
We may feel hopeless at a point of crisis or loss or when we look at the devastation and wonder what we can possibly do to make a difference. But for each simple act, like a prayer or a few dollars or a bottle of water, we offer hope and our hope is restored.
After all, God, who is love, is also our hope.
If you are feeling hopeless, I would love to pray for you. Let me know in the comments below or email me at laurabennet14@gmail.com
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October 7, 2017
Are You Being Restored?
A friend, my son and I remodeled a house once.
Planning and designing a new layout for the kitchen, closing in a breakfast nook for a bedroom, re-structuring the fireplace and a bathroom counter afforded hours of fun. Trips to the store for paint swatches, granite and tile felt like an adventure.
And then the actual work began.
At first, we jumped in full of enthusiasm. Even moving the kitchen temporarily to the dining room didn’t deflate our excitement. At least, not until about the third week when dust covered everything in the house, and painting the cabinet doors required an extra coat of paint. Or when standing on a ladder painting crown molding left us with aching arms.
In the end, the place looked amazing and we were proud of our hard hours of labor, but during the process, we often lamented the time, effort and expense of such extensive projects. Exhausted and paint spattered, we spent many evenings sprawled across dusty furniture (somehow not protected by the plastic sheeting we’d erected) wondering if we had what it would take to finish.
I think moving our life forward can be like restoring or remodeling a house.
My life is currently in a state of restoration. I didn’t expect it take this long. (We never do.) But I’m reminded of that project we accomplished and the house shows I love watching like Property Brothers or Fixer Upper. I think there is a correlation.
Sometimes your pipes are leaking. Or a joist is rotted. Maybe the plumbing has rusted through or the electrical wiring is shot. We don’t also see those problems until we’re in the midst of a remodel.
But I trust that God sees all the issues that need fixing in my life.
Each day I ask him to reveal what the current project is and wait for his instruction. Maybe it’s being open to thinking differently about something. Perhaps I need to have a hard conversation with someone. I may need to repent of a behavior, apologize to someone I’ve hurt or forgive a person for hurting me.
At times it requires me digging into the past.
A closet (our heart) can only hold so much junk before it spills out. Wounds from the past can be rotting away a place in our heart like unseen water leaks ruin wood. Old thought patterns can be like wiring that is no longer up to code with a potential to start a devastating fire.
Viewing my life like an old house gives me hope.
If Chip and Joanna Gaines can take a falling apart disaster and turn it into a beautiful, special masterpiece, then God can certainly do the same with my life. It may turn out differently or take a little longer than I expect, but His handiwork is incomparable. He’s in the business of redemption.
Where is your life being restored?
For those who love old house restoration, here’s a link with and interesting story and some great advice:
https://www.oldhouseonline.com/articles/11-tips-for-surviving-a-restoration
September 30, 2017
When Are Boundaries Good?
The lack of street lights or traffic signals left everyone accountable for following the rules of the road without directions for when to stop, go or turn. Left turns especially created challenges because of timing. Which side should turn when? Should we turn together as a traffic light would indicate? Some folks decided they alone owned the road and made their own rules.
Accidents escalated.
City officials wisely set a curfew at 8 p.m. but many balked at the restriction, feeling inhibited by the temporary law. They seemed to believe the guidelines were set to hinder life rather than protect it. But without lights, no one could see to safely navigate around other cars or obstacles in the road especially through intersections.
One night while attempting to get to a friend’s house as dark closed in, I completely understood the reason for the curfew. The roads weren’t safe. My heart raced as I tried to navigate the turns and intersections still without power. I narrowly missed a tree in my lane. It was only a few minutes after curfew when I arrived, but that experience was enough to convince me I would never cut it that close again.
Those boundaries were created for our safety and protection not simply for the sake of the ones setting the rules to control us.
The incident reminded me of God’s commandments.
God gave us laws to create an environment for a good life. He created commandments for us to benefit us. His rules in the Bible help us know healthy things to eat, how to handle disease and environmental issues and how to deal with relationships.
His goal was to protect us and those around us out of his love for us.
Just as our Florida lawmakers didn’t sit around trying to think up laws to frustrate us after the disaster, neither did God attempt to come up with rules to control us. Rather, they both show a concern for our well-being.
In the same way, we set boundaries in everyday life.
Whether the boundary consists of keeping a child safe from oncoming cars or keeping ourselves safe from unhealthy communication or actions in a relationship, protecting ourselves and our loved ones is a positive thing.
Consider the ten commandments in light of this idea: what if God gave them not to shame us, but to help us? Like a promise to us or a covenant is what he calls it. What if we read Exodus 20:1-17 like this:
Remember that I made you and I love you. I proved this by rescuing you from people who made you slaves and treated you badly. (Historically, God is talking about leading the Israelites out of Egypt, but he does the same for us. See Exodus chapters 1-19)
Because of this:
Turn to ME for help. No other god can do what I can do so it won’t help you to think there is one that can. (I Kings 18:21-39)
Don’t make a god out of something thinking it will do something for you. Things that come from the earth and sky are created by me; they have no power in themselves. They don’t love you jealously like I do, as a groom loves his bride. It will not do you any good to worship (spend your time with) these idols, and it will break my heart because I really love you. If you make idols (gods), it will show me that you hate me and will cause your life and your future children’s lives to get messed up. I only want good for you because I love you, so sometimes I may discipline you to help you make choices that will bring you good. I would love it if you loved me too. (Hebrews 12:5-6)
Be careful how you use my name. If you use it carelessly or as a word to swear with, you show your disrespect and disregard for me. Remember who I am. I am the Lord your God who loves you. (James 5:12)
Benefits for Us
If you are respectful to your parents, you will show that you respect me. I’ve given them to you for your good and if they do not always do right or even good things for you, they must answer to me. Your job is to honor them. If you do, things will go well for you. (Ephesians 6:1-3)
Rest on the seventh day after working hard the other six days. Your bodies and minds need rest and will work so much better if you let them have a break. You will be more creative and productive too! Plus, if you rest, it lets other people who serve you in various ways rest too. That seventh day should be great for you and me to spend together and begin your week well. It’s the same thing I did when I created the world so I know what I’m talking about. (Genesis 2:2)
Benefits for Others
Don’t plan on killing someone even in your mind. I made people and I love everyone. People are valuable so please don’t hurt them. (Psalm 139:13-16)
Recognize that marriage is a wonderful thing and should be honored and respected. Being faithful and loyal to the person someone is married to will bring them good if they honor their covenant even when it is hard. Respect the marriages of other people by encouraging them to be faithful to their spouse too. (Psalm 15:2-4)
Respect others’ belongings. Don’t take something that doesn’t belong to you. Ask before you use something and return it promptly and in good condition when you are done. (Ephesians 4:28)
Speak only the truth about others and situations they are involved in. Help others by being honest. (Ephesians 4:15)
Be grateful for and content with what you have. Don’t keep looking at someone else’s things or abilities and want them for yourself. (James 4:1-3)
Remember that I love you because I made you and you are special to me. If you love me, like I love you and love other people like you love me and yourself, you will be able to follow these guidelines. (Matthew 22:37-40)
But when you do mess up, Jesus has you covered. It’s all good.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned…” John 3:16-18a
Maybe it’s time to think differently about boundaries.
What is something intended to bring us good rather than harm that we’ve viewed as bad, restrictive or controlling? Are there boundaries you need to set in your life for the good of yourself or someone you love? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
September 24, 2017
In The Aftermath of Irma
It’s been two weeks since Irma ravaged the islands south of Florida and made landfall only miles south of where I live. When power came on for the first time a week ago, I felt as if I’d entered an episode of the Twilight Zone. The entryway light beckoned and a television voice spoke of a hurricane in the distance. Only the different name gave away the fact that days had passed.
It was as if time had stopped and started again with a normal week missing in between. Instead, we experienced a surreal week of survival that continues even now.
I emerged from the storm unscathed in body or material damage, but many were not so fortunate. For the first week since early Monday morning, my church deployed a first responder team. I had the privilege of helping organize teams to assist with physical needs, visiting shelters and helping with lunch service, delivering oxygen and fever medication, taking water to dozens of hot and thirsty folks and praying for and encouraging them with the love of Jesus.
This week, I rested. And cried.
Everywhere is evidence of what we’ve all suffered through no matter the extent of the damage. Some houses are still under water, many massive trees lie across yards and homes. While clean-up efforts have made good progress, debris litters most streets. Companies work round the clock to get electricity and water flowing. About half of the businesses in my town are functioning at some capacity. The other half need to relocate because or damage, or wait for power and internet to be restored.
While hope permeates and inspires, the reality of relief and recovery loom with a shocked sense of foreboding.
No one can deny the trauma we’ve experienced.
With another hurricane approaching in the distance, I confess the prospect is daunting at best. While I completely trust God and know he is in control, I wouldn’t be honest if I said I wasn’t emotionally affected by this past few weeks as well as whatever faces us in the days to come.
I’m not alone.
I’ve prayed with over a dozen people whose lives felt chaotic, confusing and hopeless. And I’m only one person. Our church has ministered to more than 10,000 people collectively and that doesn’t count all the other churches that have impacted our state.
And let’s not forget the people in Houston, areas of California that have dealt with flooding and fires, Mexico City, Montana and Puerto Rico.
So how do we move our lives forward in the midst of such destruction and heartache? I don’t have all the answers, but I’ve had some great counsel. Here are 6 ways to move forward:
Cry. Yep. It’s a good thing to release the overwhelming emotions through tears. Grieving for the losses is healthy and helpful. In addition, pent up adrenaline causes anxiety. Tears may be your way of letting it go.
Rest. It may seem impossible when there is so much to be done, but taking a break by reading, watching a movie or taking a nap will rejuvenate your mind, body and soul.
Take a walk. Exercise releases endorphins which create a sense of well-being. Exercise also relieves stores of adrenaline which helps return our bodies back to a balanced state.
Talk to someone. Relating your experiences to a trusted friend(s) helps us process what’s in our heart and mind. Sharing stories can help us sort through the negative and see positive in the midst.
Help someone else. When I’m listening to someone else and serving and praying for them, my mind focuses on them not my woes. But be wise about how much of others’ burdens you carry. A trusted friend reminded me that when I’m helping others, I’m also feeling their trauma as well as my own so I need to take time to rest in between.
Pray and praise. I could not have made it through this without constant communication with God, other people praying for me and playing worship music as much as possible. In the depth of a disaster, we naturally feel afraid and need the reminder that God is with us, sees us and knows our needs. He will hold us and provide for us as we wait on him.
Our pastor, Matt Keller, talked about three phases in a crisis: rescue, relief and recovery.
Immediately after the hurricane, as we were able, we began rescuing people who were trapped in homes or had trees blocking their way or puncturing their roofs. While we can visibly see a physical need, we also need to be aware that our hearts need rescuing too.
And not only in a storm.
The Bible tells us that God is our rescuer from situations in which we have sinned or people have hurt us with their sin. He rescues us by Jesus’s death on the cross which relieves us of the sin in our lives when we accept his action on our behalf. He then can also rescue us from circumstances by showing us a way out.
After the first few days of rescuing people, we met their needs for relief. Many were without power and water so they were sweltering in our unusually high Florida heat. They needed water, food, ice and basic supplies.
God promises to provide for our needs. He sees us and makes a way for our every need to be met. He brings relief through practical ways, but also through prayer, friends and community.
And then comes recovery.
Each person and situation is different. For some of us, power is back on, we’ve been back to work and our homes are clear of damage and/or debris. Many others are still waiting for help, power or work to start again. No matter what our position is, recovery takes time.
Recovery for our emotional state takes time as well.
After any trauma, whether it is one of the recent events our nation and neighbors have faced or a personal tragedy, we must allow for God to take us through the process of healing and recovery. We may need more than our trusted friend and community. Professional counsel can lead us through that journey as well.
I pray that whatever you are going through in your life, you will seek whatever help you need.
And let’s keep praying for everyone who’s suffering right now. God is with us. He loves us and loves when we talk to him on behalf of others.
I’d be happy to partner with you in prayer if you let me know in the comments below or email me at laurabennet14@gmail.com
September 16, 2017
Can I Help You?
Have you ever wanted to write a book or start a blog?
Perhaps you would like to tell about that particular time when…, or help others with something you’ve learned. Maybe you’ve always been one to have people listening as you captivate them with your stories.
Maybe you don’t know where to start.
And maybe you didn’t know that I offer consulting, editing and critique services. I love helping people and teaching them what I’ve learned. I’d be happy to chat or email with you about your project and help you take it forward.
Check out my Write Your Book page for a contact form and prices and let’s set up a FREE initial consultation.
September 8, 2017
Hurricanes (Hardly Ever) Happen
The region where I live is all aflutter.
Hurricane Irma has been assaulting innocent islands in the south and is headed our way. For the past five days, Southwest Florida has purchased more gas, water, batteries and boards (no, not surf or paddle) than probably have been sold in the past five years.
People are literally running for their lives.
I don’t blame them. I’ll confess it’s a frightening situation, this first hurricane of my life. I’ve heard plenty of horror stories of the ones that ripped us apart in the past, but to be here first hand, stocking up on canned foods and looking at empty shelves in grocery stores is a bit daunting.
Then there are the news reports.
Trees bent over in winds whipping San Juan. Cars crawling along like…well not like ants because ants move faster—more like snails taking naps. Buildings decimated with roofs scattered. The pictures say a thousand words and more.
But the tone of it all is fear.
And I hate fear. While healthy fear can be a good thing causing us to be diligent in preparation, fear can also cripple us into immobility. Or avoidance which keeps us from facing the storm until the very last devastating moment when disaster is upon us.
Fear grips us in ugly claws until our hearts pound in panic.
In the midst of this stormy circumstance, I think fighting fear may be a bigger issue than the pending potential destruction. The actual fight for our lives happens in our minds. And fear is like a monster demanding to be fed.
If we fuel it, it will grow.
I don’t know what will happen in the next few days. I’m sure numerous people will lose some if not all of their belongings. I grieve with Houston’s residents. Some may lose their lives or someone they love. I could be one of them.
But fear will not help me weather the storm well.
Preparation, peace and confidence in my God who created wind, rain and oceans will set me up to endure this storm. No matter what happens, He will be there with us to guide, protect and comfort us. He can turn any tragedy into something positive or helpful.
Already we’ve seen people reaching out in kindness.
Kindness is a characteristic of God. A man giving up a generator for a woman in need is laying down his life and looking to another person’s interests instead of his own. Another man volunteering his time to make sure people get water is giving of himself. We may think of those stories as sweet or nice, and they are, but really they are examples of God’s love.
I don’t know if those men know God personally.
But I do know that God is blessed when we exhibit his character. Serving, helping, giving all equal loving. God is love. And when we point to him as the source, he is pleased because he longs to see his love displayed to every single person.
Perhaps this post seems a bit random.
But as you read about kindness, did you forget I started with fear? Yeah, that’s what I though. When God’s love gets involved, fear gets pushed away. The Bible puts it this way,
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear… I John 4:18
If I know God loves me, then no matter what my situation, I don’t have to be afraid. He will bring the best for me even in the worst of circumstances. I know that’s easier to say than to experience all the time, but that has been my goal during this hurricane.
If it’s time to go, I will be with Jesus. If I get hurt, he will heal me at some point. If I am safe, I can help someone else. And in any case, I can trust him to hold me in the storm if I keep my eyes on him.
September 4, 2017
Why Perspective Matters
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Did you see snow on mountain tops or sand on beach rocks?
I took this picture at the beach, and I still think of snowy alps nearly every time I see the photo in my gallery.
Interesting, isn’t it?
A couple of days ago, I was driving somewhere and pulled up next to a car at a stop light. The car had an Indiana license plate, but at first glance I thought it said Nevada. As a matter of fact, I absolutely believed, in that initial moment, that the car was from Nevada. (Could it be because I lived in Nevada for 10 years?)
Until I took a second look.
How can we be so convinced that the way we see something is actually the way it is when it isn’t? My children were all raised in the same household, but each of them remembers incidents the others don’t, or from a different angle. Kind of like the movie Vantage Point in which we watch a plot unfold from several different angles.
What affects our perspective?
Exhaustion – the day I saw the Indiana plates I had little sleep and much stress
Anxiety – seeing life through anxiety places a filter of fear over every situation
Age – a three year old and sixty year old will have a vastly different perspective
Culture – a thumbs up here in the States is positive, but elsewhere it’s an insult
Point of View – asking my grandchild seated in a stroller if he can see what I see over a fence is kind of pointless, right?
Attitude – are you a half-full or half-empty kinda guy?
Preconceived concepts – our values and beliefs become ingrained in us
Experiences in life – each joy filled or painful circumstance defines how we will perceive the next similar situation
Everything we process is in relation to all of these things in our mind, heart and life.
No wonder people experiencing the same situation can have vastly different perspectives of what has happened. Granted, perhaps we can agree on general absolutes like the color red. But even as I write red, what color comes to mind? Tomato? Strawberry? Cherries?
I’ve been trying to wrap my mind around this concept.
I know what is in my heart or mind when I do, say or see something, but what if the next person has an opposite view of my action, words or vision? Is one wrong and the other right?
Or are they both right?
2 + 2 = 4 seems pretty absolute and concrete to me. And I, by nature, tend to see things pretty black and white. But my math-loving husband might throw a variable in there and contest that even numbers can change it up. (Unless they’re absolute numbers, right? But now we are in a realm for which I have limited perspective.)
So, how do we handle perspective?
My go to reference is the Bible. Here are a few things I’m learning and working on:
Speak truth in love. My perspective is my truth, but I can present it kindly.
Consider others’ interests not only mine. Their view is their truth so listen to them.
Respecting each other honors Christ. Humility benefits us both.
Be honest with myself. I may not see the whole picture.
Don’t assume. I’m not someone else so even if I think I know what they feel, I don’t.
In the end, only God sees everything. The entire world, universe without time and distance is his. He can see from every angle and into every heart and mind. The Psalmist said,
Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely, O Lord.” Psalm 139:4
That’s good news, because I can ask him to help me see as he does. From his perspective. He says if we lack wisdom (his way of thinking) we can ask him, and he’ll give it to us. And even better is that he can transform us by renewing our minds – changing our perspective.
The brief moment when I had an inaccurate perception about the car with the Indiana license plate didn’t matter in the big picture of life, but when my spouse or kids or friends and I think differently it can cause turmoil if we can’t tolerate and accept each other’s view of things. Even if we don’t agree.
Even now in our world, huge battles are taking place because of perspective.
Their perspective is true. My perspective is true. But only God’s perspective is 100% accurate.
What is your perspective about this blog post?
August 29, 2017
Nearly 20 Years Later…
Sometimes moving our life forward means taking care of the past.
It all started with a silly poem I made up for my daughter, Ashley, when she was little. The poem traveled around with me, visited various illustrator possibilities and spent months pinned up on my double, sliding closet door.
In between, the being-refined poem and stack of illustrations resided in an unidentified large envelope in various drawers and cupboards making it’s way out for a few weeks or months at a time when determination overcame insecurity and fear.
I’d work on it until overwhelm set in and set up roadblocks, then I’d pack it away again in frustration. Maybe, eventually, I’d settle all the issues keeping it from moving all the way to completion.
Life’s like that sometimes, isn’t it?
We decide we want more. Something creative, better, whole or workable, but issues stand in our way. In a moment of bravery, we face the challenges and determine to set things right. Maybe we make a little progress, but get derailed by the difficulty, pain or inability to handle the questions.
Perhaps it’s a relationship that needs restoring or an addiction we want to be rid of. Or a habit that’s dug itself into our life against our will, and we desperately want it broken. Whatever it is, it can never be too late or take too long to finish.
I finished, and so can you.
The message of this little poem book is that God made things exactly right. Everything he created is the way it should be, and even though we mess things up or people mess things up for us, at the end of the day, we can rest in knowing that God is the one holding everything.
The Bible tells us that God who began a good work in us, will carry it on to completion. (Phil. 1:6) He won’t leave us hanging.
And he can make things “just right” again.
So, finally, Just Right in digital format is complete and available for FREE, but tomorrow is the last day.
But wait, that’s not all.
(LOL. I simply had to say it.) You can now also order the print copy of this rainy day, bedtime story book too!
AND if you order using this link, and send me (laurabennet14@gmail.com) some proof (copy of your receipt, an email saying you ordered, or a note on a carrier pigeon – okay, so that last one was just to see if you were paying attention, I will send you 2 freebies – my new booklet How Reading Grows Great Kids AND the Book Navigator (study/activity guide) for the book Five Children and It (book not included).
What a deal!
But the best deal of the day, is the chance you have right now to tackle something you want finished and know that God will help you get through it in his best timing. Even if it takes twenty years.
I’d love to know what you’ve completed or would like to complete that’s taken you way longer than you thought or hoped it would. Tell me your story in the comments below!
